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Check out the last 100 tweets of the user, with videos and, thumbnails of the pictures, and expanded url's embedded in the tweet.
@
ImageNameLocationTwitter sinceLinks
Dakota2011-09-24
@One_FineMess1,074 days
I'm a chick that digs chicks. I love dudes. I just don't fuck them.
FollowersFollowingTweetsListsFavorites
12,1062,34526,315885174,348
Bourby McBourbon @bourbonmelikey
Wanted: a guy who will appreciate my scars, still find me sexy in the most unflattering light, and gets the essence of hand holding.
210d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
218
83
Patrick @kcirtap11
Brain: It shouldn't matter so much.

Heart: Not your call.
234d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
758
557
Geanina McNope @Geanina_26K
I don't know, I'm not from here.

~My answer for everything
86d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
151
92
Dakota @One_FineMess
@thatstings @gay_gene @Lipglosslesbo

What the hell is an Internet Jenn??
8h in reply to thatstings               
Dakota @One_FineMess
It’s all good @thatstings. I call women dude too… unless I’m trying to get them in bed.

@Lipglosslesbo @gay_gene
8h in reply to thatstings               
2
Dakota @One_FineMess
Ha! Ok, I’ll have to give it to you @Lipglosslesbo, that made me laugh out loud.

@thatstings @gay_gene
8h in reply to Lipglosslesbo               
Darin McFunkyPants @darinlovesbacon
Using words like North, South, East and West when giving my Mom directions is pretty much the same thing as speaking Klingon
202d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
42
21
Darin McFunkyPants @darinlovesbacon
Abstinence is like drinking diet soda. You never really like it but you get used to it
165d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
45
29
Darin McFunkyPants @darinlovesbacon
Asking kids to help clean the house is like asking the dog to take the car in for an oil change
548d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
67
44
Darin McFunkyPants @darinlovesbacon
People used to laugh at my fanny pack until they found out I kept it full of whiskey, cigarettes and throwing stars
39d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
38
16
Darin McFunkyPants @darinlovesbacon
If my life was hooked up to a GPS you would constantly hear "Recalculating."
594d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
78
58
Darin McFunkyPants @darinlovesbacon
Shopping at Wal Mart after Midnight is like being in the middle of a Mexican Thriller video
1122d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
278
78
Darin McFunkyPants @darinlovesbacon
5 things men should never do naked:

Fight, play air guitar, fry bacon, jump rope, stand over a cat
502d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
57
36
Dakota @One_FineMess
Ha! Thank you @darinlovesbacon for the ToTD pick. It was one hell of a combination.

#FF @darinlovesbacon
19h               
1
Dakota @One_FineMess
Keep me guessing and I might get so confused I end up fucking someone else.
1d               
30
8
Dean @DeanOkay
Does giving a child a 1,500 piece puzzle as a birthday gift count as being passive aggressive
2d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
82
44
Alex van Beek @AlexvanBeek
Hey, Facebook. Dead people can't read your RIP shoutouts, because death.
355d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
1,919
1,175
Just Bill @WilliamAder
I can always go back to writing Golden Girls fan-fiction, so it's not like I need this.
1d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
264
120
Dick Whitman @DadAfterDark
Switching to whiskey, so now is a great time to remind me which of you DON'T want dick pics.
1d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
15
8
Sheila @1Happytwit
My boss is so lazy he just clutched his chest and tumbled down the stairs and now he’s asleep at the bottom.
529d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
357
141
Dean @DeanOkay
I have no idea how to meet up with friends that don't include eating or drinking.
2d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
44
29
Sparky @crunchenhanced
“You RT’d WHO???”

*blocks them

-REALLLLLY stable people
5d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
55
29
Dakota @One_FineMess
If you ever want to feel really fat, try sleeping in a twin bed again.

*sleeps on floor*
2d               
14
2
madi foster @FosterMadi
Anyone want to be fake engaged for two hours so we can eat cake samples?
6d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
47
21
Manguis @TlaxBoy05
Married Sext:

Answer your fucking phone
298d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
2,353
1,524
Spanky McDutcherson @thatdutchperson
Guide to successfully living with a woman:

1. Understand the severity of her getting bangs.
5d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
81
34
Tony @Tmoney68
Almost face-planted while waddling to the hall with pants around my ankles to get toilet paper. BRB, gotta go try to rein in all this sexy.
7d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
98
42
Dakota @One_FineMess
I’m just a girl standing in front of an open refrigerator eating a bag of chips while trying to figure out what I want to eat.
3d               
53
24
Jess [ham] @thejessbess
Missed connection: You were refilling an extra large popcorn tub. I was the girl who wore her bathrobe to the movie theatre.
31d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
295
107
Lori @HeyitsLori
I was told today that I was delightful so I upped my Xanax.
16d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
50
5
Lori @HeyitsLori
As I was updating my dating profile, I dropped a forkful of mac n’ cheese on my boobs.
13d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
47
4
Rob Fee @robfee
According to the NFL suspensions for Josh Gordon and Ray Rice, Half Baked is a more disturbing movie than Last House on the Left.
6d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
186
150
Rob Fee @robfee
If you watch Pretty Woman backwards Richard Gere stops kissing his wife on the mouth so she returns her fancy clothes to become a prostitute
6d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
330
146
Darin McFunkyPants @darinlovesbacon
Favstar appears to be fucked up so just assume that I gave you a trophy and be thankful
3d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
7
1
SherryBoBerry @SherBoBer
*stomps angrily upstairs*
*takes batteries out of sex toys*
*stomps angrily downstairs*
*puts batteries in Wii remote*
*hands remote to kid*
137d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
384
160
allison tanenhaus @atanenhaus
*shakes hands with internet date*
Great to meet you, Google's told me so much about you!
4d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
54
9
Sam Reid @SamReidSays
About to get this girl's number as soon as I figure out her passcode.
15d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
42
11
Sassafrantz @Sassafrantz
Dropped my moral compass in my beer again.
4d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
222
111
Cock McPuffins @iheartgunts
Underestimate me at your own risk.
4d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
23
12
CandyPants @suzieQ0007
My Canadian 4yo just told me he wants to be Captain America if anyone wants to take a traitor off my hands.
4d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
161
64
Sassafrantz @Sassafrantz
Play hard to get by showing up on your date with your kids.
3d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
109
30
Dakota @One_FineMess
4yo: Wouldn’t it be cool if the dogs could talk

Me: Umm, no. I’d have to shoot them

4yo: Why, do they know secrets

Me: …

4yo: Thought so
3d               
40
10
Dakota @One_FineMess
Walmart Health Clinics…

The worlds newest oxymoron.
3d               
25
5
Chez McCorvey @CelebrityChez
A tornado warning system but for people that start talking about cross fit.
6d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
69
26
Jessica Conrad @jessicajconrad
I wish I enjoyed anything as much as married women on Facebook love posting about "date night with the hubby."
13d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
362
230
Dakota @One_FineMess
Damn bro, sorry your soulmate is a whore.
4d               
29
6
Sister Mary Elephant @randomlady74
Want to fall into a well just for the alone time.
7d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
52
28
Jay @theshamingofjay
It's almost fall, time to start lying to myself about getting in shape for next summer.
5d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
188
89
Busted Flip Flops @GrillinChillin9
Mommas don't let your boys grow up to be male cheerleaders.
8d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
48
26
Claudia @bossy_bootz
Coffee so black it gets shot by a cop
19d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
212
126
9⃣⛳ĮRÓÑ @JFRU
Being cremated is my last hope of getting a smoking hot body.
7d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
4
4
Dakota @One_FineMess
Nominate people for the ALS challenge who are most likely to have a heart attack from the ice cold water.

Gotta keep this shit interesting.
4d               
17
5
Dakota @One_FineMess
Just remembered there was a pack of M&M’s in the kitchen and I’ve never been more motivated to get out of bed.
4d               
39
14
~The Night Owl~ @AIMMadellynne
Ohhh , you're straight?
So is spaghetti, until it gets hot.
109d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
63
42
Sea Tea @Tierno158
Sure it was sad to miss my sister's wedding but I had to fly to Minneapolis on short notice to see why a follower took back a retweet.
4d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
20
17
slaughthie @slaughthie
Missed connection: I was trying to plug in a USB.
13d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
256
83
Loco Eric @ericsshadow
Show your boss how much integrity you have by throwing a coworker under the bus.
12d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
371
178
The Alicianater @leechee420
Hey people who run "for fun": Have you heard about drugs?
10d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
167
97
Christy @LoveNLunchmeat
Walking is hard. Falling is easy.

-poets, toddlers, alcoholics... me
5d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
126
62
Michelle @lil_whisky
Ladies, there is a very fine line between wearing makeup and just looking like you got gang banged by crayola.
11d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
144
86
Michelle @lil_whisky
I sprayed Taylor Swift's new perfume on me, then started writing a five page letter to the boy who forgot to put a straw in my bag at Arby's
90d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
206
137
Dakota @One_FineMess
People make mistakes. Get the fuck over it.
4d               
12
4
Tim John @UrbanDouchebag
I bet a lot of humanity's greatest achievements stemmed mostly from having nothing better to do.
6d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
42
13
Fuckin Bob @gwatts77
Damn bro, judging by your handshake I would hate to be your dick.
404d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
1,974
1,265
Gordon Heliotrope @GordoHelio
Job interview...

H- "So how would you describe yourself?"

Me- "Verbally but just incase I prepared a dance"..
124d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
471
371
slaughthie @slaughthie
I'm emotionally available if you're cake.
8d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
423
220
Dom @DominicStraw
It's been exactly twelve years since that guy told me I hold grudges.
59d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
311
150
Jordan @jordan_stratton
Now tell me how old your baby is in HOURS.
32d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
693
409
slaughthie @slaughthie
I don't get reception in the break room at my new job so I'm putting in my two weeks.
7d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
200
69
Chez McCorvey @CelebrityChez
My refrigerator just walked to my bedroom, opened the door, stood there and stared at me for five minutes, then it closed the door and left.
770d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
2,130
1,484
Ivsy01 @Ivsy01
Omg it's so hard to meet people on the freeway.
8d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
42
16
Be'elzabooze @ventivodkacran
When your child reaches the age when they start climbing on everything, just go ahead and release them back into the wild.
6d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
41
15
Loco Eric @ericsshadow
This is so embarrassing, what's your name again?

- me, the first 30 times I meet everyone
405d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
3,026
2,318
Balls Deep @ThRealBallsDeep
It's never good when HR sends you an email and the subject line is "Your Twitter Account".
82d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
714
407
DaddyJew @DaddyJew
If "bae" means bacon and eggs then yes, I'm chilling with my bae
58d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
922
601
@sshole @Lisa_Laughs_
Just waiting to hear those three special words... "there's no evidence."
102d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
970
615
BeardedSteel @BeardedSteel
I'll be having sex telepathically today. So if you have an orgasm, that was me.
7d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
168
75
L O R I @LoriLuvsShoes
A 40 yr old woman will never wake u up in the middle of the night to ask u what you're thinking bc she doesn't care what you're thinking
8d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
494
295
SoulCoffin @SoulYodeler
*has moment of clarity*

*pauses*

*continues throwing rocks at birds*
8d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
297
172
MF FairyPrincessRach @Smooheed
Stop screaming! I thought you'd appreciate having someone to pass you a towel when you got out of the shower
6d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
239
123
Little Greenis @DurtMcHurtt
I'm surprisingly nimble for a guy who lifts multiple chins before making a cutthroat gesture.
11d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
345
177
moody monday @mdob11
"More." - stomach
16d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
700
407
MF FairyPrincessRach @Smooheed
*takes a deep breath*

Now I'm ready to fuck some shit up
14d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
248
141
Raspberry Jam @Jenny4ashley
My stages of drunk just look like me playing strip poker.
8d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
84
40
ReeseButCallMeV @ReeseButCallMeV
My mom just gave me lunch money. For old times sake, I'm going to go buy drugs with it.
7d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
263
123
Dakota @One_FineMess
Jesus mother of fuck there was a snake in the house.

In the house!

That’s it. That’s the fucking tweet.
6d               
28
10
Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy
So it's come to this: I've started accepting meetings I know I can back out of as a way of keeping others from scheduling too many meetings.
26d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
86
42
Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy
The audio kept cutting out on the CEO’s quarterly all-company video conference, but no one felt like they’d missed anything.
14d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
40
15
JennyPentland @JennyPentland
My husband just went 69 mph in a 50 zone just so he could point at the speedometer and wink at me. 15 years and going strong.
7d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
175
22
Twitnter is Coming @OhNoSheTwitnt
Just spilled coffee on my shirt what disease does that raise money for?
7d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
682
382
Twitnter is Coming @OhNoSheTwitnt
Getting a cancelled notification for a meeting is the work equivalent of having an orgasm.
8d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
212
98
Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy
74 emails since Thursday and yet not one decision.
8d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
41
29
M @Love_bug1016
An intelligent yet inappropriate mind is deliciously sexy.
8d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
365
260
SassSlinger @sass_slinger
If I don't notice your absence, I don't need your presence.
141d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
162
95
john @castabignet
That moment in the van when you realize there never was any candy......

That's what marriage is.
194d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
689
405
Rob Knows Stuff @ForeverHairy
The only way it would be a good morning is if I slept through it.
10d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
36
18
Smug Lemur @Smug_Lemur
"I love you to pieces," I said as I started up the chainsaw.
10d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
180
102
Floyd @dafloydsta
But have you tried trusting a complete stranger from the internet?
13d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
333
219
Josh @iwearaonesie
*slowly takes pants off during sexual harassment presentation*
15d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
231
127
john @castabignet
Wife: I think the nanny is a whore. Do you know what came out of her mouth this morning?

Me: Cum?

Wife: Save it for twitter jack hole.
328d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
391
161
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