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ImageNameLocationTwitter sinceLinks
Ol'Beardy Wan Kenobi2011-05-23
@Grind_n_Roll1,185 days
STUPERB
FollowersFollowingTweetsListsFavorites
6,7441,30063,808475184,365
We found 200 favorite tweets.
Kristen Moore @pixie_moore
@Grind_n_Roll @adamjest I am old enough to actually remember that movie.
1h in reply to Grind_n_Roll               
1
SteveMcqueef @SteveMcQueef_
@Grind_n_Roll sideways smiley....
4h in reply to Grind_n_Roll               
1
SteveMcqueef @SteveMcQueef_
flex it baby
5h               
2
SteveMcqueef @SteveMcQueef_
i can smell dogshit because ive stood in dogshit and its on your carpet and im going before you notice...
5h               
4
SteveMcqueef @SteveMcQueef_
hope its been hell without me...hope some of you didnt make it...
5h               
5
SteveMcqueef @SteveMcQueef_
can you believe they let me back on? no me niether
5h               
7
3
SteveMcqueef @SteveMcQueef_
that guy in my garden has big muscles and looks bronze and is my mrs
5h               
6
1
SteveMcqueef @SteveMcQueef_
im pissing in your general direction....
5h               
4
SteveMcqueef @SteveMcQueef_
i do typos on purpose because your kid is a piece of shit
5h               
2
SteveMcqueef @SteveMcQueef_
Got that dreaded call from an ex today saying i should get tested for HIV...tit ook me back to when i was supposed to call her months ago
5h               
4
SteveMcqueef @SteveMcQueef_
after sex my shits look like chocolate eclairs
5h               
2
SteveMcqueef @SteveMcQueef_
stupid with a hint of bastard tweet
5h               
5
1
SteveMcqueef @SteveMcQueef_
sticks and stones may break my bones but i usually just wank them off until they are soft
5h               
4
SteveMcqueef @SteveMcQueef_
a wise man once said "shut your fucking hole"....
5h               
4
Rick Savagé @SavageRick_
@Grind_n_Roll lol
5h in reply to Grind_n_Roll               
1
SteveMcqueef @SteveMcQueef_
Return of the mack....
6h               
11
1
dust biddy @crowsounds
But I'm pretty great when you get to know me OUTSIDE of pinball
11h               
17
6
KEEGAN WA666ETT @keegantts
Today I tried to start conversations with all four of my bosses about the new Pallbearer record.
12h               
7
2
KEEGAN WA666ETT @keegantts
Q: What do you call depression caused too many video games?
A: Ennwii. *leans back and cracks knuckles as "The Boys Are Back In Town" plays*
12h               
4
1
Boner Killer @sugarsnatch
I'm not a good wiper.
18h               
7
1
Fingers of Fury @Quikfingers2
If I pull my ass cheeks far enough and fart it sounds like the cartoon car from the Jetson's
19h               
11
3
Fingers of Fury @Quikfingers2
If I pull my foreskin up to my dick head, it looks like Steve Buscemi in a tuxedo.
19h               
5
Fingers of Fury @Quikfingers2
I wipe my anus with that big knife from Crocodile Dundee.
19h               
5
1
Fingers of Fury @Quikfingers2
Another month or so my pocket pussy made entirely of ear wax should be complete.
20h               
4
Herpee Slurpee @Herp_Twerp
Fried chicken skin is the only condom I'll ever need.
20h               
20
6
Fingers of Fury @Quikfingers2
*Invent's a toilet that reclines.*
20h               
19
13
Fingers of Fury @Quikfingers2
I hate when I pull my pants down to pee and can here my mom snickering behind the glory-hole.
21h               
7
1
Fingers of Fury @Quikfingers2
Pussy so dry it crackles like pop rocks
21h               
11
5
Fingers of Fury @Quikfingers2
I pant like an exhausted dog after I'm done masturbating.
21h               
8
5
Fingers of Fury @Quikfingers2
I pretend I'm cruising around town with your bitch on the back of my bike. And by pretend I mean my blow up doll behind me on the toilet.
22h               
11
5
Dick Marcs @DickMarcs
*Chases cars just because dogs do it.
23h               
2
Pessimistic Doom @MYLITTLEHUGGLES
I read every single facebook status update as if it is sarcasm.
23h               
4
not a zombie @Raging_Zombie
Penis’s are awesome!!

-or so says my three year old son.

He is sad for my lack of penis.
23h               
11
Shkeeber @shkeeber
BREAKING NEWS: Millions duped by ice bucket challenge created by man with fetish for seeing erect nipples through wet tshirts... More at 11.
23h               
75
47
Tommytoughstuff @Tommytoughstuff
*Pinhead sinks to the bottom of the pool wrapped in another deflated raft*
1d               
20
7
Wilde Thing @WildeThingy
I think my favourite suggested name for the male nipple was hisnips.

Though I did like Pierced Brosnans too.
1d in reply to WildeThingy               
54
25
Pessimistic Doom @MYLITTLEHUGGLES
I have a tiny penis.
1d               
4
1
Rock @TheMichaelRock
Easy there, hot shot. The internet wouldn't miss any of us if we left.
1d               
183
106
Slam Squat-Thrust @Gre_Gone
MY CURSED RUNES BRING ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD
AND THEY'RE LIKE / ENCHANTED WITH CHARMS
I COMMAND THEM / HORDES OLDER THAN STARS
1d               
163
98
because freedom @SBlovesFreedom
@Grind_n_Roll brilliant tweet
1d in reply to Grind_n_Roll               
1
Fingers of Fury @Quikfingers2
I fingered a chick with a huge clit and stinky pussy, turns out she had a nut sack and I was in her asshole.
1d               
9
1
100 Pound Boner @osno13
i like to smoke e-cigs and eat kale when i have time off from the glory hole
1d               
24
3
Fingers of Fury @Quikfingers2
Fleshlight but with a can of dog food.
1d               
29
14
Asswipe @SurlyJon
I haven't had this much fun on the machine in a long time
1d               
9
1
Asswipe @SurlyJon
It's almost 6, time to morph out of your human form.
1d               
24
6
Asswipe @SurlyJon
I will say smooth peanut butter makes a better window tint
1d               
22
7
Doomy Huggles @OptimisticDoom
Speaking of nut butters...go shower.
1d               
9
2
Asswipe @SurlyJon
You'll never find a hair in your Brazil nut butter sandwich.
1d               
19
6
Asswipe @SurlyJon
My daughter likes sun butter so everyone's allowed one free punch
1d               
21
7
KWB @KittyWittyBang
My last fart sounded like an entire jar full of smooth peanut butter being thrown at wet parking garage floor.
1d               
10
2
Asswipe @SurlyJon
I just made my own Nutella
1d               
15
4
Doomy Huggles @OptimisticDoom
*fills water pistol with peanut oil*
1d               
10
1
KWB @KittyWittyBang
God gave your child a severe peanut allergy because you should have aborted.
1d               
13
3
Asswipe @SurlyJon
Has no one brought up cashew butter, or is that too fancy?
1d               
16
4
Asswipe @SurlyJon
It's like various legume butter wars on the machine right now.
1d               
16
5
Asswipe @SurlyJon
I freeze sticks of butter so I can jam a pencil in and have a tasty mid morning snack.
1d               
20
6
Asswipe @SurlyJon
I have the personality of a stick of butter
1d               
15
6
Asswipe @SurlyJon
Good morning, people who aren't impersonating me.
1d               
19
5
100 Pound Boner @osno13
my third ball is longer than the other two cause that's the one i suck when i'm nervous
1d               
26
4
100 Pound Boner @osno13
i only shit standing up like a real man
1d               
26
10
100 Pound Boner @osno13
i put your moms crotchless panties on my head and now it looks like i'm wearing a sleeveless moo moo
1d               
38
13
100 Pound Boner @osno13
check out my balls pic.twitter.com/WHV1KmdeU7
1d               
13
3
Gerald @ilunicorns
This has taken a turn for the boring.
1d               
3
1
100 Pound Boner @osno13
it's weird being the only person on here that doesn't say stupid shit
1d               
48
11
CuntSmith @csmith5050
Welcome to Fat Fuck Club, glad you could all Skype in for the meeting, now if you'd look down and repeat after me:

I CAN'T SEE MY DICK
1d               
49
15
100 Pound Boner @osno13
i can knock an e-cig out of my mouth with my wang doing the helicopter
1d               
39
11
100 Pound Boner @osno13
i always keep a razor blade under my tongue in case i go to jail and have to shave my bh
1d               
42
12
GOAT @goatwhore666
I only use SPF 15 on my dong.
1d               
12
5
Herpee Slurpee @Herp_Twerp
I have my first condom framed like some bullshit spic restaurants first dollar bill.
1d               
11
KWB @KittyWittyBang
When I wipe with my sock I don't even take it off my foot first.
1d               
20
5
Herpee Slurpee @Herp_Twerp
I power my phone with an e-cig.
1d               
18
2
Herpee Slurpee @Herp_Twerp
My ballsack looks like a baseball with no wrinkles.
1d               
10
5
Herpee Slurpee @Herp_Twerp
My penis tip has a pube afro with a bald spot on top.
1d               
8
Chim ney @FreshCigarette
Don't waste your cigarette money by having children
1d               
910
698
Herpee Slurpee @Herp_Twerp
I tripped and ripped my condom open, but I got back up and kept fucking her.
1d               
15
1
100 Pound Boner @osno13
i eat my armpit hair until my tweet gets three stars
1d               
23
1
Asswipe @SurlyJon
All my piss is bottled and stored in the coat closet
1d               
13
4
Asswipe @SurlyJon
If I drink less than 14 beers a day my wife slaps me and calls me a bitch
1d               
21
9
Asswipe @SurlyJon
I showed that lil turd pusher
1d               
7
3
Asswipe @SurlyJon
My second job is posing as a pair of Truck Nutz
1d               
20
6
LilyVonSexualTornado @SveldtSmelt
You must be really fucking bored with your life to tweet about current events. Jokes or gtfo.
1d               
5
1
100 Pound Boner @osno13
i like to put my legs behind my head and sing the national anthem into my boner
1d               
44
17
SoulCoffin @SoulYodeler
What jackass named this cocoa butter? It tastes like ass.
1d               
137
61
MR HAND @SniffMyPickle
This is perfect unitard weather.
1d               
68
35
Asswipe @SurlyJon
I wanna see one of you jerk offs slaughter the fucking pig
1d               
9
Asswipe @SurlyJon
MORE BACON TWEETS FROM THE POPULAR PEOPLE, PLEASE
1d               
33
10
CuntSmith @csmith5050
Incontinence makes the shart blow yonder
1d               
39
16
Asswipe @SurlyJon
I'll let my kid get tattooed before he can have a fucking mohawk
1d               
29
10
CzickenShack @CzickenShack
I sharpened the corners of my library card so that I can also use it as a throwing star.
1d               
83
29
BingeDrinkingFatTwat @ShitMonkCunt
@Whelmk @Grind_n_Roll greatest death scene ever
2d in reply to Whelmk               
2
PETE © @Whelmk
@Grind_n_Roll @ShitMonkCunt pic.twitter.com/I4nzrACSOt
2d in reply to Grind_n_Roll               
2
Pessimistic Doom @MYLITTLEHUGGLES
If you don't give strangers free access to your anus you are just not giving 100%
2d               
3
China Cat @ChinaCatCrystal
Been trying to eat really clean lately
*takes a bite out of a sponge*
I feel so much healthier
*just chugs some pine-sol out of the bottle*
2d               
13
6
Holy Guacamole @MadamBetteNoire
I'm thinking of a number between one and go get fucked
2d               
34
14
BingeDrinkingFatTwat @ShitMonkCunt
Tonight's movie is the original robocop. God I love this film. Blood letting splatter house violence and huge machine guns. Perfect.
2d               
8
2
mr. fisher @brocketxyz
"Well, this day has been productive," I say, organizing the paper clips on my desk by malleability and shine.
2d               
81
38
Doomgakov @Mahogany_0000
My favorite Rob tweet was the one where he revealed that he "self-taught himself" to read. It was precious like a downsy kicking a ball.
2d               
9
Lorenzo Benzos @WeirdHerald
I'm starting a fucking jug-band. I'm gonna play the kazoo.
2d               
16
4
GoaT FacE ThrillA @EndhooS
He died doing what he loved, waiting for his hands to dry completely under a washroom hand dryer.
2d               
66
19
CuntSmith @csmith5050
This anorexic broad going HAM on the elliptical must be allergic to cheeseburgers.
2d               
31
8
meaty t @meat_tornado_
im using a rolling pin on my thighs but not sexually .
2d               
8
nige [ham] @koalaslament
during the summer months I like to cool down my family by spinning my pony tail around really fast like a ceiling fan
2d               
69
24
Doomgakov @Mahogany_0000
Before you pay $ for a boob job, make sure your teeth aren't fucked up.
2d               
16
5
HaikuVonLips @haikuhag
I woke up feeling
Like I probably did some
Sleep twerking last night
2d               
15
5
GoaT FacE ThrillA @EndhooS
A fun way to get fired from McDonald's is to toss a live salmon into peoples cars when they pull up at the drive-thru window.
2d               
82
34
meaty t @meat_tornado_
that time i was walking home with a large pizza and guys drove passed and yelled "nice tits bicth"
2d               
9
GoaT FacE ThrillA @EndhooS
I SAID NO PARKOUR AT WORK
"He's being chased by a b-
& NO BREAK DANCING
"HE'S ALLERGIC TO BEES"
ON YOUR FEET JONES.
"HE'S HAVING A SEIZURE"
2d               
51
8
Asswipe @SurlyJon
(Burt Reynolds voice)
2d               
4
Mr. Sunshine @RickNothing
Old punk rockers running hedge funds, whilst old metalheads are trimming hedges for a living. Who's the poseur now?
2d               
18
2
Clown_Orb @ClownOrb
I'm waiting for "kicked in the balls for testicular cancer" to go viral
2d               
33
16
HaikuVonLips @haikuhag
Think of me as the
Condom that floats by while you're
Swimming at the beach
3d               
51
21
Noir @Go2Slp
Your mom must like Whitesnake cuz here she goes again on my bone.
3d               
54
26
Kelgore Trout @KelgoreTrout
goldminers invented jeans because it holds poop in better than skirts
3d               
23
3
Brent @murrman5
[sitting kids down before wife gets home from work]
"now what do we say if mommy asks if there was a monkey in the house today"
3d               
337
112
Holy Guacamole @MadamBetteNoire
For the love of Christ, eat some carbs you cranky cunt.
3d               
146
57
Herpee Slurpee @Herp_Twerp
I saw a bee today.
3d               
17
1
Herpee Slurpee @Herp_Twerp
I shake my right leg real fast if you scratch my head.
3d               
11
2
BULL @ItsDaveHimself_
When I was 8 yrs old I told my dad I liked the Miami Dolphins uniforms. He called me a faggot and made me get him another beer.
3d               
38
10
BULL @ItsDaveHimself_
I make prison wine. I've never even been arrested, I just like the taste.
3d               
23
8
Herpee Slurpee @Herp_Twerp
Just ate a six month supply of my dogs heart worm medication because it tasted good.
3d               
10
2
Herpee Slurpee @Herp_Twerp
My mom thinks everyone online is "out to get me", but I know better.
3d               
12
4
Herpee Slurpee @Herp_Twerp
Mom calls me honey cause I'm sweet.
3d               
7
BULL @ItsDaveHimself_
I'm just here for Turd's magic tricks.
3d               
8
2
Herpee Slurpee @Herp_Twerp
I cut lines in the hair strips that grow on my shaft for traction.
3d               
6
Suicide Blonde @san22sbs
@Grind_n_Roll hahahaga ;)
3d in reply to Grind_n_Roll               
1
ManJuggs @ManJuggs
Salmon colored condoms.
3d               
13
4
Herpee Slurpee @Herp_Twerp
I know karate.
3d               
10
3
Herpee Slurpee @Herp_Twerp
Whenever I eat popcorn I complain about my goddamn teeth, like really loud.
3d               
6
1
Suicide Blonde @san22sbs
I'm only up this late so I don't have to fuck my husband
3d               
21
6
Herpee Slurpee @Herp_Twerp
I get all sweaty and weird when I eat cheese.
3d               
28
13
Herpee Slurpee @Herp_Twerp
I need help fitting my balls inside you.
3d               
23
4
Suicide Blonde @san22sbs
There needs to be an app where I get to smash your face off my screen .
3d               
2
Herpee Slurpee @Herp_Twerp
Just drank an entire can of hairspray.
3d               
8
2
Suicide Blonde @san22sbs
Two pumps and a squirt , that's how far you'll get before I start laughing at your piss poor attempt at fucking
3d               
7
Suicide Blonde @san22sbs
Men in masks are normally hiding a tiny penis
3d               
7
1
Suicide Blonde @san22sbs
In an ideal world you'd be dead and I'd be pissing on your grave
3d               
11
4
Suicide Blonde @san22sbs
I still don't fucking like you
3d               
7
2
Herpee Slurpee @Herp_Twerp
I tilt my condoms to the side when I cum in them so it doesn't get all foamy.
3d               
13
5
Suicide Blonde @san22sbs
People who hang themselves are just attention seekers
3d               
2
Suicide Blonde @san22sbs
I hate it when I wake up and my family's not dead.
3d               
4
Suicide Blonde @san22sbs
Boo fucking hoo
3d               
3
Suicide Blonde @san22sbs
You only got cancer coz god thought you had shit hair
3d               
2
Suicide Blonde @san22sbs
<--- mother of the year
3d               
6
Suicide Blonde @san22sbs
Time to lose some driftwood
3d               
2
Suicide Blonde @san22sbs
Men who use emojis have tight fannys
3d               
3
Suicide Blonde @san22sbs
I hate it when I run a kid over and it marks my paintwork .
3d               
3
Suicide Blonde @san22sbs
There's nothing petrol and matches can't solve
3d               
8
4
Suicide Blonde @san22sbs
Sometimes I'm a dickhead. But most of the time I stick to being a cunt
3d               
2
Suicide Blonde @san22sbs
No body hates you like I do
3d               
5
Suicide Blonde @san22sbs
My hubby said he fancied an early night so I knocked him out and put him to bed .
3d               
6
Suicide Blonde @san22sbs
The best thing about spastics is the moaning when you fuck them
3d               
3
Rick Savagé @SavageRick_
my urethra also doubles as a safe place for refugees
3d               
6
5
Rick Savagé @SavageRick_
ive never been with a woman who agreed to it
3d               
3
1
Suicide Blonde @san22sbs
I'm still looking for that fuck you think I give.
3d               
2
Suicide Blonde @san22sbs
Remember ladies the way to a mans heart is anal
3d               
35
12
Suicide Blonde @san22sbs
My dildo is just granddads false leg
3d               
14
2
Suicide Blonde @san22sbs
In the morning I won't regret this
3d               
15
8
Suicide Blonde @san22sbs
Spastics point and laugh at me
3d               
4
Suicide Blonde @san22sbs
Men with fanny packs are my favourite spastics
3d               
5
Rick Savagé @SavageRick_
ive been cock deep in most of the women on the internet
4d               
1
1
Rick Savagé @SavageRick_
my girlfriend is a plus size babe,,,HIV plus
4d               
1
1
Lt. L.T. Deer @tinydinosaurs
Madonna turned 8 billion years old today
4d               
60
33
Bendy Toes @BendyToes
I suspect that passing a kettle through my anus would be less painful and time consuming than my turd
4d               
3
1
MosHAM @__Moshy
All I heard was the power of christ compels you during today's morning dump.
4d               
9
2
FaveteLinguis @Favetelinguiss
Papers are full of celebs killing themselves or involved in sex offences.Thank god there are no wars or outbreaks of disease to report on
4d               
4
btemps @btemps
Hot chicks don't take shits but man my wife sure does.
4d               
4
Baby Coffin @sblmnl_crmnl
The worst thing I ever did in my life was pop out of my mama's pussy.
4d               
2
BingeDrinkingFatTwat @ShitMonkCunt
The old man in the queue next to me stinks of fart.

You'll have to take my word for it.
4d               
4
Carrie DirtyPillows @mrsverve
Fuckin shut up about yer 'wedding diet', ya scrawny boot.
4d               
5
2
Terry F @daemonic3
No, YOU v w x y and z.
4d               
69
32
Nina Beretta @NowYouSeeHer
Comfortably bummed
4d               
12
4
mrs. rodhlann @sighgarette
i don't need feminism because my vagina is growing shark teeth
4d               
58
18
MR HAND @SniffMyPickle
Thanks but I'm not "accepting" tweets right now.
4d               
19
1
MR HAND @SniffMyPickle
I'm "on" now guys. Can you please log off I'd like to be alone.
4d               
29
5
Herpee Slurpee @Herp_Twerp
Gonna fuck these pancakes in the ass.
4d               
16
1
Carrie DirtyPillows @mrsverve
Crazy controlling Wife on yer Facebook? Can't interact with anyone with a pair of tits? I'll post on your wall aaaalllll day.
4d               
6
KWB @KittyWittyBang
*invents smart remote*
4d               
7
Rusty @GayDeceiver
"How was the date?"
"Beard. Tatts. Cool hairdo. Virgin cotton scarf."
"You never left your apartment?"
"Yup."
"Slut"
"Worth it"
4d               
16
2
Acacia @AintNoFamily
My girlfriend cums the hardest while diddling herself to pictures of me sensually eating a banana.
4d               
9
Alan Bo Anderson @alb1690
Can't sleep. My dick keeps poking me in the ribs.
4d               
4
Alan Bo Anderson @alb1690
*strokes fringe*
4d               
1
Alan Bo Anderson @alb1690
I'm a nightmare - dick wise
4d               
1
Alan Bo Anderson @alb1690
I sniff panties and glue
4d               
5
Alan Bo Anderson @alb1690
When you're trying to guess which girls like to be shat on and it turns out to be all of them... THAT!
4d               
2
Alan Bo Anderson @alb1690
The wind is picking up "down there"
4d               
1
Alan Bo Anderson @alb1690
grind and roll is on, guise
4d               
4
1
Alan Bo Anderson @alb1690
I can give myself road head
4d               
17
5
Alan Bo Anderson @alb1690
I get all my prudish gash from Facebook
4d               
2
Alan Bo Anderson @alb1690
Me and Mother like to go cycling on the tandem
4d               
3
1
Alan Bo Anderson @alb1690
I have a twin exhaust style asshole
4d               
4
1
Dogman Al @DogmanAl
Nice salmon shirt you pink wearing fuck
4d               
10
2
Alan Bo Anderson @alb1690
Might talk about my feelings and shit
4d               
3
Alan Bo Anderson @alb1690
My genitals are imposing
4d               
4
3
Doomy Huggles @OptimisticDoom
I'm bored and I like your brain you fucking idiot. Don't assign a motivation to it
4d               
6
1
Alan Bo Anderson @alb1690
Take your lips off my cock, I'm trying to express myself online, you fucking stupid bitch
4d               
3
Alan Bo Anderson @alb1690
Gargling some funky shit idek
4d               
2
Alan Bo Anderson @alb1690
Rolling m'foreskin up n' down haha
4d               
2
BULL @ItsDaveHimself_
I'm masturbating with my mouth right now.
4d               
14
2
Herpee Slurpee @Herp_Twerp
Ate a lot of bugs tonight.
4d               
14
4
Herpee Slurpee @Herp_Twerp
No one is watching me.
4d               
9
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