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ImageNameLocationTwitter sinceLinks
Sam MorrilNew York City2008-12-05
@sammorril1,960 days
Stand-Up Comic/Gentleman
FollowersFollowingTweetsListsFavorites
3,3004155,098981,222
We found 198 favorite tweets.
Brian Koppelman @briankoppelman
@sammorril I once opened with a joke about Neil Diamond to a crowd of Danes who didn't even know what diamonds were. The mineral.
18h in reply to sammorril               
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Jared Freid @jtrain56
"I literally, JUST CAN'T." - Constipated College Girl In The Bathroom.
1d               
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pamela mooney @wyleelynn
@sammorril it's pretty much self explanatory
1d in reply to sammorril               
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Erika Johnson @erjohnson0320
@sammorril can I laugh ... I did !
1d in reply to sammorril               
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Amy Schumer @amyschumer
Also tonight on #insideamy Dante Alexander @sammorril @gracyact Luke Sherman @GrantWiley2 Swann Gruen and @VinceEustace 10:30
2d               
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Jared Logan @JaredLogan
The problem with having stand-up comedians as friends is that they are horrible people.
3d               
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Kyle Heiser @airmaxheiser63
@sammorril saw you on Red Eye the other night. Great job and I hope to see you as a guest again.
3d in reply to sammorril               
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George Schmitt @GeoSA47
@sammorril @RedEyeAlerts Another new follower courtesy of #RedEye Good job.
3d in reply to sammorril               
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Scott Raab @ScottRaab64
@DougStanhope Anytime, Doug.
4d in reply to DougStanhope               
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Stand Up NY Labs @StandUpNYLabs
New Moonlighting with @sammorril @RachelFeinstein @DaveJuskow & @TommyCody
soundcloud.com/sammorril/sexu…
4d               
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Joel Richardson @SoulJoel
Rest in Peace Otto. You will be missed, but your memory will live on
4d               
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pamela mooney @wyleelynn
@sammorril was it the dog joke
4d in reply to sammorril               
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Cris Italia @CrisItalia
So sad to hear of the passing of Otto Petersen of @OttoAndGeorge today. Had the pleasure of working with him through the years. #rip
4d               
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Adrienne Iapalucci @AIapalucci
I'm watching Annie Hall. I wanted to watch this since @sammorril wrote a joke about it.
4d               
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Ken Schultz @kenthinguy
CNN is the first news network to cover a plane crash via a train wreck.
4d               
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Jim Gaffigan @JimGaffigan
Conversation with my 8 year old son.
Son: Dad, you make more money but I'm better looking than you.
Me: Most people are.
4d               
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WhiteMamba46 @WhiteMamba46
@sammorril Keep coming back on. Could always use another comedic voice on #RedEye
5d in reply to sammorril               
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Adam Johnson @awj9009
So @sammorril had been on before this. I don't remember that. But I liked him on this episode. Funny. And friends with @joemachi #RedEye
5d               
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Lauren L @LChristine92
@sammorril @RedEyeFNC Great show!
5d in reply to sammorril               
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Claudia @CedarStArt
@sammorril Nice to see you on @RedEyeFNC tonight! What did you guys do with @Sherrod_Small and that "other guy" ? =)
5d in reply to sammorril               
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David Spade @DavidSpade
Instagram is down. Does that mean they cancel coachella? I mean whats the point of going now. To hear the music??
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Joel H. Kimball @joelkimball
@sammorril "Best hype man since Flava Flav" #wisdom #RedEye #LastNight
6d in reply to sammorril               
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Delores Chipperson @ChippahsMudder
@sammorril Hey, Sam. One of the feminists who attacked you for "rape jokes" last year got arrested for rape: m.sfexaminer.com/sanfrancisco/t…
6d in reply to sammorril               
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The 57th State© ℅EF™ @EF517_V2
@sammorril Nice job on @RedEyeFNC but you should travel with @greggutfeld to the Villages. I don't think hell make it out alive.
6d in reply to sammorril               
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Dick Laurent @travchik
Moar @sammorril on #RedEye or the hairless pussy cat gets it.
6d               
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RedEye Guest Ranking @RedEyeGR
4-11
Tier 2 @sammorril Pretty funny 1st timer. Maybe he should try comedy?
Tier 3 @LizMacDonaldFOX Always tries hard
Subplot: It WAS evil.
6d               
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Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt
Rejoice! @attell has a new special on Comedy Central TOMORROW NIGHT. The Leonard Cohen of dick jokes returns: on.cc.com/1ghrUNy
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val @VShlottic
Agree wholeheartedly! RT @RedEyeAlerts: Great job on #RedEye last night @sammorril. Hope you come back REAL soon!
7d               
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Red Eye Pit Crew @RedEyeAlerts
Great job on #RedEye last night @sammorril. Hope you come back REAL soon!
7d               
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Andrea Chapman @STL_Blonde
For a 1st timer, @sammorril wasn't bad on #RedEye, he just needs to butt into the conversation more often.
7d               
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Artie Lange @artiequitter
#tbt pic.twitter.com/mlkXYhCRvT
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Colin Quinn @iamcolinquinn
Backstage withh @JimNorton and @amyschumer from 2009. pic.twitter.com/H9QxJgh0Bw
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Matteo Lane @MatteoLane
Meeting men on Grindr is basically a step above meeting men by tapping underneath a bathroom stall.
10d               
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pete lee @peteleetweets
Oh nothing...I'm just hanging out with my new friend @BrooklynDecker on the set of #BestWeekEver. pic.twitter.com/lEB9tSxM02
10d               
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Chris Distefano @chrisdcomedy
Thank you for the dope socks @stancesocks ! My man #DeeBrown and #GrandMaMa #LJ! #socks #myfeetstayclean pic.twitter.com/o2hQgNrUem
11d               
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Jake Weisman @weismanjake
George Bush Jr. becoming a painter after being responsible for lots of innocent people's deaths is like pulling a reverse Hitler
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Anya Marina @anyamarina
RT @gregorybehrendt Dear @CBS, blow us away by making @NikkiGlaser new Late Show host + @anyamarina + her @reigningmonarch's the house band!
13d               
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Stand Up NY Labs @StandUpNYLabs
New Moonlighting with @sammorril @GVider @lynchcarmen & @rastphan soundcloud.com/sammorril/meth… part of @SoundCloud #comedymonth
14d               
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Pete Davidson @petedavidson
I'm so sick I can't even jerk off
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pamela mooney @wyleelynn
@sammorril sale 50 percent off too
14d in reply to sammorril               
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Colin Quinn @iamcolinquinn
I always liked David Letterman. There was tension with us, and I guess some envy but never on my part. He's great..wish him the best.
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Dan St. Germain @DSGermain
Winner of @CarolinesonBway March Madness, @GVider !!!! pic.twitter.com/tSVzTwE8nC
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Andre Thompson @commentarybydre
"Make you think 9-11 was a inside job" @sammorril #halalfood pic.twitter.com/2g39bLwGRN
16d               
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Ron and Fez @RonandFezSXM
@sammorril if you want a compliment Sam, don't fish... just ask. We think you're awesome.
16d in reply to sammorril               
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Gary Vider @GVider
@sammorril you're a terrible person and you should probably kill yourself. Good morning.
16d in reply to sammorril               
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Mike Recine @mikerecine
Sucky my balls, Liquiteria. My $22k-a-year balls.
16d               
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Neal Brennan @nealbrennan
It's important that we be super sensitive about comedy because before Hitler invaded Poland, he did tons of jokes about it.
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Sean Donnelly @seanytime
You know you are in a gentrified area when you see graffiti and the tag is "BRUNCH"
17d               
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Colin Quinn @iamcolinquinn
Lady in elevator almost got off at my floor by accident. We shared a "been there, done that" smile and then both went down to the lobby!
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Léa Stréliski @LeaStreliski
@sammorril Haha! Yes, I was just stating the obvious.
20d in reply to sammorril               
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Pauly Casillas @PaulyPeligroso
Suicide is never the answer. Unless the question is: How do I cover up a murder?
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Jim Norton @JimNorton
There's nothing wrong with being offended by a joke. You're only an asshole when you expect someone to be punished for it.
#CancelColbert
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Comedy Groupie @ComedyGroupie
I mean, if I were the @LateLateShowCBS with @CraigyFerg people, I'd certainly book @PaulVirzi @Travon and @sammorril
21d               
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Jimmy Shubert @JimmyShubert
#TBT 1st time I met one of my comedy heroes back stage main room at The World Famous Comedy Store pic.twitter.com/Y6SOsbDuH8
22d               
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Scott Rogowsky @ScottRogowsky
Shit! I'm in Miami and I forgot to go to the gym for the past three years!
22d               
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Liam McEneaney @HeyItsLiam
"Hey, Liam is a comedian. He shouldn't mind if I leave a shitty hurtful comment on his Facebook wall."
24d               
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Scott Rogowsky @ScottRogowsky
RIP James Rebhorn. Also, good time to announce I'm producing his biopic "Rebhorn Without A Cause" hit me on Kickstarter with your $$$ thx
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Colin Quinn @iamcolinquinn
Not to be a snob, but this UNC Iowa State contest has a certain rustic charm to it. In a very provincial way of course.
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Gary Gulman @GaryGulman
Followed an 80 year old man at spa today. Must have been a great delight to dig into The Gul's scrumptious bod. #Comparitively #NoDoubt
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Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien
I think what pushed Fred Phelps over the edge was the opening of "300: Rise of an Empire."
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chris laker @chrislaker
Thanks twitter notifications! I almost missed out on some vital @NickMaritato and @zacharysims activity. pic.twitter.com/xcNWLPC60z
28d               
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Steve Austine @steveaustine89
My favourite podcasts for this week @TuesdayStories, @sammorril (Moonlighting), @YKWDpodcast, @joederosacomedy @GregFitzShow & @NickDiPaolo
28d               
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Matt Nedostup @mattnedostup
My bracket is fine. I have "The Fans" to win every game.
29d               
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Nikki Glaser @NikkiGlaser
@weismanjake i'd like to thank my mother!
29d in reply to weismanjake               
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Jake Weisman @weismanjake
Congratulations to everyone in comedy for being mentally ill
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Steve Austine @steveaustine89
@sammorril another great episode mate but now I feel like an asshole for thinking About A Boy wasn't that bad.
29d in reply to sammorril               
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Ryan Hamilton @ryanhamiltone
No one ever says I slept like a baby's parents.
29d               
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Jamie Lee @TheJamieLee
Older women say they feel invisible, which honestly sounds kinda great. You lost getting hollered at, but you gained A SUPERPOWER.
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Phil Hanley @PhilMHanley
I'm behind this guy at air port security. On my way to a gig. The MC may have to do a little extra time. pic.twitter.com/fy2vjrhJum
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Jon Fisch @JonnyFisch
I'm so hungover! Oh wait, didn't drink yesterday. I'm so old!
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Jen Padellaro @JenniferPadella
I'm "didn't even consider going out for St. Patrick's Day" years old.
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Nick Cobb @nmcobbler
Thinking of doing a kickstarter to fund the removal of my now 13 year-old tramp stamp. Good or bad idea guys?
32d               
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2HAYNEZ @imandyhaynes
Florida: the chaos of Latin America, combined with the ignorance of the South.
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Jarret Berenstein @justjarret
Larry King is so old that jokes about how old he is are now also super duper old.
34d               
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Sam Grittner @SamGrittner
"Sir, I can't deliver a pizza to a sewer, that's ridiculous."
*phone is yanked out of his hand*
"Leo? Sorry, he's new here. The usual?"
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Dan Litvin @KnicksFanBlog
At the game rocking the same hat I've had since I was about 12. Hey Clyde! pic.twitter.com/osgMtmBIA3
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Ted Alexandro @tedalexandro
I got a fever and the only prescription is more triangle! #PhilJackson #Knicks
34d               
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Nikki Glaser @NikkiGlaser
Road comedy is walking .8 miles down a service road in search of a 3pm gas station lunch. #hereigo
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Jimmy Shubert @JimmyShubert
Me and @Verafied Had such a blast at #kegsandeggs!!!! @TheShow1053 pic.twitter.com/15ySTt3VO7
35d               
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Brian Scott McFadden @bscottmcfadden
@sammorril maybe u left it on the plane? #justsayin
36d in reply to sammorril               
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Brian Koppelman @briankoppelman
I'm watching Casablanca with my 14 year old daughter who asked to see something great. Cannot imagine a better time than this.
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Michael Che @CheThinks
comedians used to challenge the audience. audiences dont wanna be challenged anymore. they wanna be reassured.
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Kat Robertson ∞ @katrobertson
Wagner college aka silent judgement university -@sammorril #lovedit
37d               
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Keith Alberstadt @KeithAlberstadt
Good news @sammorril -- I just saw Phil Jackson at Barnes n Noble buying "Zen and the Art of Trading Iman Sumpert". #Knicks
37d               
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Matt Fernandez @FattMernandez
Everyday is a wet t-shirt contest when you sweat like I do.
38d               
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Comedy Groupie @ComedyGroupie
First full show in NYC.. and it was a GREAT one! The Sam & Joe show at @CarolinesonBway w @sammorril @joemachi - comedygroupie.com/whats-up/2014/…
38d               
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Nikki Glaser @NikkiGlaser
@sammorril i feel like somewhere in this, there is truth.
39d in reply to sammorril               
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Mike Scollins @mikescollins
Proud of myself for waiting an entire 15 seconds into brunch before segueing into my Yellow King theories.
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Amy Schumer @amyschumer
@sammorril hey I really think we should give this a shot
40d in reply to sammorril               
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New York Magazine @NYMag
A handy glossary of True Detective names, places and things: vult.re/1kCZsME pic.twitter.com/UVbkv8V1gR
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Ted Alexandro @tedalexandro
Listen to me on @sammorril's terrific Moonlighting podcast. The hilarious and beguiling @RachelFeinstein joins us! soundcloud.com/sammorril/we-d…
42d               
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Adrienne Iapalucci @AIapalucci
I'm gonna cheat on my boyfriend just so we have something new to fight about.
45d               
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Sarah Tollemache @stollemache
Doesn't it look like @JoeListComedy is fucking around with the gym's equipment but it's an actual… instagram.com/p/lF5T9BJJAm/
46d               
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Colin Quinn @iamcolinquinn
.@JuddApatow Jammed up financially. Need an advance on the residuals for the upcoming @amyschumer movie. Feel weird asking but #toughtimes
46d               
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pamela mooney @wyleelynn
@joemachi @sammorril it's his deep voice that gets me
46d in reply to joemachi               
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Todd Barry @toddbarry
I can look at someone for 5 seconds and tell you whether they'll ask for low sodium soy sauce at a Chinese restaurant.
46d               
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Pete Davidson @petedavidson
@PaulVirzi @TheJoeMatarese when are you two gonna get married?
50d in reply to PaulVirzi               
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Laurie Kilmartin @anylaurie16
I said, "Grandpa's dying," and my 7 yo son looked up at me with his big brown chocolate drop eyes and said, "what about his iPad?"
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Dan Babo @DanielJBabo
@sammorril You and the lesbian you brought to the @ArtieLangeShow tonight were hilarious!!! Come to Jr's Last Laugh Erie, Pa @joemachi
52d in reply to sammorril               
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Michelle Wolf @michelleisawolf
I can't believe they're canceling Piers Morgan. Just tonight he's doing a hard hitting interview with the extremely relevant David Arquette
52d               
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Ted Alexandro @tedalexandro
Come on @1keithrobinson! No eye contact. pic.twitter.com/1mqKn6D0dK
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Spiros Vondas @BiGFiShMoNeY
@sammorril hey man awesome set last night, @LevityLive not sure how you were able to make those miserable cuntapotamuses laugh at all.
56d in reply to sammorril               
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Gary Gulman @GaryGulman
Show me a sport Larry Bird could have afforded to play growing up and I'll watch it. Fuck Sochi and the Whiter Olympics!
57d               
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pamela mooney @wyleelynn
@sammorril @AnthonyDeVito_ @GregStone_ @joemachi yes Sam don't park ur car in garage and turn on the engine with ur dog in it ♥♥♥
57d in reply to sammorril               
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The Rabid Monk @rabidmonk1
@iamcolinquinn awestruck by greatness pic.twitter.com/Oz9ILNDRhW
59d in reply to iamcolinquinn               
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Just For Laughs @Just_For_Laughs
This week on #FunnyAsHell, @lynchcarmen passes judgment and makes laughs! Friday at 9:30 on #HBOCanada. pic.twitter.com/8sm36VHCeA
59d               
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Alonzo Bodden @AlonzoBodden
Loved working @nealbrennan show @westsidecomedy met Kevin Barnett. Hilarious young black comic. Love seeing the next generation
60d               
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Rachel Feinstein @RachelFeinstein
I just saw @petedavidson at CVS! @1keithrobinson @jermaineFOWLER @sammorril pic.twitter.com/ng8Lwu0BHQ
62d in reply to jermaineFOWLER               
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Keith Robinson @1keithrobinson
@petedavidson @RachelFeinstein @jermaineFOWLER he's wearing the outfit he wore on his date with the first openly gay NFL Player
63d in reply to petedavidson               
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sean oconnor @seanoconnz
The first thing I would do if I had muscles is flex in front of a group of tourists in Times Square.
63d               
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Rae Sanni @raesanni
Have your fancy Valentime's day dinners if u want to, i'm gonna marathon House of Cards like a real nigga should.
63d               
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Dan Litvin @KnicksFanBlog
A+ RT @SnottieDrippen: Look at @klew24 smh pic.twitter.com/pA27ssLvX7
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Rose Kuo @RoseKuo
Why I Worked With Roman Polanski, Even Though I Was Sexually Molested as a Child slate.com/articles/life/… via @Slate
64d               
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Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman
My only concern about an openly gay NFL player is will he tackle with the same ferocious rage as a closeted gay NFL player.
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yannispappas @yannispappas
I'm about to be the first comedian to ever do stand up on the new Tonight show with Jimmy Fallon back in beloved NYC. #cheesin
67d               
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Sarena Leathers @SarenaSayWhat
@sammorril had a great night at your show!! Loved it
67d in reply to sammorril               
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Louis Katz @louiskatz
"I may have exact change" *reaches deep into pocket**cashier watches me struggle w/basic math* "3 pennies. 2 nickels. A pube. Nevermind."
67d               
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HugoLindgren @HugoLindgren
Suicide Bomb Instructor Accidentally Kills Pupils nyti.ms/1eJBnBk
67d               
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UberFacts @UberFacts
15 terribly racist cartoon moments you must see: bit.ly/1iEwMPR
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CaptainCook @jonathancook33
@JoeListComedy I'm a such a big fan that I started listening to @sammorril and @joemachi
70d in reply to JoeListComedy               
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Reese Waters @reesewaters
@sammorril They cut my social media campaign #tragicdragic
70d in reply to sammorril               
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Reese Waters @reesewaters
ICYMI: From last night's Inside the NBA bit.ly/1eFbCQN
70d               
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Keith Robinson @1keithrobinson
@toddbarry I see you're sniffing around for a beating
70d in reply to toddbarry               
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Ryan Hamilton @ryanhamiltone
House of Cards Season 2 being released on Valentine's Day. It feels a little like they're making fun of me.
70d               
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rod smith @ThatsNotHandy
@sammorril I see someone watches TMZ. What about a "Ha!"?
71d in reply to sammorril               
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JB @jonnyvampire
@sammorril I've found that I now need "hahaha" or else the person clearly doesn't think it's really funny
71d in reply to sammorril               
1
pamela mooney @wyleelynn
@sammorril @RachelFeinstein @joemachi @DSGermain u r a handsome man Sam
71d in reply to sammorril               
1
Jon Fisch @JonnyFisch
@tedalexandro will learn all bits for when I'm around JJ
73d in reply to tedalexandro               
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yannispappas @yannispappas
I don't know man, I like this girl, I think she could be the 200th.
74d               
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ItsOfficialAmAwesome @itsmygreylife
@sammorril lol ouch
74d in reply to sammorril               
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Joe List @JoeListComedy
Give it away now!
The Broncos theme song
#SuperBowl
74d               
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Bret Ernst @BretErnst
Russel Wilson is playing in the Super Bowl and performing at Halftime?!
74d               
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Craig Mahoney @CraigMahoney
No. Eli wins his Super Bowls. “@sammorril: Now I see Peyton's resemblance to Eli. #SuperBowl
74d in reply to sammorril               
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Colin Quinn @iamcolinquinn
Todays the Super Bowl, gang. In my opinion, one of the if not THE pivotal game of the season. #SB #enjoytheday
75d               
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yannispappas @yannispappas
Re: Woody Allen, read this ENTIRE article thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/…
75d               
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David Angelo @MrDavidAngelo
"Jordan played with the flu. I sure as hell can do my job with the flu, too." -short order cook making my breakfast
76d               
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Jason washausen @Jasonwashausen
@Iamcarsonj @sammorril @stlfunnybone great show last night sam...
76d in reply to Iamcarsonj               
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Baratunde @baratunde
any company that allows you to CREATE an account online but not DELETE your account online is a bunch of assholes.
76d               
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Colin Quinn @iamcolinquinn
View from my favorite place on earth gang!! pic.twitter.com/qaikEUO7pa
77d               
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shane presley @shane5911
See @sammorril this weekend at @stlfunnybone #stlouis tonight - Saturday.
77d               
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Daniel Demant @DanielDemant
Loving a bit of #moonlighting podcast 2night with @sammorril so funny!!
77d               
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Brian Koppelman @briankoppelman
The great @sethmeyers & I just recorded the first episode of my @Grantland33 podcast, The Moment. Should be up on Monday. Hope you dig it.
78d               
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tom mccaffrey @tommccaffrey
I think a great stoner band name would be; Zero Direction.
78d               
6
GregWarren @GregWarren
Hey St. Louis. Thanks to everyone who came out to @stlfunnybone last week. My buddy @sammorril is there this week. He good.
79d               
3
3
Adam Newman @Adam_Newman
"Comedy condo" has officially replaced "bachelorette party" as my two least favorite words in comedy.
80d               
6
AnthonyFrmCalifornia @AnthonyMarch
I loved listening to @sammorril & @joemachi on the @RonandFezSXM show.
80d               
1
pamela mooney @wyleelynn
@sammorril doesn't he have a special bond with his daughter
80d in reply to sammorril               
1
Glenn from Philly @Glennfah
@sammorril is killing it on @RonandFezSXM right now. Stupid Branson and his adventures.
81d in reply to sammorril               
2
gopackjo @gopackjo
Really enjoying @sammorril & @joemachi on @RonandFezSXM! The new comedy format on Rawdog is a win! Love comedians hanging in the studio!
81d               
2
Ron and Fez @RonandFezSXM
In studio right now, talking with @sammorril and @joemachi Go see the Sam and Joe Show at Caroline's in NYC
81d               
3
1
Matt Ruby @mattruby
"The city is really like another character in the show."
-Every actor from every show ever shot on location
81d               
4
Louis Katz @louiskatz
I wasted my night performing stand up instead of staying home & live tweeting a meaningless awards show #moderncomedianpriorities #grammys
81d               
6
Colin Quinn @iamcolinquinn
Layover! pic.twitter.com/SwXZnLzdXe
81d               
60
12
Kevin Barnett @Fatboybarnett
Y'all don't even understand how good I am at staying inside.
82d               
11
16
Amanda Smith @amandabenham
@sammorril Sorry our crowd included a bunch of dumb drunk girls and one stone-faced woman who didn't laugh a single time. Still nailed it.
82d in reply to sammorril               
1
David Angelo @MrDavidAngelo
Louis Farrakhan's on my podcast this week. We talk comedy and the writing process.
82d               
14
3
Darin Patterson @DarinCredible
@sammorril @CheThinks @RachelFeinstein @joemachi I think I found the inspiration for Che's pick-up line.
youtube.com/watch?v=NEUX-H…
83d in reply to sammorril               
1
Dan Wilbur @DanWilbur
I love that part in Casablanca when Bogart is like "What if I hit it one more time tho?"
83d               
9
2
pete lee @peteleetweets
Wow, I hope September is a little happier in Osage County.
83d               
9
5
Rachel DeAlto @RachelDeAlto
Why Vulnerability is HOT racheldealto.com/1/post/2014/01…
84d               
2
Steve Schrader @SschraderSteve
@bobandtom @sammorril Love your Richard Benjamin and nice skinned drifter show today
84d in reply to bobandtom               
1
gin cat @GINNCAT
@bobandtom @sammorril true!! Comic hotter
84d in reply to bobandtom               
2
KC @kclilback
@bobandtom @sammorril how bout this guy pic.twitter.com/oQTLD0a6tP
84d in reply to bobandtom               
1
Mike Lawrence @TheMikeLawrence
One of my favorite things about wrestling is that anyone smart and educated is a bad guy, and anyone who blindly loves America is a hero.
84d               
46
23
Carl Johnson @Carldoesstuff
@sammorril Did the waitress do both?
85d in reply to sammorril               
1
pamela mooney @wyleelynn
@sammorril ur a funny guy Sam
85d in reply to sammorril               
1
Dan Litvin @KnicksFanBlog
With a needle RT @seth_rosenthal: How do you watch the Knicks now? sbn.to/1cZGZRo
85d               
2
1
Todd Barry @toddbarry
I'll be on "Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee" with @JerrySeinfeld this Thurs. Here's a preview! comediansincarsgettingcoffee.com/todd-barry-epi…
87d               
121
56
Will Leitch @williamfleitch
Richard Sherman is more awesome than you are and smarter than you are, and you are bad and you should feel bad. sportsonearth.com/article/668728…
88d               
205
390
Jackie Kashian @jackiekashian
@CrackersComedy @bigjayoakerson @sammorril both pleased to be told of fun breakfast place by the hotel. #imahelper
88d in reply to CrackersComedy               
3
1
Little Esther @littleesther
Do you ever hear a song randomly and start crying and then be like okay gonna re work my budget and make seeing a therapist happen this year
88d               
49
17
Jared Freid @jtrain56
@GregStone_: @wyleelynn @sammorril that's right Pam! #samSucks2014” don't follow Sam!
89d in reply to GregStone_               
1
2
Anthony DeVito @AnthonyDeVito_
@GregStone_ @wyleelynn @sammorril overrated #samsucks2014
89d in reply to GregStone_               
3
2
Greg Stone @GregStone_
@wyleelynn @sammorril that's right Pam! #samSucks2014
89d in reply to wyleelynn               
3
1
JERMAINEfowler @jermaineFOWLER
My only problem with Wolf of Wall St was the nanny's voice "OH LAWD THE BABY! OH CHILD! CRACKA NOOOO!" I made that last part up but u get it
89d               
6
Sean Patton @mrseanpatton
Florida is what everyone feared Eminem's music would inspire.
91d               
36
14
Sam Koppelman @SammyKoppelman
Fare Thee Well, my respect for the Academy. Llewyn is the best film of the year. Hands down. #IfIHadWings...
91d               
12
6
tom mccaffrey @tommccaffrey
I wish I was able to confirm friendships off of Facebook.
93d               
1
Joe DeVito @JoeDeVitoComedy
If I had a time machine, I'd go back to 1990 and show Ice Cube his current IMDB page
93d               
24
18
m. dickson @awkpaupro
Marriage is like murder. If you think you can't do it - you just haven't met the right person.
94d               
1
Michelle Wolf @michelleisawolf
View from my new office as a writer for @LateNightSeth. I am the happiest. pic.twitter.com/KYzIbLfBVu
94d               
188
20
Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman
A briefcase is a backpack that paid off its student loans.
95d               
65
37
RG Daniels @RGDaniels
Jesus might save, but he sure as fuck doesn't sell and that's why sex & drugs will always be more popular.
95d               
1
Michelle Wolf @michelleisawolf
Anthony Bourdain can get it.
95d               
8
1
Mike Scollins @mikescollins
"With their masters CRUEL INTENTIONS, Louisiana was definitely not PLEASANTVILLE. This is 12 Years a Slave."
95d               
31
2
Sean Donnelly @seanytime
@sammorril you're killing!
95d in reply to sammorril               
1
pamela mooney @wyleelynn
@sammorril so ur saying ur a comic
97d in reply to sammorril               
1
Ben Kronberg @benkronberg
Whenever I do a joke about a fat person and no one laughs I'm like: Weight for it...weight for it...
99d               
35
15
Scott Rogowsky @ScottRogowsky
"Shawarma Police"

That's all I got today, folks. Sorry.
99d               
4
Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman
"Playing the ponies" is the cutest sounding gambling problem.
99d               
48
4
Bobo is Gay @BoboisGay
@sammorril @amyschumer @RachelFeinstein Theyre both hilarious. Your show has been getting stronger with each episode.
99d in reply to sammorril               
1
Simon Cadel @SimonCadel
@sammorril So cool meeting you @CarolinesonBway #comedyclub
100d in reply to sammorril               
1
Gary Gulman @GaryGulman
@ianeberle: @todd_shaak Check out @GaryGulman. He's famous but he replies to people and he's fun.”Walk w/ kings but keep the common touch!
100d in reply to ianeberle               
4
Artie Lange @artiequitter
Mario Lopez is on Bethenny!!!
101d               
43
12
ALEX GONZALES @alexgonzales21
@sammorril pic.twitter.com/3E5xZdr0nu
101d in reply to sammorril               
1
Scott Raab @ScottRaab64
Nice work, Chris Grant. Very nice work.
101d               
11
10
Tommy Johnagin @tommyjohnagin
I hope at some point during The Monuments Men while they're saving art they at least talk about also saving some Jews
101d               
19
8
Brian Koppelman @briankoppelman
@patdixon @GaryGulman @SammyKoppelman no no, that's when he says, "I'm hanging with @sammorril and @DanSoder."
102d in reply to patdixon               
2
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