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(O.@)2011-03-27
@FeastOfKings1,120 days
A bumble bee with the proportionate strength of 2 bumble bees
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31303311096
We found 95 favorite tweets.
pissfan95( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) @crimegolem
guys, I'm hunting the seven seas for pirate booty *stares at blackbeard's ass*
492d               
2
sweaty five dollars @iscoff
fun prank: get three pigs and label them 1, 2 and 3. Be content in the order you've temporarily imposed on a chaotic universe
500d               
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11
Megalodong @FrightShark
"And THAT is my essay on why the gender binary is a toxic social construct" *my manilla folder full of transformers yaoi falls open* oh no
516d               
4
big Dork @Grawly
"What did you do today?" "I jerked off to minecraft porn." "Oh rad dude, me too."
546d               
1
1
ᎷᏢᎻᎠ @MPHDmusic
THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE TWERK
555d               
3
VELVEETA BLOODFUCKER @PREMIUMPOMPOM
opinions are like assholes: everybody's entitled to one. ONE. if you express that you like pizza, that's IT. FOREVER
559d               
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3
Michael Hale @dogboner
damn.. he was right about one thing though i.imgur.com/4b9Rs.png
572d               
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egg dog @egg_dog
oh no! i didnt ordar the three curse meal. spookghetti, a slice of ghost! and cake! (the cake is a dracula)
572d               
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a skeleton dude @spookyskeletons
No, I don't want no bugs, bugs are a thing that don't get no love from me, always flyin' around or on the ground, or trying to eat a leaf
573d               
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frown. @TrillGrandpa
siri how come i get aroused when eating Fritos
574d               
5
5
Jorts RR Martin @scrublord
woman on the tv says she doesnt believe in abortions NO YOU DO NOT AGREE WITH ABORTIONS, YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE IN THEM BECAUSE THEY ARE REAL
578d               
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13
YOU GOT THAT WRONG @NotFaulty
Now if you check under your privilege, you'll see you've all won GUILT! GUILT FOR EVERYBODY
579d               
2
greg @jetgreguar
it is my funeral, on my tombstone i have engraved "finally escaped from Jocks, Preps, Twilight Fans, HATERS!!!!!!!!" a tear is shed by all
582d               
9
5
Marine Todd @chiiidog
pic.twitter.com/YSssL64d
585d               
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4
Marine Todd @chiiidog
when bush was born he weighed 9 lb 11 oz
585d               
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Mark Leggett @markleggett
Planes should be called "supermarines". The ends of pens should be flavoured. Men shouldn't have nipples. Bees should be huge and rideable.
586d               
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ᎷᏢᎻᎠ @MPHDmusic
"hip-hop is such a Republican genre of music, what with its rampant homophobia, overblown egos and materialism." genius
586d               
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1
Jeffrey Hadz @Hadzilla
I Declare A Thumb War Many Thumbs Will Die But Tales Of Our Thumbs Shall Echo Through Eternity
591d               
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egg dog @egg_dog
burglars be creeping around in sneakret be careful ur house dont get a burgle on it #crimetips #sneakret
595d               
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3
a real furby @gaysexHaver420
you: the huge yellow locomotive. me: the naked bald man furiously rubbing my body up against you in the train depot. let's hook up.
597d               
6
1
stefan @boring_as_heck
C:\Documents\user\Important\Work\Projects\Project3\Schematics\horse_sucking_its_own_dick.JPEG
601d               
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9
Jensen Karp @JensenClan88
Welcome to Sharper Image #4WordsAfterIntercourse
602d               
3
1
Mike @mike_br
i.imgur.com/auUgm.gif yesss
603d               
1
Mr. Radboy @MeepisMurder
im sorry for the time i slept over your house & we watched shrek together & i ruined your couch cushions with my cum
605d               
19
2
Mr. Radboy @MeepisMurder
sext: you remove my pants and my pubes are shaped like the bat signal. you look at me confused as batman breaks in & we have a freaky 3-way
608d               
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Georgene @Giania
❒Single ❒Taken ✔Event Horizon of An Endless Void
623d               
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6
Kelkulus @kelkulus
Now that fast food has a stance on gay rights, McDonald's is against healthcare, Subway hates gun control, and Burger King executes people.
626d               
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32
john freiler @johnfreiler
whenever i hear "muscle milk" i picture a cow with a bunch of dicks for udders
626d               
26
6
Greg @weedguy420boner
Ben Bernanke at the US Mint sniffing newly-printed bills whispering "Young money mother fucker"
626d               
31
22
VELVEETA BLOODFUCKER @PREMIUMPOMPOM
dedicating my life to getting teen boys into radical feminism
628d               
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2
VELVEETA BLOODFUCKER @PREMIUMPOMPOM
Dark Knight Rises spoiler: bane's weakness is that whenever he takes off the mouth mask he can't resist sucking every dick forever
640d               
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4
Mary Charlene @IamEnidColeslaw
It's high time someone remade "The Warriors," but with pugs.
641d               
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Mr. Radboy @MeepisMurder
REMINDER THAT THE 69TH POKEMON IS BELLSPROUT
647d               
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8
jon @senderblock23
You're the wind beneath my wings! Wait. Back up let me try this again. *clears throats* You're under arrest! -rookie cop
668d               
42
5
Daniel John @JohnielDan
I'd have an easier time naming the Mega Man villains than naming our last ten presidents.
669d               
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3
frown. @TrillGrandpa
NO ONE BABY SHOULD HAVE ALL THAT POWDER
670d               
4
5
George Dubstep Bush @hamsandcastle
#10WorstFeelings 1. (*≧д≦) 2. (ToT) 3. つ´Д`)つ 4. ヽ(´Д`;)ノ 5. (; _;) 6. (-_-#) 7. (´-ω-`) 8. (・ω・、) 9. ( ;∀;) 10. :(
671d               
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58
a skeleton dude @spookyskeletons
"Don't thank me, ma'am. Thank the Insane Clown Posse." The police officer replied before speeding away on his motorcycle
671d               
5
4
diaper dAn @Swell_Bro
Smokey th bear pummeling a panda eatin sugar cane in2 submission. Quoted as sayng "If i cant have it, no one cn!" he then krumped in2 forest
671d               
4
sweaty five dollars @iscoff
You're being sworn in as President & you can tell that everyone in the room has just read your "how long can I keep a shoe on my dick" tweet
674d               
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1
donni @donni
In a world where one man can change the world, one man...can change...the world. Worldman: Coming this fall.
674d               
115
23
Matt LeMay @mattlemay
HEY I JUST MET YOU / AND THIS IS CRAZY / HOW GIRL GET PRAGNENT / HOW IS FORMED BABBY
674d               
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sweaty five dollars @iscoff
*you find someone who has hanged himself with his braided ponytail* "Why did someone with such strong hair want to die?" you think
675d               
17
4
Mr. Radboy @MeepisMurder
john moe tractors. helping you farm your kawaii since 1837
675d               
3
Eli Yudin @eliyudin
Is it ok to ask a DJ for silence
675d               
32
9
sweaty five dollars @iscoff
I had two ribs removed so I could suck my own

meat off those ribs, mmm-mmm ribs are delicious
677d               
18
4
George Dubstep Bush @hamsandcastle
Sonic trudging through Milkshake City, Tails weighed down by the melty glop, Robotnik snickering, his moustache soaked in whipped topping
677d               
4
2
sweaty five dollars @iscoff
"I love tea bagging!" said Frank, the 93 year-old man who loved fresh peppermint tea and placing his testicles on things
678d               
10
6
Dan Duvall @lazerdoov
31 years of birthday candle wishes and I'm still not a fat sassy black woman.
678d               
41
16
Mr. Radboy @MeepisMurder
shaq walks into dunkin donuts and puts a munchkin inside a donut. "now that's a slam dunkin'" he says as he shoves it in his mouth
679d               
8
8
frown. @TrillGrandpa
The year 2078: gang initiations are based on how kawaii the person is. Gang wars are just hentai drawing contests.
681d               
3
1
frown. @TrillGrandpa
Dail Grimble, Henk Hills, Bill Doughtriv, Boomshaoeur, Bubby Hell, Pengy Hills, Loranne, Cutton, Labdydird, Joemseph #KengOfTheHils
681d               
4
frown. @TrillGrandpa
#CoolRapperNames IKEA Bookshelf da Kid
682d               
4
1
Trevor S @trevso_electric
I just want a DJ from the BBC's Radio One to follow me around and call everything I do "Massive!"
685d               
33
17
frown. @TrillGrandpa
SCIENTISTS CONFIRM MOON IS "WHITE AS HELL" AND "PRETTY DAMN BRIGHT, AT LEAST WHEN IT'S NOT CLOUDY" & WILL "BE OUR MOON FOR A WHILE PROBABLY"
686d               
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ᎷᏢᎻᎠ @MPHDmusic
Eat Kraft Singles In Your Area
688d               
3
4
Clarke Kant @clarkekant
I’ll bet a hung jury would make for great porn.
688d               
45
7
frown. @TrillGrandpa
Welcome to Hoodburger home of the Hoodburger *burger is a Glock 18 between two buns dipped in ice, son*
689d               
3
2
frown. @TrillGrandpa
BURRITO GAME COSBY, STEAK'S SO SAUCY
694d               
3
1
YWIR @YWIR
Alternate dimension. Only difference is that all Klingons wore bow ties on star trek.
694d               
6
Anthony @nedroid
#didyouknow: Jim Davis is the highest-paid cartoonist in the world. Last year he made almost eight hundred dollars
705d               
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226
Mark Leggett @markleggett
Sandpeople always block caller ID to hide their numbers.
709d               
81
55
Larry @VocabuLarry
We are slashing prices. Absolutely gutting them. We are disemboweling prices and stringing them up with their own entrails. Do you get it?
709d               
68
7
David Angelo @MrDavidAngelo
My favorite subgenre of Christian rock is Pentecostal grindcore.
709d               
3
2
Anthony @nedroid
Three letter word for #egg, starts with E??? pic.twitter.com/6agKu326
710d               
31
24
Eli Yudin @eliyudin
Sorry other foods, we made Oreos into a milkshake and you're no longer needed
711d               
10
Chopper @chopper4jk
Ladies, if you’re suffering from vaginal dryness, dump that boring ass dude and get one that turns you the fuck on!
719d               
124
27
G.T. Collins @fleshcake
Going with water again? Very original, clouds.
719d               
110
133
Alexandra L Harris @DelphiLeaders
People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of their character. Ralph Waldo Emerson
722d               
6
8
rob delaney @robdelaney
"Heaven must be missing an angel girl, cuz usually they dispatch a mighty angel to hunt & kill a nasty filth demon like you."
724d               
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797
Mark Leggett @markleggett
Wow. The TSA sound like an airport-based mafia comprised of Nazis, sex offenders, and drug dealers. But hey, you guys all wanted them!
724d               
14
5
Mike Drucker @MikeDrucker
"Invest for the Emperor!" - Warhammer 401K
724d               
15
5
Harold @NotHarold
If I were to ever drop the soap in prison, I would immediately shove it up my butt. Thus, preventing any rude dudes from getting in there.
724d               
4
3
Brandon Gutermuth @UNTRESOR
The only time I ever sent a dick pic it was to the Center for Disease Control in Atlanta. They made a movie about it called "28 Days Later."
724d               
27
8
Mark Leggett @markleggett
People always wear sunglasses when there's no need, but I wear a beekeeping suit in a shopping mall one time and everyone screams "BEES!"
726d               
31
11
David Angelo @MrDavidAngelo
I do it all for you! twitpic.com/9bumks
730d               
6
Mark Leggett @markleggett
Draw me like one of your French girls using the honey mustard ranch dressing, Subway artist.
733d               
53
16
YWIR @YWIR
There he goes, the crazy guy who walks on the railway tracks coast to coast, fighting every train he meets.
733d               
11
YWIR @YWIR
What kind of thing had a Krang for a brain at one point?
733d               
3
Jensen Karp @JensenClan88
EXCLUSIVE PICTURE FROM DR. DRE'S COACHELLA REHEARSAL - pic.twitter.com/osbCPDV5
734d               
10
13
Jeffrey Hadz @Hadzilla
Doctor was all like "more bowel movements" but I heard "owl movements" I ate some mice and turned my head around shit really got weird man.
739d               
44
12
rob delaney @robdelaney
Sort of rude to kiss your husband right in front of me when I've been looking at your boobs from behind a tree for 20 min.
739d               
787
803
Mark Leggett @markleggett
My cat is just lying on the floor, soaking up the Sun. Once the Sun is depleted and "Frosty" is fully charged, I shall ride her to Neptune.
753d               
47
39
Dan Cronin @croninwhocares
Next project? A roundtable show where guys just talk about their favorite sweatshirts they've owned over the years.
761d               
27
2
YWIR @YWIR
How it feels to have spent the entire weekend on the internet: gifsound.com/?gif=http%3A%2…
762d               
3
Anthony @nedroid
"I AM A MOCKERY OF NATURE" pic.twitter.com/xoJW8xBJ
766d               
20
23
Mark Leggett @markleggett
You have chosen to steal the wizard's shit. Now you look fuckin' balla son! Dayum! Upload some self shots using his, no… YOUR new iPhone.
768d               
59
18
Neal Brennan @nealbrennan
The internet is like a "Choose Your Own Adventure" book, except this adventure always ends with me masturbating.
770d               
359
697
Mark Leggett @markleggett
The Guinness Book of World Records has once again listed the Guinness Book of World Records as the world's best book of world records.
773d               
31
11
Alexandra L Harris @DelphiLeaders
I am no lion to overpower my enemies. Winning over myself, if I can; is enough. Rumi
777d               
2
1
Johnny McNulty @JohnnyMcNulty
I just cleaned my apartment. So this is what Olympic gold medalists feel.
777d               
3
1
Jeffrey Hadz @Hadzilla
Ran out of spoons so I'm using Tostitos Scoops to eat my Apple Jacks and this is rock bottom
779d               
78
17
Anthony @nedroid
Pictured: a typical American breakfast #USA #USA pic.twitter.com/98s23zpj
783d               
38
52
Matt Goldich @MattGoldich
Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum are tied in two new national surveys. A disgusted Rick Santorum said ties should be between a man and a woman.
794d               
5
1
Sean Murray @seanmurray
Good news. My annual streak of trying to unroll socks by shaking them loose with one hand then hitting myself in the balls is still alive.
1146d               
91
23
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