Not a problem until they're all filled with pee a la Howard Hughes
I once saw two kids (one in flag print tank) talk about if Patrick Bateman or Gordon Gekko was more bro ~horrifying
Science needs to find a way to sterilize people who take away all the wrong lessons from movies like American Psycho or Wall Street
Stencil of Jesus in a rage, throwing market sellers out of a holy Temple. But look again: the sellers are all David Cameron
Stencil of Joseph & Mary handing frankincense and myrrh in to a charity shop. They kept the gold, right?
Stencil of Simon Cowell behind the X Factor judges desk, watching his girlfriend give birth to his son
The One Where Rachel and Ross Seriously Consider Abortion
Always gotta be suspicious of white men in vests
people with umbrellas think that they're so cool, but really they're just dry
Still not 100% sold that dinosaurs existed
Have people used the phrase "Hashtivist" yet cuz if not I wanna trademark it and sell T-shirts
Daddy allegedly snacks on marijuana and kills his wife! Is ?
If there was justice human Ken Doll and human Barbie would be in love instead there is no god and they hate each other
Growing up is realizing Sean Penn is a piece of shit and Tina Fey is highly lame
At 19, the only goal I've accomplished is never being friends with anyone who enjoys casually wearing flag prints
When you're describing an acquaintance, how many adjectives do you need to list before you casually slip race in there?
Fun Fact: was actually the initial name for our cat
Whenever I walk by a child in first class, I shed a tear for the human being it could have become rather than the monster it is sure to be.
"How to use 'duff' in a sentence unsurprisingly an unfruitful Google search
Imma just hand a business card and say... We Made It
Chinamen is the laziest racial slur
IDENTICAL TWINS ARE SOME DEVIL SHIT AND WE AS A SOCIETY NEED TO OSTRACISE THEM APPROPRIATELY
Announcement: Slowly transitioning my ~aesthetic~ from unemployed fisherman to RIck Rubin
Really glad I wasn't alive in 1975 bc my fragile heart wouldn't have been able to take Peter Gabriel leaving Genesis
Say what you want about Obama but my 3rd amendment rights have never been stronger
If your team makes the final 4 and you don't riot is there even a point
Icona Pop will delete that insta so here is a screenshot of them pretending Ty $ is their homie when its Waka Flocka
If I'm not doing this in 10 years my 20's have been wasted
this is only a problem in connecticut i think
"If I suggest we go to a restaurant and it turns out to be bad will people dislike me" was a surprisingly unfruitful google search
Less chubby teens in TDE sweatshirts (I can say that cuz I'm almost 20)
Every morning after breakfast we will bring it in and Say "go spurs".
Little Timmy says"dad , what's a spur" dad says "it's a team son"
When I have ten kids , I will name them all Spurs players name. Even the girls. We will be a family
If you're a grown man who drinks 3 cups of milk every day you probably have numerous skeletons in your closet
Can't trust anyone who gets their daily recommended dose of dairy...
if you ever feel lazy remember that a writer for Suits got away with the line "you may have went to Harvard but we went to Wharton"
Nothing like a tall glass of orange juice to start a productive day of chasing the Yakub back into the cave
Illuminati trying to distract us from the missing plane by releasing Jay Electronica songs
Million Dollar Idea: One of those lame "New Phone Need Numbers" Groups but you sneak ask for their social security number instead
It's a dating app where you're matched up by your Flappy Bird score
Golden Grahams and Cinnamon Toast Crunch are the same thing
It just makes me so happy that someday I'll get to tell a small child who Ron Arrest is/show him the Malice in the Palace vid
"Artest is in the stands" >>> "The band is on the field"
Lotta yall not gettin the full experience of Rick Ross new album cuz you not hearin it on 250 ft yacht speakers
"Andre Drummond leads the league in offensive rebounds, but can he rebound from Jennette Mccurdy?"- If I was a Sportswriter
Watching Lebron play right now inspires me to try and eat the rest of this pizza
A really high end denim line for toddlers
Obligatory "If I won an Oscar everyone would have to respect me. My obituary would read Oscar-winner, instead of children's soccer heckler"
If there is a Lord of the Flies remake. I want in.
jk have no right to talk watched 3 eps of House today
This tweet is so basic I almost gagged
idk I've been watching a lot of
House/ subverting authority lately
They say you are what you eat but I don't remember eating a small child
They say you are what you eat but I don't remember eating a bag of Doritos, 9 chicken nuggets, and an Oreo sleeve
They say you are what you eat but I don't remember eating a sickly indian
I am in a very serious conversation about this popular(very popular) cracker
Do you eat/buy/love Triscuits?? When was the last time you had a triscuit? How did you eat it?
That was via . I've never felt so betrayed by TV before. This is probably how Job felt after God killed his children.
"House of Cards is really designed to be binge-watched, consumed so quickly there is no time to taste all the garbage we are guzzling down."
just waiting on some girl to dump me so I can angrily/drunkenly blog about her, resulting in me creating a billion dollar tech company
I seriously considered starting a fan tumblr dedicated to Hitchcock and Scully, but True Detective may be the GOAT
"Democracy is Overrated" - Frank "Closet Sociopath" Underwood (also season 2 is supposed to be even more ridic)
YOU'RE A LIAR IF YOU SAY YOU WATCHED K SPACEY GO DOWN ON KATE MARA WITH A STRAIGHT FACE
Case in point: the episode where they randomly allude to Frank Underwood being gay
If you ever watch a "House of Cards" ep more than once it becomes so earnest/ridiculous you have to laugh
Can't wait till I'm 50 and release a relevant remix of the one hit song I had 22 years ago VIDEO
Can't wait till I'm 40 and can write inane articles about why the next generation is the worst!
are you on this Tru Detective???
Penis Shaped Buildings of New York > HONY
Pigeons That Tind of Look Like President Garfield of New York > HONY
Humans of New York is ok but the humans are probably the lamest part of NY
Will never forgive the Winter Olympics for giving Apolo Ohno a national platform
Jay-Z: "Babe, please leave the part out where I come too fast on your dress in the limo. It's embarrassing." 'Yonce: "No."
Living With Termites: The Anurag Chinepalli Story
Most of my time is spent thinking of prospective autobiography titles
if he sees his shadow:drink. If he doesn't: drink. If comes out of his hole: drink. If he doesn't: drink.
This is exactly 30 years too late but I hate you Larry Bird
The next great challenge for Americans is figuring out how to turn Groundhog's Day into a drinking holiday
Mr.Owl, how much cocaine does it take for a movie exec to think a "Lego Movie" would be a good idea?
Maybe if Kanye or Jay Z or Kendrick or Drake sold their CDs at Starbucks they would have won the Grammy for best rap album.
Rappers either die while white people are still scared of them, or live long enough to host the Grammy's.
Missed the Woody Allen tribute - did they put the part where a woman publicly confirmed he molested her at age 7 before or after Annie Hall?
App Idea: What Would I Look Like As A 7-footer
WHO'S OUT THERE WATCHING SURVIVOR IN 2014!!??
IDK IF I JUST LOOK AWFUL OR IF THIS IS SOME NEXT LEVEL RACISM
SOME 16 YEAR OLD JUST WALKED INTO THE POST OFFICE, LOOKED AT ME AND THE INDIAN CLERK, AND ASKED ME "IF YOU GUYS HAD ANY TAPE"
Most basic thing ever said on the internet RT : U know what's better than sleep red bull and not sleep is
Where can I find a definitive ranking of Seal's albums???
My life's greatest accomplishment thus far has been never having a friend named "Hank"
Wildcat is easily the laziest animal name
Thought of the pun "Molly Cyrus" and cringed at how late into the game I came up with it
Pls make my dream of seeing Ty$ come true