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ImageNameLocationTwitter sinceLinks
Twop TwipsHolywell, Northumberland2009-09-25
@TwopTwips1,666 days
Phone toptipstwitter@gmail.com. (If you're really bored you could also follow @Twips2)
FollowersFollowingTweetsListsFavorites
162,9371,84819,2472,590110
We found 100 favorite tweets.
Clare Newton @ClareNewton
@TwopTwips Mott The Hoople by locating a hoople and motting it.
3h in reply to TwopTwips               
1
H20_2011 @H20_2011
@TwopTwips CONVINCE your friends you run the Twop Twips account by ignoring anything they say or do. Ever.
4d in reply to TwopTwips               
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1
mostly grumpy @mostly_grumpy
@TwopTwips ANNOY people who take time to craft tweets by JUST FUCKING FAVOURITING IT.
43d in reply to TwopTwips               
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Paul Cook @Cookie030483
@TwopTwips Stuck for room in your downstairs toilet? pic.twitter.com/2FRc8Bq8Au
62d in reply to TwopTwips               
1
Lemonsqueezette @___alison
Feel better about followers who ★ and not RT by imagining they don't have brothers and sisters, so haven't learned how to share.
@TwopTwips
67d               
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Hayes Ben Thompson @HayesThompson
@TwopTwips People who favourite tweets instead of RTing them, why not just piss on people, instead?
76d in reply to TwopTwips               
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Beck @New_toon
Morning. Get your tissues ready for this cartooned @TwopTwips written by @petestrange. pic.twitter.com/OFxU2rsS1N
115d               
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Thuckster @Thuckster__
THE FAVOURITE button is a handy alternative to typing 'THIS CONVERSATION IS OVER' @TwopTwips
124d               
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GURU @BradBurton
@TwopTwips can I give a RARE UNSIGNED copy of my new #JustGotEasierBook as a twips compo or something? pic.twitter.com/J6QvG9sORW
125d in reply to TwopTwips               
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Phinky @CardinalPhink
Save yourself the bother of following @TwopTwips by just waiting for the best bits to be retweeted
137d               
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Rob @_RobC
@TwopTwips Want to get any tweet you post favourited? Simply reference The Lighthouse family.
139d in reply to TwopTwips               
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Adam Kay @amateuradam
@TwopTwips JOHN LEWIS. I think you meant *this*. youtube.com/watch?v=ro7KU_…
140d in reply to TwopTwips               
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James Manning @JamesManning4
My LOL-ridden list of the 30 funniest people on Twitter: fw.to/6T3Q3ZE
149d               
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Brandy Snap @Brandy_Snap
PETRIFIED of 'Trick or Treat'? It's still not too late to get your PaedoMasks©!!! #Halloween @TwopTwips pic.twitter.com/VsUQe77Kbh
168d               
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Beck @New_toon
Hello. This is not #myshitephoto but a belated birthday cartoon for @TwopTwips x pic.twitter.com/BF3fwwX7K8
177d               
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Beck @New_toon
Well @DirkHansom’s tweet for @TwopTwips didn’t need to be illustrated but I did it anyway because I love it! x pic.twitter.com/21sz0G2n2Q
192d               
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Nicolites E-Cigs @Nicolites_
@TwopTwips Yes, we have a lifetime warranty. Contact our Customer Service team on 0121 382 2285 (Option 2) to arrange replacements.
192d in reply to TwopTwips               
1
GURU @BradBurton
@TwopTwips how about a Twipcomp from your fav GURU for 3 copies of my new book I'll even sign & draw a cock in it pic.twitter.com/NrhJeKg6Ux
199d in reply to TwopTwips               
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Darren o Rourke @darrenor
@TwopTwips CREATE a Lego Mario Fellaini by getting a Lego man and putting a Lego tyre on his head. pic.twitter.com/mDTHU0Pp30
200d in reply to TwopTwips               
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Suman Biswas @amateursuman
@TwopTwips @_Enanem_ @IAmByronVincent Likewise, a spaghetti measurer can be used as a portable glory-hole for all comers.
205d in reply to TwopTwips               
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_ @_b_4
@TwopTwips Anyway, thanks. My tweets bring so much pleasure to so many people. I feel guilty when I'm not giving my public what they crave.
211d in reply to TwopTwips               
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Jeffw/J-F Cuvillier @Jeffwni
TRAIN as a mime artist the easy way, by locking yourself in a tiny glass box and dying the asphyxiating death you deserve @TwopTwips
218d               
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WaterstonesOxfordSt @WstonesOxfordSt
To find out your author name, simply take your first and last names, write a book, get it published and read the name on the cover.
221d               
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David Stokes @scottywrotem
@TwopTwips COUNCILS, deter the use of 'glory holes' in public conveniences by sticking this on either side of them. pic.twitter.com/RHW24MHxmb
224d in reply to TwopTwips               
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Bez @beztweets
COFFEE tins make ideal bins for used condoms. @TwopTwips pic.twitter.com/02kPFl2rQp
225d               
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Tom King @ItsTomKing
@TwopTwips DO YOU find it embarrassing buying sex toys from Ann Summers? Don't worry, pet shops have what you need. pic.twitter.com/S9iVlaXCph
240d in reply to TwopTwips               
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Lee Ogden @_leeogden
@ThePoke @JimboLoony tomorrow's Poke Challenge?? #HonestFilmPosters
241d in reply to ThePoke               
1
Hilary @Hilary_W
@TwopTwips A LEVEL PUPILS, save yourself lots of work by only studying 1 subject-Photoshop. These aren't hard to make pic.twitter.com/sSS8wkKDqZ
246d in reply to TwopTwips               
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Sara Nelson @SaraCNelson
@TwopTwips Hello! We've included you in the @HuffPostUK top 50 accounts to follow huff.to/17KJO6t
248d in reply to TwopTwips               
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Sali Berisha @SaliBerisha1
APP IDEA: App that turns your iPad screen into an electronic ashtray for your electronic cigarette @TwopTwips
274d               
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Tom Freethestones @freethestones
ENSURE your tweet gets favourited by tweeting about your tweets being or not being favourited. @TwopTwips
276d               
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Mary Harris @maryharristw
@TwopTwips TWIPS: Get over the humiliation of not having your twips retweeted by looking at the timeline while saying "mine are WAY better".
283d in reply to TwopTwips               
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Specchum @zxspecchum
@TwopTwips SAVE $50/year on the ad-free Flickr account, by simply browsing the site using Firefox with the Adblock Plus add-on installed.
300d in reply to TwopTwips               
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Ben Cameron @ben_cameron
Just about to post this to @andrewb1970 who had the 'top twip' (@TwopTwips) a wee while back . pic.twitter.com/2yN5mnA6z7
303d               
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Jon Jones @jonjones80
@AlecTomasso can't help it! My mind is full of stupid shit & it just pops out when it feels like it. #nocontrol
312d in reply to AlecTomasso               
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Top Of The Tweets @TopOf_TheTweets
@TwopTwips #TopOfTheTweets pic.twitter.com/wwtDFGgDjI
331d in reply to TwopTwips               
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Heidi Place @Bookend01
@MarionDowling @TwopTwips I did it! pic.twitter.com/2hzjnIo0s3
333d in reply to MarionDowling               
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ʙεαィnik ʙriαn @BeatnikBrian
Prevent the receipt of increasingly poor tweets by giving sincere consideration to unfollowing @TwopTwips
351d               
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Michael Ohajuru @michael1952
@TwopTwips This is how I see Google Glasses evolved from its original prototype in 2006...... pic.twitter.com/3lNoWXaAXE
351d in reply to TwopTwips               
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Jojubs @jojubs
@TwopTwips HOTEL GUESTS. Drown out next door's noisy coitus antics with these handy improvised ear defenders. pic.twitter.com/OvRLWmN95X
352d in reply to TwopTwips               
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Higgins Cartoons @higginscartoons
SEE SOME FANTASTIC TWOP TWIPS RIGHT NOW @TwopTwips Here's the cartoon of last weeks most RT Twop Twip by Miles Orru pic.twitter.com/99kG92ecBs
356d               
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Gordon @GJohnstone2
@AndreTheViking @TwopTwips I took a ping pong ball with me, popped it in my mouth. When the insertion happened, out popped the ball.
356d in reply to AndreTheViking               
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Amy @MissAmyFlon
If you too want to end up trapped under a chair, covered in shards of glass; try this. @TwopTwips pic.twitter.com/Lu2laUn4Ox
357d               
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Jon Hopkins @Jon_Hopkins_
Excited to reveal the first full length track from my new album, Immunity. soundcloud.com/jonhopkins/ope… - RT please / thanks x
366d               
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Prof. Bison Sexhorn @Brainmage
@TwopTwips Here are sixty sauxy sextips if you're keen? brainmage.co.uk/sixty-ways-to-…
366d in reply to TwopTwips               
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Twop Twips @TwopTwips
17 Top Tips For A Better Life buzzfeed.com/lukelewis/17-t… (via @lukelewis)
366d               
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Michael Spicer @MrMichaelSpicer
More job interview tips here: tmblr.co/Zblg8whj8YcU
367d               
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The Poke @ThePoke
'Nah, you're alright' (McDonald's advert remake).

thepoke.co.uk/2013/04/14/nah…
368d               
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Owyn & Co @OwynAndCo
@TwopTwips New comedy sketch! Directors Commentary from the 1977 B-Movie classic: Prisoner in the middle youtu.be/x9CcOVZiJkM Pls Rt!
379d in reply to TwopTwips               
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Twips2 @Twips2
CONVINCE your wife she's on Masterchef by giving her an hour to cook your tea then telling her exactly why you don't like it. @Cain_Unable
379d               
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Tim Readhead @TimReadhead
The world of Shitverts. Take a look at this McDonald's Ad remake I have made. youtu.be/6DpqiArsJG8 @charltonbrooker #Mcdonalds
380d               
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Juptin @Juptin
25 Astonishingly Useless Tips Found In Women's Magazines - bzfd.it/10dRH0s @TwopTwips
386d               
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Dean Eager @deaneager
@TwopTwips Just posted this review on Amazon amazon.co.uk/review/R3CVMLX…
405d in reply to TwopTwips               
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Jimbo Loony @JimboLoony
PLEASE take a moment to retweet and favourite this. Thank-you. ❤

#ForTheBabyJesus
#4EVAINAREHARTS pic.twitter.com/yCCLajf2gm
407d               
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Toby Tripp @Feelwelcome
@TwopTwips HOW to put away a DVD box set: youtu.be/fM2HFkd_yoI
411d in reply to TwopTwips               
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Stephen Eveleigh @seveleigh
@TwopTwips ANNOY your friends by clogging up their twitter feed with retweeted bullshit from TwopTips
411d in reply to TwopTwips               
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mr welbeck kane @400FootGhost
@RebecR Okay, a last one for today: Girl On Moon Delighted To Discover Milk-Well: twitpic.com/8zvy0v
417d in reply to RebecR               
1
The Poke @ThePoke
Goats yelling like humans. A compilation.

thepoke.co.uk/2013/02/14/goa…
427d               
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Owyn & Co @OwynAndCo
@TwopTwips New sketch day! Happy Kittens! youtu.be/ZPym3FnE1SM
450d in reply to TwopTwips               
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Juxtapose @Juxtaposin
@TwopTwips @ChribHibble Viz vs. Marsh juxtapo.se/KcO5Kn
452d in reply to TwopTwips               
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Twop Twips @TwopTwips
DOG OWNERS. Prevent your dog from trying to hump visitors' legs by simply wanking it off shortly before they arrive. (via @sfendle)
454d               
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Turtle Canyon Comedy @TurtleCanyonCom
@TwopTwips Get people to take the police seriously again by changing your sirens to a top sax solo: youtube.com/watch?v=PGCB1M…
463d in reply to TwopTwips               
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Ian Farr @_ianfarr
@markolver: The Holiday Inn really know how to ruin a party. pic.twitter.com/dEcfkBJQ@TwopTwips
480d               
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Russell Peake @russellpeake
@TwopTwips Increase your chances of getting a @TwopTwips RT by writing something hilarious that everyone on twitter can relate to
485d in reply to TwopTwips               
1
Sean Evans @AstroNomenov
@TwopTwips @barneyashworth NOT FUNNY. I've sent loaads of funnier ones and not got a 'publish'.
486d in reply to TwopTwips               
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AmielovesU @amiepamie
@TwopTwips Twippers, get @TwopTwips to RT you by being in some kind of clique
489d in reply to TwopTwips               
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Bethany @say_muah
@TwopTwips are you kidding me?
490d in reply to TwopTwips               
1
Gav O'Toole @ToolerG
MAKE people laugh at your shit gags by sending them to @TwopTwips and letting them do your dirty work
490d               
1
Graham Ford @gtford001
@TwopTwips avoid using any of my suggestions by simply ignoring my fucking tweets #oraremytipsjustshit
490d in reply to TwopTwips               
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Hilary @Hilary_W
@TwopTwips CAN'T decide what to get your 7 year old niece for Christmas? Howzabout this then: anorak.co.uk/wp-content/upl…
490d in reply to TwopTwips               
1
Gary @HelloImGary
That was me being clever, there.
491d               
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Gary @HelloImGary
Christ @TwopTwips has gone down hill of late. (It was already quite far down the hill)
491d in reply to TwopTwips               
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Gary @HelloImGary
This bar I'm in is full of pretentious cunts. Just heard a guy say "ooh, I'm inebriated"
491d               
1
Tom Burn @thomasburn
MAKE your own '3D artwork' by buying some cheap hats from a boot sale and sticking them to a wall (really). @TwopTwips pic.twitter.com/1qK9V8Ac
492d               
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Paul Groom @MrPaulGroom
@TwopTwips WORRIED about your behaviour when Santa Claus comes to town? Use this handy to do list. pic.twitter.com/S8XTdcbL
493d in reply to TwopTwips               
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Nick Tarry @LondonW12
@koopa1210 @TwopTwips He only retweets his regulars. I’ve been hilarious all year, and not a sausage. Totally bummed out about it 😪
494d in reply to koopa1210               
1
PlayMe @officialplayme
@TwopTwips CHRISTMAS ALBUM AIDS GREAT ORMOND STREET CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL! OUT NOW! SAVE THE CHILDREN! fb.me/1nFV6W90H
496d in reply to TwopTwips               
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Mask-arade @maskmaker
@TwopTwips happy to offer a full set of #OneDirection masks as a prize - can you set the competition? Link to mask-arade.com
499d in reply to TwopTwips               
1
gareth lawson @lawson1978
@TwopTwips fair enough wouldn't you say? Bog wall at work pic.twitter.com/pUZIxVya
499d in reply to TwopTwips               
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Roland Boothby @Lord_Boothby
Any find that @TwopTwips has got really shit lately? Used to be one of the finest twitters.
500d               
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Jonny Golder @Plug_of_Shire
@TwopTwips That's the shittest Twop Twip you've ever posted
502d in reply to TwopTwips               
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Run Geordie Run @rungeordierun
@TwopTwips I could always spare a Run Geordie Run t-shirt. Surely there'd be a flood of twips for that?
502d in reply to TwopTwips               
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Crooked Ways 2013 @crookedwaysuk
@TwopTwips we can offer you something money cannot buy. And at a discount too!
502d in reply to TwopTwips               
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Tim Mills @TopBoxTim
@TwopTwips - I'd gladly provide one of these as a prize for you. ebay.co.uk/itm/1307979489…
502d in reply to TwopTwips               
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Messer Best @MesserBest
@TwopTwips I will, through @ChristmasSanger,offer to send a #ChristmasSandwich to whoever does the best tweet. The sanger will be from Boots
502d in reply to TwopTwips               
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Q-Tizzle @QuebecTango
@TwopTwips What theme would you like for your xmas avi this year? :D
503d in reply to TwopTwips               
1
Jojubs @jojubs
@TwopTwips TWOPTWIPS. If you fancy a quiet week why not offer a copy of Piers Morgan's autobiography as a prize for best Twip?
506d in reply to TwopTwips               
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Ⓢⓘⓜⓞⓝ @Mirthematician
A great way of using up spare MBs of your data bundle each month is fruitlessly tweeting @TwopTwips

:p
508d               
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Stephen Dallas @stephendallas
@TwopTwips Easily construct a TwopTwip by rearranging the words in a wryly comedic observational sentence.
510d in reply to TwopTwips               
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alien online @alienonline
@TwopTwips Top tips for the clinically insane... facebook.com/photo.php?fbid…
523d in reply to TwopTwips               
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David Stokes @scottywrotem
#DisappointingMovies WALL-E. pic.twitter.com/K7k9MhDV
530d               
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1
Kelly Osgood @Osgood29
@TwopTwips BE completely ignored by TwopTwips by being funny.
532d in reply to TwopTwips               
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Peter Hicks @poggs
COLD-CALLERS: Ensure all calls have three seconds of silence at the start so I can hang up quickly and efficiently. // cc @TwopTwips
534d               
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Twop Twips @TwopTwips
GOTHS. Take advantage of tonight’s full moon by doing a spot of moonbathing to top up your moontan. (via @DalaiLama)
535d               
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BuxtonGooner @buxtongooner
@TwopTwips @cluedont yfrog.com/hswr3wnj
539d in reply to TwopTwips               
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Brandy Snap @Brandy_Snap
Additions to Peperami range ad campaign that they had to pull… #PokeAdverts @ThePoke twitpic.com/b5hnsm
545d               
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Cunty McBollocksface @TheMasterBrewer
This is what @TwopTwips thinks The King of The Internet looks like pic.twitter.com/bto8ufsz
548d               
1
Moose Allain @MooseAllain
Enter a cafe. Ask to see the menu. Say, Have you got anything a mouse would like? When they say No, whisper into your sleeve & leave.
724d               
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Will Millinship @willmill82
@TwopTwips HEALTH CONSCIOUS SCOTS. Skip some calories, but none of the taste, simply by putting that Mars Bar in a George Foreman grill.
935d in reply to TwopTwips               
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Rusty McGee @RustyMcGee
@TwopTwips as requested. yfrog.com/mmgmvmrj
953d in reply to TwopTwips               
1
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