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Check out the last 100 tweets of the user, with videos and, thumbnails of the pictures, and expanded url's embedded in the tweet.
@
ImageNameLocationTwitter sinceLinks
Dakota2011-09-24
@One_FineMess1,128 days
I'm a chick that digs chicks. I love dudes. I just don't fuck them.
FollowersFollowingTweetsListsFavorites
12,2442,39926,835902174,647
Dakota @One_FineMess
I had so many skeletons in my closet they spilled into the hallway, so I just set my house on fire.
2h               
4
1
Miz Jules @jkrambles
No, this is not an argument, damn it.

This is simply me attempting to explain to you why it is that I am right,

and you,

are soooo wrong.
13d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
73
22
January James @JanuaryJames
Be inspirational...somewhere else.
10d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
21
7
January James @JanuaryJames
Marilyn Monroe was not a philosopher.
2h Retweeted by One_FineMess               
19
4
@sshole @Lisa_Laughs_
I Know What You Did Last Summer:
*pulls up your Twitter page*
36d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
329
160
@sshole @Lisa_Laughs_
Liquor that looks like water is why I have trust issues.
30d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
364
195
@sshole @Lisa_Laughs_
If hearts were made to be broken then so were faces.
23d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
330
171
@sshole @Lisa_Laughs_
He said I'd be the death of him, and for once... he was right.
22d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
253
135
@sshole @Lisa_Laughs_
"Man, you're just and accident waiting to happen"
-What?
*pushes him downstairs*
"OOPS"
16d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
178
84
Dakota @One_FineMess
A co-worker got laid off and wrote a poem telling everyone goodbye.

If only she’d put that much effort into work…
2h               
9
1
pig @_sweet_ham
You have more chance of getting me to wipe your ass than going to your alcohol free wedding.
5h Retweeted by One_FineMess               
16
10
The Ideal Exit @theidealexit
You guys are my favorite assholes ...
33d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
11
8
Just Jane @jdforshort
I'm at my most trusting when I hand my phone to a family member to look at a photo I took

I'm at my most ninja snatching it back pre swipe
5h Retweeted by One_FineMess               
89
70
Social Extortion @SocialExtortion
I'll take up smoking just to avoid holding your baby
19d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
110
34
gerry hall @gerryhallcomedy
"I don't know honey, I guess Tinder must have installed itself on my phone. Probably a virus." - an example of something that doesn't work.
12d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
7
3
gerry hall @gerryhallcomedy
My wife hates when I talk to my mom.

Sometimes she'll even interrupt the séance.
12d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
21
10
gerry hall @gerryhallcomedy
Dear 'lost cat' poster people:

Your cat isn't 'lost'. It's totally capable of finding its way home.

It just hates you.
9d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
21
17
gerry hall @gerryhallcomedy
"10...9...8...6...3...uh...M..."

"Thanks for coming in. Presently we have no job openings at NASA"
8d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
10
10
gerry hall @gerryhallcomedy
It's been ten weeks, when the hell is the next Fast and Furious movie coming out?
8d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
14
7
gerry hall @gerryhallcomedy
It was looking forward to Take Your Daughter To Work Day, but it turns out they don't keep 'em.
4d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
13
9
gerry hall @gerryhallcomedy
"My cat is my spirit animal"

"But your cat is alive, it can't be your...wait, what are you...OH MY GOD!!

"okay, NOW it's my spirit animal"
3d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
8
4
gerry hall @gerryhallcomedy
My theory that the Human Resources lady just needed a hug turned out to be waaaay off.
1d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
22
9
gerry hall @gerryhallcomedy
I have twice now tweeted about a cat possibly kidnapping a baby, and NO stars or rt's. WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO MAKE YOU PEOPLE HAPPY?!
1d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
22
8
Dakota @One_FineMess
Thank you @gerryhallcomedy for the ToTD pick. You’re always so kind to me.

#FF @gerryhallcomedy
3h               
Josh @iwearaonesie
My wife said I need to grow up. I was speechless.

It's hard to say anything when you have 45 gummy bears in your mouth
15d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
884
536
Nobody @mcibty
*Opens your coffin*

...So, did you get my text, or?
64d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
222
138
Evan E @evanecclestone
I realize I haven't been around much on Twitter lately, but rest assured I've done nothing productive in my absence..
417d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
65
28
Cheshire @BrownBoxers
Lamaze breathing but while pooping...
1d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
77
46
Envy Da Tropic @envydatropic
I walk into work just like everyone else.....disgruntled and ready to go home.
1d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
289
206
The Eh Factor @AngelaEhh
Been so long since there was a man in my house I'm sure my neighbors would think I was being robbed.
5d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
270
109
The Eh Factor @AngelaEhh
My goal weight is simply being able to get up off the couch in one try.
3d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
441
254
Rizz @InnocentMarina6
We should open a store and call it Forever 39, We can sell wine and vibrators...you in?
473d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
956
478
Rizz @InnocentMarina6
FILF- Followers I'd like to Fuck
309d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
1,000
530
Rizz @InnocentMarina6
If you're gonna be weird, be confident about it.
274d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
1,294
1,010
Rizz @InnocentMarina6
Boobs: because you can't suck on a girls personality
319d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
1,791
1,167
Angel Eyes @WineyBeach78
My safe word is: I have 3 kids!
144d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
383
187
Angel Eyes @WineyBeach78
Excuse me, do I hate you from somewhere?
88d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
707
499
Tequila stirred @BitterBeyatch
I'm going to play with my skeletons in the closet

Just to be sure I still regret them
8d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
55
31
Tequila stirred @BitterBeyatch
Object in twitter may seem more attractive than they really are
3d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
99
53
Susan W @Maxine12333
Teach your child what the world should be like before they go and find out what it is like. Maybe they will be the one to make a difference
3d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
158
99
slaughthie @slaughthie
I'm going to be back fat for Halloween.
5d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
387
141
Sara Wright @SaraWright89
Stop putting "TeamSingle after every tweet . Single is not a team. You are ALONE !
1d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
13
4
Bert @BertCarrillo
I don't like who I am when I see a wasp.
155d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
1,335
860
Bert @BertCarrillo
I'd jump in front of a gently tossed beach ball for you.
84d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
1,163
852
xlpaws @xlpaws
Walk of shame?
Pfft, had sex, doesn't matter.
2d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
74
44
Carly Danger @carlyken
I leave my vacuum in the middle of the floor at all times so when I have unexpected company I can say I was just about to clean my house.
676d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
1,408
762
Mary Habanero @UhhmIDontKnow
I'm greedy with things that are mine. Get over it.
2d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
37
19
Angie @angeliav68
I feel like there's something missing in my life. Not sure if it's a person, a puppy or just a drink..
5d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
73
49
Dakota @One_FineMess
Just paid for McDonalds with my credit card… classy.
2d               
34
8
Dakota @One_FineMess
The wonderful 4yo I’m always tweeting about. The one with two worthless drug addicted parents.

She may finally become ours for good!
2d               
39
6
Dakota @One_FineMess
Just rolled my eyes so hard I lost a contact in my brain.
2d               
62
25
Evil Noodles @Dawn_M_
A fun thing to do at weddings is refuse to agree that the bride looks beautiful.
9d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
649
350
gordon @hippocroteez
When in doubt, throw her out.
- relationship advice
11d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
13
5
gordon @hippocroteez
I may love you but I'll never 'wash your car' love you.
10d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
6
2
gordon @hippocroteez
Those that dismiss experienced advice deserve their struggle.
8d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
3
2
gordon @hippocroteez
I enjoy long walks on the beach and stomping through the house to let her know I'm putting up the laundry.
7d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
5
2
Tequila stirred @BitterBeyatch
*lights your pics on fire so I can imagine you burning in hell

Singing Kumbaya my lord, kumbaya
5d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
27
17
Tequila stirred @BitterBeyatch
Dear god or creators of science

If we could Piss from our assholes, it would be self cleaning

Just a suggestion
5d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
23
12
Sufficient Charm @SufficientCharm
How to keep him interested only in you:

Step 1: Kill all other females.
6d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
283
150
The Robfather™ @thatUPSdude
Halloween costume idea: You with a life.
5d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
57
32
Mediocre Marvel @eliserose5
It's not me that doesn't like you, it's my medication.
5d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
71
42
Envy Da Tropic @envydatropic
I give not one fuck if the glass is half full or half empty. I just wanna know what's in it and can I have the rest.
5d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
363
214
The Robfather™ @thatUPSdude
Every time I RT someone and 1 of my follower @s the person, I feel like a father of bad kids.

"I'm sorry they normally don't act this way"
5d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
77
32
Northern Lights @PinkCamoTO
I was on time for work today but took a really long time logging in to make up for it.
5d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
140
83
Beautiful Sophrosyne @WickedDarkEyes
Sure, people are cool!!

Way over there.
5d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
275
167
Cheshire @BrownBoxers
I got you out of my heart

So get out of my hoodie...
5d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
194
134
Dakota @One_FineMess
I haven’t felt suicidal in awhile.

When does Adele come out with her next album?
5d               
52
25
Jess [ham] @thejessbess
Guy: I think we should see other people. Me: *claps along to mariachi band standing next to table* haha what
20d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
844
281
David Hughes @david8hughes
There was a fire at work today. Margaret died but we got to go home at 2 o'clock.
18d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
603
274
moody monday @mdob11
911: What is your emergency?
Me: HE CALLED ME BRO
16d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
800
330
Housewife of Hell @HousewifeOfHell
Just to be sure, when baking cookies for the PTA, do I stick a hot poker in my eye first, and THEN chew glass shards, or vice versa?
6d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
65
29
Housewife of Hell @HousewifeOfHell
No, YOU use 10 percent of your brain.

I've figured out how to get away with a lot less.
5d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
75
33
Susan W @Maxine12333
You know you're getting old when you stand up and your knees look
like 2 Shar Pei puppy faces
9d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
131
51
Susan W @Maxine12333
Maybe it is all your parents fault, who cares? Grow up and be responsible for your own actions.
6d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
199
88
Kim Kardashian's Toe @KimKardashsToe
You think depression is about the bad things that happen to you? Doesn't matter. It all turns to Opposite Day by the time it hits your brain
16d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
26
8
Kim Kardashian's Toe @KimKardashsToe
"Thank you for getting your period out of the way before our big romantic weekend," I calligraph onto a doilied Hallmark card.
14d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
76
26
Drunk&Disorderly @DionneMcNutt
Sometimes I can't believe what little assholes my kids can be, then I remember I'm their mother.
15d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
61
31
Heart Breaker @hbreaker9999
There's always that one guy in the elevator who's got to crack the weight limit joke and make everybody look for the fat person.
6d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
27
14
Sparky @crunchenhanced
My goal in life is to be as sarcastic as possible without getting punched in the face.
6d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
235
159
Dakota @One_FineMess
Based on the amount of Gatorade the 16 drinks, it seems that sitting on the couch playing with your phone requires a shit ton of rehydration
6d               
40
16
Ry's Baby Girl @__Shannanigans
All of us have "issues". The difference is that some use them to motivate change, and some of us use them as an excuse to stay the same.
391d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
316
300
Dakota @One_FineMess
Are we still doing Ebola tweets or have those died off…
6d               
83
40
snowy @canadasandra
How to break up with crazy chicks.
1. Nope.
2. Hahahaha
3. You're so fucked.
16d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
252
128
Dave Hurley @hurlarious
Sorry your boyfriend ordered a zinfandel
10d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
49
19
Bruce Force @BruceForce
2010: Didn't jog
2011: Didn't jog
2012: Didn't jog
2013: Didn't jog
2014: Haven't jogged

~ This is a running joke
14d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
1,038
703
AmishPornStar @AmishPornStar1
"What a dick!!!"

~me, reading my own tweets
8d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
94
53
Grumpy Cat @gurmpycatz
From the moment I saw you, I knew I was gonna spend the rest of my life avoiding you.
7d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
18
20
Underchilde @Underchilde
A good first impression doesn’t matter if you never want to see the other person again.
9d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
526
358
Taz @tazsme
"Can I ask you something, mannequin to mannequin?"
Sure.
"You ever been stood up?"

Don't leave, I'll do better
11d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
42
16
ibid @ibid78
I'm just a bird, standing in front of another bird, wondering why this guy asked us to stand so close together and oh look he's got a stone
14d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
145
50
Snatch Dragon @pan_opt_icon
Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?

Me: To propagate authoritarianism and generate revenue for the state?

Cop: Besides that.
12d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
191
132
CrazyMyra @OutOnTheMoors
How does an eyelash, so soft and fine, turn into a cheese-grater when it gets under your eyelid?
8d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
291
182
CrazyMyra @OutOnTheMoors
Apologised to a CW that I can't attend his leaving party tonight. Turns out it was last night. Unfortunately I can't make that one either.
57d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
314
178
Adrianna La Cervix @NotUrGumar
The main reason I got married is that I really hate driving..
42d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
221
108
Adrianna La Cervix @NotUrGumar
Truth be told, most of us would do porn if we had less belly fat
50d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
270
152
JustSomeFool @just1fool
"Fuck that bitch!"

~Someone not getting laid
7d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
108
74
Nerf Herder @TrueTorontoGirl
This year for Halloween I'm going to be a drunken asshole just like last year.
8d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
157
70
Dakota @One_FineMess
I’ve recently decided that God only helps those that don’t deserve it, so I’ve decided to become an even bigger asshole.
7d               
39
12
Inconsequential @inconsequentia2
Never give up on something you can't go a day without thinking about...
919d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
1,473
1,155
notyourjester @Loli_Sug
Coworker said "gosh dang poopy doo" when something went wrong. Can't wait for my turn to swear. I bet I win.
8d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
40
13
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