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Check out the last 100 tweets of the user, with videos and, thumbnails of the pictures, and expanded url's embedded in the tweet.
@
ImageNameLocationTwitter sinceLinks
Dakota2011-09-24
@One_FineMess1,095 days
I'm a chick that digs chicks. I love dudes. I just don't fuck them.
FollowersFollowingTweetsListsFavorites
12,1932,38626,599895174,367
#Vodka Kisses @SteveBenson1
When you meet that someone who closes your eyes to everyone else, padlocks your heart while unlocking your soul, you know they're the one.
147d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
315
315
Varsity @JVarsityCaptain
Ever notice that the people who say "only God can judge me" are always really shitty people?
3d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
216
134
Leslie @LeslieInMpls
I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say "Hey look...that one is shaped like an idiot".
228d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
702
524
Clint Torres @BangMyBongo
I just hurdled a couch, a vase, and a 5 year old, then barely plugged in an Iphone with 1% battery remaining..... is the bomb squad hiring?
430d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
406
201
Sarah Cortez @Sarah__Cortez
The key to winning any argument is knowing when to take your clothes off.
6h Retweeted by One_FineMess               
48
23
Crunchy PeanutBrutha @Livsey1
You don't have to believe in a book to treat people right..
307d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
1,005
728
Boyd's Backyard @TheBoydP
"You're an accountant, of course you can do this plumbing project..."

~My wife
1d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
237
128
L O R I @LoriLuvsShoes
When she asks for an open relationship she's basically telling you "we're soul mates but I'm not over my slut phase yet"
1d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
231
137
No Duffers @noduffers
Since quitting drinking I've realized that what I thought were hangovers are, in fact, just mornings.
32d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
407
256
Bar-Lord @APANCHALYPSENOW
I love you too, shower curtain, but back the fuck up.
210d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
1,062
631
Fuckin Bob @gwatts77
Sometimes you wake up on the wrong side of the bed because you're in the wrong bed to begin with.
23h Retweeted by One_FineMess               
250
176
The Fucking Cat @TheFuckingCat
When you call me and call me and I completely ignore you and you call me an asshole. I love it.
6h Retweeted by One_FineMess               
45
22
tazz @noneofyours99
YES - it can always get worse, ALWAYS

No matter how low and dark, you CAN get buried with more shit
19h Retweeted by One_FineMess               
69
50
Ford Scott @truetootrue
It's always nice to have family visit . . .so you can Really appreciate having your house back when they leave.
6h Retweeted by One_FineMess               
5
2
Jameson Seven @JamesonN7
911: What's your emergency

Me: I answered, the question does this dress make me look fat, honestly

911: We're on our way Sir
6h Retweeted by One_FineMess               
39
21
Blair Loudly @BlairLoudly
Is it physically possible to be sad in rollerskates? Cause I think my cat's just being dramatic.
400d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
2,660
1,688
Angie @AngelinaC72
On the wall. In back of the cupboards. Amid the laughs and drink. We signed our names. In permanent marker.
It's still there.
You are not.
169d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
32
11
Chez McCorvey @CelebrityChez
I just apologized to my wife for something she did wrong. Marriage is fun.
580d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
1,375
750
Brother Ben @TheTalkingPipe
*sits down at table in 5-star restaurant

*pulls out package of Oreos

"Just the wine list my good man, and a straw. BENDY! Make it bendy."
4d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
389
232
El Deesco @TheOneTrueDisco
I'm divorced so I only get 70 characters on twitter which is so bullsh
804d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
2,907
1,987
Reverend Scott @Reverend_Scott
[Shop class]

Satan: Whatcha makin'?

God: Trust. Man can use it to form lasting bonds and friendships. What you making?

Satan: A bong.
95d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
1,188
716
MattZilla @mattZillaaaa
*takes a selfie in confessional
1d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
102
43
Terry F @daemonic3
What idiot called it "insomnia" and not "resisting a rest"?
306d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
2,675
2,117
Kim Kardashian's Toe @KimKardashsToe
If I were Spiderman doing that upside-down kiss, I'd drop down another 2ft. And that's why I should never be Spiderman.
6d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
75
35
Mare Bytes @marebytes
Funny and tortured ... always seem to come as a package deal
5d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
86
36
Mare Bytes @marebytes
Gave more thought to what tweet to pin to the top of my twitter page than I did to my first 2 marriages
4d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
52
18
Mare Bytes @marebytes
Sunday morning worhship at "Our Lady of Coffee in Bed"

Can I get an Amen?
1d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
36
11
Mare Bytes @marebytes
" I do matter " - size
1d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
88
38
Swishergirl @Swishergirl24
Make sure you do something good for yourself today. Just kidding, stare at your phone.
3d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
600
354
Babies Daddy @dshack8
Whoever came up with the phrase "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water" must've been dealing with a really dumb motherfucker.
3d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
37
16
Lurk @ Home Mom @LurkAtHomeMom
Being a friend means never having to say "Should I pour us another drink?"
4d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
59
37
Lurk @ Home Mom @LurkAtHomeMom
I have a degree in Economics, so basically I can provide you with a painfully detailed explanation about why I don't make any money.
6d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
70
24
Bandersnaaatch @Bandersnaaatch
Man at the dog park: Who's a good girl? WHOSAGOODGIRRRRLLL????

Me: *looks around* *slowly raises hand*
446d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
2,894
1,713
Olivia @aveuaskew
You say beauty mark.

I say moley, moley, moley, moley, moley, moley, moley, moley, moley, moley, moley, moley, moley, moley, moley, mol-
5d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
176
69
Wonder Kitten @Tw1tter_K1tten
Thinking of having kids? Today my 3 year old cried because he made a "beautiful poop" and I flushed it.
59d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
394
212
Simon Holland @simoncholland
Imagine having kids...

Wrong, you don't have time to imagine anymore.
4d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
136
86
Dakota @One_FineMess
I agree that everything happens for a reason.

It just seems that 99% of the time the reason is to piss me off.
1d               
76
55
Only Fast Eddie @OnlyFastEddie
Everything will kill you... so pick something fun.
144d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
1,610
1,580
The Average Guy @Beer4AGoodTime
They call you deviants, miscreants, reprobates, jaded, twisted and insane.

I call you my people.
2d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
109
72
Trey @treydayway
I don't have no DMs in my bio bc you should be able to tell I'm unpleasant from my tweets.
1d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
123
73
CatMan @CuddleYourCat
I don't need a relationship, I'm good enough at killing myself slowly.
1d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
11
7
Tony @Tmoney68
Avril Lavigne & Chad Kroeger are filing for divorce after just 14 months of marriage. Apparently, she just found out he's in Nickelback.
4d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
498
349
Josh @iwearaonesie
wife on facebook: homework with 9, he's doing so well!

wife to me: it took him 8 tries to spell cake. CAKE. grab some wine on your way home
13d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
397
211
Kat McSnatch @KatMcSnatch
How the fuck does paper beat rock?

I could fuck paper up with my bare hands.

This planet is bullshit.
221d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
1,071
696
TO33IE @thetobbie
A Pringles eating contest, but for drinking beer & with no judges, prizes or other contestants. Held on my couch...
11d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
43
9
TO33IE @thetobbie
My nephew's a hoarder. I blame early video games that teach him to hang on to everything he finds cuz it might save his life later on...
10d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
54
19
TO33IE @thetobbie
FIVE tipsy, loud black guys including myself just spent a few seconds in an elevator with ONE white woman. That's it. That's the joke...
9d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
33
5
TO33IE @thetobbie
Just saw a cloud shaped like a hat & got bummed thinking about the poor cloud man out there with no hat & why everyone thinks I'm weird...
9d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
39
8
TO33IE @thetobbie
They are filming a movie on my street. Probably going to strut around in my boxers until they hire me to go away...
9d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
39
5
TO33IE @thetobbie
Done everything on my bucket list for the year but kissed a dolphin, in case any of you guys is dating a dolphin & down for a threesome...
7d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
29
4
TO33IE @thetobbie
Yep, I even learned to spell Arnold's surname so I don't say Swaggerdagger anymore...
7d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
40
10
TO33IE @thetobbie
There's something about when a woman uses my last name as a nickname that really just gets me where I live...
3d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
21
1
Dakota @One_FineMess
Thank you @thetobbie for the ToTD pick. I’m humored that a lesbian is receiving trophies for a blowjob tweet. Twitter rocks.

#FF @thetobbie
1d               
7
MISS ALANEOUS @TeriBussart
No thanks, "Buy Followers!" account, I save all of my bad purchasing decisions, for the Taco Bell Drive Thru.
5d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
32
10
MISS ALANEOUS @TeriBussart
These days, I imagine my "O" face, looks alot like my, "Yay, pork chops are on sale at Safeway," face.
3d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
43
16
Wonder Kitten @Tw1tter_K1tten
Oh! A fancy pregnancy announcement? Congrats on accomplishing the easiest part of being a parent. Go you...having the sex. Well done.
5d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
224
94
K in VT @karlainvt
Well, well, well... if it isn't the asshole that pointed out my last typo.
5d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
173
97
Amy K @errdayhustlah
Save money on a lifetime of flowers, and buy me a tattoo instead.
17d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
153
88
Clumsy Ninja @PowKaPowBoom
I like when people say, "You wouldn't understand anyway" like I was even listening in the first place.
32d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
150
100
Dakota @One_FineMess
There was only one set of footprints in the sand because they were Siamese twins.
2d               
19
2
StewyDaB @StewyDaB
Boss: Where have you been? I've been looking all over for you.

Me: Taking a massive watery shit.

B: ...

M: ...

B: Let's call it a day.
6d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
6
2
Inappropriate Charm @LackOfShame
OMG! Get your fucking hands off me! We're in public, you weirdo!

- My balls
7d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
216
113
Josh @iwearaonesie
*molests the wall trying to find the light switch*
40d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
382
220
StewyDaB @StewyDaB
The letter 'U' is just just the letters 'L' and 'J' fused together.

I don't think I needed those last 3 cups of coffee.
153d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
28
16
StewyDaB @StewyDaB
Yeah...
Yeah...
That's awesome...
Yeah...
Yeah...
That's crazy...

-My contribution to just about every conversation
164d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
25
11
Mythic Picnic @MythicPicnic
Of course my wife doesn't trust me, she was married to someone else when we met.
4d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
58
26
Dakota @One_FineMess
Whenever I see a fat Asian I can’t help but think they had to work really hard at that.
2d               
27
6
Clearly Unwell @ClearlyUnwell
Women don’t like being told what to do unless they’re naked.
806d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
2,067
1,616
Liana Maeby @lianamaeby
My dog and I had a very successful time at couple's therapy I mean obedience school today.
2d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
57
18
protolalia @protolalia
I just got scolded for leaving an empty pet carrier in my hot car! People like her are the reason I stash my cat in the trunk while I shop.
2d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
92
34
Drunk n Deranged @Jaywoo74
If they made an "I don't fucking care" care bear that's the one I'd be.
35d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
259
170
MustardStain @Whitnuts
I would be a Justin Timberlake fan if I liked dudes who sound like their balls are the size of BB pellets.
33d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
33
11
Tony P. @Tbone7219
My girlfriend needs to start putting her cell phone and keys right next to all the things I've done wrong that she will never forget.
769d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
2,403
1,538
Sassafrantz @Sassafrantz
Jesus take the wheel and this breathalyzer for me.
18d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
281
113
Jocelyn Plums @FilthyRichmond
I wouldn't normally change a diaper on a restaurant table, but Grandpa was way overdue.
8d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
252
98
Kevin is that bag @Douchekevin
No one texts faster than a pissed off woman.
608d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
4,014
3,337
Only Fast Eddie @OnlyFastEddie
I'm only slightly damaged... let's finish the job.
6d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
149
93
Cabo @shot_of_cabo
What she said: I feel like I'm on top of the world.
What I heard: I like it on top.
3d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
159
93
The Wizard of Ron © @WizardOfRon
The most beautiful woman in the world is the one who lights up the darkest corners of your mind with her smile.
5d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
33
18
Kiss Me Kate @KatieBurnett
I wanna go back to the days when my biggest anxiety was stopping the cassette tape before the dj started speaking when recording the top 10
144d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
587
310
Smug Lemur @Smug_Lemur
I don't like how alcohol has direct access to the part of me that thinks I should talk to people and trim my own hair.
3d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
241
120
slaughthie @slaughthie
I'm a simple girl, all I really want is a puppy and a lamb and some ducks and an alpaca and some horsies and like three million dollars.
4d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
417
199
Rusty @PeaceInTruth1
I'm not saying I have ocd but I just stopped my microwave on an even number and I'm pretty sure the world is going to end.
35d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
173
63
Rusty @PeaceInTruth1
*Brain is at 5%* *Please connect charger*
33d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
184
86
Rusty @PeaceInTruth1
Fuck millipedes and every one of their fucking legs.
29d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
143
51
Rusty @PeaceInTruth1
I'm getting too old for this shit.

~Me about everything
28d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
164
88
Rusty @PeaceInTruth1
I'm not a doomsday prepper but I do makes sure there's enough toilet paper before I sit down.
26d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
200
82
Rusty @PeaceInTruth1
This is bullshit. ~The first words I ever spoke.
26d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
159
66
Rusty @PeaceInTruth1
*gets lost walking down memory lane*
23d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
188
123
Rusty @PeaceInTruth1
I'm not saying I'm impatient but when I was born I told the doctor to get the fuck out of my way.
11d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
81
22
Rusty @PeaceInTruth1
If twitter doesn't make you smile you're doing it wrong.
5d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
167
110
THE Goddess @eTHEgoddess
When your life is better online than off, it's time to log off and fix your shit.

Duh.
5d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
58
19
THE Goddess @eTHEgoddess
I'm sorry for being presumptuous.

I just assumed anyone wearing that much glitter knew how to work a pole.
3d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
38
11
THE Goddess @eTHEgoddess
It's surprisingly difficult to get people to fuck off.
3d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
92
48
Julz Millar @DONTJIMMYMEJULZ
"He's a cunt ...and so's he ...she's a massive cunt, oh and that guy over there ...cunt." ~ Me, showing the new guy around the office.
918d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
773
296
KungFuChop @SkullfuckT
My Facebook is just a bunch of people I hate that descend from the same blood line.
5d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
73
44
hat trick @dogwillhunt22
She got white girl wasted. And white girl pregnant.
3d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
36
15
Dakota @One_FineMess
F: Have you ever been with a man?

Me: The closest I’ve ever been to a dick was at my conception.
3d               
26
3
Rock @TheMichaelRock
I'm convinced that my grandma has had the same tissue in her pocket since 1964.
4d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
704
291
Dumpster Muffin® @DebraMuffin
To anyone that needs the loud buzzer sound that signals the coffee's done brewing bc you aren't standing right there waiting, I salute you.
3d Retweeted by One_FineMess               
41
17
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