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Arrogant TwatToronto, Canada, eh!2010-09-16
@Arrogant_Twat1,311 days
Neurosurgeon, Pilot, Rocket Scientist, Single Daddy. Kik/Instagram: Arrogant_Twat My Commandment: Don't be a dick.
FollowersFollowingTweetsListsFavorites
9,6755,95024,25044434,767
We found 198 favorite tweets.
Blonde Calamity @blondecalamity
Woohoo! Day drinking with @Arrogant_Twat in 2.0 hours!! DM any Secret Admirer msgs you want me to read him. (Nothing gross, I’ll be eating).
14h in reply to Arrogant_Twat               
7
1
Alyssa_Jolie @Alyssa_Jolie
....what's to regret when you follow your heart
1d               
7
7
Sarah Eh! @pro_insanity
Last class of the semester done. Exam in 6 days. Procrastination begins ...... now!
1d               
3
pocahontas @krissyerased
You're not even worth a fake orgasm.
1d               
54
18
Mama Coug @Vancougarmama
The best part about growing older is you care more about quality over quantity when it comes to friendships.
1d               
15
6
Carbosly @Carbosly
My 5 year-old son hit his head at school. I asked him if he cried.

"No", he said proudly. "But some water did fall out of my eyes."
1d               
81
18
Angel Bunny @canadasnobaby
as soon as it's dark ..hot tub and vodka ...yumm pic.twitter.com/F3kIjkgWa1
1d               
66
3
Mama Coug @Vancougarmama
When you're a COUG, you must keep fit or you'll be carrying your boobs in your back pack! #FitFam ;p pic.twitter.com/dgwitTY88x
1d               
8
1
Steven Hall @HallpassCanada
Stop ordering diet coke fat people, you're not fooling anyone.
1d               
102
37
Alyssa_Jolie @Alyssa_Jolie
Thing is, you've been single for so long, you don't even know how to be with anyone besides yourself
1d               
6
1
REDJAMMIES!! @RedJammieGirl
My paint job sucks worse than any half ass blow job I could give.
1d               
2
Living Dread Girl @em2the_gee
Whatever, people who didn't get to see their boss stand on his head and do an upside down split today. What. The fuck. Ever.
1d               
12
1
Hungover Lawyer @HungoverLawyer
I'm fucking disgusted by people who don't organize the cash in their wallets.
1d               
65
30
Angel Bunny @canadasnobaby
we got a thing goin on
1d               
17
2
Andrea B @Andrea__B__
4 days off starts right

now.
1d               
8
2
Chris McC @stranded_in_to
With how many tweets I've aborted, the Christian right hates me
1d               
2
1
Rainey Knight @BlakWidowBarbee
This triple vodka 7 tastes like I'll be making long distance booty calls later.
1d               
9
2
Mama Coug @Vancougarmama
"We come from a time where if something was broken, we fixed it and not throw it away." ❤️ pic.twitter.com/mrlvBUzEbM
1d               
5
The Eh Factor @AngelaEhh
When people call me smart, I'm just thankful they're not around to see me turn the wrong burner on the stove every single time.
1d               
315
179
Hungover Lawyer @HungoverLawyer
Sometimes I need to remind myself when models approach me: "They're just as intimidated by your good looks as you are of theirs... be cool."
1d               
41
19
Angel Bunny @canadasnobaby
my offices are now officially closed so I can now be mostly naked until Monday ...well at least not until I get in the car ...but still ..
1d               
24
2
Meaghan @MeaghanTO
Yes creepy guy on the street car. I'm lip syncing. I'm also wearing a mini skirt so just look at my legs like a normal person okay?
1d               
25
10
Mama Coug @Vancougarmama
First world problems! 👉👉👉👉 “@ReIateThings: THE WORST 😩 pic.twitter.com/HqxcldCXKu
1d in reply to ReIateThings               
4
4
king of bîrds @bingkird
I absolutely love running.. If I ever have to run from the cops they're fucked.
1d               
8
2
Meaghan @MeaghanTO
I may have a four day weekend but never fear! I'm spending it with family! The people who made me the woman I am. And for that they will pay
1d               
15
1
Carbosly @Carbosly
You're not fooling anyone, fake blue verified arrow in the background.
1d in reply to Carbosly               
20
9
elle @brookeblond
Why does EVERYONE go grocery shopping a day before the long weekend? The store IS OPEN ON SATURDAY. Just jn case you didn't know
1d               
1
Heidi @heidiknits
I guess I'll start tracking tomorrow, @chimairamark. Hahaha pic.twitter.com/xXdQ2PLkJj
1d               
4
Angel Bunny @canadasnobaby
I've never once asked to see what anyone here looks like ..because quite frankly ..it's doesn't matter ..and I have a delicious imagination
1d               
28
5
Alisha @lishybee
1 hour left and then the long weekend begins!!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
1d               
2
LTB @_Tempo11
I wish they would teach actors at acting school how to act better when they're brushing their teeth
1d               
34
10
Angel Bunny @canadasnobaby
I'm pretty sure that I don't have to tell you all the sexy and naughty things we can do ...you already know
1d               
45
11
Victoria Sofia @Ideal_Victoria
It's pretty bullshit that my therapist won't give me copies of his notes...

Or marry me and let us start a family together.
1d               
49
15
Heidi @heidiknits
You have a sweet basket collection hanging in your kitchen... for a single guy.
1d               
3
LTB @_Tempo11
A fist full of hair and a handful of ass...

My minds wandering ok?
1d               
53
25
DeeLiciousRockin' @TDeeRock
Smokers at work make me miserable.
1d               
10
1
Heidi @heidiknits
Quite proud of myself for keeping it together even though the Urgent Care physician kept talking about "significant bulging" of my eardrum.
1d               
4
elle @brookeblond
Text
Me
Now
2d               
2
1
Miss Fuckalicious @PyrBliss
Washed down two Tylenol with a glass of champagne because water is for peasants and being sober gives me a headache.
2d               
124
33
My 2nd Fav Redhead @MyInnerRedhead
This time of year I'm usually itching to run. This year I'm not. Maybe later...
2d               
13
3
DJ the Sweetheart @BamDebikins
You're fucking psycho.
Move in with me and put a baby in me.

-women
2d               
89
44
CocoB. @BeCoco77
When I think about you my whole body throbs, but especially in between my legs. I need you there.
2d               
21
7
Miss M @bendymommy
Trying to think of a polite way to say to the executives in this meeting that they're a bunch of fucking assholes.
2d               
189
68
Meaghan @MeaghanTO
Sorry guy at the gym who's name I don't know but head nod with.

You shaved your beard so you're dead to me now.
2d               
12
3
Mack @SweetNSaucy10
WCW- my tits
2d               
50
20
Hungover Lawyer @HungoverLawyer
If people winked in real life as much as they wink in text, this world would be a very creepy place.
2d               
128
81
Rick-Snow @TexasCanadian82
We fed the dog. pic.twitter.com/PRFLJbWM5N
2d               
20
4
Hungover Lawyer @HungoverLawyer
If I am twenty minutes early to work, I almost always take a two hour lunch to reward myself.
2d               
30
17
Marcia Bee @marcia_bee
90 minute phone interview yesterday.

Face to face interview today.

Wish me luck!

Here I come, potential employer!
2d               
131
32
Butterfly Kisses @JenniferVaz36
I just adore perverted minds..
2d               
96
42
Steven Hall @HallpassCanada
DAMN!! You can't do anything around here without getting in trouble ****Puts flamethrower back in car****
2d               
73
23
Steven Hall @HallpassCanada
If you not talking to me is a form of punishment, then yeah....I guess I am into S& M.
2d               
35
11
Carbosly @Carbosly
My brain hurts.
Means it's getting stronger, right?
2d               
50
15
Mommy Fab @Mommy_Fab
Men are so creepy. They want to DM all day and send dick pics. I don't even know them. So annoying.

*posts boobie pics and waits for stars.
2d               
61
17
Allison Sullivan @allisulli
I know why the caged bird dies laughing
2d               
46
15
Butterfly Kisses @JenniferVaz36
A pounding so good and hard, it rocks the soul to its core..
2d               
69
21
Alyssa_Jolie @Alyssa_Jolie
If you are my future, I see no need in contacting my past
2d               
11
3
The • Steve @DarthCoffeeus
Wtf dude?!? pic.twitter.com/wV3H2yDuyJ
2d               
23
13
Alyssa_Jolie @Alyssa_Jolie
Only a psychotic lil bug would say they dated someone they

1. Never met
2. Never spoke to
3. Never been in the same country as
2d               
7
2
Alyssa_Jolie @Alyssa_Jolie
Keep my name on your timeline
Keep my @ in your mentions
Keep my face in your thoughts

And just know, you will always come second to me.
2d               
10
1
Victoria Sofia @Ideal_Victoria
You look like you get a good night sleep, every night.

Poor thing.
2d               
63
25
That Mothafucka @Sal0630
*Locks door*

*checks under bed*

*checks closet*

*closes blinds*

*takes off clothes*

*rubs gluten all over body*
2d               
73
35
YummyMummyAllie @0223allie
I have 590 emails I need to file in case you're wondering if I procrastinate....
2d               
15
3
Meaghan @MeaghanTO
Hey! Unfollowers! Come back! I can do better!

Actually I can't. This is it. You were right to leave. Take me with you?
2d               
22
7
NostRhymeALot @Nostradamnisuck
Patrick Roy is a shoe in for Coach of the Year. Taught those lads how to win. Helluva job. Fiery goalie got everyone buying in..
2d               
1
Angel Bunny @canadasnobaby
It's interesting that a percentage of people feel threatened when you know too much..and in that case ...knowledge is power ..use it wisely
2d               
27
6
Ron Mexico @Coastiefish
Questionable decisions are just like regular decisions, but more fun.
2d               
29
10
Untastic Mr. Fitz @UnFitz
In the wake of the USAirways twitter debacle, all ladies must now refer to masturbation as "airplane mode."
2d               
83
40
Thigh High @clindsaysway
Like the snow, I come in flurries.
2d               
26
5
Thigh High @clindsaysway
Doesn't life seem like a constant ticking off of to-do lists? Ticking like a bomb...
2d               
14
3
Untastic Mr. Fitz @UnFitz
I'm not nearly as impressed with you as you'd like me to be.

Oops. Did I say that out loud?
2d               
48
10
Carrie @carrietini
Right about now I'm gonna ravage my liquor cabinet.
3d               
7
1
Lilith (: @Ohgoddessitsme
Stormy weather makes me want to have sex.
3d               
63
21
Rob Rubin @ForeverHairy
I look and feel so terrible, homeless people are giving ME change.
3d               
25
11
Heidi @heidiknits
That awkward moment when you realize your closest girl friend is basically the female version of your husband...
3d               
8
4
Carrie @carrietini
The only cure for feelings is a partial lobotomy.
3d               
3
The Planet @ShipInTheKnight
Solar-powered? Aren't we all?
3d               
32
17
sara @SomthinBoutSara
Married ladies: wanna know if your husband is having an online affair? Spike his beer with Viagra and see how often he picks up his phone
3d               
128
54
Carrie @carrietini
"Hey radio, thanks for playing that one song that rips my heart to shreds."

--said no person ever
3d               
6
1
Angel Bunny @canadasnobaby
you're a man ..with a brain and a job ..a heart of compassion and a love of life ..what else is there ..because I've no clue ..it's perfect
3d               
18
1
Angel Bunny @canadasnobaby
@Arrogant_Twat blonde ..every damn time ...js
3d in reply to Arrogant_Twat               
2
The_martinigirl @The_MartiniGirl
I can't believe I haven't used my new shoes or purse on anyone....yet.
3d               
142
55
Miss Wont @MissWont
Emptiness happens when you get rid of the old but don't replace it with something new.
3d               
51
22
9⃣1⃣1⃣chatter @911chatter
@Arrogant_Twat @mydmac Along the same lines ... this crap drives me batty too. pic.twitter.com/eNphgS66Ce
3d in reply to Arrogant_Twat               
2
1
Thigh High @clindsaysway
Beauty of subtweets is how they can apply to so many--universally and several exes at once.
3d               
33
11
My 2nd Fav Redhead @MyInnerRedhead
If you have Cadbury creme egg breath then I'll be in your personal space today. Just a heads up...
3d               
36
9
Blonde Calamity @blondecalamity
There's no sane reason for being up this early. None.
3d               
26
3
AngieDavisheartspeen @Adar79Angie
Had a pretty busy day drawing myself into all your Instagram pictures.
4d               
62
23
LTB @_Tempo11
Let's just picture "a bag of dicks" for a second. Really. A writhing "bag of dicks".
Yes. Writhing.
4d               
49
21
elle @brookeblond
The thing is..

I don't have regrets about us..

We just weren't meant to be together.
4d               
1
elle @brookeblond
The thing is..

I've moved on. Too late. Sorry.
4d               
4
Salamingia @salamingia
Sorry guys. My dog ate my best tweets.
4d               
104
41
Victoria Sofia @Ideal_Victoria
I don't understand why I'm still single... Personally, I think I'm a catch.

*arranges porcelain dolls on bed from tallest to shortest*
4d               
147
67
Jay @theshamingofjay
You'd think religious chicks would be easier to get in bed based on the amount of bullshit they will believe
4d               
215
101
Blonde Calamity @blondecalamity
Relationship strategy: hoping my acceptance of my many, MANY faults make me "charming".
4d               
22
3
Tim @Playing_Dad
I send links to my tweets to the FBI all the time but they only star the link tweet, never star or RT the actual threatening tweet
4d               
16
5
dawn @Dawn_M_
Men. Can't live with them, can't cut their dicks off, shove it down their treacherous throats and push them in front of a fast moving train.
4d               
262
138
Sailor Jerry @blasphe_me
sorry that I am 3 drastically different people
4d               
89
47
Blacklisted @DrFapFap
There is only 3 reasons why it should take you 4 tries to park your car:

1. You're old as shit
2. You're Asian as shit
3. You're 12
4d               
21
12
Carrie @carrietini
And for a split second, I forgot not to trust you.
4d               
9
4
Tim @Playing_Dad
*does "you can't see me" hand gesture to boss every time he walks by*
4d               
48
18
Tim @Playing_Dad
He died doing the two things he loved: sleeping and showering
4d               
30
6
My 2nd Fav Redhead @MyInnerRedhead
Acquaintance ~ You're working Easter weekend? Why?

Me ~ because I don't make money on days I don't work. Holidays mean very little now.
5d               
14
1
Nerf Herder @TrueTorontoGirl
More like nopes and dreams.
5d               
244
137
Nerf Herder @TrueTorontoGirl
I may cheap out on a few things but booze and toilet paper aren't either.
5d               
78
21
Tim @Playing_Dad
A "dog eat dog world" would be the most horrifying thing ever
5d               
37
10
bubble girl @JessObsess
I Love You to I Hate You in approximately 15 texts.
5d               
90
36
Elle @Ellequence
I don't need your approval, I've been self-approved.
5d               
61
17
Jada @74Jalo
Belief in yourself extinguishes fear.
5d               
7
3
Tim @Playing_Dad
No, you're walking around your house humming the theme from "Jessie"
5d               
12
2
Maryann @lushbaby
I listen to hipster music, but refuse to be labeled a hipster.
5d               
1
YummyMummyAllie @0223allie
A little b&w.... pic.twitter.com/Z4Vmzb6OZ6
5d               
82
LTB @_Tempo11
I'm sorry I can't stop staring at your lips. It's just that I know what they're capable of.
5d               
74
48
Blonde Calamity @blondecalamity
Waiting patiently for one of you to offer me a bear hug, of the back-cracking variety.... *ahem*

STILL WAITING!!!! pic.twitter.com/8cEPa9TWgl
5d               
25
Eye Twitch @awomanwithwants
I let my battery get below 20% twice in 3 days, so yeah, I'd say I'm keeping it real.
5d               
12
1
elle @brookeblond
A lover is a friend you desire that desires you..
5d               
8
2
Tim @Playing_Dad
Keeping it classy as always, Twitter pic.twitter.com/KKqk2Hbce4
5d               
13
1
Sarcastic Mommy @sarcasticmommy4
A parenting website just followed me.

Hope they enjoy tweets from an alcoholic mom that talks shit about her kids.
5d               
84
32
Tim @Playing_Dad
Every Sunday is Palm Sunday for most of the guys on here
5d               
58
18
elle @brookeblond
The ultimate connection is that which you feel in your mind....
5d               
5
3
elle @brookeblond
The thing is...

I won't share you.
6d               
3
elle @brookeblond
Don't rush it...

It's always better when you take your time...
6d               
8
3
Just Some Girl @Just_some_girl2
Someone came into my house and stole my "I heart nerds" undies if you're wondering where all the crazy went. I have it. All the crazy.
6d               
10
1
Jimmy @jus4golf
I'm just a boy
Standing in front of a washing machine
Wondering how my socks turned pink.
6d               
153
79
Allison Sullivan @allisulli
Men who don't use emojis clearly have intimacy issues
7d               
51
24
J B @monks_19
Beer, all of the beer today.
7d               
41
11
Rockin' The Minivan! @irolands
@Arrogant_Twat

Please, if you get pulled over on the way home:

SWITCH SEATS WITH HIM!!!!

#CopsLoveJokes
7d in reply to Arrogant_Twat               
1
Amy @amyistrouble
There are a lot of valley girl types on here. At least I assume so by the accent I read their tweets in.

Also whores.
7d               
14
3
Blonde Calamity @blondecalamity
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA to the woman in line behind me, who is trying to guilt me into giving her the last cookie, which I just bought!
7d               
23
4
Blonde Calamity @blondecalamity
Dating Profile - example 1:

Blonde Calamity; because when she gets angry at you, she won’t key your car.

She just gets VERY condescending.
7d               
32
7
PrincessPK @56Dragonfly74
70 days until @Toronto_TweetUp .
That's all I'm gonna say.
#TheCountdownIsOn
7d               
5
3
selfproclaimedmuse @CanadianCheri
Day 2 of no Internet. If you have any extra wifi, please send it my way.
7d               
6
NostRhymeALot @Nostradamnisuck
Tweet however, and whatever I fucking want. Offends you?
Suck my shit stained taint, you thin skinned pussyfied piece of shit.
Nice chat.
7d               
17
3
Moe @_Mo_lee_
Police: Get out of UR vehicle!!
Me:Umm, it's opposite day!
P:Ur under arrest
M:So I can't go home?
P:No
M:Thx
M:*Starts to drive off..*
7d               
166
101
Vagisil Twist Tattoo @southbaysue
Wombs that morph into spare livers in women who are done with childbirth.
8d               
7
2
Sarah Eh! @pro_insanity
I'm not a fighter or a lover, is there a third option?
8d               
1
fibberfox @fibberfox
Bueller?
8d               
4
SmugDingus @SmugDingus
If I wore a g-string, a yeast infection would be the least of society's concerns.
8d               
3
1
Sarah Eh! @pro_insanity
are you the carrot or the stick?
8d               
4
3
Sarah Eh! @pro_insanity
Stop ruining my favorite foods by making them sexual terms! I LOVE food. it loves me back.
8d               
1
Ice Princess @Shadysk8tr
Sending you light and love
8d               
13
2
Twisted Mettle @Twisted_Mettle
As a descriptive turn of phrase, titty fucking makes a whole lot of sense, but I still feel that melon balling is the obvious choice here.
8d               
13
7
NotAPrettyGirl @notprettybitch
It's taken me two years to learn to stop looking for sense outside myself. I had it all along. Which makes no sense. I know.
8d               
6
1
Carrie @TheCareBare
Ray Ramone probably gives a great hummer.
8d               
13
3
Bob Heller @Bob_Heller
"This is what it sounds like when Prince cries: 'WAAAA! WAAAA! I'M A TINY MAN AND NO LONGER CULTURALLY RELEVANT! WAAAAAA!'"

--An irate dove
8d               
192
84
Kevin is that bag @Douchekevin
Being a "born again' Christian basically means you just fucked it up the first time.
8d               
184
92
dawn @Dawn_M_
He starred 4 of my tweets. Should I DM him now or play it cool?
8d               
505
221
Blonde Calamity @blondecalamity
So... long story short, "organic" cookies still make you fat.

I'll explain why, in 5 hours, when I get home from the gym.
8d               
35
14
Blonde Calamity @blondecalamity
<--- pro naps and chocolate chip cookies.
8d               
28
4
Nick @NickC46
We're not descended from apes - we share a common ancestor.

I believe he's called Clive.
8d               
8
1
Mr. Fuzzball @EvilPandaX
My Balls

(I hope this get's a Trophy so I can thank them for "cupping My Balls")
8d               
46
19
Vodka n Tots @Vodkantots
One of the coolest things about depression is that any time can be nap time.
8d               
283
163
Trey @treydayway
Any athlete that compares himself to a slave should be whipped and sold to the KKK.
8d               
70
29
Allison Sullivan @allisulli
Women rule twitter pic.twitter.com/F8ZXm55HgZ
8d               
50
11
OutOfLeftField @OutOfLeftField_
I've lost my phone!
My world is ending!
Oh, there it is.
8d               
40
13
Blonde Calamity @blondecalamity
I love r&b, rap and hip-hop, but it’s rock that’s been the cause of me dancing on table tops!
8d               
36
8
Blonde Calamity @blondecalamity
I bought coconut hair conditioner, and now everything I’ve accomplished in life pales in comparison.
8d               
39
7
Amanda @WineTalksNow
When I say I'm to tired to go out I actually just want to stay home and masturbate.
9d               
6
Angel Bunny @canadasnobaby
Oh sorry ..I was busy posting a naked on mobli
9d               
22
3
Angel Bunny @canadasnobaby
Hi vodka ..hot tub and naked selfies in the dark ..Canadian spring ..yumm
9d               
36
6
Thigh High @clindsaysway
You've made your bed, now can I lie in it?
9d               
35
17
J B @monks_19
Not everyone wants to be your "just for fun".
9d               
110
42
Kevin is that bag @Douchekevin
Girlfriend demanded I quit smoking- so I agreed to when she stops bitching about stupid things.

She just bought me a new ashtray instead.
9d               
134
60
Terry F @daemonic3
Her: Where to for dinner?

Me: How about Indian?

Her: Do we need reservations?

Me: No, I mean the other kind.
9d               
399
207
Thigh High @clindsaysway
Tell the truth, but in the gentlest way possible.
9d               
69
33
Angel Bunny @canadasnobaby
most things are more of a want than a need..such as..I don't need you but I sure as hell want you ..like grey goose and hot sultry weather 😜
9d               
24
9
Angel Bunny @canadasnobaby
people using sexual innuendos with pics or vids of kids to get your point across ...please don't ....I hate using the block button
9d               
14
1
Tequila Sunshine @tequilasaltlife
Does your attempt at belittling me, make you feel like a man?

Bc it makes you look like an ass
9d               
83
36
Angel Bunny @canadasnobaby
sending a text to your lover of you mostly naked is not a bad thing ..naughty maybe ..but in this case bad is good ..and naughty is nice
9d               
23
3
Angel Bunny @canadasnobaby
here's a thing..just because it's in fashion doesn't mean it's your style..and also..maybe wear clothes that fit you..not the fantasy you..😳
9d               
21
2
Angel Bunny @canadasnobaby
ya..because we all wear full on makeup..reams of jewelry..perfect hair and positional lighting for the morning spontaneous tumblr fuck shots
9d               
16
2
Angel Bunny @canadasnobaby
my coffee tastes like you ..simply délicieux
9d               
19
2
Token Geezer @Token_Geezer
The most haunted houses are the ones where the love has died
9d               
235
100
LipsAhoy @lipsaahoy
pretty girls can't help being pretty, just like psycho girls can't help being psycho.
9d               
47
30
elle @brookeblond
Good morning Canada... Hey.. NO SNOW! Woohoo!

*doing a happy dance now*
9d               
2
Meaghan @MeaghanTO
Today I am wearing a bra AND a skirt at work. The nice weather is seriously fucking with my head.
9d               
8
Lovely Potatoes @robin_991
The nauseating sensation of heartbreak and disappointment can be masked with pizza in the morning.

pretty sure this tip just went pro
9d               
15
3
Angel Bunny @canadasnobaby
I was going to tweet about juicy pink parts and ..other stuff ..but I got distracted by my own ...distraction ...
9d               
23
Angel Bunny @canadasnobaby
I don't believe that there's a recipe for love or romance ..unless it's how to make a sandwich..or a chocolate martini ..or 5 ..😜
10d               
12
3
Thigh High @clindsaysway
Been carrying this torch for you so long it's pure torcher.
10d               
25
10
dawn @Dawn_M_
Just treat me like I'm a disney princess and then when we go to bed smack me around a bit.
10d               
358
196
Angel Bunny @canadasnobaby
I may or may not spend too much time wearing lingerie ..alone or under my clothes ...but it's just too damn sexy not too ..just curious tho
10d               
32
3
dawn @Dawn_M_
I do this clever trick where you smile at me & I follow you home & make a stew from your girlfriends cat.
10d               
213
100
errrors @errrors
It's pathetic how people tweet the dumbest questions to celebrities&hope they'll get an answer.Am I right @louisck @rickygervais @chrisrock?
10d               
119
22
Blonde Calamity @blondecalamity
There is no greater feeling on earth, than the happiness that comes from the news of a loved one being healthy, again.
10d               
59
17
Blonde Calamity @blondecalamity
When life isn't working out, sometimes it helps to change perspective.

Other times, it helps to crazy-dance to Beyonce in your underwear!
10d               
29
5
Angel Bunny @canadasnobaby
when you least expect it ..no matter the time ..distance ..or circumstance ..always makes my heart pound a little faster..
10d               
22
7
Julie McCoy @_MrsBlueBird_
I swear I've been here long enough to have read every tweet ever written. Or at least it feels that way.
10d               
10
3
The Blonde One @MichelleVitagrl
Do you even know how many times she checks her phone to see if there is a message from you, bro?
10d               
89
40
Angel Bunny @canadasnobaby
sorry..really nice cab driver but no I don't come here often..and I don't date..but thanks for the offer to put me up in a condo in Fla..wtf
10d               
15
2
Victoria Sofia @Ideal_Victoria
Contrary to what my exes say, I'm not really the devil.

He and I are just friends and sometimes share crockpot recipes.
10d               
113
51
sly @Sultani_Sails
I get hungry just thinking about working out.
10d               
129
68
Tom the Wicked @TomTheWicked
*checks Twitter*

Boss: Get back to work!

Me: How do you know I'm not working?

B: You're smiling like an idiot!

M: ...

B: ...

M: Touché
10d               
162
88
YummyMummyAllie @0223allie
Thanks last night to my favourite follower @Arrogant_Twat for sharing wings and things* with me.

*_____fill in blank pic.twitter.com/0H3xlhMeZO
10d               
26
2
YummyMummyAllie @0223allie
A little bit of sunshine in the office since there won't be any today... pic.twitter.com/PAdNSEu72n
10d               
81
4
snowjob @canadasandra
Canadians don't just say sorry all the time we also thank you too much as well. You're welcome.
10d               
72
31
snowjob @canadasandra
I watch porn like hungry people watch shows about food.
10d               
64
26
Tink, The Duchess @Tinkerbell_
I like myself least when I take the opinions of nutjobs over my own.
There's enough nutjob going on within without looking elsewhere Xx
10d               
84
19
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