Ohhhhmahgawd having kids really just fucks your back for life
This what we need to be investing our tax money on.
A trash bin for the ocean!
I need to get my shit together asap. I’m falling so behind
im sorry to everyone i've hurt in the process of finding and loving myself. for those who stuck around, thank u. for those who left, thank u
Messaging that lady on Craigslist was the best decision of my life. Happy 1st birthday to my girl!
Finally changed my # dm for it!
I don’t wanna hear none of y’all clowning her for taking back her millionaire athlete baby father, when y’all take back your hundredaire dime bag boy after giving y’all chlamydia.
Khloé Kardashian Has Reportedly Forgiven Tristan Thompson and Blames His "Stupid Groupies" for Cheating
u ever so mf sad u drive the speed limit?
but like.. bunnies don't lay eggs so I'm very confused about the whole Easter egg and bunny thing.
Puppies are way harder than newborns idc what anyone says
Y'all care about the dumbest fucking things like being petty and dramatic on twitter isn't ~cool and people stopped being proud of that shitty behavior in high school. Now you're just fucking childish and annoying. Go to a park and clean up trash or something, fuck
Kids really get mad at you for changing their diaper... like you’re the one that shit their pants
I honestly never pictured myself giving birth with no epidural even tho I hate shots but I fuckin DID THAT
Something would say to me hahaha ❤️💧
Yay gonna be sick af on my bday tomorrow
I don’t regret any of the mistakes in my life because I love where I am today
The United States is not #1 in much.
Not education, not healthcare, not economic equality, none of that.
We're #1 in mass shootings and mass incarceration. It's not even close.
That's where we lead. This is what we're the best at.
Welp I’m crying
So our friends lost their sweet setter Pete today. He and some other dogs surprised a black bear while on a hike. Pete bravely protected the rest of the crew who got to safety. Pete later succumbed to his injuries. He was an older guy and went out a true hero. RIP PETE THE HERO!
Cows are so pure and precious
who the fuck let this happen what went fucking wrong
I cannot watch Netflix without the subtitles.
U weird as fuck if u watch Netflix with subtitles
Becoming a mother is the only decision I never second guessed.
Kylie’s pregnancy video was beautiful. but when jordyn said “when you’re 20 yrs old, you’re figuring out your life. you don’t know what you want. you’re an indecisive teen becoming an adult, but there was one thing you’re mom knew for sure...and that was you.”
I felt that
PSA: ANYONE WHO USES ESSENTIAL OILS PLEASE READ THIS!!!
recently my dog and cat have been acting strange, very lazy, sick and just not theirselves. i took them to the vet and turns out it’s from tea tree oil. i use this oil in my diffuser and it’s TOXIC to dogs and cats
Who remembers fern gully? That is such a beautiful kids movie hands down my fav
•live in a fantasy that’s often unrealistic
•priorities are all outta order
•if you’re not their significant other or best friend they’ll act like they hate you
•the only people that understand them are other water signs
•have a sparkle in their eye and literally glow
•so soft and gentle
•give the best hugs
•teach the best lessons
•everyone underestimates how smart they are
•when they love, they love HARD
•want to help you grow
My baby got his first tooth that’s just barley popping through! He’s not even 6 months old yet omg
Cams baby falls asleep to baby Mozart what a legend
Changing my sons diaper is so hard it’s like wrestling a freaking baby alligator he won’t stay still haha
Today last year I was 13 weeks pregnant.. now I have a 5 1/2 month old 😭 time seriously flies
Instead of spending money on me this Black Friday I spent it all on stuff for the baby lol priorities
Rep. Steve Cohen: "We believe that President Trump has violated the Constitution and we've introduced five articles of impeachment."
My child is so gassy! I probably got 3 hours of sleep last night. I've tried just about everything except gas drops
any moms about to have a new baby who plan on breastfeeding: GET THE HAAKAA. go on amazon right now and buy the shit out of it
Today in class our professor held somebody’s baby for them but got tired of holding her so he asked to wear the baby carrier 😂😂😂
The way my house looks like reflects my mental state... with that being said can anyone guess what my house looks like 😒
Then you get a house and realize rugs cost $200
I cannot wait to have my own house and decorate it the way I want😍
forever jealous of ppl w 20/20 vision like how tf do y'all just SEE
Please stay this tiny forever
My son has been sleeping for 2 1/2 hours my house is clean & I don't know what to do with myself
10 days old vs 10 weeks, you guys I can't. 😭😭😭
u ever smell the air and it smells like the fourth grade scholastic bookfair on a chilly tuesday in october of 2007
I made the most perfect little boy.
Wow looking back at my old tweets.. I wish someone knocked me upside the head I was so annoying. Thank god for growing up
my dad doesn't even talk to me
MY DAD MAILED ME A TUPPERWARE OF MANGO THAT HE HAD CUT FOR ME IN AN ICEBOX BC I FORGOT THEM WHEN I WENT BACK TO SCHOOL HAHAH DAD OF THE YEAR
I want one
How is my chunk already almost 2 months old 😭
How is my chunk already almost 2 months old 😭
My 7 week old just slept through the night is this real life?!?
Why do I get the dirtiest looks in public for breastfeeding my son? COVERED UP. like would you rather hear him cry?
Not to be dramatic buuuttt I'd rather stick forks in my eyes than listen to someone who's not a parent give me parenting advice.
You know you're a mom when your hot coffee is now cold coffee
my brain as soon as september comes around: 🎃🕸🍁🕷🔥🦇🔮🍂⚰️🖤🍁⚰️🍂🔥🦇🖤🕷🎃🔥🍁🔥🔥🎃🦇🕷🍁⚰️🔮🍂🕸🕸⚰️🕸🦇🎃🔥🍁🦇🕸⚰️🔮🕷🖤🦇🍂🕸⚰️🍂🦇🍁🕷⚰️🖤⚰️🕸⚰️🍂🦇🍁🖤🕷⚰️🦇🕸🦇🕷🖤⚰️🕸🔥🍁🖤🦇🔥🖤⚰️🔮🕸🍂🕸⚰️🔥🦇
Hahah this is our relationship 😂🖤 I had you the most freaked out in pismo lmao!
When the only liquid drinks is liquor and monsters lol
Honestly I forgot how to do makeup
Same with my make up area. I can't work in a dirty space. My brain sizzles
I hate cooking and seeing dirty dishes in the sink, I always make sure the kitchen is clean before I start
Someone actually just asked me "isn't that too much avocado for one taco" excuse me sir THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS TOO MUCH AVOCADO
Nursing omg I'm so thirsty all the time I can never get enough water
What's bigger, pregnancy appetite or nursing appetite?
never stop being a good person because of bad people
$450 to look like i just stepped off the Mayflower??? i think tf not
bless everyone who is pretty enough, skinny enough, and rich enough to wear this dress
fake friends arent a thing to me anymore.... be my friend and ur my fkn friend, be fake n ur nothin to me
no time for bullshit
It's only 10 and my son has peed all over me twice already :))
When you need to shower but you're also a mom..
I never knew a 7 pound baby could fart so much and so loud omg lol
It's official I'm getting induced Saturday morning, still hoping my little man comes sooner though. Can't wait to meet my little angel 💙
I will be 41 weeks pregnant tomorrow SOS