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ImageNameLocationTwitter sinceLinks
Anthony MMy house derp2009-03-25
@AnthonyMustache1,855 days
Why does this get 160 characters and tweets only get 140 what the fuck is this bullshit
FollowersFollowingTweetsListsFavorites
1886877,47803,306
We found 198 favorite tweets.
OhNoSheTwitnt @OhNoSheTwitnt
Explained to my dad that his wife can't be my "stepmom" because she's only 9 years older than me. He watches Fox News so he bought my logic.
18h               
73
5
Brandon Gutermuth @UNTRESOR
*whispers to pilot* Please don't make this plane disappear I haven't seen 12 Years a Slave yet
18h               
94
8
Carousel of Progress @CarouslOProgrss
I'm craving some birthday cake. Someone come up on stage and give me a slice!
23h               
14
4
brian kiley @kileynoodles
I once worked at a diner that was robbed 17 times. Someone would ask for “the usual” and I'd give them everything in the cash register.
23h               
29
7
Taylor @td4sc
It’s your 16th birthday Animal Kingdom and this is a time in your life where you may be tempted by bad choices. A blue child is forever.
1d               
16
8
Carousel of Progress @CarouslOProgrss
Today is the day! I "turn" 50! From NY to CA to FL I've entertained generations of guests.
1d               
17
6
Nerds in Wonderland @WonderlandNerds
I could use a few spins on the TTA to clear my mind.
1d               
12
1
Betty F*ckin' White @BettyFckinWhite
So Seth Rogen is playing the responsible dad that hates the partying frat next door? Ugh! Type casting!
1d               
24
5
no plz @tbhplzdont
my kind of bouquet pic.twitter.com/pXz27jQVtw
1d               
378
323
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
Oscar Meyer is recalling 96,000 pounds of hot dogs for containing cheese. A hot dog made with an identifiable food? Gross!
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3,193
2,079
gooby @imgooby
Wat teh fak pic.twitter.com/vkUvmgOcQS
1d               
337
261
Grace Lynn @simplygracee
just did day 21 of the ab challenge.. but where are my abs though? >:O
1d               
2
Taco Bell @TacoBell
Taco Bell is changing my life.
1d               
3,690
3,034
John Fugelsang @JohnFugelsang
Bruce Springsteen has a great new 4-song vinyl EP 'American Beauty' for Record Store Day; look for it wherever you look for record stores.
1d               
22
13
Drake and Josh @DrakeJoshQuotez
Josh: "Would you like a soda?"
Old Lady: "No, I don't believe in liquids"
1d               
1,517
586
Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome
I'm back tonight with new shows after my crazy week-long time travel adventure where I travelled forwards through time at a normal rate
1d               
2,092
632
Ken Jeong @kenjeong
Can't forget my bubby!!!! @YNB pic.twitter.com/gMMaTLHINd
1d               
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184
John Fugelsang @JohnFugelsang
The best part of being a Mets fan is always being able to make plans to do stuff every October.
1d               
45
23
EPCOTCitizen @EPCOTcitizen
Finally watching #Cosmos
1d               
3
1
Ken Jeong @kenjeong
pic.twitter.com/bp0tE88fPp
1d               
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1,008
Darth Vader @DepressedDarth
This is so true pic.twitter.com/zYMzOJsPYC
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1,115
890
Jessica Rabbit @Franciechan
Ralph's isn't that good that I'll wait on line for 20 mins. Weird people
1d               
3
1
Mike @mike_palmieri
Gotta love the girls with the after work yoga pants
1d               
1
1
Matt MyAnnoyances @MyAnnoyances
I used to write all over the exam page "intentionally left blank" because fuck the system
1d               
1
Julius Sharpe @juliussharpe
The only qualification for working at an airline is making a confused face at a monitor.
1d               
472
201
Kyle Lippert @Kyle_Lippert
"Can I have more of these mouse spears?"
"Sir those are toothpicks"
"I need 1000 for my army. We march at dawn"
1d               
2,150
1,232
Simpsons Quotes @Simpsons_tweets
Aw, jeez. You got the stink lines and everything. pic.twitter.com/QVwkE5Rnal
1d               
138
120
Bill Mc7 @BillMc7
Imagine watching Game of Thrones or Downton Abbey or The Walking Dead and shutting the fuck up about it.
2d               
129
29
Jessica Rabbit @Franciechan
I told my sister "let me play you the song of my people" and I farted
2d               
4
John Fugelsang @JohnFugelsang
Fab Easter pic.twitter.com/SsMPxXBxsM
2d               
77
107
Professor Snape @_Snape_
If you're reading this, you've already begun avoiding your family. Happy Easter.
2d               
4,066
2,921
Jackie Monahan @jackiemonahan
Just to let you know the Virgin Mary never god laid but Jesus got nailed! #HappyEaster
2d               
5
2
Guy Codes @codesforguys
Why is everyone saying 4/20, 1/5 is the proper fraction.
2d               
682
713
Lou Mearngello @mearn
Hi guys I booked the wrong fastpass but need to be let in anyway I'm very important
2d               
18
3
Doge @WowSuchDoge
#420WowIt
2d               
347
416
Community @nbccommunity
This moment though. #Community pic.twitter.com/Z4NS6NSSyg
2d               
761
346
no @tbhnoonecares
Why blaze it when you can glaze it pic.twitter.com/VNyWHTVn4H
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2,938
College Student @ColIegeStudent
4/20 on Easter pic.twitter.com/fvr6Cznom1
2d               
1,813
2,001
Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt
Is everyone getting high waiting for Hitler to bring the chocolate bunnies? #HappyEaster
2d               
1,058
689
OhNoSheTwitnt @OhNoSheTwitnt
On Game of Thrones they celebrate Wester.
3d               
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108
Ed Lee @smedlee
Jesus died for your sins and Frederica Bimmel died for Buffalo Bill's skins HAPPY EASTER
3d               
28
2
Cory Disbrow @cmdisbrow
According to MDE, you can ride BTM, Buzz, Pirates, JC, Space Mtn, Haunted Mansion, and Dumbo in the same time you'd wait for Frozen hugs.
3d               
7
2
Matt MyAnnoyances @MyAnnoyances
A bread bowl is such an American idea. "I don't have enough food!" "What do you want?" "...let me eat the fucking bowl!"
3d               
1
2
Cory Disbrow @cmdisbrow
Just a meet and greet. Seriously. Move along. Holy cow. There are E TICKET ATTRACTIONS in the park that don't have three hour waits.
3d               
15
3
Simpsons Quotes @Simpsons_tweets
Young man, your gargantuan cone is making a mockery of our self serve policy! pic.twitter.com/VIfxGV8K1H
3d               
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146
OhNoSheTwitnt @OhNoSheTwitnt
Happy Easter. The day we celebrate Princess Anna's ultimate sacrifice and act of true love that resulted in her resurrection.
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OhNoSheTwitnt @OhNoSheTwitnt
Every Easter on Twitter we celebrate by resurrecting our Easter tweets from the previous years.
3d               
56
13
SimpsonsQOTD @SimpsonsQOTD
"This reporter isn't saying that the burglar is an inhuman monster like the Wolfman, but he very well could be." pic.twitter.com/NNj6NL0CaL
3d               
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441
The Facts Professor @FactsProfessor
Ink for your printer is actually more expensive than blood.
3d               
17
150
SimpsonsQOTD @SimpsonsQOTD
"How do I know I can trust you?"
"Marge, look at me! We've been separated for a day and I'm as dirty as a Frenchman." pic.twitter.com/AeJRYPYXMg
3d               
588
472
Tyler, The Creator @fucktyler
START A BAND, SUCK, KEEP SUCKING, FIND YOUR SOUND, GET GOOD, SHAPE THAT SOUND, GET BETTER THEN TAKE OVER EARTH! BUT HAVE FUN THE WHOLE TIME
3d               
10,137
7,235
Mouse Slap✨ @MouseSlap
@DisneyHipsters the beauty of podcasting; no matter how much you suck you can still keep recording! Oh oh ho Ho!! pic.twitter.com/ttfGYay5jx
3d in reply to DisneyHipsters               
4
Kyle Lippert @Kyle_Lippert
The opposite of Alfred Hitchcock is Batman Divorcepussy.
3d               
672
298
Gary Janetti @GaryJanetti
"Did you notice he was totally holding in his stomach?" - Jesus' gay friend
3d               
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122
can you not @sassytbh
“you shouldn’t be walking alone at this time of night”

no

actually

people shouldn’t fucking attack other people at any time of day
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1,387
Wil Wheaton @wilw
"From First to Fifth, With One Blue Shell: My Mario Kart Adventure" - by Wil Wheaton.
4d               
698
262
ThingsWhiteFolksLike @Things4WhitePpl
Hating that gold digging skank Jenny from the movie Forrest Gump
4d               
2,065
994
Lou Mearngello @mearn
That's not even an exaggeration, it's 14 to 7 based on the Wikipedia list
4d               
1
Lou Mearngello @mearn
There have been twice as many Greatest Hits CCR albums as there were CCR studio albums
4d               
4
1
Zimmer @z1mm3r
IT'S RECORD STORE DAY, IT'S RECORD STORE DAY, CHECK UNDER THE TREES ASAP.
4d               
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1
ScreenCraft @screencrafting
“Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.” ― Charles Bukowski
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Your Suburban Family @SuburbanFamiIy
do you ever get really motivated to do something and you get really excited about it and then when you get home you’re just like nah
4d               
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265
Julius Sharpe @juliussharpe
I think 80% of the reason women wear bikinis is to have an excuse to not be carrying any money.
4d               
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240
Men's Humor @MensHumor
How to get a woman mad... pic.twitter.com/grIOneBV4z
4d               
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1,801
God @TheTweetOfGod
Death is a lifetime achievement award.
4d               
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1,623
Puns @omgthatspunny
pic.twitter.com/of0fcvKU0f
4d               
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no @tbhnoonecares
I think it's sexy when someone can handle my smart ass mouth and attitude instead of leaving like a little bitch
4d               
1,713
1,294
Lou Mearngello @mearn
Whose Line is incredible, it's rare for me to literally laugh out loud at any TV show but I've done so multiple times just in the first game
4d               
6
can you not @sassytbh
this whole show was on drugs pic.twitter.com/DVUJYhQGTN
4d               
2,179
1,258
Darth Vader @DepressedDarth
No matter how bad life gets, the force will be with you always.
4d               
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476
The Batman @BatmanOfNight
BECAUSE SOMETIMES YOU JUST NEED HOT WINGS, ALFRED. THAT’S WHY!
4d               
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28
Lou Mearngello @mearn
It's Friday night, time for a Bruce Springsteen cover of Van Halen youtu.be/_fG8W3gmc0U
4d               
2
The Guy @theguydf
Every time you eat at the Olive Garden someone's Italian grandmother dies.
4d               
62
26
Rob Fee @robfee
“Oh…uh, hey Jesse…” -Rick Springfield
4d               
957
555
Community @nbccommunity
Dennis Hopper is dead.
TV shows get no time for theme songs anymore.
Woody Allen did the voice of a cartoon ant.
#Community
4d               
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149
Megan Amram @meganamram
I can never tell the difference between your/you're/Asians
4d               
1,337
506
Ed Lee @smedlee
I don't get why I have to go to this rehearsal dinner I'm literally an expert at dinner
4d               
61
8
OhNoSheTwitnt @OhNoSheTwitnt
"Everything looks worse in black and white." -Paul Simon, choosing an Instagram filter
4d               
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9
Progress City @ProgressCityUSA
#metaphor pic.twitter.com/I1X4L8BVET
4d               
7
2
Your Suburban Family @SuburbanFamiIy
a haiku about mario kart

are you kidding me
who the fuck threw that red shell
i will fuck you up
4d               
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122
Mark Marusich @NoticablyBacon
Baby showers are silly, you're the parent wash your own kid.
4d               
35
10
Progress City @ProgressCityUSA
IT STILL WORKS pic.twitter.com/i1NRMNB6S9
4d               
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3
HighSchoolConfession @HSConfessionaI
"My boyfriend asked me where he should cum and I said anywhere. Didn't think he'd get me right in the eye... #Blind" -Sir Winston Churchill
4d               
677
120
Brandon Gutermuth @UNTRESOR
Mrs Doubtfire 2: 2 False 2 Dubious
4d               
84
18
John Kleckner @Hejibits
Trying out a new restaurant before it has any Yelp reviews. When I die I want to be remembered as a hero
4d               
11
6
Brooklyn College @BklynCollege411
Annie Baker '09 M.F.A. has been awarded the #PulitzerPrize for drama. Bravo Ms. Baker! tinyurl.com/mnhsyrc
4d               
2
1
The Batman @BatmanOfNight
Why yes, I do have Shark Repellent. It’s called MY FISTS.
4d               
18
24
Julius Sharpe @juliussharpe
"If you like Google Glass, also try Bing Chewables."
4d               
542
306
Julius Sharpe @juliussharpe
Google Glass, for everyone who's ever thought, "I like that browser so much, I want it on MY FACE"
4d               
281
163
Men's Humor @MensHumor
Well, that's oddly specific. pic.twitter.com/6hgobeCONH
5d               
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885
Community @nbccommunity
Greendale SAVED! What'd you think of the #Community Season 5 finale? #SaveGreendale
5d               
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61
Community @nbccommunity
That's canon! #SaveGreendale pic.twitter.com/6daKeRvKVs
5d               
440
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Robert Punchur @RobertPunchur
#tbt to a year ago today when an academic site paid me to research and write about #poop! sparknotes.com/mindhut/2013/0…
5d               
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ThingsWhiteFolksLike @Things4WhitePpl
Pirates
5d               
370
306
Lorissa Deetzz ⚓ @LorissaMaslow
@AnthonyMustache they're from nickelodeon lol yes I'm a child at heart haha
5d in reply to AnthonyMustache               
1
Common White Girl @TypicalWhite
literally me pic.twitter.com/Lyy1nghqV1
5d               
347
233
Simpsons Quotes @Simpsons_tweets
"This year, give her English muffins." Whatever you say, Mr. Billboard! pic.twitter.com/n6yXyoT8kv
5d               
81
97
Mr. Bright Side @danny_el_twin
We get it, you smoke everyday. No one gives a fuck
5d               
1
Gillian Jacobs @GillianJacobs
🎶Every little thing she does is magic/Every little thing I do is wrong.🎶 A fun song I sing to myself.
5d               
193
61
Parks and Recreation @parksandrecnbc
His Majesty Ron cannot contain his excitement for tonight’s new episode. #ParksandRec pic.twitter.com/0JGiJOKOuy
5d               
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109
Darth Vader @DepressedDarth
This week on Extreme Makeover pic.twitter.com/fPu8U27TiY
6d               
535
645
Disney Hipsters @DisneyHipsters
Two years into the second reign of the Orange Bird at Sunshine Tree…is he being a good leader? Yes. Tiki Tankard for the win...
6d               
4
2
Lance+Jeff @LanceAndJeff
Can we have a Muppets Most Wanted/Orange Is The New Black crossover where Tina Fey's Nadya becomes the new warden of Litchfield?
6d               
6
4
Drew Carey @DrewFromTV
Exactly! #DWTS RT @emitoms: What's the point of being alive if you don't at least try to do something remarkable?
6d               
40
12
John Fugelsang @JohnFugelsang
The invention of Velcro didn't prove humans were getting smarter, it just proved that tying laces was too hard.
6d               
26
39
Colin's Girl @MakingAMochrie
Colin: 'We'll be right back to our porno medical drama - Fifty Shades of Grey's Anatomy - in just a second!'

#wliia #GreatestHits
6d               
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Ron Swanson @Sir_Ron_Swanson
I believe luck is a concept invented by the weak to explain their failures.
6d               
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no @tbhnoonecares
I think “dildo” is a perfectly acceptable insult. Like, I’d call you a dick but you’re not real enough.
6d               
1,503
1,046
Gary Janetti @GaryJanetti
Cancer, huh? That sucks. So what else is going on?
6d               
174
24
Blog it All Night @blogitallnight
Backstreets.com: But if Dreams Came True, Oh, Wouldn't That Be Nice? fb.me/1oLVxNNKv
6d               
4
3
OhNoSheTwitnt @OhNoSheTwitnt
My coworker took the last of the coffee and didn't make more so I whispered "All men must die" as he walked out and I think he heard me.
7d               
107
22
Disney•Pixar @DisneyPixar
A new day, a new puzzle. pic.twitter.com/69Fngl1o5E
7d               
1,003
813
Rex Huppke @RexHuppke
Next on Fox News: Is Obamacare causing people on Obamacare to go crazy and say they like Obamacare? Yes. Yes it is. And it must be stopped.
7d               
37
7
OhNoSheTwitnt @OhNoSheTwitnt
I've been at the office for almost 3 hours and my phone is still at 95% battery life because I'm working so hard. Putting that on my résumé.
7d               
116
23
Puns @omgthatspunny
pic.twitter.com/Q2w2Pni7I5
7d               
3,469
3,045
Ellen Page @EllenPage
PMS totally #cramps my style.
7d               
3,559
1,679
Chris Regan @ChrisRRegan
Heard "haiku poet" on radio complain NYC writing community "not very supportive." How much support do you need to come up w/ 17 syllables?
7d               
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4
Alec Sulkin @thesulk
I guarantee my relatives cut in line on Ellis Island.
7d               
328
98
BOSS TALK @_BOSS_TALK_
I think Courtney Love is just playin the name dropping attention whore game.
I hope Bruce had a funny reply tonight.
7d               
10
5
Olivia Tallent @oliviatallent
Dad's award is right in the middle of our dining room table... pic.twitter.com/2FbbYBlqHf
7d               
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18
John Fugelsang @JohnFugelsang
I'd like to apologize to the entire particle physics convention for mispronouncing exotic hadrons as exotic hardons.
7d               
53
34
Zeph Davis @Zeph_Davis
"The legend that a Greendale computer professor made love to a computer and died of the first computer virus? Sure." haha love @nbccommunity
7d               
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21
Anjeanette Carter @anjeanettec
I just got my blood moon. :/
7d               
47
4
The Weather Channel @weatherchannel
Seriously, winter – it's not us, it's you. We have to move on.
7d               
392
698
OhNoSheTwitnt @OhNoSheTwitnt
I haven't been able to even since I was in my early 20's.
8d               
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41
Brandon Gutermuth @UNTRESOR
I'm actually flying @USAirways on Thursday and if we don't fly into a vagina I'm going to be super pissed.
8d               
164
21
Doge @DogeTheDog
How Wow
Very not Friday
Much Tuesday
Doge much wise pic.twitter.com/7tHnI2Yy4h
8d               
611
644
Warren Holstein @WarrenHolstein
Can I claim loss of the will to live as a deduction?
8d               
64
32
OhNoSheTwitnt @OhNoSheTwitnt
Ironically my Egyptian coworker is the only one who likes my Passover jokes.
8d               
117
22
OhNoSheTwitnt @OhNoSheTwitnt
Kind of feel like a fraud celebrating the freedom of my Jewish ancestors by sitting in a cubicle.
8d               
57
10
Bruce Springsteen @TheBoss_Songs
"The kids down there are either dancin or hooked up in a scuffle
Dressed in snakeskin suits packed with Detroit muscle."
#EStreetShuffle
8d               
8
5
Team Thunder Road @TeamThunderRoad
Getting ready to head to COLUMBUS in the snow! We will be live tweeting the set as service allows. #BRUCEESTREET
8d               
5
2
OhNoSheTwitnt @OhNoSheTwitnt
My cover of the Britney Spears hit "I'm a Slave 4 U" didn't go over well at the Passover Seder despite how topical it was.
8d               
87
25
Tom Morello @tmorello
@heyjer: @tmorello favorite album artwork of all time from any artist?” Clash London calling, KISS Destroyer
8d in reply to heyjer               
58
20
Mind Blowing Facts @urmindblown
Coolio did a stage dive in 2009 and the audience beat him and stole his shoes.
8d               
290
242
Lou Mearngello @mearn
i'm used to watching people troll companies on Twitter, not the other way around
8d               
9
Men's Humor @MensHumor
It’s amazing how long you can hold your farts at the beginning of a relationship.
8d               
1,712
1,146
#AMillionWays @AMillionWays
Old West cooking tip: shit will always be an ingredient no matter how hard you try. #AMillionWays
8d               
158
89
Didem Yilmaz @didem_62
She screams at the band "Do you know any Bruce Springsteen?!"
8d               
1
Mark Marusich @NoticablyBacon
"The difference between my jokes and someone with a good body is that you dont have to sleep with me to get my jokes"-Me cockblocking myself
8d               
14
3
Gary Janetti @GaryJanetti
Most of life is waiting for whatever you're at to be over.
8d               
433
273
brian kiley @kileynoodles
Good news, that 9 month old baby in Pakistan was cleared of all murder charges. I knew he’d walk eventually.
8d               
35
25
James Hilger @photojames
The best rides also hint at a larger world. Unexplored turns in Indy. Countless hallways and doors of Mansion. etc.
8d               
7
3
Mara Wilson @MaraWritesStuff
Dear stores,
PUT YOUR HOURS ON YOUR WEBSITE.
Love, Mara
8d               
258
97
Gary Janetti @GaryJanetti
CNN reports a Florida woman was dragged from her garage by bears. In their defense the bears were on spring break and totally fucked up.
8d               
270
149
Bill Mc7 @BillMc7
Daddy, where do airplanes come from? Well, son, when an airplane and a woman love each other very much...
8d               
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25
Dan Schneider @DanWarp
This week marks the 20 YR ANNIVERSARY of All That's premiere in 1994! To celebrate #AllThat20Years week, I'll be posting NEW PICS every day!
8d               
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97
Rex Huppke @RexHuppke
"Well, you see, son, sometimes when a toy airplane and a woman love each other very much..."

Thanks for nothing, US Airways.
8d               
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Red Forman @RedFormanParody
When my time comes, I wanna be buried face down. So anyone who doesn't like me, can kiss my ass
8d               
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Community @nbccommunity
TOMATO
#Community
8d               
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55
Simpsons Quotes @Simpsons_tweets
Marge, how could you let me let myself go like this?
- Me? I'm not the one who puts butter in your coffee. pic.twitter.com/VNIFM9Ytrm
8d               
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211
Alicia Troiani @aliciaa_marieee
Don't want to go to work
8d               
1
1
Betty F*ckin' White @BettyFckinWhite
I'm starting to think Jay Z doesn't actually have 99 problems.
8d               
40
47
Simpsons Quotes @Simpsons_tweets
Oh, I see! Then I guess everything's wrapped up in a neat little package! pic.twitter.com/O1tQvsoMTC
8d               
133
109
Megan Amram @meganamram
So awkward - today's the ONE day i forgot to smear my doorpost with lamb's blood
8d               
1,022
525
no @tbhjuststop
another childhood tv star.. 😔 pic.twitter.com/oh2rcmQyn5
8d               
6,839
5,837
OhNoSheTwitnt @OhNoSheTwitnt
Brodors before Hodors
8d               
139
58
Mark Marusich @NoticablyBacon
I switched churches because i found a church that gives out free pizza on Thursdays.... I literally sold my soul for pizza
8d               
40
9
God @TheTweetOfGod
The next time I create mankind I'll conduct an environmental impact study first.
9d               
3,269
4,399
Colin's Girl @MakingAMochrie
'Just discovered the meaning of life. Dictionaries are so helpful.' #ColinMochrie
9d               
2
College Student @ColIegeStudent
My excuse for when I'm late to class pic.twitter.com/MVBfKy9Qq1
9d               
3,869
4,578
OhNoSheTwitnt @OhNoSheTwitnt
My favorite part of Twitter is when nobody can take a fucking joke.
9d               
101
18
Michael Scaramuzzo @mpscaramuzzo
Woke up with Tom Petty music stuck in my head this morning.
9d               
1
Chase Mitchell @ChaseMit
Joffrey Baratheon was one of our worst Republican presidents.
9d               
1,228
1,210
OhNoSheTwitnt @OhNoSheTwitnt
I'm 31 which is dead in dog years.
9d               
235
38
OhNoSheTwitnt @OhNoSheTwitnt
My boss scheduled a meeting for 7:45 AM. That's it. That's the entire joke.
9d               
110
12
Mike @mike_palmieri
No school means the easiest commute ever.
9d               
2
OhNoSheTwitnt @OhNoSheTwitnt
Sometimes I forget why I go to work at all but then I remember money.
9d               
56
24
Blog it All Night @blogitallnight
@AnthonyMustache I thought it was very good. Exceeded my expectations
9d in reply to AnthonyMustache               
1
The Simpsons @TheSimpsons
"Your father & I are going to try and make it work again... like a classic rockband whose hold-out member finally needs money." #thesimpsons
9d               
58
51
The Simpsons @TheSimpsons
Bart: Hey what did I do?
Marge: Nothing... for 30 years! You're perfect for each other!
#thesimpsons
9d               
52
22
The Simpsons @TheSimpsons
How many @HomerJSimpsons does it take to make toast? #thesimpsons pic.twitter.com/ZHq8Qqze2O
9d               
117
83
Anonymous @YourAnonNews
Every day this week days is gonna be the same backwards:

4/13/14
4/14/14
4/15/14
4/16/14
4/17/14
4/18/14
4/19/14
9d               
2,283
4,897
Blog it All Night @blogitallnight
American Beauty and Mary Mary so far. They sounded great! American Beauty sounded like Frankie Fell in Love and Mary Mary like Leah.
9d               
4
2
Mind Blowing Facts @urmindblown
JFK ordered over 1,000 Cuban cigars for personal use right before he made them illegal.
9d               
308
143
EPCOT Explorer @EPCOTExplorer
The Great Movie Trailer Ride #DisneyATickets
9d               
9
1
Lou Mearngello @mearn
I still find it crazy that the Traveling Wilburys happened
9d               
4
Robert Walsh @BDRobWalsh
Sometimes it's worth it to do really stupid things.
9d               
4
On This Day In Film @onthisdayinfilm
13 Apr 1964, the 36th Academy Awards, Sidney Poitier became the first black person to win a Best Actor Oscar #TCMFF pic.twitter.com/zBDtT8Xf7F
9d               
21
22
Progress City @ProgressCityUSA
I wonder what the weirdest thing they found when they drained the moat was
9d               
8
MattyTalks @mattytalks
"History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce" pic.twitter.com/mNT5i2Md68
9d               
50
5
Drew Carey @DrewFromTV
Hmmmm ;) #DWTS RT @TV_Exposed: Timeline of Walt Disney Animated Movies. pic.twitter.com/SUdPgng9KJ
9d               
42
27
ScreenCrush @screencrushnews
Harrison Ford doing what he does best during his Reddit AMA: pic.twitter.com/rwUbDToMDC
9d               
86
124
Billy Crystal @BillyCrystal
Raised 1mil for Ali Parkinson Cntr in Phoenix with RDeniro and JTorre
last night. Great friends to help a great man.
9d               
178
46
Disney @Disney
"Anything for you, Mary Poppins. You're our favorite person." pic.twitter.com/7AkrLarfaF
9d               
1,968
1,038
Simpsons Quotes @Simpsons_tweets
Don't be alarmed Apu. Just go about your daily routine like I'm not wearing the hat. pic.twitter.com/xuhZLv3bCe
9d               
143
149
Mara Wilson @MaraWritesStuff
Just assume no one on the internet understands sarcasm or has your brilliant, nuanced sense of humor, OK?
9d in reply to MaraWritesStuff               
169
82
Mara Wilson @MaraWritesStuff
Hey teens! Don't say something online A) that could be taken as a threat, or B) you wouldn't want your grandma or a future employer to see.
9d               
164
118
Just Jackie, I guess @brkgnews
In light of the stellar work on #cosmos, I've decided to give Epcot to @neiltyson and @SethMacFarlane. You may pick it up at your leisure.
9d               
8
3
Colin's Girl @MakingAMochrie
Colin: 'Our top story today: a national study shows that balding men make the best lovers.' #wliia #weirdnewscasters
9d               
1
Joan Rivers @Joan_Rivers
Michael Jackson has a new album coming, five years after his death. The first single is “Man in the Mausoleum.”
9d               
478
342
Dates in Movies @DatesInMovies
Apr 13th 1994 - 20 years ago @BenAffleck's Shannon Hamilton screwed Tricia Jones in an uncomfortable place in @ThatKevinSmith's #Mallrats
10d               
410
403
MattyTalks @mattytalks
"Is this the club?" ~ last words of a baby seal
10d               
89
15
Zzzzzzzzz @ZacharyKatz1
Why must I be so awkward
10d               
3
1
ABFoundation @ABFalecbaldwin
A HARD DAYS NIGHT.

The film that served as the crucible for our modern take on stardom.
@thebeatles
@tcmfilmfest
10d               
58
22
kaitlyn wojcik @KadyWojo
Anthony is the best. #Anthony instagram.com/p/mtyvAORuaG/
10d               
1
Ron Swanson @Sir_Ron_Swanson
Son, don't try to understand women. Women understand women and they hate each other.
10d               
458
520
Keating Thomas @keatingthomas
Girls who say they're a hot mess are usually giving themselves too much credit on the first part.
10d               
30
10
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