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Favorite Tweets on TwitterWhile we are making some adjustments, we expect to be back online soon!

Unfortunately, after 5 years of providing you with Twitter data, we were now informed by Twitter that Twopcharts is suspended from interacting with the Twitter API for violating the Twitter Terms of Service. At this moment we do not know if and when this situation will be remedied, but for the moment we cannot provide you with data and analytics from Twitter.

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You can check up to the last 200 tweets that are favorited by any unprotected Twitter user.
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ImageNameLocationTwitter sinceLinks
Krissy Bushon a tailgate, under the stars2006-04-04
@krissy3,093 days
Mother, daughter, sister, aunty, friend.
FollowersFollowingTweetsListsFavorites
267,5374032,652448658
We found 196 favorite tweets.
dick costolo @dickc
@goldman working my way through a giant bag of Doritos. I'll catch up with you later.
4d in reply to goldman               
1,411
631
Estria @estria
Tah-dau! pic.twitter.com/GXUAv0STup
12d               
11
2
Ash @me_ashman
@Reverend_Scott it's called marriage
14d in reply to Reverend_Scott               
2
Reverend Scott @Reverend_Scott
"Daddy, what's it called when everything you do goes wrong?"

It's called my life, son. [looks off into the distance] It's called my life...
15d               
271
161
Kurt Vonnegut @Kurt_Vonnegut
"To be is to do"-Socrates "To do is to be"-Sartre "Do Be Do Be Do"-Sinatra
15d               
329
316
Chris Sacca @sacca
@polotek @anildash @ShaunKing Can you elaborate on that point?
25d in reply to polotek               
1
Chris Sacca @sacca
@anildash @ShaunKing @ThePhatStartup "Hurts to read" is not a standard by which to judge policy writing.
25d in reply to anildash               
3
Marcia Dorsey @marciadorsey
Good Morning! pic.twitter.com/L62fnA14Vr
31d               
12
3
Kassandra Tomlinson @KassMarTom
Someone buy me an Italian greyhound please. 😍 pic.twitter.com/2OalBaZzBV
34d               
1
Chase Rice @ChaseRiceMusic
#IgniteTheNight is available right NOW on @iTunesMusic > smarturl.it/IgniteTheNight… - Team CR pic.twitter.com/HI58wvXiI5
34d               
471
218
Kassandra Tomlinson @KassMarTom
@krissy hashtag #pound
49d in reply to krissy               
1
Jason Goldman @goldman
Happy anniversary @ev and @sara! timehop.com/c/t:173760912:… pic.twitter.com/YWsXcAzFbI
55d               
25
11
Roth @RothAshley1
How would your life be different if you learned to let go of the things that have already let go of you?
55d               
8
8
Best Vines @TheFunnyVine
I NEVER SAW THIS PART OF THE MOVIE vine.co/v/M05nHpbqdvg
55d               
4,399
4,998
Social Extortion @SocialExtortion
I wish a nap would take me for once
56d               
135
52
haley lewellen @LewellenHaley
My moms bio on twitter!😂😂 @krissy
56d               
1
J.R. Guerra @jrg
"The gold is just too damn effective. Needs to come with a warning label." @krissy
76d               
1
Sarah @iExistStyles
WHY YOU'RE DOING THIS TO ME

#MTVCLASH One Direction
vine.co/v/Mvv1ezDiEjD
78d               
34
47
lisa || pls michael @btwcaIum
this is amazing
the rain makes it even better

vine.co/v/MUIubX3VitD
78d               
2
6
Andy Springall @springy299
@krissy should have seen the other 85 minutes!
83d in reply to krissy               
1
Ashley Cole @TheRealAC3
Hats off to #Algeria
83d               
4,050
7,336
MashableLIVE @MashableLive
#WorldCup reGIF: Those shorts are never going to fit the same. pic.twitter.com/LDp5evMrB4
83d               
118
278
haley lewellen @LewellenHaley
Red robin with the bæ @krissy
85d               
1
J.R. Guerra @jrg
#funly @krissy
88d               
1
Ryan King @rk
Twitter now supports animated GIFs. pic.twitter.com/AfdbbtSryo
95d               
6
9
Steve Jenson @stevej
Who named Colin Kaepernick's turtle Sammy instead of Crawlin' Kaepernick?
96d               
5
iano @iano
A sport where we all just kind of hang out and idk
97d               
16
4
moody monday @mdob11
Horoscope: Slightly fatter than you were yesterday
97d               
1,201
765
Uncle Duke @UncleDuke1969
It’d have been extraordinarily difficult, but, there IS the slightest chance you could’ve fucked that up even worse.

- Inspirational Tweet
98d               
197
101
Tony @Tmoney68
Keep your eye on the prize. And your nose. And your internal organs. Basically just smother that prize with all your parts.
99d               
152
62
J.R. Guerra @jrg
via @krissy pic.twitter.com/7bC38vnOKA
103d               
2
1
LaraCroft,WombRaider @JuJuCumCum
If you creep your ex on Twitter, you still care
104d               
14
1
Biz Stone @biz
@mattknox It was close with those toe socks but I took a leap of faith and you turned out to be an amazing addition to the founding team.
104d in reply to mattknox               
13
Frank Jonen @frankjonen
@Chelli81 @krissy those were the days. Before that dipshit political correctness movement ruined everything.
105d in reply to Chelli81               
2
Debski @debski
@krissy love these - takes me right back
105d in reply to krissy               
1
Michelle Kiener @Chelli81
Reliving our childhood through Garbage Pail Kids w/ @krissy pic.twitter.com/rcXP5P8NBX
105d               
5
1
Best Vines @TheFunnyVine
Cat + Waffle vine.co/v/hewQrXV9bU3
107d               
5,763
6,778
Kevin Weil @kevinweil
@adambain proof: pic.twitter.com/VMWUTYOdfn pic.twitter.com/3Gz3XKSAIp pic.twitter.com/zaJJNXVi29 twitter.com/kevinweil/stat… @posco @niels @damnitsamet
108d in reply to kevinweil               
4
Chase Rice @ChaseRiceMusic
Luke Bryan up....they should have a Victorias Secret free new panties box outside the arena. #CMTawards
109d               
3,767
2,198
Kevin Weil @kevinweil
Current @adambain status: pic.twitter.com/gmxNTUaGON
110d               
109
17
Vine @vineapp
Give it your all today 😃 vine.co/v/MHE7KvWgaup
111d               
7,030
7,943
Best Vines @TheFunnyVine
When bae isn't in the mood. vine.co/v/Mp77BVehrtM
112d               
4,125
4,659
Best Vines @TheFunnyVine
Cats can now answer phones vine.co/v/hTPBEKvUE3w
112d               
2,913
3,015
Best Vines @TheFunnyVine
Bae: Come over
Me: I gotta watch my neighbours goat
Bae: my parents aren't home
Me: vine.co/v/Md06J3nDlTn
112d               
6,750
8,365
Michelle Kiener @Chelli81
"I love you so much.. I owe you a bundt cake" @krissy to @jrg
112d               
2
inappropriate mom @nicfit75
I don't always drink at lunch with my kids* but when I do, I am guaranteed to run into other parents from school.

*yes I do.
113d               
63
16
Reverend Scott @Reverend_Scott
"He'll change."

- women
114d               
229
156
Jerad Bettencourt @JeradB
Yup, that sounds and looks about right. 👌👋✌👭👭🚜 #hilarious #funny #tractor #blondes #brunetteinstagram.com/p/ok7_QgDVIU/
115d               
1
Michelle Kiener @Chelli81
@krissy #hardtolove #nashville #vegas #sandiego #summer2014 pic.twitter.com/mgO1egh7OB
116d in reply to krissy               
4
crystal @crystal
Happy birthday to the newly-turned 14 year old Haley Lewellen! Best 14 year old of all.
118d               
1
Michelle Kiener @Chelli81
@TheJoshThompson @krissy wish fulfilled! Thank you!!! Hope to see you in Nashville in June! If not, come to So Cal already !!!!
118d in reply to TheJoshThompson               
1
Josh Thompson @TheJoshThompson
@krissy @Chelli81 Happy Birthday!
120d in reply to krissy               
3
Dan Ewen @VaguelyFunnyDan
"How much for the deer-hunting witch hat?"
"Sir, that's a traffic cone."
"I must have it!"
120d               
91
44
Chase Rice @ChaseRiceMusic
Cutoffs. Damnnnnnn
121d               
500
118
crystal @crystal
@krissy it knows.
122d in reply to krissy               
1
Andy Lorek @mrtall
Silicon Valley people brag about going to job interviews wearing T-shirts. I just went to one and had my fly open the whole time. #winning
125d               
22
1
Best Vines @TheFunnyVine
How to flirt vine.co/v/MiWTe6TDImt
126d               
3,553
3,714
Clint Torres @BangMyBongo
My birthstone is rock bottom...
127d               
812
551
Anna @AnnazzBananazz
I love you, thank you for choosing me! @xtianprintup #EverythingInLifeIsAChoice #TrueLove pic.twitter.com/xmbFrTtKuf
131d               
2
Doug Bowman @stop
It’s been an honor to serve as Twitter’s creative director for the past 5 years. On my last day here, I offer this: stopdesign.com/archive/2014/0…
135d               
564
331
Best Vines @TheFunnyVine
When someone you don't like tries to make a joke vine.co/v/Mrn9aiAzmtQ
138d               
8,022
10,911
Mike Doeff @mdoeff
Twitter is over - again RT @parislemon: Wither Twitter? medium.com/five-hundred-w…
144d               
5
8
MG Siegler @parislemon
Wither Twitter? medium.com/five-hundred-w…
144d               
34
30
Maggie! @MaggieM
BEST POSTCARD EVER! cc/@crystal pic.twitter.com/01kkHeQ0o2
148d               
3
EIE.Visalia @EIEVisalia
EIE - Explore Your Interests and Talents; Invest in Yourself and Our Community; Embark on a Self-Directed Course for Your Future. 09.20.14
151d               
1
Sara @SaraKnobel
John Newman is the bae. 😍 pic.twitter.com/OBuzs4FIh5
161d               
3
2
Rock @TheMichaelRock
Maybe cats are just reincarnated people that were assholes.
169d               
392
293
Alissa @alissa
@jkalucki Pretty sure #mytwtrinterviewpanel was @jack, @al3x, @blaine, @bs, @jeremy, @goldman, & @biz. (Plus @krissy & @crystal at dinner.)
177d in reply to jkalucki               
7
Rudy Winnacker @ronpepsi
@arcdoc @jeremy @meangrape @al3x @jack @bs @alissa And @krissy and @crystal kept it real even if I was ready for a little crazy.
177d in reply to ronpepsi               
2
Santosh Jayaram @santojay
Humbled by @twitter mentions from years ago #twtrinterviewpanel Mine was @ev @biz @gregpass @goldman @crystal @jkalucki & @krissy #thankful
177d               
11
John Kalucki @jkalucki
@bs Groan. Lunch: good. Bath House: skipped, basically weirded out.
177d in reply to bs               
5
Britt Selvitelle @bs
@jkalucki @isaach Best part was, Kabuki bath house team outing first day?
177d in reply to jkalucki               
4
John Kalucki @jkalucki
@isaach #mytwtrinterviewpanel IIRC, @jack @ev @biz @goldman @mighdoll @al3x @jeremy @bs @robey @meangrape @alissa @dpp. 2 days.
177d in reply to isaach               
8
1
Ev Williams @ev
The one word thing I can never remember: “What’s up with 'affect' and 'effect'?” by @The_YUNiversity medium.com/i-love-charts/…
194d               
49
28
Jonathan Shecter @SheckyGreen
I really should disable voicemail on the cell. Of the past 25 voicemails received, perhaps one has had a positive impact on my mood or life.
194d               
3
Reverend Scott @Reverend_Scott
Do depressed people know about raw cookie dough?
194d               
161
80
Cheryl P. @che
Celebrating 5 years (& 5 t-shirts) @twitter..thank you @krissy @ev @biz for giving this gal a chance. #thankful pic.twitter.com/c4m0G8v9Lp
195d               
27
1
Anita @miss_splendid
🎉Go shorty, it's your birthday!🎁 Happy 1st birthday @MrTallsDog❤️🐶 #BestPuppyEver pic.twitter.com/TnBnWZiuFH
202d               
5
2
Ev Williams @ev
I dreamt Jack and Diane broke up.
209d               
51
21
Emily @tiger
Commuting via Ikebukuro means all the depachika salads I ever wanted.
209d               
1
Joses @JosesLovesYou
These kids think they're too cool to do somersaults. Just get over yourself!
220d               
19
2
Maggie Utgoff @mutgoff
Talking with @why about the best form of communication: hitting people.
222d               
5
2
Brian Essbe @SortaBad
Make sure you slam your weights down at the gym so everyone around is impressed by how heavy they are and how strong you must be
223d               
126
43
moody monday @mdob11
Love me. More. More. More.
Nope, too much. Goodbye.
224d               
2,626
1,659
Michael @Home_Halfway
Just gonna wait to see how long it takes this police sketch artist to realize I'm describing him.
224d               
8,720
4,925
Chris Sacca @sacca
Before you run your Super Bowl ad, ask yourself, "Would we be better served taking this money and just quietly setting it on fire?"
231d               
482
814
iano @iano
who is jobless and wants to loiter or something
247d               
18
3
Vodka n Tots @Vodkantots
Let go and let me try again without my teeth.
248d               
92
43
Imma Hot Mess @sportslesbian
There are 2 types of people in this world:

1. Those that have peed in the shower
2. Fucking liars
251d               
11
6
Brian Hope @Brianhopecomedy
My wife said she won't have sex with me until I stop talking like a teenage girl and I think that's unfairzeez.
251d               
46
14
Lea Minaj @lealowery
*hairflip*
252d               
1
Chaos Theory @lifecoachfit
Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.
253d               
2,546
1,827
Kevin Thau @kevinthau
Niners instagram.com/p/jBN8KJLale/
253d               
4
3
Farrel ward @ward_farrel
@krissy Who's got it better than us......??!!! Noooboooody...!!! 🏈👍#Goniners
266d in reply to krissy               
1
☆ Petote ☆ @Petote
And then I was like, "whatever bitches"
And the bitches whatevered
267d               
2,358
1,811
onlyastoner @onlyastoner
better delirious than serious
269d               
71
76
Jay @theshamingofjay
Me getting divorced is regifting an asshole to society
269d               
347
160
Amanda Brooke Perrin @brookeperrin
My mom got me a Game of Thrones necklace for Christmas, which is cool because I was getting sick of telling people that I'm a virgin.
270d               
79
28
Bryan Donaldson @TheNardvark
When you’re cutting wrapping paper and your scissors start to glide is what I imagine heroin feels like.
271d               
8,577
6,295
Jerry Smith @JerryFnSmith
Tomorrow will be the first Christmas day that I don't wake up with a hangover, and I am so excited about that. I am in love with sobriety
271d               
2
Farrel ward @ward_farrel
@krissy the game was awesome babe I had the time of my life can't remember the last time I had so much fun in one day... 💚 you... Xoxoxo
271d in reply to krissy               
1
Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn
Three things you should never underestimate:

1) nature

2) the stock market

3) a woman’s ability to ruin your life
276d               
121
110
Swishergirl @Swishergirl24
My life is just a bunch of "before pics"
276d               
390
179
KATY PERRY @katyperry
Real couples. Fake bull. Holding on for dear life! WHO YOU LOVE directed by Sophie Muller starring @JohnMayer and me: smarturl.it/whoyoulovevideo
278d               
8,805
8,769
aud @aud
Last full moon of 2013 is all like, check out my halo instagram.com/p/iA-60In26v/
278d               
1
Joses @JosesLovesYou
My Christmas list:
Friends
Various cheeses
Sex
Teddy bear with a leather jacket and sunglasses
278d               
37
11
Breakups/Makeups @MAKEUP_SEX
time for your bullshit?

no no no
no no
no \_ no
no no
no no no
280d               
132
227
Swishergirl @Swishergirl24
It's not drinking alone if your demons are there.
283d               
823
561
Stacey Lynne @NervousJr
Do people who are sad know about grilled cheese?
285d               
1,954
1,247
Ryan @rzarosco
Job Posting:

Title: receptionist

Description: must be pissed off all the time

Qualities: must be complete bitch

Where: all companies
290d               
123
54
Uncle Duke @UncleDuke1969
Dear Santa,

Please bring my wife an 'unexpressed thought'.

I know she's never had one before.

Thanks,
Duke
291d               
384
188
Brandi Glanville @BrandiGlanville
I can not freaking sleep!!!!
291d               
46
21
Oh, THAT Ryan... @Professor_Ryan
If God gave Moses two tablets today he would probably just play Candy Crush, watch Netflix and pray for a longer charger cord.
294d               
185
119
Aaron G. @Airrun
Sometimes I feel like Facebook purposely tries to hurt me with its reminders and suggestions. =(
295d               
1
KoKeniSaskquatch @KoKeniSasquatch
It's a fine line between excuse and explanation.
306d               
527
351
Maggie! @MaggieM
Happy Birthday @krissy!!! Sorry...meant to tweet this earlier today. 😁🎉🍷🍷🍹🎂
317d               
1
Dan Lawler @theDanLawler
I PROPOSE ABOLISHING "G"

There is no "spot". You're not my "homey"

...It does come in handy with Grape though

That would be awkward juice
322d               
105
55
Breakups/Makeups @MAKEUP_SEX
annoyed isn't even a feeling for me anymore its become a personality trait
327d               
131
224
Del Harvey @delbius
Today marks five years working at @twitter. I need a nap.
333d               
203
17
PaperWash© @PaperWash
*Signs into Facebook

"If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best" is posted everywhere

*Agrees

*Deletes Facebook
337d               
1,285
824
Jason Bentley @jasonbentley
The Wrecking Ball/Nothing Compares 2 U mashup is true musical, lyrical, personal, and cultural convergence. CHILLS. youtube.com/watch?v=rDcTga…
348d               
5
2
Sunny @ReanneAmanda
If you want someone to trust you, be trustworthy.
349d               
3
2
kelly jean @kjmeow
alligator death rolled two cupcakes
354d               
106
47
Ren Rock (MJRS) @djrenrock
The day you stop worrying about money is the day your life of riches begins! #RenRockWisdom
354d               
3
1
Fred Asstear @PortRooster
I can't believe it's not butt!

- How to compliment a woman on her kegel efforts
372d               
57
22
Linda Seabright @lindasea
Congrats @twitter @TwitterEng @crystal @jack @krissy !!!!
373d               
1
LaraCroft,WombRaider @JuJuCumCum
If you refer to your biological father as "daddy" I'll assume you're a fan of incest
383d               
2
2
Joses @JosesLovesYou
A rape whistle but for lame conversations.
388d               
66
39
Zack @Mr_Kapowski
New College Admissions Test

______ not getting into this college

A. Your
B. Ur
C. You're
D. U're
388d               
3,450
3,332
Brad @BradNewsBears
Wait... The girl raised by the 'achy breaky heart' guy did something trashy?... THE HELL YOU SAY?!!!
391d               
48
34
Ryan King @rk
My wife dancing on her own while eating prosciutto. #sexy vine.co/v/heQvDg9h1eq
393d               
2
J.R. Guerra @jrg
@krissy Ya... 😒
393d in reply to krissy               
1
Faruk Ateş @KuraFire
What am I doing on a Friday night at 2:40am after a party? Oh, just helping complete idiots make even bigger fools of themselves. As you do.
393d               
3
CherriAnn @_CherriAnn_
I like to make lists. I also like to leave them laying on the kitchen counter and then guess what's on the list while at the store. Fun game
394d               
1,166
760
Sara @sara_ashlynn
I kicked off the school year with red wine splatter on my son's goal setting form for his teacher.
397d               
150
55
UHH @cervixsmash
Dogs are the perfect napkins because they just think you’re petting them
397d               
390
302
UberFacts @UberFacts
People in relationships dream about their significant other about 20% of the time.
398d               
738
816
Jeremy @jeremy
He's not a traitor per se. But we can't help him either. (Someone)
400d               
1
Jeremy Pond @JeremyPond
Happy 4th @twitter anniversary to me! Cc: @goldman @crystal @krissy @pandemona @JadeEmily #MuchLove #ItStartedAtTheWynn
408d               
3
Oscar Rodriguez @oscardrodrigue8
A day without talking to you is a day without a purpose!
#IMissYou 😰
420d               
2
1
Swishergirl @Swishergirl24
A wedding is just a funeral with a DJ.
425d               
1,423
874
Jeremy Pond @JeremyPond
And I am 21 tweets from 60,000 ... right before my four-year anniversary. I blame this on @goldman, @ev, @krissy and @crystal. ☺ #Tryst
426d               
2
Stacey Lynne @NervousJr
I don't care how serious your argument is. If somebody accidentally rhymes, you point that shit out.
426d               
4,308
3,221
Jonathan Shecter @SheckyGreen
The jury consist of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer. ~Robert Frost
429d               
2
1
Roberto Lopez @Roberto_Lopez_
I found some old footage of myself ditching church! #Boss youtube.com/watch?feature=…
430d               
1
Don Swan @TheSwanDon
Girls quote Marilyn Monroe relationship and life advice so much its almost like she wasn't a three time divorced, drug-addicted alcoholic.
437d               
1,505
1,579
Scott Simpson @scottsimpson
@shanecyr Band shirts should cost your age.
443d in reply to shanecyr               
66
48
Keegan, el vegano @boucekk
Movement is good for the body. Stillness is good for the mind.

-@SakyongMipham
445d               
18
30
Miss Babé @f0xxygrandpa
My preferred sexual position is the 9

That's me alone, on my bed, in the fetal position.
446d               
107
45
Cheryl P. @che
Let's get this show on the road! @TwitterOpen #SFpride pic.twitter.com/PYvM1cZ7or
448d               
7
5
aud @aud
Giant lesbian marriage monster instagram.com/p/bK78vyH20c/
449d               
2
brain vomit @heidi420x
My most impressive magic trick is turning a bag of trail mix into a bag of raisins.
474d               
1,028
473
J.R. Guerra @jrg
"I creep, because I care." - @damigsta LOL
476d               
1
Biz Stone @biz
"Don't be evil." isn't "Be good." There's wiggle room in there.
476d               
111
224
Biz Stone @biz
“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”
480d               
156
319
Luke Esterkyn @lukester
Why is it so hard to explain to a 2 and 4 year old that they're exhausted and should really just go to bed? Come on evolution, do yo thang.
485d               
5
Abhorrent Housewife @abhorrent_wife
I wish I loved anything as much as my brain loves forgetting why I walked into a room.
485d               
158
81
Scott @defnotscott
So what do women say when they're actually fine?
486d               
132
111
Jack @jack
Stop following me. vine.co/v/bEFhj65xq7I
492d               
74
48
Lea Minaj @lealowery
Hump day #shots #goldfish vine.co/v/bEiLlHHv52H
494d               
4
Jonathan Shecter @SheckyGreen
There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.
496d               
4
7
Andy Lorek @mrtall
When a PM schedules a pointless meeting, grab them by the jaw and base of the neck, look them dead in the eyes, and scream "NO MEETINGS!!!"
502d               
7
Marcia Dorsey @marciadorsey
Look who's smiling at me in while in line @OfficeMax!
502d               
2
@MrTall's Dog @MrTallsDog
You bore me, smelly land ape pic.twitter.com/t16fBJlU0l
503d               
1
1
aud @aud
Reunion vine.co/v/b2iuXTtEb5E
503d               
1
inappropriate mom @nicfit75
I'm more of a goes over it with a wide-toothed comb sort, really.
504d               
44
18
Alissa @alissa
Content fatigue.
504d               
2
1
Pete Wentz @petewentz
May the 4th be with you...
505d               
1,368
2,675
THEBU_ZZED @THEBU_ZZED
I want everything to last longer with you
505d               
247
153
iris @irisespinoza87
I'm thinking bed time before 1am tonight 😴😴😴
506d               
1
Rachel Bush @livesfor3
Lil mechanic in training!!! instagram.com/p/Y3-u3yJwo5/
506d               
1
Token Geezer @Token_Geezer
Settle down dear.

It’s a little wasp. Not a fuckin fire-breathing dragon.
508d               
208
92
Jeff Hood ॐ @jeffrhood
Sometimes the solution to your problem is realizing its not a problem...
509d               
127
91
The One @F5X11
No, YOU swallow my pride
511d               
161
79
aud @aud
"Bisexuality is real. Until you're gay."
512d               
3
Claire Díaz-Ortiz @Claire
“Such as are your habitual thoughts, such also will be the character of your mind; for the soul is dyed by the thoughts.” -Marcus Aurelius
516d               
5
8
Brian Hope @Brianhopecomedy
My 2 year old put a band-aid in her hair so I'm gonna go buy some earplugs before I pull it off.
516d               
40
6
Niles @River_Niles
Text from bro: "remember the corn"

I dunno if I need to buy corn?
If its the start of a reminiscent story?
If its a "lest we forget" thing?
516d               
13
3
Yassin @yassinovic89
If you love someone, let them sleep.
520d               
839
819
The Cisco Kid @TheCiscoKidder
Instead of divorce, how about a marriage license you have to renew every year.
521d               
2,707
1,887
inappropriate mom @nicfit75
The truth hurts. Therefore I avoid it all costs.
526d               
79
28
Jack @jack
Wow. #coachella on Vine is amazing. pic.twitter.com/IDoK9cHSLW
526d               
40
50
Josh Susser @joshsusser
The trick is realizing that other people's lives matter more than being able to say you are right.
527d               
14
9
Britt Selvitelle @bs
@alissa Many have tried; Few have succeeded. [Attached pic of my penis …]
528d in reply to alissa               
2
Aaron G. @Airrun
I watch really trashy tv. Am I proud of it? No. Am I embarrassed by it? No. It is really entertaining.
532d               
1
2
Benjamin in Edmonton @Ben_in_yeg
@krissy 100% better than the alternative; feeling lonely, while not being alone. ;)
532d in reply to krissy               
2
Eric Santos @ericsantos89
Visalia is popping, said no one ever.
532d               
6
1
iris @irisespinoza87
Signs of a good time is waking up with bruises 😝
534d               
1
Hazel Porter @michowl
Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.
535d               
521
422
iris @irisespinoza87
Sorry.. I'm not sorry 😉
535d               
1
Oprah Winfrey @Oprah
Roger and Gene together again. End of an era.
535d               
626
1,676
iris @irisespinoza87
Take me as I am!! Lol 🙈
536d               
1
sarah @suruhh
ask him who he's with, when he's coming home, how many drinks he's had, are there girls there, and does he still like you.

guys love that.
537d               
714
497
Dani Fernandez @msdanifernandez
Went outside today.

It was awful.
537d               
106
36
Del Harvey @delbius
Only upon closing the fridge did I realize how lucky I was to have escaped alive from the Refrigerator Guardian. pic.twitter.com/HEtdswBlR3
539d               
31
21
iris @irisespinoza87
This kid I tell him to smile and this is his face lol 😝 happy Easter #familyfirst pic.twitter.com/EIRmTbtePc
539d               
2
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