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LukeChesterfield2011-01-27
@Lukooper1,182 days
There's always a bigger fish.
FollowersFollowingTweetsListsFavorites
36422519,42221,054
We found 171 favorite tweets.
HarryPotterReactions @PotterReacts
"Remember when you used to go out with...?" pic.twitter.com/LzrQUuA7xR
17h               
496
376
dais @_daissss
#NationalSendYourManNudesDay lol
17h               
1
jade squires @jadesquiresox
@ActorTrivia: Hitler was a huge Disney fan”. OT OH
1d in reply to ActorTrivia               
4
izzy hampson @IzzyHampson
So we've established tonight that @Lukooper has the lungs of a little girl when it comes to swimming underwater
1d               
1
The SPORT Bible @TSBible
If Liverpool do win the league Kolo Toure will be the first ever player to win the Premier League with 3 different clubs.
3d               
931
1,339
dais @_daissss
Only 10% of people who tweet about 420 will actually get high today
3d               
3
2
Life Pro Tips @perform
1. Enter code: 432112311 into a vending machine. 2. Quickly press & hold the coin return button. 3. Change will fall into the tray. #TryIt
6d               
2,630
467
Hannah @hannahbolton_
My dad is named after Gary Glitter.
7d               
5
dais @_daissss
nighttime prayers pic.twitter.com/d4F0MoM0Vz
9d               
2
1
GrahamMonteith @GrahamMonteith
Squeezed 7 people in the taxi, Sam was naked and my shoe got thrown out the window. How the taxi driver didn't throw us I will never know.
9d               
2
¢ƃuıʞ¢nɟɹɐunl @LunarCFT
not really but i hope you atleast get a really bad cold or stand on a plug with no shoes on
9d               
26
13
GrahamMonteith @GrahamMonteith
Went out for a pint, Sam is getting in the treble vodkas in first round.
9d               
1
LiverpoolLogic @LiverpoolLogic
Ronaldo went to Real for £80m. Sterling now is better than Ronaldo was then. Bill Gates couldnt afford young Raheem.
9d               
59
94
Liverpool FC @LFC
PHOTO: #teamspirit pic.twitter.com/RwoBBNqh3c
9d               
2,470
2,512
Simon Mignolet @SMignolet
Long 90 minutes today but we got through because of great team spirit and everyone's support! #YNWA #4togo pic.twitter.com/nq0syPC62k
9d               
4,762
4,676
Liverpool FC @LFC
Another afternoon to remember at Anfield... #LFC pic.twitter.com/YqCrzMbSsF
9d               
2,958
4,214
LiverpoolLogic @LiverpoolLogic
Just seen the Škrtel 'handball'. Ball to hand for me.
9d               
60
106
Gary Lineker @GaryLineker
I'm going to put my neutrality to one side and say I would love to see Steven Gerrard lift the Premier League trophy.
9d               
12,600
18,387
GrahamMonteith @GrahamMonteith
Stay happy and steaming and moisturised.
11d               
3
Grace Johnson @GraceJohnson_
At 19 years old I still cut the crusts off bread
11d               
3
LiverpoolLogic @LiverpoolLogic
Moyes took over the champions AND spent £70m. If that was Brendan, he'd have won the Prem, World Cup, The Voice & headlined Glastonbury.
13d               
983
1,915
Amy Murch-ison @murchamoo
@girlposts: me at prom vine.co/v/MMUJbv5YDWI@jamillusi0n @NiccNoo @Killjoy_zoe me in moo
16d in reply to girlposts               
5
3
LiverpoolLogic @LiverpoolLogic
I'm surprised Carroll didn't tag the Undertaker in to finish Mignolet off with a tombstone Piledriver.
16d               
195
444
Just Josh @FeelinCasual
'Dont push a dragon' - Luke cooper @Lukooper
17d               
1
¢ƃuıʞ¢nɟɹɐunl @LunarCFT
i heard they are selling fake @BOISHT clothes in leeds market hahaha We made it
18d               
44
19
LiverpoolLogic @LiverpoolLogic
You know Maradonas 'Goal of the Century' against England in '86? Flanno would've tackled him by the half way line.
23d               
169
253
Guy Lawrence @guylawrence_
If someone weighs 99kg and eats 1kg of Doritos does that mean they are 1% Dorito
23d               
12
5
ლ(ಠ益ಠლ) @talktojb
If you can't handle me at my Magikarp, you don't deserve me at my Gyarados.
23d               
6
5
GrahamMonteith @GrahamMonteith
Hearing that there is a ketamine drought in Britain at the minute. Probably explains why the flat is so down this week.
26d               
5
3
GrahamMonteith @GrahamMonteith
Nathan Wade had never had Pasta until 2013. He also never had lasagne until Saturday. How is that even a thing.
29d               
10
Perspective Pictures @Perspective_pic
pic.twitter.com/5ZBjDqxwTB
30d               
397
363
Best Text Messages @BestOfTexts
Pet zoned.. pic.twitter.com/QlHvqoZzlG
30d               
12,573
11,297
GrahamMonteith @GrahamMonteith
All I can remember is being sick over my toilet till 6am, but there is only one way to cure a hangover #staysteaming
32d               
5
Matt Hawkins @MatthewHawkins_
just thought the print on our your demise tops would make a sick tatt @Lukooper #iwantit
34d               
1
WORLD STAR @FunnyWorldStar
turned my goldfish into a dolphin pic.twitter.com/Nz7ifwxB9z
37d               
1,044
1,013
izzy hampson @IzzyHampson
Roadworks have killed my Internet and phone line. That means I can't watch the new walking dead 😭😱😥 #firstworldproblems
41d               
3
Samm ☺ @Samm_Day
@CuntsWatching pic.twitter.com/7aTF42tFn1
41d in reply to CuntsWatching               
4
ლ(ಠ益ಠლ) @talktojb
There's a class at my gym where they just run around with those plastic weights whilst Metallica plays... for an hour.
42d               
2
dais @_daissss
ima make a female equivalent of steak nd bj day involving chicken
42d               
1
izzy hampson @IzzyHampson
I'm that scared of change I'm still on IOS 6, how am I going to cope with uni in September
42d               
6
2
GrahamMonteith @GrahamMonteith
Block, block, block. Kick.
43d               
2
GrahamMonteith @GrahamMonteith
Red shirt your dad's Gary glitter. And you've got no fans.
43d               
3
cheyenne mottishaw @ch3y_mottishaw
Doax memes r best pic.twitter.com/SH4KOOMQjS
51d               
9
2
Matt Hawkins @MatthewHawkins_
literally had this trip to London planned for 8 months and its finally happening in two weeks #stoked #YDtour
51d               
1
Matt Hawkins @MatthewHawkins_
two weeks motherfuckers! @Lukooper @WhoIsSamThursby #YD
53d               
2
Matt Hawkins @MatthewHawkins_
never been so messy i shat mysef, poor effort hawkins
53d               
2
ლ(ಠ益ಠლ) @talktojb
I don't get people who slag off their football team during a bad game. You wouldn't talk shit about ya Mum if she did one bad Sunday dinner.
56d               
6
jade squires @jadesquiresox
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 @chloe_nalty pic.twitter.com/CqBkiTkBlv
67d               
2
1
Emma Crinks @Emmacrinks
Somebody on the bus smells of cat food
68d               
1
Tom White @Tom_White94
It's cool to have 50 cent on snapchat pic.twitter.com/84P2AAPUPA
69d               
3
Melissa Horner @melhorner1
Oh lukey what are you like @Lukooper pic.twitter.com/WS8ypZ2ZtN
71d               
1
2
Meg @MegDunham
Smashed his girlfriends window, cut his hand in the process, lost his phone and ripped his boxers somehow #adventuresoflukecooper @Lukooper
72d               
6
2
Dougie Poynter @dougiemcfly
pic.twitter.com/GpcbHeyAaZ
74d               
935
764
Matt Hawkins @MatthewHawkins_
Got vodka for tonight, but i definitely need more vodka. Can never have too much vodka #famouslastwords
75d               
1
Tom White @Tom_White94
Hats off to @Nallehhh for finally beating the #3yeargraft
76d               
3
1
ლ(ಠ益ಠლ) @talktojb
Never gets old pic.twitter.com/VSxQ1BVYVj
76d               
1
1
izzy hampson @IzzyHampson
Took and Brandybuck logic, they know pic.twitter.com/c7PZaYFg3L
77d               
3
2
dais @_daissss
Literally me if I don't get into uni pic.twitter.com/wxHbNMqBJ1
79d               
2
Meg @MegDunham
At jacks family party and his little cousin decides to ask infront of a room full of his family 'are you two in love?' #thankskid #awks
80d               
4
Just Josh @FeelinCasual
@Lukooper the first ten min you were tensing so bad I thought you were going to shit yourself
82d in reply to Lukooper               
1
1
Chloe Potts @chloeleanneee
do we go bummers woods?! 😂😂😂😂 @KirstyIona95
83d               
1
Daniel Sturridge @D_Sturridge
Hey hey hey.. 4-0 victory and bragging rights in Liverpool... Guess I'm not good at pens!! Glory to God #grateful pic.twitter.com/JycNiF7qLB
84d               
7,016
9,095
Melissa Horner @melhorner1
If @GrahamMonteith doesn't come out tonight he will be letting Corby down and will be labelled the biggest fanny in Sheffield #truth
84d               
3
Luke @Lukooper
Ready to put my fist through a wall.
85d               
1
ლ(ಠ益ಠლ) @talktojb
Kanye West Side Story #rapmusicals
86d               
1
2
Emma Crinks @Emmacrinks
What every child wants to hear ❤❤❤ pic.twitter.com/aeyhlRHFKn
88d               
6
1
Jennifer Lawrence @JLawrenceQuote
looking back on life like pic.twitter.com/BxvI8RXy7f
88d               
5,004
6,374
Lucy Smith @_lucykatesmith
Phil has started carrying Kinder Happy Hippos on him at all times "in case of emergencies"
90d               
4
1
lewis watson @levvis_
just spent the 2 hour drive back drumming the shit out of my steering wheel to fightstar. would give omar a run for his money x
90d               
105
16
Beck Dunkley @BeckieDunk
I don function properly in a morning. A bus said sinfin on it and in my head I read it as sniffing 🙈😂
91d               
1
K. Nally Esquire @Nallehhh
@Lukooper now on bbc 3
91d in reply to Lukooper               
2
Jack crook @jackpcrook
@sophmorrisob it hasn't changed a bit!
91d in reply to sophmorrisob               
3
dais @_daissss
X pic.twitter.com/b9C87Mmt1V
92d               
4
1
UberFacts @UberFacts
Daniel Radcliffe broke more than 80 wands while filming the Harry Potter movies because he would use them as drumsticks.
92d               
4,092
2,419
TheLADBible @TheLadBible
DogLAD pic.twitter.com/JzwjNsIVcx
92d               
1,925
1,517
Emma Crinks @Emmacrinks
Just got on the bus for free cause the driver can't work out how to do tickets #winning
93d               
1
CuntsWatching @CuntsWatching
I think I might know your role…. pic.twitter.com/yG1x8jxCBo
93d               
1,698
2,121
CuntsWatching @CuntsWatching
Quality fag BANTOOOOOR! pic.twitter.com/flN01HRjNs
94d               
2,989
4,575
Dom Paulucci @DomPaulucci
Just listened to Call Me Maybe 3 times in a row. No regrets.
96d               
3
Matt Hawkins @MatthewHawkins_
i swear if i get up tomorrow and the cleaners stealing someones teabags and milk again im gonna headbutt the wankstain
97d               
2
Joe Taylor @JoeyTay_8
only so much I can take of these pair talking abou dungeons and dragons
100d               
2
Matt Hawkins @MatthewHawkins_
Please fast forward me two weeks where ive done all my exams and its time to get absolutely chronic
101d               
1
1
MOZ @FuckMeZakMorris
What winds me up more than not going out tonight is that I've just found out I share the birthday with zayn from one direction.
102d               
4
marmite @CammmmyBear
Found out today that @JakeeBrock stole my jacket and sold it to @KurtisMorley for £10
103d               
8
izzy hampson @IzzyHampson
Offer from Warwick!! 😄 #thankfuck
104d               
9
Matt Hawkins @MatthewHawkins_
I thought everyone looked like a douche in a turtle neck sweater but apparently my lecturer is OG
106d               
1
Jon Brown @Jonbrownface
4 quid for a fucking day rider on a bus that smells of piss and my family wonders why I detest public transport.
106d               
1
1
Matt Hawkins @MatthewHawkins_
Todays plan was: do a lot of work, go to the gym. Todays reality: watch breaking bad, eat dominos.
107d               
1
Zach Braff @zachbraff
I wish weed advocates on the news didn't always look so stoned.
107d               
1,477
561
jade squires @jadesquiresox
@JakeeBrock I feel like a lightning bolt just hit the tip of my penis
107d in reply to JakeeBrock               
2
ßęñ @benHDGE
In Paris vine.co/v/hYmVg7Zxupp
109d               
1
Lord Sugar @Lord_Sugar
Just spent 1hr on phone with Comcast Xfinity in Florida.The conversation would make a movie.They are so bad you give up the will to live.
109d               
92
18
Bucky Isotope @BuckyIsotope
The sad thing about those dead Jedi force ghosts was that Luke was never able to masturbate in peace ever again.
109d               
128
27
Matt Hawkins @MatthewHawkins_
Packed absolutely everything i need to go back up newcastle @iam_londa pic.twitter.com/vtGH2gA8P2
109d               
2
1
jade squires @jadesquiresox
Ending of Dexter has seriously fucked with my head
110d               
2
1
Jack crook @jackpcrook
changes you into an intense motherfucker
110d               
4
Matt Hawkins @MatthewHawkins_
Seeing everyones NYE photos and thinking 'if only me and my friends didnt look so mashed on every photo taken'
110d               
1
1
Gary Lineker @GaryLineker
I see from my timeline that we are biased against all 20 PL teams. I promise that will change next season if Leicester are promoted.
111d               
1,446
1,083
K. Nally Esquire @Nallehhh
Knuckle walking black eyed hairless crawling spindly motherfucker what were you
111d               
1
K. Nally Esquire @Nallehhh
What was it? Will it get me? Spindly-crawler man please go home and sleep
111d               
1
Samm ☺ @Samm_Day
👏👏 pic.twitter.com/KZMOQ9J0k5
111d               
3
Gary Lineker @GaryLineker
When was Howard Webb sold by United? I must have missed that move in the transfer window.
111d               
5,281
12,330
Piers Morgan @piersmorgan
Just met Ian Chappell for 1st time. 'Hi, Mr Chappell, I'm Piers Morgan,' I said. 'Nah mate, you're a dickhead,' he replied. Meeting over!
112d               
2,292
4,695
Hannah @hannahbolton_
I feel really guilty that my cat is gonna be on her own at midnight #catswannacelebratetoo
113d               
2
Ryan Watters @RyaanWaatters
Good night with @CalHowie and @Lukooper !!!
113d               
2
Jon Brown @Jonbrownface
I would watch Toy Story 3 but Finding Nemo yesterday was too much emotional madness and I think this one would just send me over the edge.
118d               
2
1
K. Nally Esquire @Nallehhh
CHRISTMAS IS CANCELLED NO SOCKS OR SMELLS I AM DISAPPOINTED MY DAY IS RUINED. NO FUCKING STARMIX EITHER WHAT THE FUCK SANTA
119d               
5
Dom Paulucci @DomPaulucci
We can't open one of the drawers in the freezer because it's got too much pizza in #ItalianLife
121d               
5
K. Nally Esquire @Nallehhh
i have 3 litres of frosty jacks, a hell of a lot of cookery programs, and no food. Bring it on you frodgey bast
121d               
1
Gemma Leanne @GemmaMulvy
Hahaha still drunk.
124d               
2
L Boy @TheLukeBruce
@BenMallender snorting creatine gets it into your muscles faster
125d in reply to BenMallender               
3
UberFacts @UberFacts
Leonardo DiCaprio & Samuel L. Jackson pic.twitter.com/Vss98FviMk
126d               
6,580
4,967
LiverpoolLogic @LiverpoolLogic
I'd genuinely let Flanno finger my sister.
128d               
128
198
REMISDEAD @LessThanRem
Girl I shagged in napa has found me on Facebook and told me she's 5 months pregnant. Fuckkkk.
131d               
11,037
13,400
leonieverley @leeeonix
@Samm_Day Friend: want to go out tonight?

Me: pic.twitter.com/1X2eAydhWG
135d               
4
Robert Pattison @robthebaconcob
Love coming out for a fag in the morning and giving judgemental looks to everyone on the morning after walk
136d               
2
ლ(ಠ益ಠლ) @talktojb
A woman waved at me from outside the gym. I didn't know what to do because I had weights in my hands. I winked and now feel rate dirty.
136d               
4
ლ(ಠ益ಠლ) @talktojb
I'm so confident that my multivitamins and diet are so good right now that I would let an ill person sneeze into my open mouth.
145d               
3
Dragon @JakeeBrock
Give my mum 1 job!! To get me a champions league sticker book an she comes back with a frickin card book!! #notgotaclue #1job
146d               
2
1
marmite @CammmmyBear
I sat on a kit-Kat to warm it up because it had been in the fridge and I can't find it
146d               
3
Matt Hawkins @MatthewHawkins_
that girl last night deffo wanted the D #nexttime
146d               
4
Nick Evans @nickevans93
@Lukooper that's deep
149d in reply to Lukooper               
1
Mark Orchard @MarkOrchardd
dropped some kanye on the house party last night, heartless went off
150d               
2
Matt Hawkins @MatthewHawkins_
#mashed
150d               
1
Samm ☺ @Samm_Day
7 hour shift whilst I'm still pissed can only end badly.
152d               
3
jade squires @jadesquiresox
Just sang out loud on the bus... It's embarrassing at the best of times but when it's zero to hero - Disney's Hercules... Errrrr 😳😳😳
154d               
4
Men's Humor @MensHumor
Oxford Dictionary named "Selfie" the word of the year. Stop the planet, I want to get off. pic.twitter.com/u5rcfWTXRx
154d               
1,300
2,728
D.N.A™ @DNA_GTFOH
In 2014 before I retire I will be the Don't Flop Champion @DontFlop @twitteurgh
156d               
6
2
Chloe Potts @chloeleanneee
being woken up to a bladdered boyfriend being sick everywhere is not the one
158d               
2
Meg Fret @meganrosefret
Today @FuckMeZakMorris tried to purchase mcbusted tickets whilst I just bought my @Steel_Panther tickets.. Is there something wrong here?
158d               
2
1
Oli Constable @OliConstable
Said "love you" to the guy in Burton's. I think my life is over
161d               
17
Tom White @Tom_White94
'McBusted' sounds like Ronald McDonald's catchphrase if he was in a police themed porno
161d               
10
4
Historical Pics @HistoricalPics
The only known photograph of Einstein deriving his famous equation E=mc^2 pic.twitter.com/WK5iCmI4RS
162d               
1,101
1,142
Beck Dunkley @BeckieDunk
I just want to sit, be depressed and get fat. Fat people are always happy. Fuck knows why though.
162d               
2
1
Kerry Sanderson @kerrysando
Omg i miss @Lukooper pic.twitter.com/RJDcEdqnvU
162d               
2
Matt Hawkins @MatthewHawkins_
Not bragging but i have some of the fucking funniest stories
163d               
1
Piers Morgan @piersmorgan
Right now, correct > RT @DavidBourk @piersmorgan Has to be the saddest, most miserable human being on the planet.
163d in reply to BavidDourke               
122
243
TheLADBible @TheLadBible
ProtestLAD pic.twitter.com/GJxKHpiHID
164d               
554
535
hilary @JackG15
My earliest memory is clinging onto my mothers teet whilst she sang total eclipse of the heart to me.
167d               
2
Lucy Smith @_lucykatesmith
Is life worth living now @tribesband have split up?
167d               
3
1
marmite @CammmmyBear
Haha just seen a status saying 'can anybody sort a ten?
168d               
1
Jon Brown @Jonbrownface
I've just been introduced to a child who might be infested by Satan.
170d               
1
L Boy @TheLukeBruce
Might never stop drinking. Today could be the day I become an alcoholic
171d               
1
Best Vines @TheFunnyVines
Where them fish titties at? vine.co/v/hjMp29HzKWI
171d               
7,068
9,007
leonieverley @leeeonix
TO THE IDIOT WHAT STOLE MY PHONE.... can I have it back please?
173d               
1
dais @_daissss
... pic.twitter.com/T5cB1JPENd
174d               
3
Matt Hawkins @MatthewHawkins_
mum and dad are fucking coming down tomorrow, beds still covered in wank stains and theres bits of bud all over the floor!
175d               
4
1
MOZ @FuckMeZakMorris
Today's beeriod is unreal.
177d               
1
Zach Braff @zachbraff
The alien abduction was horrible. But the snuggling post anal probe was gentle and heartfelt. #NASA
178d               
566
383
Adam Hess @adamhess1
I don't trust any newspapers which have a 'Page 3' for the same reason I wouldn't trust News At Ten if Trevor McDonald had his dick out.
179d               
118
250
Emma Crinks @Emmacrinks
The most exciting part of my day is when the post lady comes to work and I get to open all the post
180d               
1
dais @_daissss
Massive plus side of today is I made friends with a camel pic.twitter.com/blWXhx0aFI
180d               
5
Oli Constable @OliConstable
Saw the chaviest group of chavs earlier volley a pumpkin in Tesco. It was glorious
181d               
6
MOZ @FuckMeZakMorris
I've heard Green Street 3 is based on the life of Cain Bacon! #Cbs
182d               
3
1
Ben Brah @_BenStevenson
@leeeonix @_MonsterGeorgia @kerrysando I think I'm on one confessing my love for @MatthewHawkins_ :/
183d in reply to leeeonix               
2
Ash Ketchum @AshKetchum151
Yo mama so fat, you need a pokeflute to wake her up!
185d               
176
331
Dwayne Johnson @TheRock
My strongest THANK YOU to all who worked to create an epic film. Proud of you all. #ThatsAWrap #HERCULESMovie pic.twitter.com/QjDkQ3PyBs
186d               
2,299
1,570
Ross Geller @FunRossGeller
Monica & Chandler's twins would be 9 this year, Pheobe's triplets 14, Ben 18, and Emma 11. Let's just take a moment to let that sink in.
189d               
570
1,412
Chloe Potts @chloeleanneee
@KirstyIona95: this is so funny @chloeleanneee pic.twitter.com/E8sbi2gRYq” so funny
189d in reply to KirstyIona95               
1
dais @_daissss
I JUS HAD A MINI DREAM THE DEMON FROM THE CONJURING WAS ON MY WARDROBE BYE IM TERRIFIED IF I NEVER TWEET AGAIN IT KILLED ME
191d               
1
BOISHT @BOISHT
Who the fuck is this fox and why has he always got something to say?!
191d               
1
6
sickipediabot @sickipediabot
'LSD makes users lose weight'

That makes sense, it's kinda hard to get to the fridge when there's a dragon guarding it.
196d               
751
1,698
ლ(ಠ益ಠლ) @talktojb
@kanyewest if want to use my idea of Kanye West fortune cookies I want 10% of the profit pic.twitter.com/rgwlLUiG0H
196d in reply to kanyewest               
1
TheLADBible @TheLadBible
BreakingBadLAD - Check out more products here - toplad.com/collections/mo… pic.twitter.com/dJJFE3hpqY
196d               
220
225
ლ(ಠ益ಠლ) @talktojb
Thinking of starting a beard consultancy agency where we tell you if look like a terrorist or not.
196d               
1
Matt Hawkins @MatthewHawkins_
with no phone and no laptop literally the only things i can think to do are play gta and wank myself into oblivion
197d               
1
marmite @CammmmyBear
If i had a week to live I would spend it with Croz because it would be the longest week of my life
198d               
6
Sam @SamGret
My neck, my back, my pussy and my crack. All the things that batter after just falling over at work.
198d               
2
1
hilary @JackG15
Weird that I've gone from talking about masturbating to talking about my mamma Jean. Whatever you may of heard, the two are not linked.
198d               
2
hilary @JackG15
Can't sleep. normally masturbating solves this, but to be honest its my 5th of the day and I've been left feeling like a cheap dirty whore.
198d               
1
Chloe Potts @chloeleanneee
why does my nan keep sharing 'sex and weed' videos on Facebook?! 😳
198d               
1
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