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Unfortunately, after 5 years of providing you with Twitter data, we were now informed by Twitter that Twopcharts is suspended from interacting with the Twitter API for violating the Twitter Terms of Service. At this moment we do not know if and when this situation will be remedied, but for the moment we cannot provide you with data and analytics from Twitter.

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You can check up to the last 200 tweets that are favorited by any unprotected Twitter user.
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ImageNameLocationTwitter sinceLinks
VinoKelowna/Edmonton2011-02-12
@bamvion1,326 days
Workin on my short game.
FollowersFollowingTweetsListsFavorites
7837622,9473454
We found 196 favorite tweets.
Heather Marginet @margih99
The exciting thing is that the Oilers have legitimate NHL prospects or NHL players at every position.
1d               
2
2
Leslie Brooks @Leslie_Annie
How many Rice Crispy Treats are too many? (Please don't say 22)
5d               
169
58
Alannah Davis @alannahdavis
@Darbys_In_Kits don't encourage people to come to your patio to wait for an HOUR for their food. #yourkitchensucks
15d in reply to Darbys_In_Kits               
3
Nicole Detling, PhD @HeadStrongDoc
In the end, u won't remember the time u spent working in the office or mowing the lawn. Climb that damn mountain! pic.twitter.com/YDGYKkWqUP
44d               
6
2
AmishPornStar @AmishPornStar1
Remember back in the day when we used to take Polaroids of our food and mail them to all of our friends?
45d               
189
138
SportsCenter @SportsCenter
When asked to compare herself to major leaguers, Mo'Ne Davis shows she has style all her own. es.pn/1pRJf6S pic.twitter.com/FmGaSOGnDJ
45d               
17,533
13,933
ShitMySommelierSays @ShitMySommSays
Q. What is short, round with lots of tannin?
A. Snooki from the Jersey Shore.
47d               
11
7
@sshole In Charge @heavyoilcountry
Stats so fancy
U dont even know
Im trackin Corsi
From LA to Toronto
Stats so fancy
U dont understand them so
Remember Jims name
Bout to blow
47d               
1
Парведж @TwoAbysses
Drove behind a slow, crappy old truck with the license plate "HOE HOE" today. Caught myself muttering "move it, hoe." I was set up :(
62d               
3
Jerry Aulenbach @ZoomJer
Fender bender, tripped the alarm off during a showing, and just got fired. I think I need some ice cream.
62d               
3
1
Cecily MacLeod @cecilymacleod
Funny thing happened on my way to South Sask yesterday.
Yadda, yadda yadda...
Aaand now I'm still in Toon Town, pouring another rum.
65d               
31
6
Chef Paul Shufelt @ChefPaulShufelt
Lady I don't care what you think, it's never appropriate to go to Walmart in your Superman pj's
65d               
4
3
Krista G @Kage_99
Tonight is my wine night

Cheers friends! 🍷
66d               
17
1
Kim Grant @Kimmm_G
I know I'm not as popular as most of the #yeg twitter folks, but one day I hope to be cool enough to hang out with you all! 😊
67d               
5
NatHan Solo @UrMommysHouse
Playing 50/50 in the #CFL is currently more profitable than playing football in the CFL.
#Eskimos
67d               
4
4
Bing Bing @smurfetteB
I'll stare you back down until you look away
68d               
11
4
Tony P. @Tbone7219
I love when my boss is on vacation because I can drive the forklift to the bar for lunch instead of driving my car.
69d               
149
81
Bing Bing @smurfetteB
Goodnight world. Goodnight moon.
70d               
3
kristi @kristiisrad
will be crushin' some sushi tonight. it's been far too long.
72d               
2
1
Dan Bilzerian @DanBilzerian
My PR asshole will not ruin our fun pic.twitter.com/71S7akopEz
74d               
22,578
18,328
Chris @onume_
Iggy Azalea sounds like a white alien trying to sound black.
75d               
70
38
@sshole In Charge @heavyoilcountry
I don't fuckin get this team. 2013, 89 gets his face smashed in while RNH on the mend, stop-gap? Hall/Arco. 2014, 89 traded & ZERO stop-gaps
76d               
1
Kim @saysyrahsirah
hahahaha!! my co workers are hilarious!! pic.twitter.com/9BBujE8CRT
77d               
2
Danika @neekers_92
Just want some poutine.
78d               
6
Darth Vader @DepressedDarth
Star Wars lightsabers pic.twitter.com/mCXOcM7s8g
83d               
1,119
754
Rusty @ZombieRusty
"I will listen to you before I jump to conclusions and get pissed off."

Said no woman ever.
86d               
7
8
Sue Miller @RicardosMed
My home. My sanctuary. Kalamalka Lake in the Okanagan is pure beauty and it will transform you the moment you enter. pic.twitter.com/wJgBbfqzXJ
87d               
4
2
Pretty @Pretty__G
@_AGuyNamedKris AND SHE SHOWED ME HER BOOBIES AND I LIKE THEM TOO
87d in reply to _AGuyNamedKris               
2
Kris @_AGuyNamedKris
Foosball is the devil
87d               
3
1
The Andy Babic @TheAndyBabic
Take that stupid @DamoSpin
87d               
1
1
Jerry Aulenbach @ZoomJer
July the 4th be with you. #failedstarwarsjokes
88d               
2
2
Shane Palmer @shaney_palmzzz
Claude grabbed the sheriff, but he did not grab the deputy!
88d               
12
13
Josh @iwearaonesie
I'm just a boy, standing in the shower, trying to eat his ice cream before it melts
wife: seriously why would you bring that in here?
89d               
111
44
Chris Robison @randomhero79
STOP FUCKING YELLING
89d               
1
1
Josh @iwearaonesie
"you're such an asshole."

- my wife when I throw stuff out of the car, like the cup of coffee she asked me to hold
90d               
122
60
Josh @iwearaonesie
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN THE DEFINITION OF "EASY OPEN" TO THE PEOPLE WHO PACKAGE STRING CHEESE?
90d               
151
76
Ryan Dittrick @ryandittrick
Once a Bolt, always a Bolt.
92d               
45
40
Calm Like a Bomb @stilettophile
Cheech: Hey man, Am I driving okay
Chong: I think we're parked
94d               
13
5
Bob o Rama™ @Flinstone777
Dear overhanded fork guy at the restaurant. Really?
94d               
2
1
Karl Welzein @DadBoner
Woke up on the kitchen floor 'round 3am. Pitch dark. Smashed my guy veggies into an open drawer Dave musta left open. Lazy idiot.
94d               
85
44
Heather Middleton @midsart
Just picked up my badge for the Whyte Ave Art Walk...16 days left until the fun begins! #yegartwalk @oldstrathcona @ThePaintSpot @YEGArtWalk
96d               
2
3
Natasa M @Natasa84
Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango?
105d               
3
1
Chris Donnan @donnan18
@bamvion self proclaimed #1 son
106d in reply to bamvion               
1
Chef Paul Shufelt @ChefPaulShufelt
I just got a $250 fine for jaywalking. Jaywalking. Are you f*cking kidding me @CityofEdmonton ? My mom taught me to look both ways. Thanks.
108d               
3
2
Calm Like a Bomb @stilettophile
I'm really not sure what your tweet meant but it did make me want falafel
114d               
20
2
TURN DOWN FOR WATT @trevorwatt
MAJOR LEAGUE IS ON NETFLIX AHHH
120d               
1
Kris @_AGuyNamedKris
LA, don't be Saad.
120d               
1
1
Pint Edmonton @pintedmonton
You want the Hawks and Kings? We've got the Hawks and Kings. #BobColeRules #yeg
122d               
1
2
@sshole In Charge @heavyoilcountry
THEY WON! WE WON SOMETHING HOCKEY RELATED THATS IMPORTANT EDMONTON
127d               
7
4
Kris @_AGuyNamedKris
YOU GET AN OVERTIME AND YOU GET AN OVERTIME AND YOU GET AN OVERTIME AND EVERYBODY GETS AN OVERTIME!
129d               
4
3
Hayl @haykshan
Some girls should be forbidden to wear yoga pants.
I just saw a camel toe that looked like a Queen sized mattress folded in half.
133d               
591
342
Heather Middleton @midsart
Just finished another painting! #onaroll pic.twitter.com/r38Pay9885
140d               
2
1
The Fake ESPN @TheFakeESPN
Vince Young apologizes to Costco manager for quitting by driving forklift through Charmin Ultra display, asks if he can have his job back.
140d               
173
214
Kim @saysyrahsirah
when some one says " for me, personally" ... #bugsme seems redundant somehow?
152d               
2
Summer Rials @SummerRials1028
Sooooo excited about the @Saints schedule!! 👍❤️🏈bit.ly/1igH4Cs #geauxsaints
158d               
103
46
TURN DOWN FOR WATT @trevorwatt
@bamvion he’s just the regular ambassador, you’re adding the word rap hahha. Besides, it would obviously be the used
160d in reply to bamvion               
1
Gärrett Fäylor @G_Faylor
@bamvion: Like who would be the rap ambassador for the Utah Jazz?” Easy. Deez gurlz. pic.twitter.com/xRVun0NmuY
160d               
2
2
Squirrel Thug Gang @Mikecanrant
You know, you can just buy eggs at the store. Idiot kids.
162d               
56
13
RaDaR (Sex God) @seanmoriartyMV
A mustache ride so intense it starts hipster mating season a month early.
162d               
22
7
Hollapeño @MiniiG
Curiosity killed the cat is an expression that always left me with so many queries

How did it die?
Did anyone love it?
HOW much curiosity?
164d               
16
11
Hollapeño @MiniiG
Maybe one day I'll have a love strong enough for The Maury Show
164d               
22
8
Hollapeño @MiniiG
I thought Coachella was a new app for fitness trainers to get clients
166d               
11
5
Hollapeño @MiniiG
Nothing makes me want to jump off a cliff like working for 10 minutes straight
166d               
17
8
@sshole In Charge @heavyoilcountry
We built this Smytty on greasy goals
170d               
12
2
Jeff M @jrock71
A goal for #BabyNuge on his 21st Birthday. Chucky E Cheese is gonna be rowdie tonite!
170d               
1
Jazmasta @jazmasta
Hey I just met you, this is crazy, but here's my bus fare, thanks for being my bus driver.
170d               
294
78
Abe Yospe @Cheeseboy22
Sometimes, during the movie previews, I'll turn to the stranger sitting next to me and whisper, "We should really go see that together."
175d               
2,020
1,334
Engelbert Humpmydick @SpankMeIm0ty
FINALLY!! A plausible fucking answer to MH370 pic.twitter.com/BTvYwxrj9I
183d               
32
21
Lounge Fly @mrjohntofu
I can't wait to get freaky tonight, whatever the hell that means.
186d               
7
4
Dave @VodkaShorebird
If I had to call it, Nicki Minaj is probably my favorite Power Rangers villain.
186d               
100
56
Dave @VodkaShorebird
In all honesty the only thing I’m really good for is freaking out several times a day because I’ve moved my cellphone to a different place.
186d               
19
8
Lounge Fly @mrjohntofu
Slow down, it's a parking lot, bitch bag.

~ Daily driving comments
188d               
5
3
some chick @1aicats
Today can already shut up.
188d               
35
13
Shark Dick @megasharkpenis
Retweet this, and receive a box of crabs in the mail
188d               
48
31
some chick @1aicats
Ketchup on CHINESE FOOD!??

What a sick fuck.
188d               
29
5
some chick @1aicats
"You're literally a spoiled cunt."
188d               
9
2
Shark Dick @megasharkpenis
Table for 2 please.

Waiter: Yes sir. But... you are alone.

Me: TABLE FOR 2!

Waiter: Certainly sir.??!?

Me: *pulls hamster from pants*
189d               
90
54
Dave @VodkaShorebird
I once knew a Brock. Senior year of high school. He was literally everything you'd expect from a dude named Brock.
189d               
27
8
some chick @1aicats
If you're going to be an an asshole you better be fucking funny.
190d               
100
53
Lt. L.T. Deer @tinydinosaurs
my dog started wagging its tail when i started changing in front of him, so i am going to go to the other room to change. I don't need this
192d               
293
120
pakalu papito @pakalupapito
i do no lift bro i own gas station
193d               
942
1,236
The Drummy Abides... @CrashTestDrummy
Saw someone on Craigslist selling a s'mores maker.

Where I come from, we call that a fire.
194d               
330
169
some chick @1aicats
Weather. What an idiot.
194d               
19
4
Mindy @SubliminalMess
I'll eat my breakfast burrito on the treadmill. IDGAF! #gangsta
194d               
4
1
Squirrel Thug Gang @Mikecanrant
Money saving tip: Get that ripped jean look naturally by repeatedly wiping Dorito dust on your knees over a 5 year period.
194d               
90
33
Kris @_AGuyNamedKris
YOU GOTTA FIGHT! FOR YOUR RIGHT! TO SQUEEEEEEEEE-EEEEE!
195d               
4
2
Mindy @SubliminalMess
You say "potato", I say "shut the fuck up Mike! No one cares how you say potato you pretentious douche!".
195d               
7
1
Mindy @SubliminalMess
But it NEVER did stop snowing, and they wore moon boots and fluffy coats for the rest of their lives.
195d               
5
2
James Fischer @jfish96
Just booked yeg to phx return cheaper than a flight to kelowna or van. Canada in serious need of competition other than @AirCanada @WestJet
196d               
1
1
The Fake ESPN @TheFakeESPN
Jim Irsay arrested on suspicion of DWI. Cops say they first noticed he seemed drunk after he traded a 1st round pick for Trent Richardson.
196d               
607
1,088
bibowinebar @bibowinebar
gold star!!!
198d               
2
1
Mable Gertrude @MableGertrude
It's really rude to stab people if they don't deserve it.
198d               
133
73
Mable Gertrude @MableGertrude
Do you hear that?

That's the chicken dance song, calling...yearning...challenging you to throw down and get funky.
198d               
75
29
Kim @saysyrahsirah
Pimm's for noon hour .... why yes thank you! @NextActPub
198d               
2
1
Kris @_AGuyNamedKris
These Dairy Milk Oreo chocolate bars are majestic.. Like a unicorn made from bacon.
199d               
1
1
Abita Beer @TheAbitaBeer
Happy Pi Day. Let's get mathematical with it and see how many beers we can consume on this wonderful Friday evening.
199d               
21
18
Karl Welzein @DadBoner
Really lookin' forward to the St. Paddy's celebraish, you guys.
199d               
86
241
Pint Edmonton @pintedmonton
The weekend approaches... Time for "coffee" #Open
199d               
3
1
Tony P. @Tbone7219
There should be an iPhone app that makes caller ID more detailed like "John needs help moving" or "Your bitch ex-wife needs to complain."
199d               
187
146
Sugar & Spice @nice_sugar_girl
My ADHD drank a shit load of coffee.

*runs wild with the squirrels*
200d               
10
4
Jeanshorts #94 @JSBMjeanshorts
DP! DP! DP! DP! #DP4EVERYBODY
200d               
2
1
Ginny Jenny @ginny_jenny
YAAAAAAAY! Fuckin eh Perron!!!!
200d               
6
2
Inappropriate Charm @LackOfShame
Nothing freaks me out like realizing it's not a fart, and it's too late to change course
200d               
63
33
Dazzledginger @dazzledginger
*finally drinking a beer
201d               
50
9
Guy Incognito @ShutUpThatsWho
A family in Oregon had to call 911 after being held captive in their apartment by their pet cat. Now THAT'S being pussy whipped.
201d               
6
4
Dazzledginger @dazzledginger
VICTORY IS MINE!!!

*folds fitted sheet
202d               
189
85
Парведж @TwoAbysses
it's definitely time for new ink.
204d               
2
1
Josh @DamnitJosh
Evacuation plan:

Dunk head in toilet.
Flush repeatedly.
207d               
6
4
Captain's Log @howe007
Let's give up alcohol for Lent and see if we actually like each other.
207d               
35
17
Josh @DamnitJosh
ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWNNNN
208d               
5
1
keels @_keels_
Don't forget to prove to your family how important religion is to you by giving up Facebook for Lent.
208d               
57
25
Captain's Log @howe007
If Russia prepares for war the way it prepares for the Olympics then we have nothing to worry about.
208d               
121
82
Captain's Log @howe007
Something's rising and it ain't Jesus.
209d               
20
11
Dennis King @DKingBH
Just how big is the bag of heroin that John Garret and Jim Hughson will eventually share? #DeathOfANeverWasDynasty
209d               
4
4
Elaine L. @LaineyGossip
Tim Thomas and Roberto Luongo are on the same team now. Is that like Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie being in the same movie?
209d               
82
147
Rascal Gas @rascalgas
I just traded my lunch for a 5th-round draft pick!
209d               
1
2
It's Just Ali @TnucTew
Mardi Gras should be a Cdn holiday...It IS French...We'd spend the day drinking beer, eating bacon & ANYTHING with maple syrop... Oh... wait
209d               
4
2
Lolita @LittleeLauraaa
Hello, Mother Nature, yes I know something awful must have happened to turn you into a cold hearted bitch but it's about time you move on.
210d               
5
1
It's Just Ali @TnucTew
This rum tastes suspiciously like Coke
210d               
4
1
It's Just Ali @TnucTew
Okay ppl... I've taken all I can and I CAN'T takes no more!!!

YOUR=belonging to
YOU'RE=you are
YORE=old timey days

YOU'RE welcome!!
210d               
218
110
TURN DOWN FOR WATT @trevorwatt
Hey, guy doing bicep curls with his backpack on the train: calm down.
210d               
1
1
Sir Strange @Sir_Strange
Where's the app that takes Nickelback and Bieber away, and gives us Bradley and Kurt back?
210d               
77
52
Lame Dad @jergarl
She was like, you know I faked my orgasm last night to make you feel better and I was like really? Cuz I fake everything. Your move.
211d               
127
94
Sugar & Spice @nice_sugar_girl
Here I go again on my OWN!

*Air guitar*

What are you looking at?

(Me, drunk and slurring at my reflection in the mirror.)
211d               
5
2
Rizz @InnocentMarina6
The fluoride in the water is giving my son bitch Tittays...
211d               
16
5
Sugar & Spice @nice_sugar_girl
Yeah. I'm listening to Puff the Dragon alone in my office and crying if anyone wants to hang with a super fun person.
211d               
20
10
Rizz @InnocentMarina6
Why do all clothes from old navy look like I want to go sailing off the coast of cape cod?
211d               
16
12
Sir Strange @Sir_Strange
So, what happens when both Waffle Houses in town are slammed pack?

You get into an argument with your wife and go home with nothing.
212d               
83
38
Rizz @InnocentMarina6
Hakuna MaTa-Ta's is just a nice way of saying calm your tits
212d               
19
13
Rascal Gas @rascalgas
Tomorrow's Heritage Classic proves that the NHL isn't interested in the authentic atmosphere of outdoor games. They want to sell 50K tickets
212d               
3
3
Dean Murdoch @Dean_Murdoch
Just drinkin outside the Tim Horton's here, tellin chicks they can roll up my rim to win for free. So far no takers. #nightisyoung
212d               
454
413
Chef Paul Shufelt @ChefPaulShufelt
Go Habs Go! Did you see that beauty @chefcowan? Watch the highlights later #gohabsgo
212d               
2
Juddy @iAmJuddy
Go to a restaurant on a Saturday at 7pm and act mad when you don’t get a table right away so the world knows you’re a spoiled cunt. Fuck you
212d               
169
41
baggedmilk @jsbmbaggedmilk
Went to check the temperature and my weather app said "fuck it, just go back to bed" #yeg
213d               
1
1
Lounge Fly @mrjohntofu
I can tell you like me, by the way you threw that brick at my head.
213d               
13
8
kristi @kristiisrad
anyway, BEER CLUB TIME
213d               
1
1
Stats Canada @stats_canada
82% of Canada is indistinguishable from the ice planet Hoth
213d               
862
1,571
Lolita @LittleeLauraaa
Next time I throw up I hope it's all over someone I hate.
214d               
19
7
Sugar & Spice @nice_sugar_girl
Cotton candy. Sweet and low. Let me see that tootsie roll.

*Takes bite of Cheerios*

My breakfast routines are interesting.
214d               
2
1
Elz @xxEllyNotxx
I'll watch Clash of the Titans just to hear Liam Neeson say "Release the Kraken!" IDGAF
214d               
10
5
Camden's finest @anbrll00
Is it my Buick or the Marlboro reds that attracted you to me ?
214d               
39
22
Matt Frey @CyclesFrey
I hate Kessler, but if he came to the oilers... Id love him
215d               
2
2
PopSlapFunk @PopSlapFunk
Calm down, guy parked across four spots. Or do you and your Dodge Avenger require that much space for all the pussy you're attracting?
217d               
148
76
My Next Idea @leswhitmore
All I want my headstone to read:

Well..............shit.
217d               
58
37
IIya Bryzgalov @bryzgalov80
Bozak happy Kessel back from Russia. He excited to take Phil to Lego Movie.
218d               
27
29
Mickey Mt. Vernon @WhatevaConc
You are like the house that gives out raisins on Halloween of people.
219d               
204
121
Wake @Wakenbake77
I want to drink coffee in Australia, so I can say, will you pass the COFFEE-MATE.
219d               
583
343
Mickey Mt. Vernon @WhatevaConc
She had dandruff but not "shake her hair onto her picture during detention with a criminal, an athlete, a princess, and a brain" dandruff.
220d               
143
79
GoodRickHunting @Rick_IZ
No YOU cried watching figure skating!

I was watching Rocky while doing pushups, eating rare steak & shooting guns
221d               
58
23
My Next Idea @leswhitmore
I call this hairstyle, 'I didn't put on deodorant either.'
222d               
101
46
Karl Welzein @DadBoner
Had such a blast for 'Tine's Day weekend. Had a few real fine convos with some lonely 'Bee's babes. Nothin' carnal. My choice of course.
224d               
66
35
Lounge Fly @mrjohntofu
My life coach benched me.
225d               
22
15
Jon Sails @Sailsman777
Hey, I forgot... how long did the groundhog say it would be before these become the spring Olympics?
225d               
21
2
Sugar & Spice @nice_sugar_girl
*Rides into Whole Foods on a horse*
*Asks for carrots*
*Takes bite of carrot. Tips hat*
*Rides off into sunset*
225d               
19
9
Sugar & Spice @nice_sugar_girl
I can't honestly be expected to be mature in this situation, can I? pic.twitter.com/0lGWVSWDqr
225d               
105
34
nowaynope @funk62out
I am now dating my bartender's AM playlist.
226d               
5
1
Devin Skrumbellos @SKRUMBOOO
Snowing again!!!! Wow this shit is getting old!!!
226d               
8
4
Sugar & Spice @nice_sugar_girl
The scenery out my window includes my backyard's lovely shade of dog piss yellow.
226d               
9
4
Steve Suckington @SteveSuckington
I'll take your moms vagina for $100 Alex.

I'm sorry that's not a category Steve.

Category? What are you talking about Alex?
226d               
251
122
Josh @DamnitJosh
I have entirely too much shit to get done.. That's usually how I know it's the weekend.
226d               
10
2
Hudsons Canada's Pub @HudsonsPub
Shout out to the #Hudsons twitter followers today. You guys are seriously awesome, we love chit-chatting with you! Happy Saturday, ya'll.
226d               
6
1
sara @SomthinBoutSara
One man's trash is my new couch
226d               
516
216
nowaynope @funk62out
It's weathering outside again. Always with the weathering.
226d               
14
3
Cecily MacLeod @cecilymacleod
This morning thing just isn't working out for me. Time for a nap before I get cranky.
See you all at a more respectable hour, like 2pm-ish
226d               
36
7
Cecily MacLeod @cecilymacleod
*deletes drunk tweets*
Apparently I had a little too much fun last night. Been on for 20min & I'm out of stars.
Good morning twitterverse.
226d               
46
6
Nuclear Bavarian @NuclearBavarian
Thank God that day is over. Now I can get back to hating my wife.
226d               
18
5
Only Fast Eddie @OnlyFastEddie
*makes out with water fountain*
226d               
50
15
MaggieWilk @maggiewilk
Hey massive cockroach, how did you climb three stories and get into my bathtub? Not cool bro
227d               
2
1
Roc-NBC Sports Radio @NBCSportsRoc
Come on NBC you are better than that. At least our flag wasn't Russian. pic.twitter.com/yTcPGL6uZr
227d               
34
97
Lame Dad @jergarl
"The PEN IS mightier than the sword" is my favorite metaphor to use the wrong emphasis on the wrong syllables.

No YOU'RE thirteen.
227d               
126
86
sara @SomthinBoutSara
The pot and the kettle are really racist
227d               
345
185
Devin Skrumbellos @SKRUMBOOO
Should be against the law to work on weekends!!
227d               
6
5
sara @SomthinBoutSara
I'm sorry I couldn't stop sniffing your baby
227d               
157
53
Cecily MacLeod @cecilymacleod
Only about a month till St. Patrick's Day. Don't let the Irish have all the fun, start practicing now
*pours rum, adds green food colouring*
227d               
33
8
Krista G @Kage_99
Done and done people!

My grand total for @HairMassacureNA was $1665.00 raised!!! Thank you!

#NoHairDontCare pic.twitter.com/XadPhSRJ9U
227d               
262
46
mooyaini @mooyaini
She believed me when I said I'd been selected for the Mars One mission.
227d               
32
16
Only Fast Eddie @OnlyFastEddie
Where there's a will... there's someone who insists on calling him william.
227d               
97
44
Dennis King @DKingBH
I'd like to believe that anything wrong with Team Canada is Lowe's fault because, after all, Lowe does fuck up a lot of stuff
227d               
4
1
mooyaini @mooyaini
Fuck yes. pic.twitter.com/9vI7EFEVzW
227d               
23
1
nowaynope @funk62out
I am not day drunk.
These boots really are that slippery.
227d               
7
3
Only Fast Eddie @OnlyFastEddie
Love conquers all... except for herpes.
227d               
96
50
Lame Dad @jergarl
No YOU look like you slept on the pavement at a Denny's last night, Carol. Your hair looks stupid too, fuck you.
228d               
110
54
Lame Dad @jergarl
Last year for valentines day I pretended to give a fuck, this year I'm pretending not to.
228d               
64
31
Krista G @Kage_99
Water? No, no! pic.twitter.com/IJdOc84S9Z
228d               
11
2
Krista G @Kage_99
I am proud to say 'eh'!

Go Can-eh-da Go! 🍁
228d               
17
6
Queen RanDumb @InVisiHole
Unless that's a double shot of sleep in, dump it on your fucking lap.

That kind of morning.
229d               
16
3
Phoenix Ascends @Feniex17
I'm already sick of hearing Phil Kessel on my TV. #makeitstop
229d               
2
1
Gone Quixote @PaulGibson1963
My promotion in the family chain of command means I can now give orders to the thermostat. I still report to the dog though. For now.
229d               
172
74
nowaynope @funk62out
Brb, gotta go finish choking on this crouton.
229d               
7
3
Bob Cole @BobColeBaby
A good. Strong. Start. For Canada. In these Olympic Games. In Sochi. And they'll try to keep it goin. Tomorrow. Of course. In mens hockey.
229d               
12
19
nowaynope @funk62out
Not to brag but I got out of bed today. Not saying I'm not writing this in bed right now, but I did get out.
229d               
114
71
mooyaini @mooyaini
Apparently putting a note in the company suggestion box asking if the hot european babe can wear more mini skirts gets you a meeting with HR
229d               
26
8
CuntSmith @csmith5050
Guys, please listen closely to women on here about how to perform sexually, because you shouldn't turn down advice from a cat whisperer.
230d               
98
49
JD @JackieDee16
Anyone else wish that the Canadian women would just crush a USA player at centre ice? #BOOM
#IsItJustMe
230d               
9
3
Camden's finest @anbrll00
Dr: You have shingles
Me: You mean hot local shingles *winks*
Dr. This isn't twitter and you need a life
230d               
56
32
Flight 3MTA3 @ROTTYpc
I'm not saying you're a nerd but your sword collection says otherwise.
230d               
3
3
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