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ιηкє∂ gσ∂∂єѕѕHΞLL2011-12-06
@alwayzintruble1,018 days
вιρσℓαя. ¢αηα∂ιαη. gуρѕу. тαттσσє∂. ριєя¢є∂. в∂ѕм. нυмαηιѕт. ι ∂ση'т вєℓιєνє ιη gσ∂, ѕσ ∂ση'т тяу тσ ¢нαηgє му мιη∂
FollowersFollowingTweetsListsFavorites
8,5412,30137,20034632,206
We found 193 favorite tweets.
☜☆☞ Legion ☜☆☞ @SinLegion
I would die a million deaths before I'd let someone take my choice from me
63d               
7
3
BeardedSteel @BeardedSteel
Hey guys with girlfriends: She licks your balls! Buy her a dress, take her someplace nice on Friday night, and hold her doors open for her.
63d               
84
36
Mrs. Sassy Pants @TheDanielleRock
You know that space between would and should?

That's life.
63d               
127
92
MattZilla @mattZillaaaa
I love you & other things I hate about myself
63d               
46
21
Ortho Princess @L_Co13
I wish I got more creepy/dirty DMs.

I feel left out guys
63d               
3
Steve Suckington @SteveSuckington
You can't stop me from wearing this tank top. I have the right to bare arms.
63d               
186
101
C C @ScreaminMomX2
No sweetheart, people really don't want to hear the truth.
That's why we're all a bunch of liars.
63d               
10
miss charades @ShockTartBionic
Nice retweets you cheap bastard
63d               
32
13
OhSweetCharity @MyFairCharity
Can you overthink yourself to death?
63d               
94
56
Super Girl @AphroditeAfter5
He is the man in my heart and between my legs
64d               
145
82
Neil @youngestneil
You misinterpreted what I said. When I said I'd fuck you up. I meant against a wall.
64d               
184
80
Crêpe E. Phuquer @creepyphuquer
@alwayzintruble 9.99
64d in reply to alwayzintruble               
1
Vodka n Tots @Vodkantots
Teacher: Are you high?
Me: If I were high, could I do this?

*does absolutely nothing
64d               
294
177
JA @thatguyJA
I can't wait to judge how far you let yourself go all day today
64d               
4
Prince-Green Jr Esq @PrinceGreenJr
Just when I thought I couldn't feel any more meh today happened....
64d               
26
14
st✪✪pid @st00pidfast
I make it sound like I'm really disappointed in myself when I cum in 30 seconds.

But I'm not.
64d               
13
4
Mr @SmartAssBastard
Fun fact:

If you cut off a white girls head

She'll still continue taking selfies for 3 minutes.
64d               
505
327
Rob Knows Stuff @ForeverHairy
4 (crying): I don't want sleep alone.

Me: Yes you do. Well in about 30 years at least.
64d               
19
5
moody monday @mdob11
A surprise party to let you know we're dating now.
64d               
1,048
495
Toxic Probably @ToxicProbably
Uh oh. Keep being cute and I might start subtweeting you.
64d               
59
41
Crazy Canuck @taps0420
Wish it was still the 90's so I could just break dance my way out of an awkward situation.
64d               
31
16
Mss Kiki E @MssKikiE
black [k]night whispers
tales of desire and torment
/a rare gift/
filling my thawed heart
with brilliant warmth
and hope
64d               
10
2
I am CanadianCyn @CanadianCyn
I didn't cry today.

Also didn't dance a jig, have sex, brush my hair or learn to knit.

I did drool a bit so life seems somewhat normal.
64d               
196
68
st✪✪pid @st00pidfast
I still call all the strange men that come to my house in the middle of the night "Uncle".
64d               
17
8
Patrick McLellan @pmclellan
gang life isn't that bad imo. Lots of dancing in the street, great music, camaraderie, the murdering of innocents with stray bullets...
64d               
2
1
Toxic Probably @ToxicProbably
It's fine. I like being ignored.
65d               
108
70
Sweet Ass Andrea @Andee_Stewart
When you starve someone of attention you feed their insecurities
65d               
421
244
Mss Kiki E @MssKikiE
Influence my affilliative behaviors by inundating my brain with oxycontin. I mean oxytocin.
65d               
8
1
~Cindy~ @CindyNoPants
How soon after you finally get all your ducks in a row are you able to eat them?
65d               
83
32
Eggs.Smokes.Ex. @EggsSmokesEx
My skin was on fire while I was trying to sleep last night. A side effect of carbs and age.
How much damage can an airsoft gun do?
65d               
1
Tribesman Marc @The_Marcness
And apparently my phone corrects faceride to Facerideville..

I'm Ok with this
65d               
11
2
That Mothafucka™ @Sal0630
A deadly blow, seems like a pretty great way to go.
65d               
231
146
Sir Strange @Sir_Strange
Paradise is a place called nowhere.
65d               
69
49
PUNTED CUNT TORNADO @SaraESpivey
I'm fairly certain that IKEA makes human hearts.

And that's why they're so damn hard to put back together when they break.
65d               
36
2
Intrinsic Alchemist @BrutalParagon
Work. It's what pays for dinner. My dinner anyway
65d               
5
1
i'maballerina @Browneyed_mama
Life is full of piles of crap with some happy shit buried underneath.
65d               
15
8
i'maballerina @Browneyed_mama
I delete what I don't want to see.
65d               
17
9
i'maballerina @Browneyed_mama
As long as you DON'T FUCKING LIE TO ME, it'll all be good.
65d               
24
15
yvan @why_vann
You really gotta hand it to short people....
...cuz they usually cant reach it anyway
65d               
6
3
The Weeping Prophet @GaelicMohawk
The answer is: never
65d               
4
1
☠Êv¡£☠Genius☠ @That_Damn_Duck
People ask me all the time “How do you star so fast?” the answer is simple, I’m a ninja wizard, that's right a mother fucking ninja wizard.
65d               
190
71
The Weeping Prophet @GaelicMohawk
Check your tone, bitch. I'll slap ya right in the b-hole
65d               
3
DIXINORMUS @dixinormus10
Girls who don't wear panties never have to worry about matching their bra and we can hang out. Bitches.
65d               
26
9
wussawilla @Chloestylo
You betray yourself first when you betray the trust of others..
65d               
66
26
StarkCity @StarkCity
How do you even throw ninja kicks in those skinny jeans bro?
65d               
11
10
CLIFFORD @CliffordMyers
People are eventually going to stop naming their children Tyler. I like that
65d               
6
Truculent @Truculent67
I'm 3 beers in love with you
65d               
187
116
The Eh Factor @AngelaEhh
Yes. I'm aware that i'm gross.

It's endearing, let it happen.
65d               
483
240
Nerf Herder @TrueTorontoGirl
I ignore myself enough for everyone.
65d               
65
27
Jeff @jeffcvo24
I haven't answered my house phone in 10 years.
65d               
39
19
Rock @TheMichaelRock
Oh, you're going to your beach house this weekend? That's cute. I don't even own luggage.
66d               
261
122
Enraged Asshole @maulingasshole
Saw a black guy walking with a boom box. Don’t blacks know that we have things called iPods? Or is there such a thing as ghetto hipsters?
66d               
10
2
FUCKYOUSTUPIDFUCKS @_KOALA_HUG_
Always assume nobody reads your tweets because that way you'll feel more free and can be more honest. Also because nobody reads your tweets.
66d               
43
39
Intrinsic Alchemist @BrutalParagon
I'll take one more glass of whiskey for win, Pat.

That's not how we play Wheel of Fortune, sir.
66d               
3
Melaine @Mel46290
Block me like the little bitch you are.
66d               
12
2
i'maballerina @Browneyed_mama
I am dying for 12 eggs, 15 slices of bacon, 4 pieces of toast and a stick of butter. So I'll eat this rice cake as a substitute.
66d               
43
12
Rhode Island Mike @littlemaclarge
By a show of hands how many of you are Masturbating with the other one?!......
66d               
7
3
JA @thatguyJA
I asked my wife what's wrong and now I'm late for work tomorrow
66d               
128
67
L'uk-El @Disasterp1ce
I'm thoroughly convinced that Twitter is secretly owned by a conglomerate of air lines and travel agencies!!
66d               
3
3
goo @goonumbertwo
i dunno about you guys, but i'm ready to suck todays dick.
66d               
11
3
I am CanadianCyn @CanadianCyn
Since I've moved to this country town I've seen 2 cats and over 30 bunnies.

They must fuck like rabbits out here.
66d               
89
13
FUCKYOUSTUPIDFUCKS @_KOALA_HUG_
"Wow those people who do drama on Twitter are so cool, they look so smart!" - said nobody ever.
66d               
14
2
moody monday @mdob11
*at the cat shelter*
Yes hi, where are the shopping carts?
66d               
1,918
1,316
FUCKYOUSTUPIDFUCKS @_KOALA_HUG_
If you love someone, don't hurt them. But if they hurt you, you gotta hurt them back. But if they love you, they won't hurt you.
66d               
16
26
Sir Strange @Sir_Strange
We fell in love...

As our food was brought to the table.
66d               
77
49
KWB @KittyWittyBang
I'm going to church and I'm going to pray for all of you because that's what Jesus would do. I hope you all come clean before judgement day.
66d               
8
2
Toxic Probably @ToxicProbably
Autocorrect is a filthy whore.
Not in the good way.
66d               
95
53
J @Its_Baldylockz
Long Island iced tea is just like regular iced tea except it sold its hockey team to a completely broke guy
66d               
47
23
J @Its_Baldylockz
Hey girl, are you Joe Theismann's leg cause I'm about to shatter you

Flirting is hard
66d               
76
27
Missy Slaughter @MizzSlaughter
Someone actually DMed me and informed me they were unfollowing because I was 'Surly'. I like that. Rhymes with my pubes. Curly.
66d               
3
HeWhoCanNotBeNamed @Machine_ov_Hate
I'm what's hiding under your bed
66d               
10
3
FollowTheBeard @RodneyH42
Yea I can do that

-me, right before I find out the hard way that I can't do that
66d               
22
14
Chewstroke @chewstroke
I hated you and i liked it.
66d               
45
20
Amber @SunnySideUp1987
Share a Coke with me so I know you're too cheap to buy me something gold and expensive.
66d               
174
96
Sir Strange @Sir_Strange
If you spread her legs, doesn't every woman have a thigh gap?
66d               
158
85
i'maballerina @Browneyed_mama
Some of you people are so full of crap I just want to stab you. Just sayin.
66d               
10
4
KWB @KittyWittyBang
I don't wear watermelon flavored or scented anything for safety purposes.
66d               
15
5
Doubting Thomas @Incognitoville
I think I am gonna drink some soda. I'm such a fucking rebel.
66d               
4
1
Steve Sinful @HornyDevilxxx
Some cool peeps followed me.

Some assholey cunts unfollowed me.

Stats of the day.
66d               
3
2
mιѕѕ єmιℓу @emily_starr
This human thing isn't really working out so well... Is it too late to change and just be a cat instead?
66d               
6
why? @knot_eye
You play beer pong, too!?
It's like we're Solo™ mates!
66d               
161
105
Travis LeBlanc @TravLeBlanc
Um. No. You must be joking...
66d               
45
12
why? @knot_eye
You masturbate, too!?
It's like we're solo mates!
66d               
182
129
Angel Bunny @canadasnobaby
..I'll just slip out of these wet clothes and into a dry martini ..
66d               
26
4
Me,Myself & I @Rolltide_mn
What DOES Canada do in between Hockey seasons?
66d               
38
17
goo @goonumbertwo
i need a vicks back rub, because that's how i roll.
66d               
7
1
GinRumMe @GinRumMe
Emergency! Pull out!
66d               
9
1
I apologize @brianburchett24
how can I be good enough for u,
when I'm not even good for me..
66d               
49
21
Miss Moneypenny @_Ms_Moneypenny_
Always have important discussions via text. It's the perfect way to miscommunicate & get so frustrated you'll throw yourself into a volcano.
66d               
190
108
Tony Maguire @filmbizpro
Sorry dude, I don't speak "bro".
66d               
37
18
IG fusedude @fusedude
I must be one of the luckiest guys alive. I'm always getting blowjobs from girls that "Don't normally do this."
66d               
298
147
I am CanadianCyn @CanadianCyn
It's my twitter.

It's my real life.

It's the good and bad.

Sorry pieces of my brain got on you when it exploded.

Anyone want pie?
66d               
175
48
Missy Slaughter @MizzSlaughter
The firefights over Pakistan are beautiful in HD.
66d               
2
1
Sarcasmo @Sarcasmo718
You know what you can't unfollow? Freedom.
66d               
33
9
Missy Slaughter @MizzSlaughter
Can I light the fuse on your Tampon?
66d               
6
3
MMMMMMark @Eightinchgoat
I was just reminded that Hashtags aren't cool. News Flash: We're all on Twitter … Ain't none of us cool!
66d               
92
47
RogueBastard @RogueGod
Some people talk too fucking much. Shut up already for fuck sake.
66d               
106
41
THE PRETTY @SharpesEyeView
Being ignored by almost three thousand strangers is a uniquely liberating experience I guess.
66d               
27
4
Fabulously Stepford @once_fabulous
Renovating my closet to accommodate my growing skeleton population
66d               
36
17
Missy Slaughter @MizzSlaughter
All these fuckers trying to yank my chain are adorable.
66d               
3
1
@twinanator @twinanator
I'm thinking I slap on my modified easter bunny outfit with the razor teeth and see what the kids at the local elementary school are doing.
66d               
26
2
The Robfather™ @thatUPSdude
You make TommyKarate look normal.
66d               
48
15
RogueBastard @RogueGod
As sure as you'll post a whiny poor me post, I'll star it. And I'm NOT doing it out of sympathy or empathy.

Suffer. Cunts.
67d               
50
12
.:. @TransaparenT
Let me tell you a little about loss. It's an echo... It's something you hear at the most unexpected times. It's you.
67d               
7
1
Prince-Green Jr Esq @PrinceGreenJr
I've heard more interesting stories from a fax machine....
67d               
16
9
Prince-Green Jr Esq @PrinceGreenJr
We're born with only two fear instincts, falling and loud noises so stfu about....

OH FUCK, A SPIDER....
67d               
19
8
DeeLiciousRockin' @TDeeRock
It's just some internet guy. It's never more and you're not different. No matter what he says.
67d               
17
5
PixieMuff @CherBear162
Single sad a virgin in your late 30's..No relationship experience whatsoever..But get a Twitter account suddenly you're the fucking Oracle.
67d               
13
2
Arrogant Twat @Arrogant_Twat
The cool thing about being an adult is, unless they're legislated, there are no rules.
67d               
16
3
Jack Mackenroth @jackmackenroth
Woman behind me at DMV: "You reek of marijuana."

Me: "Well you reek of Lane Bryant."
67d               
133
28
Rhode Island Mike @littlemaclarge
Do 'Any' of you shudder when I star and rt you?.........
67d               
2
Rico. @trashman74
Someone forgot to tell my company they freed the slaves.
67d               
5
notyourjester @Loli_Sug
Lighten up. It's just a joke about murdering a bunch of people.
67d               
29
7
Steve Sinful @HornyDevilxxx
The people who unfollow me won't be missed.

Because they're obviously tight assed cunts.

Know what I mean?
67d               
3
1
The Weeping Prophet @GaelicMohawk
It's cool if you forget about me. I'll always be here
67d               
5
3
Ink @Duke1173
Erect nipples are attention whores.
67d               
89
40
RogueBastard @RogueGod
I bet not one 'inspirational' tweet here has caused anyone to stop and change their life. No one cares and most mock the tweets. Cunts.
67d               
55
12
notyourjester @Loli_Sug
Slide down my rainbow into my cellar door
67d               
21
2
Intrinsic Alchemist @BrutalParagon
You can tell them all you want, it won't be heard in the same tone.
67d               
10
2
Pony Starwars @tigersgoroooar
When I die, I just want everyone at my funeral to sit there and solemnly quack in unison like they do on Mighty Ducks.
67d               
341
131
Rough Hands @RoughHanded
I'm sorry you're dying inside.
Take me with you?
67d               
50
18
Sarcasmo @Sarcasmo718
45 minutes of every Kardashian episode is watching them pack.
67d               
48
16
☠Êv¡£☠Genius☠ @That_Damn_Duck
Nothing like a screaming child in Walmart to remind me to purchase condoms.
67d               
366
179
Ink @Duke1173
A dream so real that you can feel it touch you...

Ok, maybe I'm touching myself while dreaming..

Same difference.
67d               
105
63
goo @goonumbertwo
my tweets are inspirational, i hope they all inspire you to go fuck yourself.
67d               
32
15
Puddin Cuddle-Thug @PuddingBoobs
@alwayzintruble pic.twitter.com/watsX5Y9PD
67d in reply to alwayzintruble               
9
4
CLIFFORD @CliffordMyers
Weirdos, losers, misfits and tramps! Lend me your stupid, ugly ears!
67d               
7
1
James CullenBressack @JamesCullenB
Is there a town in Indiana called Jones? I'd like to be from Indiana jones
67d               
29
5
Super Girl @AphroditeAfter5
I just have to wonder sometimes if they are hurting as much as they hurt me
67d               
312
174
Shōgun of Twîtter @shwebby3
Here I thought Alienate meant probing an ass

No wonder so many women freaked out in bed. Now I regret the prude comment...
67d               
70
26
Bob Heller @Bob_Heller
If you are at a bar watching the World Cup, at least you're at a bar.
67d               
57
22
Prince-Green Jr Esq @PrinceGreenJr
If God was real his sex tape would definitely have been leaked by now....
68d               
16
9
goo @goonumbertwo
i can tell by the way your wife is eye-fucking me that you don't hit it right.
68d               
43
14
Travis LeBlanc @TravLeBlanc
Standup comics spend half their time talking about how stupid television is and the other half trying to get on it.
68d               
167
57
Tony Maguire @filmbizpro
The sound of missing you, I hear it everywhere I go. The fucking silence is so loud.
68d               
28
11
StarkCity @StarkCity
No fucks shall be given on this sabbath day........ No really, god said.
68d               
20
14
FUCKYOUSTUPIDFUCKS @_KOALA_HUG_
The word "selfie" is way too overused, I'm starting to hate it.
68d               
4
1
FUCKYOUSTUPIDFUCKS @_KOALA_HUG_
If I could delete people's Twitter accounts, most of you cunts wouldn't be on here right now.
68d               
7
3
Neil @youngestneil
It's 'let me make you gag on my shaft as you deep throat' o'clock somewhere in the world.
68d               
32
8
why? @knot_eye
you say potato, i say peyote
68d               
268
161
RogueBastard @RogueGod
Why do people insist on dumping their entire draft folder at once? It's annoying and you are NOT funny. Just stop, cunts.
68d               
79
15
FUCKYOUSTUPIDFUCKS @_KOALA_HUG_
I just ate my breakfast and now I'm gonna go back to sleep. Wake me up when.. haha kidding, fuck off! Leave me alone!
69d               
11
2
PUNTED CUNT TORNADO @SaraESpivey
1 out of every 4 girls is a whore. So look around.

Spot the whore?

Make that 2 out of 4.

Whore.
69d               
68
13
Toxic Probably @ToxicProbably
You and your twittercrush are annoying. There. I said it.
69d               
128
79
Jarhead @Jarhead44
Hey, weight loss commercials, sometimes I like her better in the "before" photo.
70d               
771
457
Mss Kiki E @MssKikiE
me
my neuroses
and I
70d               
40
22
Ohmyleah @_theigirl
Without help, none of us live.

@CanadianCyn family has suffered a great loss.
Please donate here under FIRE SUPPORT donatetoday.ca
70d               
18
19
I am CanadianCyn @CanadianCyn
My brother inlaw died getting his kids and wife out from a fire. They're 5, 7 and 11. I can't even comfort them. Its been less than 48 hours
70d               
81
23
goo @goonumbertwo
guys always notice your eyes before your tits.

how else do we know what blowjobs will be like?
71d               
23
5
Rock God @redpawn3
IF it were my child… I'd teach them not to eat or drink things from friends or strangers.

NOT create a false sense of security.
71d               
7
Puddin Cuddle-Thug @PuddingBoobs
I'm having beers to prepare for shaving my legs. I predict it's going to be a blood bath.
THESE TWEETS ARE FREE!
71d               
155
35
RogueBastard @RogueGod
Misery loves company. That's why I block overly happy and inspirational accounts. I want it raw and dirty. Cunts.
72d               
127
44
jacquelin @viciousbabydoll
Two people gored during the running of the bulls?

GOOD. It's a pity there weren't more.
72d               
13
3
FUCKYOUSTUPIDFUCKS @_KOALA_HUG_
You look so sad. Are you Brazilian?
72d               
8
2
TaintUrBalls @TaintUrBalls
...but..I was about to get into some gangsta shit.
72d               
25
15
Travis LeBlanc @TravLeBlanc
OK, Brazil. You suck at soccer now. Now fix your fucking country.
72d               
109
40
Beware of XTC™ @missxtc604
@alwayzintruble Ummm kissing it is ONE of the things I would do to your ass LOL :-P hehehe
72d in reply to alwayzintruble               
1
Beware of XTC™ @missxtc604
@alwayzintruble HA you get a RT for this one :-P
72d in reply to alwayzintruble               
1
UCMEICU2 @ExploringUrMind
I'm going to drink beer. No vagina riots needed.
72d               
9
Darlene @SarcasticWonder
@alwayzintruble I just take notes
72d in reply to alwayzintruble               
1
TaintUrBalls @TaintUrBalls
I sure wish I had all that weed back that I've brushed off my pant legs over the years.
72d               
62
34
Fuck Your Account @NotAtAllFunny
When you die take me with you.
72d               
71
39
FUCKYOUSTUPIDFUCKS @_KOALA_HUG_
So I unfollowed this girl some days ago and wow I guess it pissed her off cuz now she's DMing my friends and insulting them. What a cunt!
73d               
10
1
Tribesman Marc @The_Marcness
There's really not an uncreepy way to tell someone you would wear them like a surgeon's mask
73d               
8
4
L'uk-El @Disasterp1ce
I always wonder what kind of mutant birth defect half face AVI's arehiding
73d               
3
ShotofCherye @CheryeDavis
But how can you be sure it's a horrible idea unless you give it a try.
73d               
514
390
DoesItMatter @LuvsOralFun
ProTip: I'm not a pro so be leery of any tips i give...
73d               
13
6
Prince-Green Jr Esq @PrinceGreenJr
If you're pissed at me but haven't got the bollocks to actually say so I will just be extra fucking cheerful cos fuck you....
73d               
17
6
RogueBastard @RogueGod
Just watched a guy say his bible tells him being gay is linked to a mental defect. Glad I have a fucking brain and don't read the bible.
73d               
86
29
Daniel Plainview @10InchesPlus
I might be lacking in accountability but it's all your fault.
73d               
155
96
RogueBastard @RogueGod
Sports aren't the problem. It's sports fans who are the tragedy.
73d               
67
18
tazz @noneofyours99
I'm sorry I'm not fake

Has never suited me

What you see is what you fucking get
73d               
45
16
Uncle Duke @UncleDuke1969
"It won't fit."
"Try a different angle."
"Ow!"
"Now, push back."
"It's too BIG."
"Switch positions."
"No WAY we're getting this couch in."
73d               
232
166
tazz @noneofyours99
Don't forget to tell someone to fuck the fuck off today
73d               
66
40
Nurse Rotten @Nichole_Lindsey
Will buying a new pair of shoes make me a better person?

YES!
73d               
7
Spanky McDutcherson @thatdutchperson
Shut the fuck up, Karen, Leonardo isn't anyone's favorite turtle.
73d               
33
10
i'maballerina @Browneyed_mama
This fucking funny, witty man must be followed ---> @luvstank
73d               
3
DJ Dishpan Hands @aimeevc1970
I want a job in the quality control department of a vibrator factory.
73d               
20
4
Rhode Island Mike @littlemaclarge
Sometimes when someone follows me I think...."Are you Sure?".....
73d               
9
5
Wonder Woman @TheSweetestD_
Yes, you can get a ride with me but I'm going straight to hell.
73d               
58
24
Shelly @SheOverAnalyzes
She's pretty and funny. Let's rip her to shreds.

~petty women
73d               
338
178
MMMMMMark @Eightinchgoat
Hey Beastie Boys:

It's been almost 30 years and I still haven't made it to Brooklyn. Can't I take a little nap? Or at least rest my eyes?
73d               
91
43
Ryan Gosling the 3rd @SuchaDumbWorld
Dump him. You're better off with me.

Shit sorry, I must have accidentally pocket texted you.
73d               
40
12
Burning In HD @BurningInHD
Things I think about when I wake up:

- I'M LATE! FUCK!!!
- wait, what day is it?
-
- omg I had a wet dream
73d               
11
3
i'maballerina @Browneyed_mama
I totally recommend that. @luvstank @alwayzintruble
73d in reply to goonumbertwo               
3
TeeJay A.O.M.U @TeejayRush
Sorry I can't make it to your wedding, bro. If you let me know when the date of the next one, I'll try and make that...
73d               
23
15
Rob Knows Stuff @ForeverHairy
A panic room but for when the wife comes home right when the laptop screen gets frozen while watching porn.
73d               
10
3
Vinnie A @GroupieNo1
RT if you don't wipe your own ass.
73d               
2
1
st✪✪pid @st00pidfast
Some bowls were just not designed for cereal.
73d               
4
1
goo @goonumbertwo
guys, one third of your life will be spent explaining things to women, find one who gives fantastic hummers.
73d               
38
14
Rock @TheMichaelRock
Make sure to censor your tweets so that strangers don't think you're a f*cking degenerate.
73d               
72
20
Nerf Herder @TrueTorontoGirl
I'm fucking delightful! Deal with it.
73d               
80
47
Mucky Sod @headway10
There are times, when Oil is totally essential......
73d               
5
1
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