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ImageNameLocationTwitter sinceLinks
Excitable Gurelle Cape May County NJ2009-06-19
@Christal_L1,917 days
I joke, curse, post & write. Read my TL. recovered addict, mental illness, personable, tumor girl, Tuberous Sclerosis, WLS revised VSG http://t.co/SYQnYfNNZX
FollowersFollowingTweetsListsFavorites
3,3633,13661,28815632,429
We found 192 favorite tweets.
Alan Beasley @AlanBeasleyNY
Months of Unemployment above 6.1%:
Clinton - 16
Bush - 5
Obama - 66 (of 68)

Months of Unemployment below 6.1%:
Obama - 0 (zero)
#Fact
#tcot
3h               
3
8
'SO AWESOME' STEFAN @rmbctious
Breakfast at Epiphany's: pic.twitter.com/4JInmYgEtN
9h               
8
4
Katherine Byrne @KatMByrne
@Christal_L Recently had to go low carb, too. SO sucks! Had no problem giving up bread, rice, cereal…but PEACHES!
14h in reply to Christal_L               
1
Shawn Brennan @ShawnBrennan
@Christal_L whhaatt?? She did.. :D
14h in reply to Christal_L               
1
1
Up2Long @Up2Long
Why do we try???

Post something funny over on Facebook & it gets over analyzed.

And, let's not forget the unwanted advice too.
16h               
5
1
rexy @rexybum
whoops pic.twitter.com/Ga999xbcQf
16h               
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23
The Cult Cat @Elverojaguar
pic.twitter.com/kiFroVWjTH
16h               
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59
Stephen Drangula @Drangula
The NFL is handling things so badly, they may destroy nuffleball, or whatever it is they're in charge of, forever.
1d               
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2
Ausazko Zenbaki @somerandomnumbr
@Christal_L #runForrestrun
1d in reply to Christal_L               
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GA_Knight @GA_Knight
#American #truth pic.twitter.com/4kdUCuTria
2d               
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76
the pied piper @jeffreyvanclea1
The guy I got pissed off in traffic at is my new dentist
2d               
4
2
Sean Sean Sean @seanx3
The wiring in my house was done by the evil leprechaun that tangles headphone cords when they’re in your pocket.
2d               
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4
A.D.D @Rikidus
Breasts so big they cause a Nipple in the space time continuum.
2d               
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3
Daily Mail Online @MailOnline
'Anti-shake' spoon allows Parkinson's sufferers to eat soup and ice cream again dailym.ai/1ph6bsy
2d               
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42
Random Internet Girl @InternetRandom
FetLife message: “Hi there ur awesome, I want to be married to a woman like u. Where are they” #DommeProblems
2d               
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Random Internet Girl @InternetRandom
FetLife Message: “i believe in female supremacy i am a pet animal slave & a domestic slave & a pain slut” #DommeProblems
2d               
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1
Joey @joeyfullystated
I was funny today, just not on Twitter, because more like five hundred words.
2d               
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13
the pied piper @jeffreyvanclea1
a group of cat's from California are trying to get "doggie bags" name changed to "pet bags"
2d               
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4
The Underwhelmer @grasshopper09er
I ran out of Xanax, so I'm listening to Sade by candlelight.

ps: it's not working
pps: send Xanax
2d               
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11
DangerLuvr @DangerLuvr83
"Should you be eating that?" And those were his last words.
2d               
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7
Darren Crosby @DarrenJC7
People who have sex with my mum pic.twitter.com/OGeGzx8hdc
2d               
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14
Goldman / Sinclair @paultgoldman
Good evening to all our new allies. I'm Paul T Goldman. Ryan Sinclair and I have declared war on global #sextrafficking.
2d               
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1
Emsxiety @Emsxiety
@Christal_L I have quite a few that follow me that are all about fitness. I eat bacon.
2d in reply to Christal_L               
1
Mark Marusich @NoticablyBacon
*my sister is having a baby*
Mom: I hope its a boy
Dad: I hope its a girl
Me: how many doctors do you think got their start delivering pizza
2d               
39
5
Abhorrent Housewife @abhorrent_wife
Which one of you works at this Dominos? pic.twitter.com/2u51zMMxOs
2d               
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29
warrenrichards @warhorse76
Let's not quarrel. I prefer black and you prefer red. We can both be licorice connoisseurs and live out our days in licorice harmony.
2d               
63
25
Jake Vig @Jake_Vig
I walked up two flights of steps like some kind of vegan.
2d               
188
81
Will George @HumorParasite
I don't mean to be rude, just subtly maladapted to civil discourse.
2d               
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71
Stephen Drangula @Drangula
"Junk in the trunk" and "buttstuff" both sound to me like slang terms for "shit." Maybe I'm not a romantic?
3d               
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2
7th Duke of Doonside @AllyBallyBeal
Pushing for Scottish Independence is probably the only productive thing I'll ever do on Twitter. Usually it's bad jokes and licking your avi
3d               
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4
Ana @_notyourmom_
My dog has finally learned the "no bark" command. Instead of barking he howls at people.

Baby steps.
3d               
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1
Emsxiety @Emsxiety
I know I'm retweeting more than usual tonight. Not my fault. Ya'll are fucking hilarious!
3d               
1
Bklyn Mike @bklynmike3
I loved vicariously
through you.
3d               
70
21
Peter Karlin @heykarlin
I am at a Hooters for the first time. Milk is $2.49.
3d               
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3
Vinetastic! @Vinetastical
But first... vine.co/v/Mb6Xxi3mFQF
3d               
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284
WoodyKA @kimmywoodhall
One of the best moments ever in the history of #GhostAdventures @Zak_Bagans ! #incubus #succubus pic.twitter.com/0kf1KHpibd
3d               
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137
Fr Brad Sweet @BradBradsweet
Dieu est bon, même si nous ne pouvons pas le voir, au milieu de nos luttes quotidiennes. Le remercier pour son soin paternel.
3d               
6
4
JustTheGuyInShades™® @schumyxxx
I hate when I hate someone that someone I like likes. And I hate that they like them. Makes me question my own value if they like me.
3d               
13
The Planet @ShipInTheKnight
Sometimes it's like you haven't even read the script.
3d               
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5
Theodora Chester @beingtheo
Before you let anybody hurt your feelings, read all of their tweets first.
3d               
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24
Chris Izrigrod @izrigrod
Some suspicious quotation marks. pic.twitter.com/YUBgv6g2g4
3d               
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17
Katherine Byrne @KatMByrne
@Christal_L You are really being punished for grumpiness and snark. It's clear that your purely physical issues are really character flaws.
3d in reply to Christal_L               
1
1
Sif @MGSpaceHamster
What would Twitter be without creepy people.
3d               
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6
Katherine Byrne @KatMByrne
@Christal_L Quick, everyone! Try to think of ways to F with @Christal_L while she's stoned!… What? Oh, I think she heard me.
3d in reply to Christal_L               
1
JustTheGuyInShades™® @schumyxxx
This girl came to work with enough make-up on her face to rival bobo-the-clown. And she looks like something I drew with my eyes closed.
3d               
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#trophies ¶ @BlackBerry_Mama
@Christal_L dude. u took 2 {#schedule2} meds. u were {#whitecollarwasted}{#forthewin}{#bipolardisorder}{#mydamnmeds}{#awareness} ¶
3d in reply to Christal_L               
1
#trophies ¶ @BlackBerry_Mama
@Christal_L i'll say. fallin' asleep ain't the word—u transcended. {#blogzine}{#bipolardisorder}{#mydamnmeds}{#sundaytweets} ¶
3d in reply to Christal_L               
1
1
crocky @TurboTantrum
We can't help our mental health issues, our sexuality or who our parents are.
3d               
1
Precious Cate Petal @GalacticWomanAu
.@kanyewest Meanwhile, it appears that you're a piece of shit!
thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/… #KanyeWest #Wheelchair #Kid
3d in reply to kanyewest               
5
4
JustTheGuyInShades™® @schumyxxx
When you begin with a phrase "can I get a..." but can't decide if you should ask for a witness, or a whoop-whoop.
3d               
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1
Catharsis in D City @Rowena_Manila
For the extreme minimalist trekker. Don't know why i find this funny, am i still drunk? pic.twitter.com/WiSjnESq7K
3d               
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1
Kris Wehrmeister @PrettyAllTrue
@Christal_L The mules breathe a collective sigh of relief. Later, lovely you of drugs and magic.
3d in reply to Christal_L               
1
Jessica @jessicasmiling
Boredom breeds peanut butter and banana sandwiches up in here
3d               
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1
Kris Wehrmeister @PrettyAllTrue
@Christal_L As long as ass-helium is not in play, mules are people-pleasers. Balloons for everyone!
3d in reply to Christal_L               
1
Kris Wehrmeister @PrettyAllTrue
@Christal_L Listen, you either yield or find your own damn barefoot way.
4d in reply to Christal_L               
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1
Kris Wehrmeister @PrettyAllTrue
@Christal_L Hmm. This calls for a strong hand. Put on these handcuffs. And this blindfold. And these panties. Wait.
4d in reply to Christal_L               
2
1
Kris Wehrmeister @PrettyAllTrue
@Christal_L Define "trouble."
4d in reply to Christal_L               
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Jace @jr173469
@Christal_L nope. Couldn't care less. :-)
4d in reply to Christal_L               
1
Capricorn @CapricornQuotez
#Capricorn's have a hard outer shell until they know your motives.
4d               
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13
Bukowski Quotes @bukowski_quote
"I wanted someplace to hide out, someplace where one didn't have to do anything. The thought of being something ... sickened me." - Bukowski
4d               
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14
U can call me daddy @SpanishSteel34
My homeboys arms so short he can comb his hair l pic.twitter.com/jbLHgjH5ez
4d               
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3
JustTheGuyInShades™® @schumyxxx
I only took my pajamas off once this weekend and it was just so I could go to the store to buy some more pajamas.
4d               
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BadGramma @IAmTheCrew
@Christal_L *hugs you tight*
4d in reply to Christal_L               
1
JustTheGuyInShades™® @schumyxxx
Mom: Do you know of a cheap tanning place?

Me: Outside.
4d               
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6
LILIA ♥ @LILIAOHANYAN
OMG! Hey Max George, thank you for following me :) ☺🌟✌@MaxGeorge You're so nice :) pic.twitter.com/U234VDeFz7
4d               
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Christmas Countdown @christmas_clock
Another funky Christmas bed set - available in single or double
>> bit.ly/FunkyChristmas… << pic.twitter.com/gikztZZMAc
4d               
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80
Rita Vetere @bizzyscribbling
If those squirrels only knew who they were taunting... pic.twitter.com/XeTj0hoNPB
4d               
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MB Photo Channel @MariaBoedeker
Vincent van Gogh , The Red Vineyard at Arles, c.1888 pic.twitter.com/gx7RT9R9AY
4d               
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29
The Planet @ShipInTheKnight
A Stoner with a Boner, a tale of unrequited love.
4d               
12
4
Fascinating Video @FascinatingVid
This is a lion making a kill in the wild. It’s very graphic but it’s important to show just how brutal nature can be. pic.twitter.com/q0yovzcuie
4d               
17,848
19,667
Andrea Nicole @PinkLipstitch
Damn pic.twitter.com/O3pjVTJhtV
4d               
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4
Nathaniel Edwards @edwardsnathn
Push against gravity.
5d               
42
18
Canadian Made @kimwilliamz
Sometimes people say things they don't mean and then again sometimes what they say has no meaning.
5d               
11
1
the White Crayon ॐ @Raistlend
I get nasty when I'm horny
5d               
8
JustTheGuyInShades™® @schumyxxx
I hate life. Every year when I fill in form online, my birth year gets further and further from the top of the list.
5d               
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2
The Life Coach @MyTrueStory328
My life coach is the Dalai Lama.
Beat that shit.
5d               
7
3
Funbags McFuckstick @mc_funbags
@Christal_L Hahahahahaha immense! Lie in the flatbed awaiting power!!
5d in reply to Christal_L               
1
Christy Gibel @lilchristyrocks
My experience @smartandfinal a mom & son stared & laughed at me & A long line. #LittleWomenLA #StopBulling #Educate pic.twitter.com/SoujLZAWVz
5d               
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3
Yolanda Richardson @YolandaRichard7
Yeah that's right, the rumors ARE true...I DO play a mean accordion -- Beer Barrel Polka, bitches!
5d               
7
2
MB Photo Channel @MariaBoedeker
Trinity Cathedral - St. Petersburg, Russia pic.twitter.com/njJYg5PV94
5d               
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18
Funbags McFuckstick @mc_funbags
It's OK. I know my character is too forceful to be in a clique. Your fears are justified.

Oh...it's cos I talk too much!
Fuck you!
5d               
3
2
Funbags McFuckstick @mc_funbags
For some reason, my son doesn't believe I'm a guy that acts like a girl. I really need to up my acting chops!
5d               
2
maurnas @Cursitivity
Accidentally got a large drink at Steak n Shake and flipped my car.
5d               
4
3
ManCrack Is Back @ManCrack
Ok...eating disorder flared up big time today. But apart from that, things are calming down and I finally got half hour to myself for nails
5d               
3
JustTheGuyInShades™® @schumyxxx
Adulthood is making my life miserable.
5d               
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7
john garfield @Prepostericity
Deleting a tweet within the first twenty seconds is like the five second rule for dropping food.
5d               
5
3
Bukowski Quotes @BukowskiQuotez
"Nothing can disturb my writing. It's a disease." - Charles Bukowski
5d               
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5
Kate Helms @katehelms
Thread 2 is now complete and the border is too. Now for the fun part! :) fb.me/6JqcAvqMa
5d               
1
shut up, mike @shutupmikeginn
Sorry can you repeat that? I was rocking back and forth making it look like our shadows were kissing
5d               
567
229
Orange Is the New... @OITNB
We heard that. #OITNB pic.twitter.com/jZLP23ks7y
5d               
1,136
875
Anita @Anita_Dalton
The faster I type in my password, the more secret agenty I feel.
5d               
6
6
Kemali Yılmaz @beylerbeylikemo
lodge in Huilo Huilo Chilie pic.twitter.com/5G8FmVKxku
5d               
30
20
'moth' @Inner_Mo
I just gave 3 of my tweets a mercy killing
5d               
26
11
~Misty~ @_theMisT
Mark my words. No really. I'll forget what I've said in like 2 seconds, and need it written down.
5d               
40
16
Moe @_Mo_lee_
I'm still contagious

*touches everyone*
5d               
224
108
Saladin Ahmed @saladinahmed
I'm pretty sure this is the most horrible termination letter in the history of employment. huff.to/X2lS0d pic.twitter.com/8xWaFbQGml
5d               
3,965
9,311
Jake Vig @Jake_Vig
Turn off autocorrect?

Challinje aceptid.
5d               
711
485
JustTheGuyInShades™® @schumyxxx
A full-grown beard is now the padded bra of manhood.
5d               
13
9
Jason @5oulhealer
When you go to comfort someone, don't say I feel your pain. You don't have a fucking clue what they are feeling!
5d               
76
26
Astonishing Pictures @AstonishingPix
Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip pic.twitter.com/p7g8jUDRX7
5d               
144
127
Gabriele Corno @Gabriele_Corno
Water Lily & Fisherman ... @ Luzon #Philippines pic.twitter.com/vSgKOwOnuC
5d               
606
7,940
Fascinating Videos @FascinatingVids
Literally so cute it hurts. pic.twitter.com/irwG5bJ08w
5d               
18,645
17,477
Angel @FightForLifeBB
It's #FF!!! Follow these amazing folks and name one way you'll pamper yourself this weekend. @Christal_L @erynalogan @bwbakes @HumpDayRadio
5d               
2
1
Sheila @1Happytwit
You'd be surprised how much wine you have to drink before HR deem you "unfit to work" and send you home.
5d               
196
85
BadGramma @IAmTheCrew
@Christal_L Prayers and good juju.
5d in reply to Christal_L               
1
Bo / Rach / Princess @bodachious
@Christal_L good luck xxxx I'm cheering you on from here
5d in reply to Christal_L               
1
Ana @_notyourmom_
When you spend hours smiling just because, You're either in lust, in love, stoned, drunk, without kids, or all the above.
6d               
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5
Glenda @TheLazyBookworm
@Christal_L @RadRoseDuggan sometimes you get down & need more than "chin up Buttercup" & "be positive. Allow us to sometimes wallow. ;)
6d in reply to Christal_L               
1
Glenda @TheLazyBookworm
@Christal_L @RadRoseDuggan Exactly. I handle my cancer w/ humor & everyone who knows me can vouch for it. But sometimes u get down & need
6d in reply to Christal_L               
2
Joan @JoanWIP
My son has to drink juice out of a tupperware bowl cuz his uncle plopped a bin of toothy fish by the sippycup drawer. pic.twitter.com/t5Qri6FaQz
6d               
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1
Glenda @TheLazyBookworm
@beingtheo @Christal_L Yep. Sometimes "being positive" is pushed 2 make it easy 4 others. Sometimes patient needs 2 b real even if negative.
6d in reply to Christal_L               
2
1
Navee~ @Smsjars
Life is too short to wake up with regrets.
So love the people who treat you
right and forget about the ones who don't.
6d               
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#trophies ¶ @BlackBerry_Mama
@Christal_L U think my {#blogzine} looks like @hollyrpeete?? Now, THAT'S a compliment! It certainly wasn't intentional, was tryna capture ME
6d in reply to Christal_L               
1
#trophies ¶ @BlackBerry_Mama
@Christal_L Wait, I'm gonna show u something...u just reminded me! {#blogzine}{#vitamins}{#bitstrips} ¶ {#WLS}{#ftw} pic.twitter.com/cjvmTnaXut
6d in reply to Christal_L               
2
#trophies ¶ @BlackBerry_Mama
@Christal_L Even though u don't have 2 tell me, I know that's NOT y ur doing this...{#blogzine}{#WLS}{#reasonsIhadWLS} ¶
6d in reply to Christal_L               
1
#trophies ¶ @BlackBerry_Mama
@Christal_L Wow, oh wow. This IS a very big deal, Chris. Ur gonna really be "skinty" now...{#blogzine}{#WLS}{#sizezero}{#forthewin} LOL ¶
6d in reply to Christal_L               
1
#trophies ¶ @BlackBerry_Mama
@Christal_L Are u "upgrading" 2 the sleeve? {#blogzine}{#bariatrics}{#WLS}{#forthewin} ¶
6d in reply to Christal_L               
1
#trophies ¶ @BlackBerry_Mama
@Christal_L pre-surgery {#diets} are a breeze! Just stay on {#pinterest}!!! Wait...that's NOT a good idea...{#blogzine}{#getwellsoon} ¶
6d in reply to Christal_L               
1
jeffswarens @jeffswarens
Her: Can you take me to the clinic? I cut myself trimming the pork chops

Him: Yes! ... Pork chops!
6d               
15
5
Green-eyed Mofo @GreeneyedMofo
You learn so much about yourself when your phone's battery dies.
6d               
47
27
Abby Heugel @AbbyHasIssues
My mom just told me to use my best judgment like she doesn’t remember the perms I had in the ’80s.
6d               
28
8
Bo / Rach / Princess @bodachious
I rarely wear my hair down. But today I'm looking exceptionally cute! pic.twitter.com/4NoggKlU8t
6d               
8
JustTheGuyInShades™® @schumyxxx
Wheels of morality, turn, turn, turn. Tell me the lesson that I should learn.
6d               
10
1
Inappropriate Charm @LackOfShame
Me: Do you have homework?

11: I gotta write an essay.

Me: On what?

11: Paper. Duh.

Me:
6d               
415
214
Nerf Herder @TrueTorontoGirl
Sorry, what were you saying? My stupid baby fell over. pic.twitter.com/7WrDRVU2rM
6d               
5,939
6,433
Damon Hunzeker @DamonHunzeker
I can't believe it's already time to take the leaves down.
6d               
170
99
Underchilde @Underchilde
My sex tape is just me doing an interpretive dance while wearing nothing but two Pee-wee Herman sock puppets.
6d               
298
162
JustTheGuyInShades™® @schumyxxx
Death, surrounds. My heartbeat’s slowing down. I won’t take this world’s abuse.
I won’t give up, fucking I refuse.
6d               
6
=^..^= d e f u s k @DefUSK
TY ❤️✨@LemmingDad @JustThatSikhBoy @dellen01 @LaylaKnows @caseytduncan @HousewifeOfHell @geekycooker @Christal_L
6d               
8
Anemone @AnemoneHegemony
BRA CHOICES
The uniboober
The quadraboober
The flattener
The back fat enhancer
The butt cleavage creator
The red imprint miracle
The sagger
6d               
91
36
Woody @WoodyLuvsCoffee
Nice try making cell towers look like palm trees California.
Now get the tech guys to wear squirrel suits and I'm on board.
6d               
77
34
Sarcasm @TheComedyHumor
Mom: "Why is everything on the floor?!"

Me: "Gravity, mom"
6d               
4,163
4,805
JustTheGuyInShades™® @schumyxxx
The best way to get people interested in a movie is to ban it.
6d               
6
1
✨мя Gяєєи @iGreenMonk
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
6d               
181
130
KimKierkegaardashian @KimKierkegaard
I stood there alone and forsaken. I took some selfies, too.
7d               
1,231
1,554
Theodora Chester @beingtheo
Dr said lung cancer. 6 months to live.Asked him how he felt about it."Hitler didn't get me, neither will this" Dad died 14 years later.
7d               
40
8
Emsxiety @Emsxiety
I may have just told someone to shut the fuck up because they were annoying me. To their face. No subtweeting here people!
7d               
1
Stephen Drangula @Drangula
I'm trying to get the two hemispheres of my brain to kiss and make up.
7d               
8
5
White Mic @505whitemic
Just read a study about the efficiency of scarecrows. Yep, im high lol
7d               
2
☯ danny ☮ @dannykiinns
Every time I hear that sad and depressing Shire theme song from The Hobbit, it makes me break down and cry.
8d               
2
3
JustTheGuyInShades™® @schumyxxx
Mom: Stupid traffic. Go home, motherfuckers.

Me: Yeah, I think that's what they're trying to do.
8d               
10
Jace @jr173469
@Christal_L I would've helped you up while laughing my ass off the whole time. Tears pouring down. Unable to breath and coughing a lung up.
8d in reply to Christal_L               
1
Joan @JoanWIP
@Christal_L ugh. I like to plant things that will either feed me or continue to grow for years.
8d in reply to Christal_L               
1
ProteinMilkShakeBar @MilkShake_Bar
@Christal_L You're so sweet :). Just DM us the email address we should send your coupon to and also the flavor you'd like to try :)!
8d in reply to Christal_L               
1
JustTheGuyInShades™® @schumyxxx
I don't know who any of you people are anymore.
8d               
7
ProteinMilkShakeBar @MilkShake_Bar
@Christal_L would you like to try a free sample of our protein powder?
8d in reply to Christal_L               
1
JustTheGuyInShades™® @schumyxxx
Confused? You know what gets you confused.

When you lied.
8d               
5
=^..^= d e f u s k @DefUSK
Garfield sat down on my textbook & I spent all my time taking pics of her rolling around on it It's still opened to the preface hours later
8d               
9
2
warrenrichards @warhorse76
Yes indeed folks he fell in love with the ER Doctor that shocked him back to life. He was helpless. She made him feel alive again.
8d               
55
20
Bo / Rach / Princess @bodachious
I do like to hold my little baby bump! #foetuslyfe
8d               
4
JustTheGuyInShades™® @schumyxxx
If you don't eat mooncakes, you can use them as paper weight too.
8d               
6
1
JustTheGuyInShades™® @schumyxxx
To prevent me from accessing porn online, my girlfriend has subscribed to filtering software.And guess what, I am helping her to install it.
8d               
12
1
bigAtheVERB @bigAtheVERB
I'm convinced the last 45 years are just a phase I'm going through.
9d               
2
1
ManCrack Is Back @ManCrack
I'm sorry I keep trying to do a #WhyIStayed tweet and I keep getting hives and crying. Not ready yet.
9d               
6
Shawn Brennan @ShawnBrennan
You don't know how happy this made me to see these were back.. Literally stopped in my tracks hahaha… instagram.com/p/ss0wKTBQ6Z/
9d               
1
1
M @spookyparticles
Most of my tweets are only whispers.
9d               
67
35
Samantha LaFountain @samthefountain
THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT TWEET: FartZooka Fart Gun - groupon.com/deals/gg-fartz…
9d               
5
2
=^..^= d e f u s k @DefUSK
New "ultimate" hipster body wash fragrances:

fresh green onion

vintage lobster shells

sweet dumpster butter

creamy cumin & cold cut
9d               
22
11
Nobody's Girl @solo_red_cup
I rarely take selfies, but I thought maybe you'd appreciate a close-up. pic.twitter.com/4KYLZU1ueY
9d               
7
1
♥ MSa¥ ♥ ♌ @MSayDidntDidIt
I'm not dumbing down for nobody.
9d               
2
1
Jen, Queen o'Fidiots @Jlofarsays
@Christal_L Why, thank you! Apparently misery does love company!

(I'm so sorry!)
9d in reply to Christal_L               
1
em @DilemmaEmmaEmma
8:50am on Monday: no matter how hard I pull on this pretzel stick it's not a fucking cigarette
9d               
45
14
Jen, Queen o'Fidiots @Jlofarsays
The sound of me trying to dislodge a stuck snot rocket is not unlike hairball horking, but I won't get thrown outside 'til I'm done.
I hope.
9d               
11
Vanita Cyril @VanitaCyril
Your Kids Need DIY Halloween Surprise Balls bit.ly/1s1SZgP via @artchootwit
9d               
1
1
Michael @Michael214365
pic.twitter.com/BQWaPjL6AJ
9d               
2
JustTheGuyInShades™® @schumyxxx
My breath smells like fingers.
9d               
11
D๑ℓ๑uя๑us℘uяρℓεHαzε @TattooedMisery
@Christal_L Ask your pet if combovers are right for you.
Uh..wait...no... 😃
9d in reply to Christal_L               
1
JustTheGuyInShades™® @schumyxxx
The worst part about today is running out of beer before lunch.
10d               
12
D๑ℓ๑uя๑us℘uяρℓεHαzε @TattooedMisery
So put that in your crack pipe & smoke it. #DowntonAbbeyModernized
10d               
1
bigAtheVERB @bigAtheVERB
Just now. pic.twitter.com/MxVM03DnWy
10d               
2
Phx Ken @PhxKen
INCREDIBLE HYPOCRISY!!!!! 7 MINUTES VS 7 HOURS!! pic.twitter.com/b7V7M2aiqV
10d               
123
238
Stephanie Mickus @smickable
Ever really look at a guy's apt? It's like he's been hoarding things since birth but also like he's ready to flee the country at any moment.
10d               
130
56
Ginger @GingerJ17
Takes a really brave man to call women bitches & whores while hiding behind a cartoon avi.
10d               
84
44
Abe Yospe @Cheeseboy22
Parenting is just one continuous cycle of saying "knock that off" every 30 minutes.
10d               
147
51
Just Jane @jdforshort
What are the official rules for an orgy?

Do you tap out like in wrestling?

Or is just like a pile of kittens rolling around?
10d               
202
124
Tina Ann Graves @iTinaGraves
Don't judge me, NEVER. You can't handle what I've dealt with. There is a reason I do what I do. There's a reason I am who I am.
10d               
24
17
Oh Ms. Sandra @FrizerkaSandra
I am now going to resume my love affair with my guitar.

Her name is Emmylou in case you were wondering.
10d               
134
66
Funbags McFuckstick @mc_funbags
Dancing without a bra on, because even tits need freedom of expression sometimes.
10d               
6
2
Jace @jr173469
pic.twitter.com/oIQvu2qIVv
@Christal_L
11d               
1
2
Funbags McFuckstick @mc_funbags
Black people, when cracker is used to describe white folks, wtf does it even mean? Is it cos we're crumbly?
11d               
3
2
JustTheGuyInShades™® @schumyxxx
I have a chronic illness that makes living life impossible, so obviously I found Twitter.
11d               
9
1
Jace @jr173469
@Christal_L BWA HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA snort HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA snort then falls down from inability to breath.
11d in reply to Christal_L               
1
Jace @jr173469
@Christal_L clearly I'm still following you. I'm screwed.
11d in reply to Christal_L               
1
Mark Furnish @markfurnish11
For those that followed me when I supported Michael Brown and unfollowed when I supported slain cop Daryl Pierson - shame. #ROC #Ferguson
11d               
2
2
Perspective Pictures @Perspective_pic
Cooking pasta when suddenly, Cookie Monster pic.twitter.com/yxPRCxs8gN
11d               
1,462
1,101
Shawn Brennan @ShawnBrennan
@Christal_L usually I have to sit munk next to him on the table while he eats haha
11d in reply to Christal_L               
1
MB Photo Channel @MariaBoedeker
scotland pic.twitter.com/tqdbUSkIS3
11d               
64
50
Shawn Brennan @ShawnBrennan
Just saw Saturday September 6th 2014 is World Beard Day.. Now I usally don't do this… instagram.com/p/snBeXRhQ_L/
11d               
1
1
Shawn Brennan @ShawnBrennan
@Christal_L "this bores me"
11d in reply to Christal_L               
1
1
Shawn Brennan @ShawnBrennan
#baby #scarface #likeaboss instagram.com/p/sm1xW-BQ2q/
11d               
1
1
Shawn Brennan @ShawnBrennan
Climbed up himself and is waiting "patiently" waiting for breakfast.. instagram.com/p/smy7WWhQw-/
11d               
1
1
Earth Pics @ThatsEarth
Mammatus Clouds, one of the rarest weather phenomena pic.twitter.com/AAi0fkI7ex
11d               
1,543
1,097
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