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ImageNameLocationTwitter sinceLinks
Excitable Gurelle Cape May County NJ2009-06-19
@Christal_L1,868 days
I joke, curse, post & write. Read my TL. recovered addict, mental illness, personable, pretty cute for a tumor girl, just weird. Tuberous Sclerosis, WLS
FollowersFollowingTweetsListsFavorites
3,2743,12959,96715231,699
We found 199 favorite tweets.
Mochi @Mochiicecreamgi
#throwbackthursday Freya at almost a year old. pic.twitter.com/dTq1WgQF17
1h               
2
em @dilemma617
16 year old hospital volunteer just pulled up beside me in an S Class to gently remind me I am a fucking peasant.
1h               
11
4
Duke of Debauchery @Ctchandler247
if I was in the armed forces they would refer to my brigade as

The Few

The Proud

The Latrine
10h               
9
1
Theodora Chester @beingtheo
So, you don't like people who say goodnight on Twitter? Unfollow me.

Goodnight and sweet dreams, tweeties.
10h               
19
1
ClassicPics @History_Pics
The World's Oldest Dress was found in Egypt and it is 5,000 years old. pic.twitter.com/IYLYGnzEfZ
10h               
826
624
JustTheGuyInShades™® @schumyxxx
Unfortunately none of the things I'd rather be doing right now involve making a grocery list.
10h               
5
1
BeckyDanger @Becky_Danger
Those women who give up their careers to stay home and raise their kids- they do not get enough credit. It's not as easy as most think.
10h               
6
2
☆ManCrack☆ @ManCrack
And even if you aren't Pagan or Wiccan....please come visit Honest Courtesan on Friday August 1st. I'm contributing art to that day's column
10h               
2
4
The Cynic @jakeandjanelle
pic.twitter.com/kpOTmxkqe2
12h               
3
2
☆ManCrack☆ @ManCrack
And...the Moo has decided she wants to play the accordion, like mommy and brother. #nerdfamily
12h               
6
☆ManCrack☆ @ManCrack
@Christal_L I 💖 ladies from Jersey and PA.
12h in reply to Christal_L               
1
Duke of Debauchery @Ctchandler247
I wanted so little but it seems I need so much
14h               
13
2
Duke of Debauchery @Ctchandler247
That hole in your arm won't ever
heal all this pain

that
you're feeling.
14h               
2
1
Sir Clarty Plodger @Prince_Madness1
Text from mate: "Prince, what is a mega whore?"

A minute later...

Text from mate: "damn autocorrect, what is a metaphor?"

Me: "YOUR WIFE"
15h               
39
19
Anonymous @YourAnonNews
The NSA is being sued again, this time for not producing Gen. Alexander's financial disclosures. bit.ly/1lXGsVq by @danstuckey
17h               
23
36
Raoul Duke @Raoul_Duke_71
Women who think that Feminism means emulating all the worst qualities of men... ruthless corporate greed, lack of empathy, etc... are Dicks.
23h               
21
11
Cheeky Dre @cheeky_dre
Don't challenge my faith, it could be the only reason you're still standing.
23h               
1
casstasstrophe @poizngrl
Remember to dismiss everything I tell you I'm dealing with so you "don't get" it when I don't rely on you EVER
1d               
45
26
casstasstrophe @poizngrl
To find out who your REAL friends are, move your good drugs out of the medicine cabinet to the top of your fridge
1d               
72
39
Cheeky @CheekyDre
Mom just asked me to put "anal virus" on her computer; now I'm very ass-conscious and confused.
1d               
6
3
Aeryn Sun @JayElem00
So I said "Your mom" to my kid and then felt super stupid for a while.
1d               
11
3
Theodora Chester @beingtheo
Fruit tastes great, when I have no chocolate.
1d               
28
2
Oldielocks @IAmTheCrew
It's one of my crazier kid's birthday. Go creep on her. It's okay, she's a grownup.
@raeisfoamy
1d               
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☯ danny ☮ @dannykiinns
I surround myself in white light. I will not let this dark, negative woman of the night ruin my evening.
1d               
2
Duke of Debauchery @Ctchandler247
Who me?

Just helicoptering my Jimbob around the house singing Wang Chung
"Dance Hall Days"
1d               
15
2
JustTheGuyInShades™® @schumyxxx
Weird Al Yankovic's new album is about loneliness, lust, jealousy and death.
1d               
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A Redhead Furie @MyInnerRedhead
@Christal_L It's been so long I almost didn't recognize your account :) I was happy to see you again.
1d in reply to Christal_L               
1
☯ danny ☮ @dannykiinns
YOU KNOW WHATS RUDE? Letting the person suffer by enduring your caca breath when you talk. What the hell, like no mints or what?
1d               
3
☆ManCrack☆ @ManCrack
@Christal_L she was married 3 times and is insanely claustrophobic. This seriously cracked her up.
1d in reply to Christal_L               
1
Joan @JoanWIP
@Christal_L is that that thing that goes chig-chig-chig-chig-chig-errrrrng-errrrrrng?
1d in reply to Christal_L               
1
☆ManCrack☆ @ManCrack
@Christal_L my mom laughed so hard at that, she spit out her drink.
1d in reply to Christal_L               
1
1
Reality Check @GoodMistakes56
Ever put too much dip on a chip then have to stuff more chips in your mouth just to even out the taste?

Bet you didn't know I was so sexy.
1d               
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14
Abe Yospe @Cheeseboy22
I love my kids! Mostly the older one, I forget his name. The younger one is a little annoying sometimes, I forget his name.
1d               
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54
Jamie Capria @MrFornicator
I just had a ciabatta with my dinner and didn't get the urge to rhyme it with anything.
1d               
13
Bo / Rach / Princess @bodachious
@Christal_L or healthy
1d in reply to bodachious               
1
Bo / Rach / Princess @bodachious
@Christal_L Please do. I'm always trying to prove I'm "normal"
1d in reply to Christal_L               
1
Funbags McFuckstick @mc_funbags
Just went around the block on my new bike so now I need a new pair of legs.
1d               
3
2
Chris Mac @MacCocktail
“I often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day.”
― Vincent van Gogh (died this day, July 29, 1890)
1d               
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18
❤️ Genevieve™ @Genevieve0404
Mommy:Say, Mommy, ... say mom-meee... mom-meee, *drops toy* SHIT!
...
Baby: Shit shit shit shit
~ #FirstWORDProblems
1d               
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10
☯ danny ☮ @dannykiinns
I don't remember adding a vibrator to my Amazon wish list. This is the most inappropriate item ever.
1d               
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1
Canadian Made @kimwilliamz
People who unlawfully invade your privacy need to be prosecuted.
1d               
14
6
Zombie Tweets @_Zombie_Hobo_
OOoooooooo
1d               
1
Bearcub @bearcub577
11: *brushes my hair
11: JUST LET IT FALL NATURALLY... ... mmm... ...hmm
11: *puts it back the way it was
11: That's your natural look!
1d               
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2
#bootybee @TerraJole
My car ride just improved! #neildiamond #LittleWomenLA #GreatestHits pic.twitter.com/RfUfekz8ZG
1d               
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1
Duke of Debauchery @Ctchandler247
It's the people who think they're so special that are a dime a dozen.
1d               
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12
Rachel @rayyyych
I've slept under a bridge before, i can troll as good as the rest of you.
1d               
2
1
DBW @USAF_DBW
Why many carry. #gunsense pic.twitter.com/CCyzhQpBpY
1d               
3
3
Foamy @raeisfoamy
I love my friends, one of them already gave me an old joke. Happy birthday me.
1d               
3
1
mynameisJimmy @jimmy_sharpe
You can never be sad when you're using a highlighter pen.
1d               
111
48
DaddyJew @DaddyJew
Speaking as a single parent, my son is the only reason I'm alive today
2d               
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62
JustTheGuyInShades™® @schumyxxx
If I were to write a children's book, it'd be like, "Sssshhhhhhhhhhhh....." over 58 pages.
2d               
14
2
TODAY'S MY B-DAY! ¶ @BlackBerry_Mama
@Sickayduh @Christal_L Very wise feline. #solemnface Yes. Very wise, indeed. #blogzine
2d in reply to Sickayduh               
1
❤️ Genevieve™ @Genevieve0404
I love these kids... turns to husband, when do their real parents come get them again?
2d               
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2
the pied piper @jeffreyvanclea1
i did some stupid shit as a kid, one time we robbed a sperm bank
2d               
7
Dom GhostHunter @domghosthunter
creepy abandoned house pic.twitter.com/w9OMxB7v5y
2d               
16
3
The Flounder Pounder @Amiigat
Meet Dan pic.twitter.com/lZw5VYjYHa
2d               
2
The Flounder Pounder @Amiigat
Awwww pic.twitter.com/511bs8ZYfO
2d               
2
Stephen Drangula @Drangula
The ways of Twitter are not your ways, Facebook. And your ways are not ours!
2d               
4
1
jeffswarens @jeffswarens
That lady said she had an opening she wanted me to fill. She doesn’t even know what my job is.
2d               
10
4
Duke of Debauchery @Ctchandler247
Just got done rebuilding some extra thick walls

this time there's no one getting in
2d               
11
3
Comedians For Cancer @Comedians4C
Uncensored eCard #144 by @MrFornicator: pic.twitter.com/9relBZx5jt
2d               
2
1
Oldielocks @IAmTheCrew
Clearing brush, and look, I found a lawn mower!
*facepalm* pic.twitter.com/FTdLRvKycl
2d               
9
2
Jamie Capria @MrFornicator
A zucchini is just a well endowed cucumber.
2d               
15
1
frat boy @dadgrrl
WE ARE IN NEW JERSEY AND MY DAD IS WILLING TO DRIVE UP TO NY FOR KOREAN FOOD. MY DAD IS TRULY DEDICATED TO ASIAN CUISINE.
2d               
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3
Jamie Capria @MrFornicator
Breaking news: If you're a judgmental prick 6 days and 23 hours each week… going to mass every Sunday doesn't make you a "good Christian."
2d               
32
10
BigTub & TabbyCats @_gardeniaa_
😢RT @PEACE_means_PAZ: Appreciate what we have and Learn to Give ;-) #HELP #ALWAYS pic.twitter.com/O643he1A3A
2d               
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5
Joey @joeyfullystated
I don't use gas at the dentist's office because the form asks about my sexual history.

Perv.
2d               
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8
... @PolhunterP
Sometimes you've to reach your darkest before the mind finally gives way and lets your heart beat again.
2d               
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28
Duke of Debauchery @Ctchandler247
I am really sorry but I actually need to be stimulated

And yes that means mentally
2d               
7
2
Sheldon Bleeker @SheldonBleeker
#SHOUTOUT to @moniquehohnberg @Christal_L @honestmumwaffle @SaraWari1 top-notch new followers. Cheers! —J.
2d               
3
mjkspeaks @mjkspeaks
Most people don't even realize that the world has turned them into someone they're really not.
2d               
205
162
JustTheGuyInShades™® @schumyxxx
Monday - walk into a shelf three times and you have 70 magazines avalanche onto you and cause a neck paper cut that looks like a hickey.
2d               
12
1
Aly Mako @possibilyss
Here, hold my mind for me.
2d               
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40
Rusty @GayDeceiver
"Life is like a box of chocolates left out in the sun during a heat wave," said the depressed motivational speaker.
3d               
9
1
Marcmywords @Marcmywords2
If Bram Stoker had known that
Dracula would lead to
The Vampire Diaries, he'd of driven a stake thru his own heart.
3d               
98
61
Sheila @1Happytwit
When a co-worker's crying cause her husband left her, it’s not appropriate to tell her you’re not surprised, even if you aren't.
3d               
139
53
Randy Smith @Thing_Finder
Anyway—long story short—there WASN'T a Costco Cheesecake Eating Contest today. So I'm out $750.
3d               
9
4
Theodora Chester @beingtheo
Life's short. Something pisses you off, say something about it. Be done with it.
3d               
39
16
Ali. 又 @AlexisMurray
I've accepted that it's best for me to wait to have children, but the biggest smile rest across my face when I'm waist deep in mommy blogs.😁
3d               
3
Theodora Chester @beingtheo
To clarify. Of all tweets to be stolen, this one is a reference to being a child of Holocaust Survivors. Shame on him. Shame.
3d               
14
4
Theodora Chester @beingtheo
@Maxine12333 Check out his tweets. Your on his page @iamch0pper
3d in reply to Maxine12333               
1
Theodora Chester @beingtheo
Stepping out of my comfort zone. Going to get a light sweater.
3d               
16
2
The Cult Cat @Elverojaguar
pic.twitter.com/fe0hQZlk2k
3d               
129
94
Theodora Chester @beingtheo
@iamch0pper Could you properly credit me for my tweet? Thanks.
3d in reply to iamch0pper               
4
1
Catharsis in D City @Rowena_Manila
'Nevermind - COLORS ( 80's Italo )': youtu.be/Oem-eDEZa2w via @YouTube -- Omg! i used to love this song!!! haha!
3d               
1
Woow pics @photo98765
Unseen ChiangMai, Thailand by POPUMON TiH. pic.twitter.com/sxzqIdc1Bz
3d               
24
20
Andy @warholeary
siri: how do i file for moral bankruptcy
3d               
13
2
Fire Garden Worm @secondhandfrown
FUCK EVIL SPIRITS!

I BELIEVE IN ONE GOD, THE FATHER ALMIGHTY, CREATOR OF HEAVEN AND EARTH!

BITCH!
3d               
7
3
Fire Garden Worm @secondhandfrown
I am not afraid of hauntings because I have St. Michael at my side. BRING IT BITCHES!
3d               
6
1
Jameson Whiskey @AverageGuyJames
Meh
3d               
4
4
Just Call Me Frank™© @JustCallMeFrank
Publicly making fun of unattractive people, hey?
Nice.
You're just lucky that the majority of your ugly is on the inside.
3d               
81
36
Daniel Gennaoui @DanielGennaoui
The Man who didn't salute Hitler. Read this unique story here: bit.ly/NiumeHist #history #photography pic.twitter.com/rDAOb1WwDY
3d               
13
9
I LIKE CHIPS! @aaronup
*batman voice*

"I said two slices of cheese on my sandwich mom!"
3d               
15
5
WaningWoman.com @WaningWoman
@Christal_L :) that idea being out the crazy in my eyes pic.twitter.com/EQ9NbI6bJZ
3d in reply to Christal_L               
1
Thefatguy @fatguythe
I try to have some romantic beers with my phone and it's all STOP I'M NOT IN THE MOOD MY BATTERY IS LOW. Typical..
3d               
13
5
WaningWoman.com @WaningWoman
@Christal_L lucky dog. Lmao
3d in reply to Christal_L               
1
maggie jonestanquary @maggietanquary
True. pic.twitter.com/G82jYJKYfv
3d               
20
39
yung jed @LightCarnival
"Forgive me my nonsense as I also forgive the nonsense of those who think they talk sense." ~Robert Frost
3d               
19
7
Nash @iNashGriers
When I see an elderly person eating alone like this, I die a little inside pic.twitter.com/edxoJQlk3z
3d               
1,313
1,008
JustTheGuyInShades™® @schumyxxx
My seven year old niece and her cousin decided to play "Beach" with baking soda.

You can imagine the rest.
3d               
9
1
The Cult Cat @Elverojaguar
pic.twitter.com/7u15Mt51Ls
3d               
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25
The Cult Cat @Elverojaguar
pic.twitter.com/zQj6oDwgvg
3d               
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40
The Cult Cat @Elverojaguar
pic.twitter.com/6eJx8NU6Xc
3d               
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24
The Cult Cat @Elverojaguar
pic.twitter.com/L9EfS3K7WA
3d               
34
20
The Cult Cat @Elverojaguar
pic.twitter.com/XSpO8nXu2p
3d               
53
23
Juggernaut @TheHumanBot
So you are saying you can listen all the blabbering and yelling going on tv but you don't listen someone sharing their problems with you?
3d               
8
5
Niki @HeyItsMeNiki
I'm at Anthony Square swarmapp.com/heyitsmeniki/c… pic.twitter.com/LRxtz4eTKe
3d               
1
1
@WarrenMetcalf
plot twist: pic.twitter.com/wFUST4wYD9
3d               
1,849
1,140
Slightly funny Jew @Dani_Feld
I'm not made for work. It takes me half the shift just to clean the desk before I can touch anything.
4d               
48
19
let.it.be @beenonajourney
@bruisinmaker @McGunnersite the difference is?
4d in reply to bruisinmaker               
2
Wolf Cry @bruisinmaker
Abso-Fucking-Lutely pic.twitter.com/c5wh3qGKsX
4d               
6
3
Loco Eric @ericsshadow
*phone rings*
hello
"can I ask a few questions"
sure
"What's your name"
Brittany
"What's your Race"
Indy 500
"Thanks for your time Brittany"
4d               
373
139
Hbloggers @Hbloggers
The Fallen project dld.bz/djPAc #creative pic.twitter.com/1uuTdaA4Cr
4d               
1
1
MMMMMMark @Eightinchgoat
The song "Click, Click, Boom" taught me to never put the band Saliva in charge of loading any of my firearms.
4d               
17
6
West coast offense @Benpolarbear347
When I die I wanna rot naturally in the woods so to speed up my dispersion.
4d               
1
Theodora Chester @beingtheo
Sure. It's the same stuff over and over. But one day, somebody is going to say something you need to hear, the way you need to hear it.
4d               
73
29
Pink Panther @PantherpinkM
@Christal_L @Zak_Bagans he's got the eye of the tiger! 😻
4d in reply to Christal_L               
1
Mattchew @mattchew81
I think we should start resenting other people
4d               
58
39
Hbloggers @Hbloggers
Ethnic group Palong bride dld.bz/dgggf #photography pic.twitter.com/baBcPBosQz
4d               
2
1
Alexis From TX @Mad_Humor
What is a zebra 26 sizes larger than "A" bra
4d               
4
1
Hal O be thy name @Halbeerz
I'd have more Instagram followers if I didn't eat such crappy food
4d               
16
2
Andy H. @AndyAsAdjective
This fitness app on my phone rated my performance during my run today as "poor" & I just realized this fitness app is my dad.
4d               
58
19
katspaks @katspaks
@Christal_L yeah, it is. One of my regrets is that I didnt take my theory classes seriously when I was in school. Cannot sightread for shit!
4d in reply to Christal_L               
1
Ali. 又 @AlexisMurray
@Christal_L It is! I was in orchestra for seven years and I regret nothing. (:
4d in reply to Christal_L               
1
Ali. 又 @AlexisMurray
@Christal_L Where I live they have mandatory general music in elementary school then in middle you can choose between band orch, & general.
4d in reply to Christal_L               
1
katspaks @katspaks
@Christal_L my daughter was given the option of both. If you play a wind instrument or keyboards in public school, I know they offer theory.
4d in reply to Christal_L               
1
100 Pound Boner @osno13
twitter moms won't star my tweet whatever
4d               
39
6
Stephen Drangula @Drangula
I assume no one on Facebook would post a link to a personality quiz unless it was created by an accredited expert in human psychology.
4d               
8
Chris Mac @MacCocktail
“I like being myself. Myself and nasty.”
― Aldous Huxley (born this day, July 26, 1894), Brave New World
4d               
9
10
El Jefe @Sickayduh
"I only regret that I have but nine lives to give for my country."

- Nathan Tail

"Give me Friskies or give me death."

- Catrick Henry
4d               
102
55
Murray Rothbard @LibertarianView
The Supreme Court Now Leans Libertarian dld.bz/dtTek
4d               
5
2
Nick O'tine @Nic_O_tine
@katspaks @Christal_L and "politics for dummies" should say, if there is a law, follow that first, if not, use system - worked for 238 yrs..
4d in reply to katspaks               
2
johnny appleseeds @titletown899004
@Christal_L Thanks for following!
4d in reply to Christal_L               
1
Nick O'tine @Nic_O_tine
@katspaks @Christal_L well that is no joke ... and most of it, honestly, is BS that is argued about ... name calling - GROW UP!
4d in reply to katspaks               
2
katspaks @katspaks
@Christal_L
love it when we all play nice! I think there are ample revolutionary dickheads for every party to have a share ;) @Nic_O_tine
4d in reply to Christal_L               
2
2
Nick O'tine @Nic_O_tine
@Christal_L @katspaks yvw, and ty .... and i know how it is to get out of the "norm" of ones routine... lol
4d in reply to Christal_L               
2
Nick O'tine @Nic_O_tine
@Christal_L @katspaks lol, that was a joke...
4d in reply to Christal_L               
2
SuburbanComa @SuburbanComa
Hey! Lawrence Welk is on PBS....I'm horny as shit
4d               
9
3
JustTheGuyInShades™® @schumyxxx
I think my weighing scales is broken. Whenever I stand on it to check my weight, it makes an hysterical laughing noise and turns itself off.
4d               
18
1
Marcus @Schantzlaw
If cold beer, chips and queso can't fix your problem, ask yourself if it's a problem that really needs fixed.
4d               
379
282
☯ danny ☮ @dannykiinns
I guess that depressed, little cloud just happen to burst into tears on a sunny day. ☁️⚡️
4d               
1
1
Britannia PR @Britanniacomms
#banksy #style #streetart ! pic.twitter.com/ydhTs9ekjq crt @oart50 #photography
4d               
23
27
ClassicPics @History_Pics
A young girl meeting a penguin for the first time. pic.twitter.com/ieBkUFgVTg
4d               
3,143
2,083
Mikki Kendall @Karnythia
I know a lot of subs, in the right circumstances I am a sub. I promise we run our own lives & decide who we submit to.
4d               
17
7
Mikki Kendall @Karnythia
@TheBowtieChef I wouldn't. The premise bugs the shit out of me. Subs don't stumble around unable to function without a top's directions.
4d in reply to TheBowtieChef               
2
Mikki Kendall @Karnythia
It's possible I have never been here for a lot of BDSM fic that hinges on the idea that subs have little or no voice in well...anything.
4d               
11
3
David Payton @david_payton
@McNorfin
Dad got an iPhone.
It's amazing. :-) pic.twitter.com/zeyCCeDiRl
4d in reply to McNorfin               
3
Comedians For Cancer @Comedians4C
Uncensored eCard #139 by @MrFornicator: pic.twitter.com/sjPxaxOdC4
4d               
2
2
Aimee Destremps @Flaims76
@Christal_L I can never be too sure that it wasn't a euphemism for something else.
4d in reply to Christal_L               
1
1
☯ danny ☮ @dannykiinns
when ur out with ur friends and ur favorite song comes on vine.co/v/M0vJbT3wiVz
4d               
2
LL's Heart @ALadiesHeart
You guys don't tell anyone but I am supposed to be taking a nap.
4d               
48
25
The Cult Cat @Elverojaguar
pic.twitter.com/B76ZlncHxa
4d               
113
105
Grace (: @BLKasdfghj
@b0ringtweets I saw these while shopping the other day and I thought of you! pic.twitter.com/ocpyDsSFgB
4d in reply to b0ringtweets               
3
2
Rum-belly @SDoofania
Nice RT @WildeThingy: Is it "for fucks' sake" or "for fuck's sake"?

I don't want to sake more fucks than I have to.
4d               
2
Kemali Yılmaz @beylerbeylikemo
eyes in the darkness pic.twitter.com/4s72Uxvmd1
4d               
172
131
Goddess of Mischief @ShanaRose21
Kim and Kayne's child had better get a report card that says:

"North West has trouble following directions"

Or I am gonna be so pissed.
4d               
124
73
IG fusedude @fusedude
I'll kiss a close talker just to teach them a lesson.
4d               
235
135
Michael Means #ORPUW @michaelmeans49
MT @nevergiveup2004: He Fought For Us. We Should Be Fighting Like Hell For Him! #BringBackOurMarine pic.twitter.com/I4iTm0YMFb #RedMeat
4d               
16
22
Trixie Tang @jaythewerewolf
I'm moving to Cancun and teaching water aerobics. My life calling finally hit me! Haste la vista basics! I just had the most fun
4d               
6
Hal O be thy name @Halbeerz
Just posted a photo on Instagram. And no one including me gives a flying fuck.
4d               
17
3
Erik Tsou 鄒若琪 @fu_corleone
So glad my cousin @randicasey is here for @lilbody #family bridal👰 shower. Heading to the beach. Enjoy your Saturday! ☀️🌴 #tracianderikaug17
4d               
6
2
Ausazko Zenbaki @somerandomnumbr
Ain't No Rest for the Wicked by Cage the Elephant, from #SoundHound soundhound.com/?t=10035174544…
4d               
1
Hal O be thy name @Halbeerz
Tarzan made wearing a loincloth look easier than it really is.
4d               
10
2
Victoria @SexyInsomniac
Sometimes, just for a second, I forget I'm sick.
4d               
45
4
van @vanluvz1
It's like my husband doesn't even care I got 2 trophies last night.
4d               
182
92
Pumpkin @angrypumpkins
Just saying something doesn't make it true, but enough people saying it does make it seem believable.
5d               
34
13
Joyful Malcontent @Malcontent8
I can't stand people without toes. I'm lack toes intolerant.
5d               
26
11
Aine Anisa @AineAnisa
"Trapped in the Suburbs" the brave story of one woman's struggle to avoid children's birthday parties and small talk at the grocery store.
5d               
114
61
Joleen Doreen @JoleenDoreen
My night got SO crazy somewhere between the documentary on Pennsylvania's white-tail deer and eating jello until I fell asleep on the couch.
5d               
14
3
Not 1985 @l985
fact

if you throw glitter at someone, they can't stay mad at you
5d               
12
6
Bo / Rach / Princess @bodachious
Looking forward to holding my rounded belly in my hands. Playing music to our baby and feeling them move around.
5d               
6
Bo / Rach / Princess @bodachious
MS meds being feed into my body. Washington in my headphones. I'm in a happy healthy place.
5d               
3
Loco Eric @ericsshadow
The 12th person to buy me a shot gets to hear all about the time my dad woke me up with a stun gun.
5d               
411
159
NotTHATSheila @peb671
i've spent the past 1 1/2 hrs saying "no! Nononono NO!" to my cat.

I stopped when I found myself saying "Do you not fucking understand me?"
5d               
75
30
Christy Gibel @lilchristyrocks
Keeping my husband @Dwarven_Magic Happy. Yummy #Sugarfree and #Glutenfree Apple Pie.… instagram.com/p/q5ZKTirvrh/
5d               
25
6
Viktor Winetrout, Jr @Cpin42
I’ll take a hug for $300, Alex. $400? I don’t care how the game works, Alex, just hug me.
5d               
189
73
Dom GhostHunter @domghosthunter
Fort william Henry pic.twitter.com/YGF4VkE9EN
5d               
4
2
Dom GhostHunter @domghosthunter
Old Charleston jail pic.twitter.com/X2L9J51Pvp
5d               
5
3
Dom GhostHunter @domghosthunter
Pennhurst pic.twitter.com/z4iITfMM2B
5d               
5
2
warrenrichards @warhorse76
The news was devastating. The manner in which it was delivered was devastatingly effective. The desire to devastate was your friends agenda.
5d               
41
4
Traveller @cityrider49
Wait, Atlanta isn't just an airport?
5d               
12
2
lilmissawesome @mschunkychick
Work flow pic.twitter.com/7QhIGd2vFX
5d               
1
Bo / Rach / Princess @bodachious
@Christal_L take it easy with your stripper money
5d in reply to Christal_L               
1
1
JustTheGuyInShades™® @schumyxxx
Managed to squeeze into a shirt I haven't worn in three years. Sweet success.

I'm still fat.
5d               
21
4
lilmissawesome @mschunkychick
@Christal_L oh how I love that song
5d in reply to Christal_L               
1
Scumbag Vérité @GeorgeScumbag
Trust me, rest of the world. I find US's arrogance appalling, too. But your do-nothing, know-it-all mouth is tiring like last year's pop hit
5d               
2
1
Scumbag Vérité @GeorgeScumbag
If the US ever stopped doing the heavy lifting, 80% of other nations would be bleeding from the ass in 90 days.

So please keep criticizing.
5d               
2
2
Scumbag Vérité @GeorgeScumbag
Participating in a discussion panel on a cable news channel so obscure, only dogs can hear it.
5d               
2
DelliiiMavle @DeliMavle
Ayy çok güzel . /"@yeryuzusenin: Küçük melek... pic.twitter.com/qXYXBsjE9Z"
5d               
8
3
Chris O. Antonetti @dunkatlarge
Today is the feast of St. James the Greater, apostle, martyr, and patron saint of Spain. pic.twitter.com/sb6Cb5aU3L
6d               
3
4
Quite Quiet One @QuiteQuietOne
I'm going to bake you a cake for your birthday - a sweet, moist, warm...I'm sorry, what was I talking about?
6d               
174
112
Queen RanDumb @InVisiHole
They're doing a remake of Point Break? Jesus Christ, may we keep ONE MOVIE for ourselves without it being ruined?
6d               
21
4
DaddyJew @DaddyJew
Some people will never fully understand the damage they've done to you
6d               
530
372
Bearcub @bearcub577
It may take a moment, but I can SEE the truth.
6d               
12
5
Alana Dill @alanapaints
@History_Pics The tea party was a bit awkward. Anna found it tough to bring the lobster out of his shell. The hawk just listened raptly.
6d in reply to History_Pics               
13
Mike Clarke @Mr_Mike_Clarke
Cat logic. pic.twitter.com/VGXAHvwhe4
6d               
228
220
Floyd @dafloydsta
You don't scare me internet bullies.

My soul's already an emotional graveyard.
6d               
233
138
Aimee Destremps @Flaims76
@Christal_L I went to school with a Kristopher.
6d in reply to Christal_L               
1
Clemdecision @cpsemple
Warring nations should hurl their politicians at each other.
7d               
19
10
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