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ImageNameLocationTwitter sinceLinks
Zayn MalikMarried To @Lil_Woodzy ▲2011-03-29
@zaynmalik_penis1,250 days
Cristess&BeyhIVe ♥ 1DSLUT4LIFE
FollowersFollowingTweetsListsFavorites
91,6551,61291,6991146,199
We found 196 favorite tweets.
zaynmalik1D @zaynmalik
Chillin in the bedroom #StoryfOfMyLife ! :) x smarturl.it/StoryOfMyLife pic.twitter.com/r8uTLknIGH
301d               
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عائشة @jdbdirections
I love @zaynmalik_penis more than anyone ok 💖
565d               
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1
zaynmalik1D @ZaynMalikFansUK
well choose some of them (zayn's fan accounts) so i c... — @teammalikx @zaynmalik_penis @TeamMalikUK there are o... ask.fm/a/29qnkaia
574d               
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1
Nisa @ReBelleQueen
#BestLivePerformers Beyoncé. End of the story
591d               
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louis chavlinson @barebacklouis
But guys @zaynmalik_penis has like the best music taste ever u can all go cry in the corneR
593d               
1
Robb Stark @joeefoster
@zaynmalik_penis very well then @Beyonce I know you NEVER tweet but girl thank you for being so god damn sexy you crazy chick
594d in reply to zaynmalik_penis               
1
Robb Stark @joeefoster
Interactions blowing up thanks to @zaynmalik_penis I think a thankyou is in order
594d               
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@FuckYeah_1D
Who is your favourite directioner big account? — @HannSX_1D and @niamcentral oh and @zaynmalik_penis hahah xx... ask.fm/a/235pcphg
594d               
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عائشة @jdbdirections
J'dore @zaynmalik_penis
595d in reply to zaynmalik_penis               
1
sam carr @saamcarr
Miss you @zaynmalik_penis
598d               
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louis chavlinson @barebacklouis
@ArianaToJai I'm closer to you and @zaynmalik_penis than everyone I know in person...
599d in reply to idkrosa               
2
hi @wonderwalllarry
Still loving @zaynmalik_penis' tweets. ✌
602d               
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ouarda delahrouch @XOUARDAROSE
@zaynmalik_penis just listened to that song #kanye heartless
608d in reply to zaynmalik_penis               
1
☆. @mandarineharry
#PeopleWhoHaveMadeMy2012 @zaynmalik_penis @SexyLikeZiam @Lali_Torquato @_ThainaraSilva @OurGirlDemetria @ZiamIsReal @BowtiesForJade <3
613d               
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☆. @mandarineharry
watching beyonce videos and it reminds me of @zaynmalik_penis hahaha <3
628d               
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Ellapaige @EllapaigeMusic
And you the type of girl that prolly deserve a new last name instagr.am/p/SquuH2oCPg/
637d               
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Ellapaige @EllapaigeMusic
@carolinedjb: this is so sick. all white everythiiiing pic.twitter.com/vYxC3Zyx” we need to hit the club like this!!! Hahaaa
639d               
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2
☆. @mandarineharry
@zaynmalik_penis our husbands.. pic.twitter.com/GUr8kpDN
643d in reply to zaynmalik_penis               
1
@hzeniall
fav zayn acc — I don't follow a lot but er.. @zaynmalik_penis @ZaynMaliksWorld... ask.fm/a/1bqaa9gh
643d               
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Christ In Me † @GodWillAdd_
Me and the girlfriend pic.twitter.com/nWvFSQYp
644d               
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5
mollie @MrsNiallJHoran
@zaynmalik_penis your tweets make me laugh so much...♥ love your fanpage so much!!!xx
690d in reply to zaynmalik_penis               
1
dani @dani_jpg
aw i look so young on this pic.twitter.com/Tj5uLNUz
697d               
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1D Updates @1Dreportdaily
LIAM(8-10) ZAYN(10-12) NIALL(12-2) LOUIS(2-4) HARRY(4-6) -next Saturday on Radio 1 times!!
702d               
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Roc Nation @RocNation
American Dreamin' instagr.am/p/PxR44xIJ6d/
709d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Michelle Obama is like the political version of Beyonce.
715d               
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mrs Bieber @0neDirectionJB
JESS? If you're reading this, fuck you for not talking to me anymore. Miss you man. X
717d               
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1
louis chavlinson @barebacklouis
i swear twitter would be boring without darartu and jess.
732d               
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louis chavlinson @barebacklouis
I love you two so much, @zaynmalik_penis @ImCharlieWbu I dunno what I'd do without you on twitter :) <3
735d in reply to zaynmalik_penis               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Me: Hey I just met you- Stranger: *Walks away* Me: NOW YOU'RE JUST SOMEBODY I USED TO KNOW!
753d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Me: African love you. Boy: Not again. Me: Kenya believe it ? Boy: Fucking stop. Me: What Uganda do about it?
753d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Of course gay guys dress well… they didn’t spend all that time in the closet doing nothing.
753d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Don't kill yourself over a boy, he'll bring another girl to your funeral.
762d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Kanye West could say, "I love God", and y'all would be like, "God ends with D, and Devil starts with D, which means he's in the Illuminati."
762d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
My Twitlonger - Its 9:27am on a normal school day morning and you’re sitting in assembly. You’ve sat through... tmblr.co/ZRUX5wPtv_x0
768d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Being gay is fine. Being bisexual is fine. Being lesbian is fine. Being straight is fine. Want to know what's not fine? Judging them.
771d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
I have a smart phone with a dumb battery.
778d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
I’m on that new diet where you eat everything and hope for a miracle.
778d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Me: I'm fat.
Society: Attention seeker!
Me: I'm skinny.
Society: Self obsessed!
Me: *kills myself*
Society: She was so beautiful..
778d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
I got 99 problems and they’re all concert tickets I can’t afford.
779d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Yolo: You obviously live online.
782d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
I want a male version of Playboy Mansion. Sexy boys walking around half naked... THAT'S MY DREAM.
785d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
When I’m at home on a school day I look at the clock and think, “Haaaa! Those bitches are in math class!”
785d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.
786d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
I wonder if I'm single because I didn't forward all those chain messages when I was twelve..
786d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Heat makes things expand, therefore I'm not fat, I'm hot
786d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Compliments make me uncomfortable. Why? Because I feel like I'm being lied to.
788d               
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44
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Oh Mickey, you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind. Hey Mickey. Hey Hey Mickey!.. Admit it, you didn't read that, you sang it.
791d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
I hate that feeling when I feel like after everything I've done, I'm still not good enough.
791d               
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25
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Today is the youngest you’re ever going to be, but today is also the oldest you have ever been.
792d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
The Wanted: "You'll find us chasing the sun." Harry: "You'll find me chasing your mum."
792d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
When a girl falls asleep texting you, it doesn't mean you bore her. It just means she didn't want to end the conversation.
792d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
You only have one dick, so you only need one girl.
793d               
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44
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
That awkward moment when your "friends" don't invite you to something.
793d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
The best friendships are those that just happen naturally.
795d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
A skinny guy with a 6-pack is like a fat chick with tits. It doesn't count
795d               
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32
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Ed Sheeran is proud and grateful for the USA success but doesn't want to get blind by it. Why can't 1D be more like him?
795d               
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74
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
I once had a best friend that's now a stranger
796d               
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50
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
All it takes is 1 song to bring 1000 memories.
796d               
2
18
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
If you make a girl laugh, she likes you, but if you make her cry, she loves you.
797d               
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33
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
The most touching line said by a bestfriend: "When I die, don't come near my body. It is because my hand won't be able to wipe your tears."
801d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
All these hot singles in my area want to meet me!! Probably because of all the free iPads I've won.
807d               
4
30
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
What's difference between your jokes and your dick? Nobody laughs at your jokes.
807d               
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18
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
tmblr.co/ZRUX5wNG3Oka
808d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
YOLO backwards is OLOY, "Only Losers Obey Yolo."
824d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
[C] NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY about 85% why 1D are famous is because off their looks.
825d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
[C] they only care when it comes to spending money, they dont care about fans because doesn't matter if they lose fans they're biggest band
825d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
[C] i hate comparing 1D to other but they leave me no opinion, The other day they tweeted about UK directioners to buying a magazine
825d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
[C] The name "world biggest band" one direction have really belongs to JLS. The amount of things JLS do is just inspiring and amazing
825d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
[c] Like WTF you are blessed with the career & money you have, why not help other? are you going to take that money to the graves with you?
825d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
[C] She cares about fans, She's performing 4 days straight after just having a baby 4 months ago. 1D go to a charity once every year [c]
825d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
I always get asked Why I like Beyonce more than 1D, Well Beyonce does so much stuff she goes to charities, donates, helps other [C]
825d               
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14
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Beyonce didn't win the talent show nor did Justin Bieber. They are bigger stars than 1D. yet 1D act like spoil cunts, they dont CARE anymore
825d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Beyonce and Justin Bieber were in a talent show before they got FAMOUS. Yet they still care about fans and where they come from.
825d               
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14
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
I dont love 1D anymore I like them. 2010/11 was amazing years for directioners and now ever since they're famous they dont care about fans
825d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
He told me that I had the key to his heart, but I found out that she also had a copy.
826d               
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39
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
When Zayn wasn't much famous Perrie didn't want him, and now he's famous she wants him. That isn't playing hard to get, that's gold digging
828d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
You got to understand where I'm coming from. SHE REJECTED ZAYN.
828d               
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25
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Bitch please I'm not a 2 faced cow so fuck you lot I'm not happy over Zerrie, what you gonna do about it? Fuck all so shut up
828d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
over the fact she rejected him and now she want him in her bed you want me to be happy?
828d               
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14
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
People are telling me to be happy for Zayn that he's dating Perrie. When Perrie rejected him all you bitch went crazy
828d               
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lucy @uhlucy
@zaynmalik_penis is a legend in this fandom. End of conversation.
832d in reply to zaynmalik_penis               
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3
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
You unfollowed me because you're afraid of falling in love with me, I know.
833d               
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Favstar.fm 1000★'s @favstar1000favs
@zaynmalik_penis Congrats on your 100★ tweet! favstar.fm/t/180669408899…
837d in reply to zaynmalik_penis               
1
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Just because you can't see the air, doesn't mean you stop breathing. Just because you can't see God doesnt mean you stop believing.
838d               
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Sad Girl @cecily353
@DirectionerMale @zaynmalik_penis aaaah its trending!!! xD pic.twitter.com/sNf6qk6t
839d in reply to barebacklouis               
1
1
maddie. @ummaddie
@zaynmalik_penis THE TREND WAS #1 pic.twitter.com/N2jTjYDE
839d in reply to zaynmalik_penis               
3
2
@CheekySumeen
@zaynmalik_penis WE DID IT ! pic.twitter.com/f7shqi2G
839d in reply to zaynmalik_penis               
1
5
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
"Bros before hoes." "Yeah. But she's not a hoe and if you consider her one then you're definitely not a bro."
840d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Why do some couples make their status "single" every time they fight. I dont put "orphan" when i get into fights with my parents.
841d               
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Favstar.fm 500★'s @Favstar500Favs
@zaynmalik_penis Congrats on your 50★ tweet! favstar.fm/t/196580215185…
851d in reply to zaynmalik_penis               
1
Favstar.fm 500★'s @Favstar500Favs
@zaynmalik_penis Congrats on your 50★ tweet! favstar.fm/t/196884360878…
851d in reply to zaynmalik_penis               
1
Favstar.fm 500★'s @Favstar500Favs
@zaynmalik_penis Congrats on your 50★ tweet! favstar.fm/t/196624055531…
851d in reply to zaynmalik_penis               
1
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
"I won't date a model, because models are perfect and perfect is boring." - Niall Horan.
851d               
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Favstar Bot 2 @favstar_bot2
@zaynmalik_penis Congrats on your 50★ tweet! favstar.fm/t/193602019058…
852d in reply to zaynmalik_penis               
1
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
hey i just met you and this is crazy so shut the fuck up and stop posting these lyrics maybe?
852d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Liam's tweets: horrific spelling and grammar, but understandable. Harry's tweets: perfect spelling and grammar, but we're like WTF?
852d               
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Favstar NSFW @Favstar_NSFW
@zaynmalik_penis Congrats on your 50★ tweet! favstar.fm/t/196176427924…
852d in reply to zaynmalik_penis               
1
Favstar.fm 500★'s @Favstar500Favs
@zaynmalik_penis Congrats on your 50★ tweet! favstar.fm/t/196296880097…
852d in reply to zaynmalik_penis               
1
Favstar.fm 500★'s @Favstar500Favs
@zaynmalik_penis Congrats on your 50★ tweet! favstar.fm/t/196250462654…
852d in reply to zaynmalik_penis               
1
Favstar.fm 500★'s @Favstar500Favs
@zaynmalik_penis Congrats on your 50★ tweet! favstar.fm/t/196176491543…
852d in reply to zaynmalik_penis               
1
Favstar.fm 500★'s @Favstar500Favs
@zaynmalik_penis Congrats on your 50★ tweet! favstar.fm/t/193229549016…
852d in reply to zaynmalik_penis               
1
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Hi, we're One Direction and we're going to ruin your social life, lower your grades and explode your ovaries, but you'll still love us.
852d               
96
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Favstar.fm 500★'s @Favstar500Favs
@zaynmalik_penis Congrats on your 50★ tweet! favstar.fm/t/196294607645…
852d in reply to zaynmalik_penis               
1
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Being a Directioner will always be a part of my teenage memories.
853d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Sometimes, I wonder if Liam just smacks his head on the keyboard and then clicks tweet.
853d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Harry: "I wish I had a girl to cuddle up to at night rather than my pillow." Me: "I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE!"
853d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
"Peace and love make the world go round." - Zayn Malik
853d               
23
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Me and One Direction have this game where I make an account, pretend to be a fan and they completely ignore me... cute relationship.
853d               
57
228
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
"Directioners: "OMG! I SAW 1D LAST NIGHT! IT WAS AWESOME!" Me: "One time I saw Kevin in the park. He flew away tho..."
853d               
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448
Favstar.fm 500★'s @Favstar500Favs
@zaynmalik_penis Congrats on your 50★ tweet! favstar.fm/t/172241736058…
853d in reply to zaynmalik_penis               
1
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Hi I'm Harry Styles, while you're hating me in front of the computer screen, my car is worth more than your house. Kbye.
853d               
65
230
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
''What is for you guys the best part of the job?'' Zayn: ''We've made 4 best friends.'' Niall: "And this.. *points at the fans*
853d               
54
183
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Torn is like the national anthem of Directioners
853d               
77
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Over 80% of teenagers have sex before they're 16. Meanwhile, I'm sitting here fangirling over 5 homosexuals that don't know I exist.
853d               
73
341
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Niall is just like Barbie. He has blonde hair, blue eyes, and no matter how much he eats, he's still fit/skinny
853d               
47
190
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Rebecca Black fancies all of 1D..hmm let's see. Hecca? Rebiall? Rayn? Louecca? Riam?... Nope you don't fit. Goodbye.
853d               
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Nisa @ReBelleQueen
@zaynmalik_penis is a fucking legend. You other basic bitches stfu.
858d in reply to zaynmalik_penis               
2
3
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
"Sometimes even though you're having a good time; you cant help but stop and think about how much you miss the old times." - Drake
859d               
9
26
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
"To all the girls who insult Niall and then come to see Louis, Harry, Liam and me, I'm not gonna call you a directioner." - Zayn Malik
860d               
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544
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Yo mama’s so stupid she asked Liam for help with spelling.
860d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Hey you, guess who Zayn thinks is beautiful? Read the 5th word again.
861d               
84
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
"1D's new song Zayn: Zap city bitch, zap zap city bitch, mirror mirror mirror on my broken tables bitch. Harry: Got yo grandma on my dick."
863d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
If I drink alcohol I am alcoholic, If I drink fanta, am I fantastic?
865d               
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
If you're having a bad hair day, try not to complain...there's a child out there with cancer who would kill just to have hair.
865d               
15
122
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Carrying a fork in your pocket just in case someone has cake.
867d               
16
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Suicide isn’t cowardly. I’ll tell you what’s cowardly: treating people so badly they want to end their lives.
868d               
28
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Bitch please, if dicks could fly, your mouth would be an airport.
871d               
13
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Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Scrolling down your timeline thinking: "Don't care", "Whore", "You're life sucks, right?", "Song lyrics, cool", "Inside joke", "Needs help"
872d               
13
92
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Someday everything will make sense. So, for now laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears & remember everything happens for a reason..
873d               
8
36
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Calling me fat. Could lead to eating disorders. Calling me ugly. Could lead to cutting. Wishing I was dead. Could tempt fate.
873d               
18
100
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Dressing up as a Sausage and chasing Vegetarians ;)
875d               
11
34
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
"Cuz I’m still hood, Hollywood couldn’t change me" One Direction please take notes from Nicki Minaj
875d               
12
53
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Guys say wearing a condom is uncomfortable… Well I’ve heard that giving birth is pretty damn uncomfortable too, so deal with it
876d               
17
100
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Does February march? No, but April May.
877d               
28
87
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Church: "Follow Jesus" Me: "Does he follow back?" Church: "..." Me: "..." Church: "..." Me: "Follow 4 Follow?"
878d               
35
174
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Don't do war, history books get thicker.
883d               
13
48
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
I believe that unicorns were the first to call eachother dickheads.
885d               
14
56
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
I want to make a Facebook account and name it Nobody so that when I like some post, it would say Nobody Likes This.
885d               
8
23
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
If your boyfriend/girlfriend has no texts in their phone's history, you're totally being cheated on.
886d               
7
14
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
People that say "Suck my dick!" 1% Males. 99% Females.
887d               
14
104
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
A fat man and a deaf man walk into a bar. Weight, what?
887d               
13
55
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
“British: One DYE-rection. Americans: One DER-ection. Aussies: One Da-rection. Chinese: Wan Da-RE-shun." Irish: Wonder-Action.
887d               
182
586
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
That awkward moment when جیم باب جو friends you on Facebook.
887d               
6
29
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
If I had a dick I'd be applauded and called a real man. But I'm a female - so the world calls me a Bitch.
888d               
6
7
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
It's funny how people say they miss you, but don't even make an effort to see you.
889d               
4
16
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Welcome to our society. You will be judged on what you wear, your taste in music, what you look like, and how you act. Enjoy your stay.
889d               
13
79
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
We used to talk for hours. I miss that. Now, we can't even hold a conversation for five minutes. I miss you.
891d               
9
46
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
I'm not a bitch. I just learned how to stand up for myself & not take shit from people.
892d               
13
69
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
"you're not gonna tell me who i am, im gonna tell you who i am, if you like it lets roll if you dont..... deuces" - Nicki Minaj
892d               
6
34
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
"So how far have you gone with a guy?" Well... there was this one time... we made eye contact. It was awesome.
892d               
7
34
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
"My boyfriend's dad was angry that I took his son's virginity. I said "Sorry, it won't happen again." LMAO
892d               
31
100
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
During a test, when the teacher passes by, you cover your answers with your hand so that the teacher cant see how stupid you are.
892d               
27
151
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Attractive boy: hi i'm famous. Attractive boy: hi i'm gay. Attractive boy: hi i'm a douchebag. Attractive boy: hi i'm twice your age.
893d               
64
361
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Hey I just met you and this is crazy...So here's my username, so tweet me maybe?
893d               
9
59
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
B.I.B.L.E = B: Basic I: Instructions B: Before L: Leaving E: Earth Retweet if you love God! Remember... He saw you read this
895d               
33
291
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Its normal for Liam to give Zayn a BJ whiles a radio interview. twitpic.com/8x26uw
896d               
91
199
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Men who say women belong in the kitchen obviously don't know what to do with them in the bedroom.
897d               
11
56
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Doctors handwriting: ﹏﹏ ﹏﹏ ﹏﹏. What I see: ∮₪₮₩£. What the nurse sees: paracetamol
897d               
15
47
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
From May 13th i started talking to the most amazing person on twitter, she change everything i love her so much @Loopy_Louis
897d               
1
1
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
I was trying to remember who Rihanna's ex was, then it hit me.
897d               
4
28
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Put your boobs back in your shirt, smile instead of doing that duck face and put your middle finger down. Have some self-respect.
898d               
11
68
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Dear guys, a girl is like a doll. You can dress her, undress her, play her & use her... but remember, a REAL MAN doesn't play with dolls.
902d               
16
68
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Dear Bella, Does the fact that all of the Cullens know when you're on your period bother you? Sincerely, that's creepy.
906d               
14
77
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Dear sexist guys, Did you know, that until the 7th week of pregnancy, you were a girl? Sincerely, thought you should know.
906d               
16
115
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Dear cast of The Simpsons, Why is it that the asian characters are white and the white characters are yellow? Sincerely, confused.
906d               
7
22
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Dear opposite sex, Y U NO LIKE ME?! Sincerely, desperate.
906d               
4
25
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Dear Beyonce, Thanks for showing everyone it is still possible to date, get married, THEN have babies. Sincerely, all the single ladies.
906d               
9
55
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
I'd never ask One Direction to change
If perfect's what you're searching for then just stay the same
907d               
11
51
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Liam's lips, Liam's lips, I could kiss them all day if he let me
Niall's laugh, Niall's laugh, he hates but I think it's so sexy
907d               
17
66
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
And when Niall's smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while
Cause boy you're amazing, just the way you are. Yeah
907d               
12
47
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
When I see Louis's face, there's not a thing that I would change
Cause he is amazing, just the way he is
907d               
13
44
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
They both so beautiful, and I tell them every day
907d               
6
15
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Oh, Zayn eyes, Zayn eyes, make the stars look like they're not shining, Harry hair, Harry hair, falls perfectly without him trying
907d               
19
97
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Millionaires: if you don't have trampoline floors, & a giant slide that goes from your bed to a pool, give me your money, you're wasting it.
910d               
8
60
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
You're insecure, Harry's a whore. You won't turn his head unless you're over forty-fou-o-or.
919d               
106
356
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
*Meeting Harry* Me: Can I hug you? Harry: Yes. Security: No! Me: HE IS MY HUSBAND! Security: What? Harry: What? Me: What?
919d               
80
330
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Girl: I HATE ONE DIRECTION! * 30 minutes later* Police Officer: So.. she just fell down the stairs 3 times? Me: Yes officer
919d               
50
215
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
One Direction. When they smile, we smile. When they're sad, we're sad. When they're happy. We're the happiest. When they're topless. We die.
919d               
58
240
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Calling me a fake Directioner, won't make you a real one. Saying I won't be there for 1D till the end, won't make you stay forever.
919d               
18
76
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
I remember when there were Normal Directioners and Pervy Directioners. Now, since 1D have got sexier, every Directioner is a Perv :D
936d               
26
113
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
*Fan meeting One Direction* ''omg, hii '' *Directioner meeting One Direction* 'AKLJSAKDNKJDFHKNVFKJV CAN I TOUCH YOUR ASS?'' :D
936d               
33
138
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
One Direction don't know I exist or know my name. Yet, it feels like I've known them my whole life. ♥
936d               
15
86
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
When someone says "you'll never meet One Direction" I try and hold my head high, but I die a little inside, because it's probably true.
936d               
26
136
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
You think being a Directioner is easy? No. Imagine constantly being judged, blamed, and criticized for supporting your idols.
941d               
33
211
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Saying "I hate One Direction" is pretty much saying "Hi there, can you throw a grenade to my face?"
941d               
14
79
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Remember when One Direction was ugly? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA me neither.
941d               
12
124
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Haters say 1D win awards because of an established fanbase, not talent. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but you need talent to have fans.
941d               
32
216
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
If i had a penny for every time i saw a sexy picture of Louis's bum, i could buy myself a plane ticket to wherever he is to smack it.
944d               
27
142
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Why do One Direction wear clothes? It's annoying.
944d               
28
134
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
#imagine *you're standing in front of the mirror, then Harry comes and hugs you from behind* Harry: you're beautiful. ♥
944d               
21
43
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Asking a Directioner what their favourite 1D song is, is like asking Rebecca Black what seat should she take. It's really hard to decide.
944d               
39
219
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Me: hi, would you sign this please? Zayn: Sure wait. what is this? Me: A marriage certificate. Zayn: But.. I What? Me: Too late, hubby.
945d               
47
189
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
I was going to put my password as "Zayn Malik's Penis" but apparently it was too long.
945d               
20
69
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Us Directioners dont need a trend to prove our love for One Direction.. so bitch please shut up and go sit in the corner of haters
945d               
10
39
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
One Direction should accidentally tweet a picture of their dick.
945d               
24
96
Zayn Malik @zaynmalik_penis
Directioners' twitter locations in 2010: "In One Direction's heart." Directioners' twitter location in 2011: "In One Direction's pants."
945d               
16
83
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