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@
ImageNameLocationTwitter sinceLinks
Seth MacFarlaneLos Angeles2009-01-13
@SethMacFarlane2,109 days
The Official Twitter Page of Seth MacFarlane - A Million Ways to Die in the West available on blu-ray soon!
FollowersFollowingTweetsListsFavorites
6,099,7382523,96531,1430
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Hasselhoff in #Ted2 today Hoffin' it up
2h               
1,182
381
Former Child @FormerChild
@SethMacFarlane congrats Cherry Chevapantpshxodnalkabsunk
3h in reply to SethMacFarlaneRetweeted by SethMacFarlane               
308
49
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Congrats to the crew of "American Dad!" for being the most watched show on cable for the night w/ its season premiere on TBS!
3h               
1,702
298
Spencer Porter @porters
You're right, moral arbiters. We shouldn't comment on the looks of someone on a red carpet who is literally posing for photographers.
1d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
597
307
Spencer Porter @porters
There are only two syllables in "Hello," office workers. Doesn't have to be a whole production.
2d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
405
180
Mike Scully @scullymike
How did great TV shows ever get made without the input of the internet?
2d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
542
202
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
If you put a knife to my throat I could not tell you what "Pinterest" is.
2d               
3,028
1,625
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
The new season of American Dad premieres tonight on TBS!
2d               
2,033
609
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
"Unfollowed." Yeah, nobody cares.
2d               
3,890
1,949
Mark Leggett @markleggett
I hope someone has a pair of jeans tattooed onto their legs. I hope there's a person on this planet who's fucked up their life in that way.
2d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,290
714
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
I don't care for Carl's Jr.'s new slogan "Eat this right now, you goddamn spineless piece of shit."
2d               
2,384
879
Justin Shanes @justinshanes
Every group of friends needs the person willing to break the post-movie silence with a "Whadja think?" That person's a loser, but necessary.
3d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,229
771
Brian Scully @BrianRScully
I think the only reason I wanted to be an astronaut in the 1960's was because there are no bees in space.
3d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
726
258
Chris Regan @ChrisRRegan
That's enough with the Marilyn Monroe, people.
3d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
796
451
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Climate change is currently a far greater threat to us than Ebola. Let's be productive and shit our pants about that instead. Go on. Shit.
3d               
6,046
5,039
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Will be interesting to see if Michigan joins Arizona, Texas, and Virginia in the criminally transparent practice of banning Teslas. #idiocy
3d               
1,630
1,240
Julius Sharpe @juliussharpe
Whatever people who own bird stores are hoping will happen is probably not going to happen.
4d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
740
344
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Yes mixologist, I'd much rather wait an extra ten minutes to get drunk while I watch you pretend this is Benihana.
4d               
2,654
1,124
Julius Sharpe @juliussharpe
"Pears: We're either way too hard or completely rotten. Brought to you by pears, the fuck you fruit."
5d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
2,322
1,524
Mark Leggett @markleggett
The only thing that can stop Ebola is a black and white video of celebrities looking at the camera and solemnly saying "Stop Ebola".
5d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
2,683
2,357
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
RT @CelebrityOxford: @SethMacFarlane Super important question: where do you stand on the use of the Oxford Comma? // Staunchly pro.
5d               
571
212
The Onion @TheOnion
"This is the message that will eventually reach an estimated 200 billion stars." onion.com/ZGsd2J pic.twitter.com/vP0hqzD6W8
6d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
726
609
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
John Slattery was brilliant as usual today in #Ted2
6d               
783
133
Burnt Bleghk @brentalfloss
@SethMacFarlane
"Some Day-quil, captain?"
"Doo ehtt."
7d in reply to SethMacFarlaneRetweeted by SethMacFarlane               
119
22
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Congratulations to my uber-talented pal @ActuallyNPH on hosting the Oscars! They could not have made a better choice, except Mickey Rourke.
7d               
1,415
468
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Thank you, head & chest cold. I sound like Kate Mulgrew.
7d               
958
211
Bill Dixon @BillDixonish
Buzzfeed is the Florida of the internet.
8d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,268
797
The Onion @TheOnion
[American Voices] Flight Attendants Sue FAA To Reinstate Cell Phone Ban onion.com/1vdtElD #WhatDoYouThink?
7d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
65
42
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Occasionally the fluff media gets it right. Let science do science, and stay out of its way. m.huffpost.com/us/entry/59896…
7d               
461
307
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Hey Texas, stop beating around the bush and say what you really mean: All voters should be required to name the entire cast of "Friends."
7d               
1,926
908
Gary Janetti @GaryJanetti
Gays should be exempt from Ebola since we got stuck with the other thing.
8d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,782
912
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
RT @BekaWrites: For the record, @SethMacFarlane : My husband and I have now watched #AMillionWays 6 times. // It strengthens marital bonds.
8d               
406
46
Julius Sharpe @juliussharpe
Amazon is opening its first physical store. It's everything you love about their website, without all the annoying convenience.
9d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,481
1,010
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Thanks to the awesome @HaysbertDennis for a great day of filming on Ted 2!
9d               
679
182
brian kiley @kileynoodles
My Dad would come home from work and no matter how tired he was he’d take me to the park and hit balls to me for an hour. He loved golf.
9d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,080
784
Chris Regan @ChrisRRegan
The Nina, Pinta & Santa Maria were, by far, the most tastefully-named boats ever owned by an Italian guy in his 40s.
9d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,058
640
Chelsea Peretti @ChelseaVPeretti
wow its crazy its like ur family is the best people and everyone else garbage wow
9d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
517
180
Knocker @Knocker_
Saw the Sikh Meg Griffin at Heathrow Airport. @SethMacFarlane pic.twitter.com/VrCNHiyPwJ
9d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
954
397
timothy mildrich @mctimmy83
@SethMacFarlane there must always be a stark in old stump
11d in reply to SethMacFarlaneRetweeted by SethMacFarlane               
95
22
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
RT@jarm_anski:@SethMacFarlane please tell me the slip during the glass bottle shooting scene was a happy accident #millionwaystodie /Fakery.
10d               
194
42
Damien Fahey @DamienFahey
I scrolled past "Malala Wins Nobel Peace Prize" to click on "Horse Walks Into Police Station". I'm Damien Fahey and I'm part of the problem.
12d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
3,773
1,923
Oui Oui Jockamo @StudioCityCat
I wish I had even half the balls of a crow standing in the road.
12d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
795
437
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
RT @Julie90513: Why did Peter have to explain a Joe pesci joke, but not a love boat reference? // Everyone knows The Boat.
12d               
351
58
Justin Shanes @justinshanes
Just gonna keep blindly submitting "Well, I did it again, Martha" to the New Yorker caption contest until it makes sense and I win.
12d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,309
290
Julius Sharpe @juliussharpe
Food trucks: Because the problem with most grilled cheese sandwiches is you don't spend 20 minutes breathing exhaust.
12d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
690
376
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
I have reached the degree of exhaustion where I pray for the elevator to stall so I can curl up and take a nap.
12d               
2,345
994
David Goodman @DavidAGoodman
The Internet is now a '70's movie theater in a bad neighborhood where people shout angry insults in the dark while watching porn.
12d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,388
1,040
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
I wonder if this means "Dads" is coming back. pic.twitter.com/2T5bIfO7uU
12d               
1,367
386
Brian Scully @BrianRScully
Hey, Boeing, what's with the TV commercial?... How many of us do you think are in the market for a 787?
12d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
923
529
The Onion @TheOnion
Congress Waiting Until After Midterms To Address Nationwide Plague Of Hornets onion.com/1vPR5QW
12d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
272
218
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
pic.twitter.com/UJtA2xTmOA
12d               
5,193
4,789
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Jan Hooks still stands out as one of the funniest cast members in SNL history. Very sorry to read about her passing.
13d               
1,595
614
Julius Sharpe @juliussharpe
The song "Anything You Can Do" wouldn't work with me, because I'd just agree with the other person. "You're right, I suck."
13d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
551
370
John Viener @mygiveup
I've consumed a swimming pool of soy sauce in my life and I still don't really know what it is.
13d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,134
547
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Well this is a fucking relief. youtu.be/zJmiYNFa1w4
13d               
885
346
Lisa Groeger @lisa_groeger
@SethMacFarlane Mr. Rogers sang a song "u can never go down the drain" u must have missed that episode. Helped me a lot.
14d in reply to SethMacFarlaneRetweeted by SethMacFarlane               
177
24
Mark Leggett @markleggett
Yosemite Sam would use the N-word.
14d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
912
538
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
It's amazing I made it out of childhood given that I was once afraid to go in the pool because I thought the drain would get me.
14d               
2,456
811
Julius Sharpe @juliussharpe
I wonder if there's a bird so sexy that I would go, "Wow, that's a sexy bird!" Hopefully I'll never find out.
14d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
532
211
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
There's no way to eat a fig without looking like an asshole.
14d               
1,818
836
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Run up to a stranger on the street and frantically ask what the date is. When they tell you, say "No, the YEAR, dammit, the YEAR!"
14d               
4,715
3,643
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
RT @48morelock: seth don't drink and horse lol. Such a great movie pic.twitter.com/2re89nhRr4 // Miiiight have been some actual whiskey here
14d               
817
186
Jessica Tunnell @mestizaxjt
@SethMacFarlane The bf left this for me this morning. This is romance. pic.twitter.com/PlsrydrclY
15d in reply to SethMacFarlaneRetweeted by SethMacFarlane               
598
110
Mark Leggett @markleggett
To help him with the new sound he's been looking for, Chris Martin's cousin calls him and holds the phone up to the previous Coldplay album.
15d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
912
604
Brian Scully @BrianRScully
Real cats must love Halloween because they have like ten times as many slutty cats to choose from.
16d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
940
730
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
RT @murrahnoble: @SethMacFarlane pic.twitter.com/bIZMWhPKWm // Hell, why not.
16d               
383
138
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Check out my friend John Wilson's new album "Cole Porter in Hollywood" available on iTunes and Amazon! #TheJohnWilsonOrchestra
16d               
229
62
Julius Sharpe @juliussharpe
I live in such a hipster neighborhood that I get pissed when there's a line at the blacksmith.
16d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,037
551
Mark Leggett @markleggett
Tomorrow is International "Cook a Steak and Then Throw It to a Seagull" Day. Get involved. Don't question it.
16d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,085
1,103
The Onion @TheOnion
This Week's Top Story: Obama Currently Being Chased In Background Of Secret Service Hearing onion.com/1x7LrcX pic.twitter.com/ZAXoizajVr
17d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
983
958
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Gosh internet, you look mad. Is everything okay?
17d               
1,718
701
Mark Leggett @markleggett
FUN TRICK OR TREAT COSTUME IDEA FOR TEXANS: A person with a cough, and then an hour later, a panicked doctor in a hazmat suit.
19d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,001
753
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
The first guy ever to say "Jiminy Christmas" must have caused quite a stir.
17d               
1,362
479
Brian Scully @BrianRScully
I can't imagine Walter Cronkite asking us to "read my tweets", but yeah, sure, I'll pretend Anderson Cooper is a real reporter if you will.
17d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
610
322
Spencer Porter @porters
While clothes shopping, I want an attractive woman to look at me as if to say "Ew. You're buying the wrong thing." pic.twitter.com/naD7AByZaa
18d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
945
521
Kevin Seccia @kevinseccia
Just saw a flower that was ridiculous even by flower standards. So dumb. Grow some balls.
18d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
545
245
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Ah the progressive educational programming I was raised on. They even got a Jewish guy at the end. youtu.be/AUHETDR4N7A
18d               
371
113
John Viener @mygiveup
Girl: I hate my asshole boyfriend.
Guy: Why don't you break up with him?
Girl: Fuck you. I love him.
18d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
2,265
1,601
JD1N @J_D_1_N
@SethMacFarlane Why is Quagmire promoting Scary Movie 5? pic.twitter.com/YVQInOHX4D
19d in reply to SethMacFarlaneRetweeted by SethMacFarlane               
2,608
1,243
Kevin Seccia @kevinseccia
Really looking forward to a day when enabling awful reality show monsters isn't a "hilarious" guilty pleasure.
19d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
535
367
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
RT @Cainsey86: @SethMacFarlane pic.twitter.com/LWd7gQCArH // Why, it's everyone's favorite rascal, Wagmure!
19d               
759
235
Chris Regan @ChrisRRegan
Angry Birds lays off 16% of staff. Fearing reprisal, the CEO is tucked away in lower middle of the office building & very hard to get to.
19d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,188
1,032
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Thanks to our fantastic Boston crew for busting your asses and doing stellar work on Ted 2!
20d               
1,607
391
Chelsea Peretti @ChelseaVPeretti
WHOS DEAD/A GHOST ON HERE
20d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
414
166
Mark Leggett @markleggett
Imagine a racist. White, weren't they? Looks like you're the racist now, you racist cracker.
20d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
2,738
2,320
David Goodman @DavidAGoodman
TV cops just can't get a good cup of office coffee.
20d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
446
172
Liana Maeby @lianamaeby
I bet it just kills the inventor of the "Coexist" sticker that a swastika would make the perfect X.
20d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,797
930
Damien Fahey @DamienFahey
Relationships are now just one person telling the other person to get off their phone.
22d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
2,874
2,142
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
"Oh, uhhhh-- you misheard me. I said I'm against wax beans." --the anti-vaccine kooks when the Ebola vaccine becomes available
20d               
2,482
2,398
The Onion @TheOnion
Man Having A Great Time Will Soon Have To Apologize To Everyone onion.com/1uCuoSk pic.twitter.com/EXcld7B38t
20d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
700
562
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
RT@ThatFMDude: @SethMacFarlane Will 70yo Seth MacFarlane still be tweeting? // Only if Emperor Glorp allows it. I will want to please Glorp.
21d               
372
88
Mark Leggett @markleggett
Another day trapped in the Phantom Zone… What do you guys wanna do? Feel like slapping on the glass and silently screaming into space again?
24d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
392
217
Josh Comers @joshcomers
The news is 90% hoaxes and 10% telling us which news story is a hoax.
28d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
677
491
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Ohhh, you're A BOWLER. You scared the shit outta me, man-with-a-Boston-accent.
21d               
1,892
1,075
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
RT @TheOnion: Top 10 Must-Watch TV Shows This Fall onion.com/YU1Aqg pic.twitter.com/Xm9TLH4Nrp // Number 8. Take note, networks.
21d               
205
49
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Wow, 6 million followers... I guess now there's no sneaking outta this Twitter thing.
21d               
2,600
369
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
It's finally here! You can get my Xmas album #HolidayForSwing now on @iTunesMusic: smarturl.it/SethHolidayFor…
22d               
820
295
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
"Well actually Katniss, we don't want to label anyone a 'winner' or a 'loser.' Now, everyone line up for your participation trophies."
22d               
3,075
1,583
Kevin Seccia @kevinseccia
R.I.P. the phrase "I don't have an opinion on it."

Born 1550 - Died 2014
23d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,779
1,511
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Hey everyone-- thanks for making the Family Guy/Simpsons crossover the top-rated show of the night!
23d               
4,244
996
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