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ImageNameLocationTwitter sinceLinks
Emmett Morrison2009-06-16
@EmmettMorrison1,893 days
i have a serious 'tude — gratitude
FollowersFollowingTweetsListsFavorites
1,9489061,8102111,674
We found 194 favorite tweets.
Stacey Ann McLean @StaceyAnnMcLean
pic.twitter.com/1vMDqaBsqx
40m               
1
Cloudypianos @cloudypianos
If neither of us is married by the time we're 40 let's still order a 4-tier cake.
2h               
25
7
Catch Adams @owlparliament
I am gonna buy so many weird snacks in america!!!!
4h               
19
Cloudypianos @cloudypianos
The year's 2160. All human thumbs have evolved into bony sticks, long and nimble, to accurately text friends and Instagram pizza.
4h               
22
4
☠ lil helly ☠ @hell_doe
@EmmettMorrison <3 <3 <3
5h in reply to EmmettMorrison               
1
Susan Burke @ThatSusanBurke
Today felt like it lasted a lifetime (network movie).
5h               
5
Ted Travelstead @trumpetcake
What's worse, urinating on someone's trampoline or installing a miniature trampoline in someone's toilet?
5h               
98
12
Jeffrey Cranor @happierman
I don't walk to work. I dressage.
6h               
37
13
Jeffrey Cranor @happierman
Need a penny, eat a penny; Have a penny, eat that penny too. Eat a bunch of pennies.
6h               
95
57
House of TARG @HouseofTarg
@chrissyshannon: @HouseofTarg @UkrainiaBand @ArboretumFest Ukrainia is unreal to see live, just saying...” True story! #awesome #polkaparty
6h in reply to chrissyshannon               
2
1
Seafoam Circle Skirt @archetypecast
is that a gun in your mouth or are you just happy to see me
6h               
4
1
Seafoam Circle Skirt @archetypecast
i don't think i'll let myself be a witness to anything that cheapens my existence today
6h               
14
3
hope cantwell @hopiecan
What's my option? Get fucked, chase 23% less paper?
6h               
11
2
kennedy compound @fluvox
same pic.twitter.com/0ryDCFUFT3
6h               
15
3
a.h. @allyhoffmann_
I am singing some songs here at The Milestone tonight. Come n listen to me wail if you wish. pic.twitter.com/s6g2armfJ7
7h               
3
lil heck yea @rebeccaheckyea
But... my anaconda do.
7h               
8
3
gimme illiterature @glintofstars
I wrote this pic.twitter.com/IRRuW0yOo1
7h               
5
Dani Tauber @DRAINPIPEEE
Potions class aka studying up for an interview at a tea bar. pic.twitter.com/Nld6DuDpar
12h               
1
YWIR @YWIR
I'm a swamp of vengeance.
12h               
6
3
Jon Daly @jondaly
Shout out to people who dress like they're from another time - Amish, Hasidim, Mennonites, etc. You're fashion backward, but weird forward.
14h               
37
6
Colin Quinn @iamcolinquinn
.@sethmeyers Comes out in a beautiful tux. You like this? Armani is the best! Tom Ford sneaks up behind him and does Ice bucket challenge!
18h               
28
5
Colin Quinn @iamcolinquinn
.@sethmeyers All these devices nobody even watches t.v.'s anymore! Heck,I watched Game of Thrones on my watch, Madmen on my class ring!
18h               
84
26
Colin Quinn @iamcolinquinn
.@sethmeyers Then the great show, "Parks and Recreation". And the discovery channel which I call "Sharks and Repetition".
18h               
37
8
☾lil ☾weedy ☾ @darth__mouth
MTV true life: i'm raising a hater
1d               
72
9
jon hendren @fart
if i can come up with “pretending traffic cone is a huge dick” in only like 35sec just imagine what road worker guys have figured out by now
1d               
175
25
Colin Quinn @iamcolinquinn
.@sethmeyers I just saw the cast of Ray Donovan. They asked me if I paacked my caa in Havad Yaad!!
1d               
42
10
marc maron @marcmaron
GO WATCH @eddiepepitone's SPECIAL, 'IN RUINS', ON @netflix! NOW! PLEASE, PEOPLE! (to be read in eddie's voice)
1d               
146
45
Justin A. Lincoln @RobotNerve
.@TVsAndyDaly why do I think #DonDiMello is behind this? pic.twitter.com/tmUgPQMGHS
1d               
127
13
Mark Leggett @markleggett
It's a lot of fun when you get a new Twitter follower who replies to every tweet you do because they think your timeline is their inbox.
1d               
76
6
Noelle Stevenson @Gingerhazing
save this image to text back for the next time you get an unsolicited dick pic: pic.twitter.com/Ilx8ryYBKM
1d               
5,226
3,833
Löwenäffchen @Lowenaffchen
Wil Wheaton is well known for voicing Chewbacca[12][13] and for playing the guy who says "bazinga" on the hit TV sitcom "Bazinga"[14][15]
1d               
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11
Cannonball Press @Cannonballpress
Good morning. It's now possible to purchase a woodcut print in honor of your recent breakfast. goo.gl/mQXI3O pic.twitter.com/A2ahuBrDcw
1d               
3
2
yuna @yunawinter
some teachers probably cant pass their own tests - zen koan i just made up
1d               
4
yuna @yunawinter
i was a florist for years and have been living in constant fear
1d in reply to yunawinter               
3
1
gimme illiterature @glintofstars
you'd think the term "skinny" would mean having lots of skin but the answer may surprise you
2d               
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4
victoria @theblowout
you look grape today pic.twitter.com/oKC62MWhbo
2d               
68
23
George Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace
Shout out to the Montagues. The Capulets were some bullshit.
2d               
205
107
Christina Cola @poprocksandCola
second day in a row I've heard a car blasting "California Love" outside my window. Its obviously a sign that I'm going to grow up to be 2Pac
2d               
2
@damni13
Riverdale Park pic.twitter.com/1hN3jORamS
2d               
4
Tom Papa @tompapa
My funny friend, the hilarious @eddiepepitone has a new special on Netflix. Eddie Pepitone: In Ruins. Watch and make your life better.
2d               
22
10
Joseph Fink @PlanetofFinks
We just got an email from someone complaining that Carlos "should have a hint of a latin accent". That someone is a big ol' asshole.
2d               
294
70
kentuckyprophet @kentuckyprophet
I saw a headline that said "Gene Simmons sorry". I think they meant to title it "Gene Simmons pathetic".
2d               
46
12
near_rhymes @near_rhymes
whate'er
2d               
9
4
Paul F. Tompkins @PFTompkins
Look, I'd love to enjoy videos of adorable pets & babies, but the regional accents of the people people behind the cameras disgust me.
2d               
214
66
cool dad @rahtzee
sometimes when i've totally lost faith in the world i remind myself that three 6 mafia won an oscar
2d               
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36
near_rhymes @near_rhymes
I meant to retort, "who owns the shadows?" but you vanished into the bright light
2d               
4
1
Ozzy Osbourne @OzzyOsbourne
I like like I'm in The Shining pic.twitter.com/8Q1DFe1rlj
2d               
1,290
652
Jasmine Ramos @jasminealeja
in honor of Andy sambergs birthday I'm watching hot rod because favorite movie 😍
3d               
2
George Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace
What the hell are spectator sports? Are there sports that aren't spectator sports, where you're not allowed to spectate and so forth?
3d               
118
52
nobody @atragedyoflove
look what @EmmettMorrison said about you @ClaireForlani isn't that so great? i hope you remember your password soon. pic.twitter.com/37KEvyDLEi
3d in reply to atragedyoflove               
1
1
nobody @atragedyoflove
@ClaireForlani you are our favorite. we want you to be in all the movies. it would be the best. @EmmettMorrison
3d in reply to ClaireForlani               
2
1
hope cantwell @hopiecan
I left all my kids at Trader Joe's
4d               
30
5
House of TARG @HouseofTarg
@PamelaTourigny: Hey @HouseofTarg my husband and I tried and loved your #vegan perogies!” Awesome!! Thank you!! #missionaccomplished
4d in reply to PamelaTourigny               
4
1
gimme illiterature @glintofstars
I'm trying to think up something to tweet on my break.....so...... the kinks are playing. and I'm on my break.....
4d               
5
YWIR @YWIR
Why is my caveman so mesmerized by the cats and yet so very terrified of the dogs?
4d               
4
nobody @atragedyoflove
@EmmettMorrison @SeaWorld !!!!!
4d in reply to EmmettMorrison               
1
1
Emmett Morrison @EmmettMorrison
.@SeaWorld go hump traffic
4d               
7
a.h. @allyhoffmann_
@EmmettMorrison wind, I hope you have a catchers mitt.
4d in reply to EmmettMorrison               
1
nobody @atragedyoflove
or maybe u can just try to be the person u want to be. maybe instead of reading this: stop & write yrself a letter to figure out who that is
4d               
7
Mods Of Today @modsoftoday
@MoonsOfficial: LONDON: Get tickets to THE MOONS at Bush Hall Sep 24 London.
stereoposter.com/events/25267
RETWEET” Oh yes boys! We will review
4d in reply to MoonsOfficial               
4
2
Mods Of Today @modsoftoday
Win a Mod Ring!
Click the link to enter seventyseventyone.co.uk/pages/win-a-mo…
#mod #giveaway #jewellery pic.twitter.com/slqDQy9aYc
4d               
5
3
yuna @yunawinter
bengay on my legs brings none of the boys to the yard
4d               
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The Moons @MoonsOfficial
LONDON: Get tickets to THE MOONS at Bush Hall Sep 24 London.
stereoposter.com/events/25267
RETWEET
4d               
3
5
Jas Nasty @jasnasty
DJing tonight at 11-12 & a bit later w @EmmettMorrison @ModOttawa @BabylonOttawa #OFFBEAT instagram.com/p/rx98twJf8i/
5d               
4
2
beanlay @beanleey
Let's shoot X-rays into outer space
5d               
2
Momo @momopface
They are just calling sharks Jaws. This is how things like Loch Ness and Bigfoot start. And I'm perfectly ok with this.
5d               
17
7
b @rebeccacollinzz
pic.twitter.com/f1yveB40rl
5d               
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a.h. @allyhoffmann_
@EmmettMorrison Thriller teas are manageable. it's the Sleeper time tea ya gotta be cautious of.
5d in reply to allyhoffmann_               
1
a.h. @allyhoffmann_
@EmmettMorrison 👏👏👏
5d in reply to EmmettMorrison               
1
An Ornery Horse @horselythighs
what are the best karaoke songs for "totally killing the vibe"?
5d               
4
lil heck yea @rebeccaheckyea
I've come for the jokes
5d               
3
lil heck yea @rebeccaheckyea
who's got jokes
5d               
5
1
House of TARG @HouseofTarg
Dinner service at TARG is packed on this rainy Saturday and the games are getting a serious workout!!… instagram.com/p/rx3O88Bs6Y/
5d               
1
moody monday @mdob11
Men are like buses. I don't get them at all and I think this one's on fire.
5d               
572
222
a.h. @allyhoffmann_
@EmmettMorrison you won't see this daredevil blowing on her tea before sipping it, no way.
5d in reply to EmmettMorrison               
1
1
a.h. @allyhoffmann_
@EmmettMorrison tea time with Knievel
5d in reply to EmmettMorrison               
1
1
Wendy Molyneux @WendyMolyneux
We did it! #bobsburgers @ Nokia Theatre L.A. LIVE instagram.com/p/rxzYruDfla/
5d               
55
4
Sophia Benoit @1followernodad
Eating meatless corn dogs off of basically a frisbee. When you're ready come and get it na na na na na pic.twitter.com/3GB62Jkyke
5d               
32
1
Babylon @BabylonOttawa
Tonight- @thequeermafia presents the #Offbeat BIG GAY DANCEPARTY! instagram.com/p/rxtihsJk5j/
5d               
3
2
Laura Palmer @LauraPalmer198
Just saw this on the 80's Underground FB page. Brilliant. pic.twitter.com/rmRjXmV4rT
5d               
21
12
Welcome to Dot! @WelcomeToDot
TIL: Boston 20-somethings like country music a little too much. I need an explainer.
5d               
3
1
mallory blair @yourpalmal
Have spent past several hours in a dark hardware store: best day of my life
5d               
3
kennedy compound @fluvox
I bought a knife just incase I'm in the woods and need to kill something, like myself
5d               
13
2
Cat Pineapple @catpineapple
Born To Care
5d               
5
Cat Pineapple @catpineapple
Someone said to me, think about people you know who dont give a shit about what anyone thinks of them, and I said YEAH THEY ARE ALL ASSHOLES
5d               
7
mallory blair @yourpalmal
At hardware store trying to match paint color to 1977 Instagram filter. 💕
5d               
4
Bill Hicks @Bill_Hicks_RIP
The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love, instead, see all of us as one.
5d               
34
55
Sophia Benoit @1followernodad
Did we ever find out what the hell IS on Joeys head?
5d               
5
3
hope cantwell @hopiecan
1. I wanted an evil brunette twin
2. I had an inexplicable crush on Larry Hagman
3. I wanted to live in a bottle
4. I was chill w/ midriff
5d               
27
4
hope cantwell @hopiecan
When I was li'l I wanted to grow up to be Jeannie from I Dream of Jeannie and I have no idea wh--WAIT I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THAT SAYS ABOUT ME
5d               
16
3
thequeermafia @thequeermafia
@BabylonOttawa looking ready for tonight! Hope you are :) instagram.com/p/rxLXQYOIdk/
5d in reply to BabylonOttawa               
1
1
nik @nikkilowery
No muse is good muse.
5d               
14
2
Colin Quinn @iamcolinquinn
JL: Have you ever worked with Scorsese. CQ: (laughs) Haha, sore subject, James. Do not want to go there, haha. (Students laugh and applaud)
5d               
73
8
thequeermafia @thequeermafia
#offbeat #biggaydanceparty tonight @BabylonOttawa #queer #ottawa #happypride #capitalpride #partytime #thequeermafia pic.twitter.com/9jyLGGmMv5
5d               
2
3
Seafoam Circle Skirt @archetypecast
i see you waging petty wars against yourself & i wonder why, when you know the cost & know how quickly they escalate & do irrevocable damage
5d               
43
12
Bobbie Oliver @thebobbieoliver
If I hate men, why are so many men who know me personally defending me? I love men. I hate abusive trolls
5d               
19
Susan Burke @ThatSusanBurke
Right now my cats look like a husband and wife from the olden times. pic.twitter.com/HEmzQy9Xv1
6d               
40
8
MaryPatterson Broome @MaryPattersonB
Being exceptionally white but wonderful at the En Vogue concert w/ faves @amywitry @AmberTozer & @TheDaniStew pic.twitter.com/9bLxkK1qxZ
6d               
13
3
Betty Ford Dropout @ManicMinxy
New band.
It's called, "I am Groot"
6d               
3
cloudybones @cloudybones
It's just half an integer away.
6d               
21
6
PaperWash© @PaperWash
[Accidentally flicks cigarette in beer can]
WTF...
[Drinks it anyways]
6d               
47
6
yuna @yunawinter
mom wants to bring the deformed fruit to market she "doesn't want to hide them from the world anymore"
6d               
2
1
hope cantwell @hopiecan
Is it too late in the day for a sunrise sacrifice?
6d               
8
2
Ted Travelstead @trumpetcake
Superchunkin' with the awesome @superchunk!!! pic.twitter.com/F9UuLEPBu9
6d               
30
yuna @yunawinter
arguing abt the color of a moth on my leg (bb blue/ligt green)
6d               
2
Cat Pineapple @catpineapple
Current mood/location pic.twitter.com/m4urvQDHtx
6d               
14
2
anna van @annkica
My gecko sleeps curled up in a ball like a cat, i thought you should know
6d               
1
mae eli @MegtheMountain
no amount of happy beaver can make this ok pic.twitter.com/e6CXT7lB24
6d               
1
ottawapinball @ottawapinball
Exclusive pre-sale tickets on sale now @HouseofTarg. We're also giving away a weekend pass every day!… instagram.com/p/rvysdNoLIK/
6d               
2
2
a.h. @allyhoffmann_
it isn't the rush of remembering it's just...rust.
6d               
3
loise dwyer @SPACELOSERS
it's the dream team pic.twitter.com/LmrZGLiALL
6d               
12
5
laura lou @tvwhipped
PLEASE RENEW @PlayingHouseUSA @USA_Network. We need comedy goddesses @lennonparham @Jessica_StClair for at least ten seasons. #PlayingHouse
6d               
23
18
a.h. @allyhoffmann_
"@Punknews Jawbreaker's 24 Hour Revenge Therapy being reissued pnkn.ws/1rBT1JF"
6d               
3
eddie pepitone @eddiepepitone
My first comedy special has arrived on @netflix !! Its called "Eddie Pepitone - In Ruins" directed by @sfeinartz #InRuins
6d               
100
60
a.h. @allyhoffmann_
kitchen recordings, living room recordings, a child's piano on the porch. since i can remember, always this: fill the whole house with music
6d               
7
WomanAgainstFeminism @NoToFeminism
I don’t need fesimism i think it’s good when old men have control over my reproductive rights they do such a great job with everything else
6d               
1,493
1,420
Colin Quinn @iamcolinquinn
Take it from me I'm not trying to be a jerk but you're doing life all wrong. You guys are walking around with your heads up ur u know whats!
6d               
43
13
eddie pepitone @eddiepepitone
My special In Ruins is up on Netflix!!! pic.twitter.com/uKoWbxCLAa
6d               
127
66
Aparna Nancherla @aparnapkin
A walks into a bar & the bartender's like "why the long space"
7d               
2,006
973
ᴅᴏʟʟᴀʀ @callmedollar
I don't know her, but I love her. pic.twitter.com/kHCsX2LpRb
7d               
3,947
4,095
Casey Malloy @caseymayyy
Not sure why I haven't listened to @JenKirkman podcasts before today but holy shit they're my new favorite things 😍
7d               
17
3
dan guterman @danguterman
ENDLESS FUN: Buy two parrots. Teach one to squawk "that's what she said" and the other to repeat the Hindenburg radio broadcast.
7d               
56
15
kurt braunohler @kurtbraunohler
Excited to announce I'm doing a late-night pilot with @ComedyCentral "Getting' Some Strange with Kurt Braunohler" deadline.com/2014/08/kurt-b…
7d               
142
29
brian kiley @kileynoodles
Right now the 3 most dangerous professions in America are firefighter, coal miner and the guy at the carnival who guesses people's weight.
7d               
9
6
a.h. @allyhoffmann_
I SLEEP ON MY BACK CAUSE ITS GOOD FOR MY SPINE AND COFFIN REHEARSAL
7d               
7
Laraine Newman @larainenewman
I didn't see it from the beginning. Can't believe I never saw it before. So funny!
7d               
1
first time slammer @olhnso
"The Purge is real. Its a mix of badass and scary and it's as real as the day is long. Get ready for it Aug 31 12am" - Obama via @WhiteHouse
7d               
7
1
Christine @2loony1
I posted "Fuck Disney!" and lost all my friends on Facebook.
8d               
44
20
Laraine Newman @larainenewman
I'm learning that there's twetquette or I guess it could be twitequette. Nah. The last one doesn't sound good.
8d               
4
Laraine Newman @larainenewman
White flag stunt on Brooklyn Bridge by German "artists" who claim "ceremonial folding" as their defense. That's just Teutonic OCD.
8d               
3
1
Ted Travelstead @trumpetcake
Seriously, stop refrigerating these foods!

Ice
Pancake
Candy necklace
"Alice" butter
Mandarin Oanje
Moat fish
Partially cooked aple
norf
8d               
128
21
nice_mustard @nice_mustard
check it out i found a pic of those three shitlords who trolled zelda williams pic.twitter.com/O6tJsW2fZK
8d               
45
6
Jon Daly @jondaly
I'm the captain nooooooooow! - Captain Philips the Musical
9d               
112
34
Ristolable @Ristolable
Can we start an east coast west coast Twitter war. I think that would be the best. Let me start: the west coast is bad at Twitter
9d               
353
85
Stacey Ann McLean @StaceyAnnMcLean
Do you think it's condescending to pet a werewolf?
9d               
6
3
Laraine Newman @larainenewman
This is my very first tweet on the tweet machine. I don't quite understand the concept behind the # and I just noticed I'm almost out of let
9d               
25
11
a randle in the wind @randlechris
hey guys, gavin mcinnes here with another politically incorrect column pic.twitter.com/viyQgWhjIl
9d               
1,137
536
thequeermafia @thequeermafia
Coming up this Saturday!!! #offbeat Big gay dance party @BabylonOttawa with @EmmettMorrison #jasnastyinstagram.com/p/rmy1GiuIZZ/
9d               
2
2
nobody @atragedyoflove
@EmmettMorrison guess people are not so scared
10d in reply to EmmettMorrison               
1
AliCat @foreverfreejoy
@EmmettMorrison gimme that toot toot now gimme that beep beep
10d in reply to EmmettMorrison               
2
1
Seafoam Circle Skirt @archetypecast
books are the only home i've ever known, but you could be the exception
10d               
99
46
nobody @atragedyoflove
girl with ingrown wings & a mouth like a bee sting
11d               
7
nobody @atragedyoflove
about me: into you like a train by the psychedelic furs
11d               
6
nobody @atragedyoflove
i still weep for you, clarence
11d               
6
nobody @atragedyoflove
stop trying to get me to kill myself, sarah mclachlan
11d               
8
KDub @WEAGLEMAN
@EmmettMorrison @loriofmontreal
The 'I-don't-care-ier pigeon'. Nice.
11d in reply to EmmettMorrison               
2
nobody @atragedyoflove
@EmmettMorrison pic.twitter.com/j72WU3jjww
11d in reply to EmmettMorrison               
4
1
Mimi Beardsley @gichild
Got to see that fucking stud @JimNorton tonight. Against his advice I'm tweeting about it.
12d               
5
PaperWash© @PaperWash
Me, the entire time at a Tweet Up pic.twitter.com/Q3to1MZMXO
12d               
51
10
Seafoam Circle Skirt @archetypecast
so much dramatic irony, so little self-awareness
12d               
27
11
Seafoam Circle Skirt @archetypecast
she stuffed towels in the cracks of the doors and taped the windows shut to keep the loneliness out
12d               
38
10
Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan
"ass-copi" -- me doing to picasso's name what he does to people's faces
12d               
18
5
Lore @lorearask
Unfollow everything that exists.
12d               
7
3
Chris Regan @ChrisRRegan
Don't ever sit down on the sidewalk in front of a convenience store. You will never come back from that.
12d               
35
8
kat lake @kat_ratmaze
What men say: blah blah blah blah blah blah

What women hear: honk honk honk honk honk honk
12d               
56
25
ei8htball @ei8htballUK
Mazzy Star - Fade Into You (Jools Holland 1994) youtu.be/S8QOaaoiT9U
12d               
6
1
gimme illiterature @glintofstars
Just posted a photo @ Seattle, Washington instagram.com/p/reBw4SoXNn/
13d               
1
harriet @lqpharriet
@thewordy go stick yr magic dick in a cauldron then buddy
13d in reply to thewordy               
4
Caitlin Nau @NauCaitlin
Moonrise Kingdom instagram.com/p/rd_jkAKM6o/
13d               
1
QueenTreeBoner @Amelia_Draws
Reasons my town thinks I am odd.
I sit by the road in slippers with my phone
They've mostly accepted it. pic.twitter.com/sYLwXJtrik
13d               
20
2
yuna @yunawinter
my professors would give the first day lecture speech about how "the onus is on us to learn" and every time i would laugh at the word onus
13d               
2
Anthony @butterwolf
You were only in the sequels, and that's what makes you... the real substitute. Good night. pic.twitter.com/mKDSQeUVC9
13d               
9
1
Steph @stefhowie
whats is that in the tree? it looks like some kind of bird??
13d               
2
Cloudypianos @cloudypianos
I don't take too much offense when I start playing violin and my dog hides under the bed bc she also hates the bear bell and vacuum cleaner.
13d               
12
nobody @atragedyoflove
@youareinvisible i love it when you wrap yourself in gold tinsel & photograph it pic.twitter.com/nfJIolGUNx
13d in reply to youareinvisible               
2
We are the M♂ds! @ModsRadio
NEW We are the Mods Episode 41- A Fist Full of Dollar$, our #NorthernSoul special is HERE: goo.gl/XwNpY8 pic.twitter.com/5ysLFwslzv
13d               
4
3
Seafoam Circle Skirt @archetypecast
a thing about me is, if i express something to you directly, it is sincere & i will also tell you explicitly if i want you or i love you
13d               
32
4
Seafoam Circle Skirt @archetypecast
p.s. you saved my life
13d               
31
8
Michael @Home_Halfway
By a show of Hans, how many of you are Norwegian
14d               
437
143
Carrot Facts @RealCarrotFacts
Im thinking of a vegable guess what one? (It is carrot)
15d               
2,244
1,751
Stacey Ann McLean @StaceyAnnMcLean
pic.twitter.com/TeV7x5UBUy
16d               
1
Cloudypianos @cloudypianos
idk what to do today, maybe I'll watch bob's burgers and eat a burger and call my dad bob
16d               
17
2
Maria Popova @brainpicker
Did I mention how much I adore the new Jenny Lewis record, The Voyager? Oh yes I do j.mp/1o3iayc
18d               
47
11
Deborah Brooks @dlbrooks1966
@nilslofgren can I get good luck RT? unemp teacher for over a yr, interview tomorrow! TX!
18d in reply to nilslofgren               
9
4
Colby or is it @MissColbyTaylor
My favorite thing is when boys tell me I am difficult pic.twitter.com/ZpdlaKGlcm
18d               
4
Seafoam Circle Skirt @archetypecast
let me show you trees that sing, birds that fruit & flower, oceans that soar, & stars that hunt in packs; let me show you love
18d               
44
15
something something @6thgrade4ever
most of the good qualities I have as a person are duplicated if not exceeded by kenmore appliances
18d               
7
RichTapestryHomieK_1 @HiK_Bye
Training your dog like "Be on brand. Good dog!"
18d               
9
Jeff Goldblum @KaseyGriffin
The thing that pisses me off the most about Olive Garden is that it's logo is grapes not olives.
18d               
12
1
Dana Carvey @danacarvey
Why do people say"lucky devil"? Do you have to be devilish to be lucky? No one says "unlucky angel". Does luck have nefarious underpinnings?
18d               
485
181
Laura Palmer @LauraPalmer198
My dad is telling me about the Lloyd Cole albums he bought cuz he's cooler than your dad
18d               
4
harriet @lqpharriet
Can't decide what kind of music video these guys belong in instagram.com/p/rQalmWusgY/
18d               
1
HuffPost Religion @HuffPostRelig
“All human nature vigorously resists grace because grace changes us and the change is painful.” ― Flannery O’Connor died today 50 years ago
18d               
73
98
mark leidner @markleidner
necessity is the _____ of invention
• bae
• bro
• lebron
• gaza
• khaleesi
• vape
• fedora
• selfie
• mother
• all of the above
18d               
60
12
Stacey Ann McLean @StaceyAnnMcLean
pic.twitter.com/F9SvqJYdk2
18d               
3
1
Mark Little @markmarklittle
1. Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes
2. Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes
3. Beginning Of The Planet Of The Apes?
4. Planet Of The Apes Pt. 1?
18d               
143
67
Nils Lofgren @nilslofgren
Road trip. @azsweetheart013 at the wheel. Great storm. @grammymuseum here we come. pic.twitter.com/2bj8MfUOIg
18d               
90
8
plain eyre @thewordy
imagine being the person in the store who chooses unflavored hummus when roasted red pepper is RIGHT there. r u ok. is this a cry 4 help???
18d               
76
11
☠ lil helly ☠ @hell_doe
this could have been us but you were playing with me 💔 pic.twitter.com/LzNrYHk4qo
18d               
31
5
Babylon @BabylonOttawa
TONIGHT: Let's have tons of fun at Mod Club Ottawa and celebrate the fact that there is no work tomorrow. Doors... fb.me/1x0946bEC
18d               
1
Stacey Ann McLean @StaceyAnnMcLean
pic.twitter.com/WlScdnCa5O
18d               
1
Laura Palmer @LauraPalmer198
You know you're an old lady when people offer you a seat on the bus. Unless you're in Hamilton, where everyone's rude as fuck.
18d               
7
1
Billy Logan @Billy_Logan
Temples - Colours to Life #osheaga2014 #fav #festivalfav vine.co/v/M9ewmQvOhWM
18d               
1
plain eyre @thewordy
the magic of twitter is how somebody u know only as lemons_butt or gooeyooey97 says something that makes u think for days
18d               
132
28
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