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Last 100 tweetsCheck out the last 100 tweets of the user, with videos and, thumbnails of the pictures, and expanded url's embedded in the tweet.
@
ImageNameLocationTwitter sinceLinks
Dakota2011-09-24
@One_FineMess937 days
I'm a chick that digs chicks. I love dudes. I just don't fuck them.
FollowersFollowingTweetsListsFavorites
11,4141,98522,919885169,363
Swishergirl @Swishergirl24
Coworker: Do you have any plans for Easter?

Me: Let's not talk.
20h Retweeted by One_FineMess               
166
85
The Force @BruceForce
It's not a typo. I can't spell.
14d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
204
144
why? @knot_eye
Before I follow you back, I'm gonna need the list of people I'll piss off every time I retweet you.
16h Retweeted by One_FineMess               
112
74
Rizz @InnocentMarina6
"No strings attached" is guy code for "I'm emotionally retarded but your vagina sounds neat!"
296d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
586
335
JeannerBeaner @Goggner
It's like this fucking bird outside my window is inspirationally tweeting about spring at 5 AM.
16d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
23
10
Dakota @One_FineMess
*sprains ankle running from snake*

Me: Just pretend we no longer have a garage.

GF: What about the cars?

Me: We’ll buy new ones.
7h               
18
2
shuga lynx @jkstills
I'm too tired to be mean...

so you can just go fuck yourself.
14h Retweeted by One_FineMess               
49
24
Sarcastic Mommy @sarcasticmommy4
Is it really drinking alone if you can see your neighbors are outside, too?
15h Retweeted by One_FineMess               
68
41
Skinnie Talls @SkinnieTalls
Is wife a medical condition?
3d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
280
160
KingRazor @johnnyh805
Everybody: You hold the key to your own happiness



Me: *Drops key down Storm drain*
23h Retweeted by One_FineMess               
9
8
╠ ѕιя мσик ╣ @iGreenMonk
Life is hard for everyone. That's why there's such a nice reward at the end of it.
1d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
196
189
Andrew Dykes @Andrew_S_Dykes
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.
67d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
116
96
Dakota @One_FineMess
I see your fanny pack and raise you cargo shorts…

Dyke smack talk at Gay Pride.
21h               
25
4
Dakota @One_FineMess
I’m not Catholic, but I decided to participate in Lent this year by giving up dieting. I’m sorry it’s all coming to an end soon.
21h               
23
8
Lori @HeyitsLori
My favorite yoga position is downward facing ice cream.
12d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
77
50
Lori @HeyitsLori
I came in second in the 6th grade spelling bee and that’s when the voices started.
11d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
40
4
Lori @HeyitsLori
If I get murdered are you guys gonna unfollow me?
10d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
56
10
Lori @HeyitsLori
My best friend is pregnant so I've been showing my love and support by packing on a few pounds.
7d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
30
1
Lori @HeyitsLori
Whenever anyone smiles at me, I change all my passwords.
1d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
194
60
I Hate Kate @SuperApple8
I've spent a disconcerting amount of time wondering what Steven Tyler sounds like when he ejaculates.
55d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
155
63
I Hate Kate @SuperApple8
Of course it upsets me that I've offended you. You're so fucking loud and obnoxious about it.
45d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
128
48
I Hate Kate @SuperApple8
We go together like lemon juice and eyeballs.
46d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
153
86
I Hate Kate @SuperApple8
You can now buy mini Starbursts that come unwrapped, so check me out when I'm on TLC next year being extracted from my house through a wall.
220d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
550
291
I Hate Kate @SuperApple8
What the fuck do you mean I don't seem very approachable?
244d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
759
434
I Hate Kate @SuperApple8
I make broken look fuckin' fabulous.
339d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
752
394
I Hate Kate @SuperApple8
Whenever you're having a shit day, just remember somebody has cried on TV over being dumped by Bret Michaels.
298d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
1,269
737
Dakota @One_FineMess
Psst…

I’d like to quietly thank @SuperApple8 for the ToTD.

Don’t be mad Jesus. She gave up Tweeting for lent, not picks.

#FF @SuperApple8
23h               
1
1
Paper Wash© @PaperWash
Kids are like credit card debt that you have to feed and yell at.
7d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
422
240
Frickin Dumbass @DumbConfessions
"Fuck it."

-Women parking.
64d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
1,693
1,150
Swishergirl @Swishergirl24
My boss acts like I'm supposed to love showing up to work every day with a hangover and staring at a screen.
1d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
220
80
A Glossinger @AGlossinger
I don't know what's going on with you right now, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with you being an asshole.
1d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
105
74
Fallun Angel @Fallun_Angel
It's not that I don't have anything to say...I'm quiet because I'm examining my prey.
4d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
6
1
Fallun Angel @Fallun_Angel
I'm trying to fall asleep but I can't focus.

I keep saying 1 sheep, 2 sheep, cow, duck, horse, old MacDonald had a farm, heeeeeey macarena!
4d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
13
6
Fallun Angel @Fallun_Angel
I think my cup of coffee just called me its Bitch...
4d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
7
2
Fallun Angel @Fallun_Angel
Today is not cooperating...
2d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
8
3
Adie @TheBlessMess
It's not a successful night out until you've burned your face on the hot dog rotisserie at 7-Eleven.
1d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
90
24
DeezNutz @DzNutz83
If you've never had to apologize to complete strangers about my behavior then we've obviously never drank together.
21d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
398
256
Molly @SleepingSuspect
I don't seem to be allergic to this blanket of pollen but I am disturbed by how wide my ass print is when I get out of a chair on the porch.
13d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
11
6
Jake Vig @Jake_Vig
If I don't have my phone with me, I will read the back of a ketchup packet to avoid talking to people.
2d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
217
130
Wine-O-Mite @Jen_Up_
Sitting in the parking lot of 3's dance school giving myself a pep talk:

You can do it. Just smile & nod at the moms & try not to say fuck.
2d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
205
86
Wine-O-Mite @Jen_Up_
3: I went to timeout yesterday

M: why?

3: don't worry about it, mama. Your face is scary when you worry.

Related, made an apt for Botox.
2d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
141
51
Only Fast Eddie @OnlyFastEddie
I'd like to help you disappoint your family.
4d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
206
120
The H Factor @onelongbender
It's been one of those days for six years now.
5d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
554
408
That Carly Girl @thatcarlygirl
"It's okay, little buddy. Mommy cries when her bottle is empty, too."
86d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
729
390
sara @SomthinBoutSara
It's not creepy if I change my last name to your twitter handle is it?
7d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
218
90
Swishergirl @Swishergirl24
Netflix just suggested that I get the fuck off the couch.
5d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
883
406
fuckinmorons @Fuckinmorons
Every time I try to pose seductively I pull a muscle
185d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
87
51
JT @JT_IV_
Sorry I yelled skeet skeet skeet when the priest sprinkled the holy water.
14d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
126
65
Bitter Little Man @bitterlittleman
Yeah I'll delete and repost a tweet after 12 hours since I just now noticed a typo because I have motherfucking standards.
5d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
25
6
Daniel Plainview @10InchesPlus
You say premeditated, I say fantasized.
9d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
256
171
PrincessCandyEmpire @llvvzz
What woman say right before they kill you:

Wow.
Fine.
Whatever.
No problem.
I'm not mad.
Nothing's wrong.
Sure, stay friends with your ex.
570d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
3,371
2,531
nick pants @SocialExtortion
breakdancing is just having a seizure on a piece of cardboard
5d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
95
37
Cookie's Eye Candy @sfreeze6
Hey Winnie The Pooh - Get a fucking shirt that fits, dickmouth.
5d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
253
168
Sophia Benoit @1followernodad
I assumed everyone in Boston was either a cop, a firefighter, a leprechaun or Ben Affleck. So far, I haven't been wrong.
396d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
57
17
Sophia Benoit @1followernodad
My mom's hobbies include calling me during class, texting me that she has just called, and then not answering when I call back later.
752d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
52
28
Sophia Benoit @1followernodad
Some random Indian man added me on snapchat and is now sending me videos of his family reunion and it turns out this is exactly what I need.
36d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
71
17
Sophia Benoit @1followernodad
40 yr old Asian man next to me is reading AND highlighting an article in "Feline Wellness" magazine, and it's like DIAL DOWN THE SEX PLZ!!!!
84d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
74
21
Jarhead @Jarhead44
I'd make a horrible serial killer 'cause I'd have to tweet about it.
3d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
119
73
That Carly Girl @thatcarlygirl
Was that selfie really the best one from the photo shoot?
6d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
138
68
Chris Young @CYComedy
My mom seems to think that me saying "goodbye" on the phone means that our conversation is just beginning.
4d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
223
128
Dakota @One_FineMess
The dark circles under my eyes are from staying up all night thinking about you.

Ok, fine. They’re actually from my weekend cocaine bender.
2d               
45
14
#DEAD @dulcetry
Well sweetheart, your dad sent me a text saying "u up?" and that's the story of how you were conceived.
117d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
244
89
#DEAD @dulcetry
People who intentionally have children make me nervous.
1185d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
313
84
#DEAD @dulcetry
A woman should be two things: whatever and whoever the fuck she wants.
39d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
305
198
#DEAD @dulcetry
Look Ma, no future plans
99d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
343
168
#DEAD @dulcetry
Hey dude in the Miata, there's something caught in your door.

Yep. It's your labia. Tuck that shit in.
1205d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
521
105
#DEAD @dulcetry
Hey asshole: if you don't want me to ride your ass, don't play such awesome cartoons for your kids in the backseat.
1182d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
626
168
starburst lemondrop @lemonmartinis
I bet deaf people scare the shit out of bank tellers when they hand them a note.
376d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
138
70
starburst lemondrop @lemonmartinis
I just got done doing 5 sets of diddly squats.
407d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
234
119
starburst lemondrop @lemonmartinis
If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blankets back to your side.
411d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
424
296
That Mothafucka's @Haha_No_Mofo
I'm very simple to please.. just give me a fairy tale love with lots of porno type sex.

Easy peasy!
166d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
575
321
Alter_Nat @No_not_that_one
Fuck the angel on the left, and the devil on my right shoulder; it's the bitch in between that can't make up her mind.
74d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
356
230
Kitteh McBitcherson @McOnionButt
My boob sweat smells like buttered popcorn. Sup fellas
195d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
68
26
pinapl @pinapl
So today is throwback, happy sibling, be nice to a dyslexic panda day. Or some such shit. I just fucking call it Thursday.
7d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
26
5
J€®M§ Fø ®ęäł @jergarl
It's late, I have a headache, and I'm not in the mood for sex but this seems like a great time to bring up stuff from 137 years ago.

-Wives
3d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
321
211
Lesley @lafpgh
This Twitter-centric midlife crisis is fun, but it's keeping me from more important pursuits like researching my plastic surgery options.
2d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
145
65
Brian @mrjack720bk
I would go outside but I don't have a couch out there to lay on
3d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
64
46
Dakota @One_FineMess
Just spent $75 on gas faster than a dude reaching climax the first time he ever had sex.
2d               
26
5
Dakota @One_FineMess
Let me save you some effort. I don’t like you so there’s no need for you to put in the effort.

Ok. Great. Nice chat.
2d               
39
15
Liz ♛ @lovemyboots111
When you feel like giving up, think of the people that would love to see you fail.....

Then prove them wrong
38d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
648
577
Dave @gneicco
Correcting grammar on Twitter is like promoting healthy eating at Golden Corral.
3d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
27
3
Dakota @One_FineMess
Sorry house guests…

I only shit in the guest bathroom because the master bath has a weak wifi connection.
2d               
47
11
ajax anselmo @ajax06
My day just got 750mg better.
187d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
568
269
Mom of the Year™ @24HourBitching
Just trying to give my kids a few childhood memories they don't have to repress...
309d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
371
209
Mom of the Year™ @24HourBitching
In hindsight, saying 'game on, motherfuckers' when arriving to volunteer at the elementary school book fair, might have been an overkill.
16d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
161
90
Words for Ladies @wordsofladies
Where you invest your love you invest your life.
3d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
11
15
Sarcastic Mommy @sarcasticmommy4
"That's ok, honey, I'll just have my Dad come fix our dishwasher."

~ Reverse psychology, bitches!
18d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
142
58
Sarcastic Mommy @sarcasticmommy4
It isn't until your kids start talking back that you realize dogs would've been a better option.
6d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
159
91
Sarcastic Mommy @sarcasticmommy4
I learn from my mistakes pretty fast.

Like, tomorrow I think I won't pick up my kids from school.
10d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
132
67
Sarcastic Mommy @sarcasticmommy4
"No, honey, I don't talk about you on twitter."

*enables passcode lock on phone*
19d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
194
89
Sarcastic Mommy @sarcasticmommy4
One of the greatest gifts my kids have given me is my high tolerance for alcohol.
29d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
319
154
Sarcastic Mommy @sarcasticmommy4
A sign that it's time to do the dishes & get off twitter:

Someone just used a Tupperware lid as a plate.
26d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
486
265
Housewife of Hell @HousewifeOfHell
Hello? Yes, I'd like to phone-in a tweet, please.
3d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
31
12
Tweeting Dad @TweetingDadGuy
It's great that my garage also doubles as a life-sized Jenga puzzle.
4d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
62
22
Scott Urich Hunt @scottthetwat
I like your brand of bullshit.
3d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
129
78
C. David Hammer @CletusHammer
She's fucking awesome. Like a normal person really; just without the self-destructive obsessions.
90d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
385
151
C. David Hammer @CletusHammer
Mindless cruelty visited on the defenseless, no matter the severity, is the greatest failure of humanity,
32d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
189
108
C. David Hammer @CletusHammer
Never treat a woman of courage like anything other than an unbreakable prizefighter.
77d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
640
379
C. David Hammer @CletusHammer
No matter how low their behavior, she just smiles and walks through the gun smoke. Drives them fucking crazy.
63d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
331
191
C. David Hammer @CletusHammer
Just because you do not believe in something does not guarantee it will not jump up and bitch slap you one day.
19d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
227
148
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