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@
ImageNameLocationTwitter sinceLinks
Seth MacFarlaneLos Angeles2009-01-13
@SethMacFarlane2,078 days
The Official Twitter Page of Seth MacFarlane - A Million Ways to Die in the West available on blu-ray soon!
FollowersFollowingTweetsListsFavorites
5,959,4772453,83831,0590
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Just finished The Young Lions. Not enough pie fights.
6h               
369
56
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
RIP Polly Bergen-- loved her as Rhoda Henry. #TheWindsOfWar
23h               
450
105
Gary Janetti @GaryJanetti
Scotland decides to stay with the UK after UK promises to clean up after itself and take Scotland out to dinner once a week.
1d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,569
1,247
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
America is not doing enough to promote trenchfoot awareness.
1d               
935
393
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
RT@BuzzFeed: Which 'Titanic' character would play you in a movie about the top 28 Disney princesses ah fuck it I'm gonna drink this Windex.
1d               
1,411
713
Chris Regan @ChrisRRegan
Dirtbag in sleeveless shirt, to camera, telling you what you just saw-- 90% of all reality TV.
1d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
673
438
Brian Scully @BrianRScully
If there's any justice in reincarnation, then a cat will be forced to come back as a person who has a cat.
1d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,387
1,294
Gary Janetti @GaryJanetti
I would go out to a club if I could bring my couch and TV.
2d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,732
1,487
Mark Leggett @markleggett
Looking after my geckos is a full-time job. They were rescues, and as such, they have quite a lot of issues we need to work through.
2d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
477
159
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Fun day of John/Ted hangin'-on-the-sofa-scenes. Like old times.
2d               
1,049
247
patrick warburton @paddywarbucks
@curtisstigers @SethMacFarlane everything looks cool, but something happened. Bears pressing charges. @#ted2 pic.twitter.com/NhnMcDY5pA
3d in reply to curtisstigersRetweeted by SethMacFarlane               
312
92
Kevin Seccia @kevinseccia
A New York Times writer used the word "sexier" to reference iPhone 6 features and wasn't immediately fired for some reason.
5d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,122
671
Sir Twats XIX @SirTwatsALot19
@SethMacFarlane Does this make the joke funnier or is it just sad? pic.twitter.com/2R5udknVvk
5d in reply to SethMacFarlaneRetweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,139
258
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Hilarious work in Ted 2 today by @paddywarbucks and @akaWorf!
5d               
1,147
255
Vanessa Ramos @thatRamosgirl
If I didn't see the Miss America pageant, will I still be able to understand every contestant's relationship with Christ?
6d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
840
340
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Thanks for the #MillionWays love you guys are sending on here! With critics no longer hollering in ur ears, good to hear you're digging it!
6d               
1,203
207
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
pic.twitter.com/qwTgLzTOrM
7d               
7,801
7,331
Justin Shanes @justinshanes
"Follow the yellow brick road!"
"Oh. So like, the only road here?"
"Look, just let us have this."
7d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,670
839
Julius Sharpe @juliussharpe
Has a promo of sitcom characters dancing ever made anyone watch anything?
7d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
608
212
Brian Scully @BrianRScully
In a 1930's movie where everyone is wearing tuxedos and top hats, the drunk guy is the one wearing his top hat at a rakish angle.
7d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
663
278
Kevin Seccia @kevinseccia
Photos of people doing yoga are like the "Dad! Dad, watch how high I can jump!" of adulthood.
7d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,025
676
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
RT @lilkimff: fun photos with our pal seth macfarlane✌️ @ Improv Asylum instagram.com/p/s7jSTbwYuD/ // It's always exciting to meet a Senator.
7d               
145
34
John Viener @mygiveup
Why don't they teach kids to communicate so we're not all awkward assholes when we grow up?
7d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
2,227
1,548
Curtis Stigers @curtisstigers
@Wildaboutmusic @SethMacFarlane
Apparently I'm doing a gig with this guy. I wonder what instrument he plays. pic.twitter.com/HhDyEEOM6x
7d in reply to curtisstigersRetweeted by SethMacFarlane               
245
50
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Dear men: No more flip flops.
8d               
6,107
4,493
Damien Fahey @DamienFahey
"Welcome to the NFL. Just stand against that height chart and we'll take your picture."
9d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,782
1,634
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
RT @WayOfTheSword: @SethMacFarlane Can't wait to hear the voice he comes up with for the asteroid. // Dennis Haysbert will voice it.
9d               
226
49
Alec Sulkin @thesulk
Calling my dad is like reaching into the Flash Gordon stump.
13d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
430
180
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
@neiltyson Coincidentally, my grade school nickname was 70713.
9d in reply to neiltyson               
379
72
Neil deGrasse Tyson @neiltyson
How geeky are you? Wanna see @SethMacFarlane’s orbital elements? They’re here, with full citation: 1.usa.gov/WU4vhP
9d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
734
293
Neil deGrasse Tyson @neiltyson
Asteroid “70713 @SethMacFarlane” orbits the Sun between Mars & Jupiter. I double checked: no chance of it hitting Earth.
9d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,146
480
Neil deGrasse Tyson @neiltyson
Join me in congratulating @SethMacFarlane for asteroid 1999UL46 being officially renamed “70713 SethMacFarlane” in his honor.
9d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
3,027
1,631
Mark Leggett @markleggett
Congratulations on being the kind of person who corrects the grammar of others, unsolicited. You're the Microsoft Word Paperclip.
9d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
2,095
1,873
Chris Regan @ChrisRRegan
Sarah Palin & family involved in brawl at snowmobile race party, giving knuckles brief respite from "drag" setting.
9d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
565
340
Kevin Seccia @kevinseccia
Try to be less creepy, everyone.
10d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
857
618
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
PETA, get on this. youtu.be/sgkYHhG18uc
10d               
490
158
The Onion @TheOnion
Person Standing Far Away From Burial Must Have Deep, Dark Secret About Deceased onion.com/1svlcwM pic.twitter.com/yu82I0CPh0
10d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,065
683
Mark Leggett @markleggett
Andrew Wridgeley: "I remember, George came up with the 'go-go' part..."
George Michael: "Yeah, but then you pitched 'yo-yo'. So perfect..."
10d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
315
161
Julius Sharpe @juliussharpe
Anyone over 35 who has any energy at all is clearly on drugs.
11d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
2,554
1,664
Audrey Sopata @audrey_sopata
@Whizzpast: Family bicycle (baby riding in the back), c. 1910 pic.twitter.com/bZpPzNBsyZ@SethMacFarlane this makes it more practical
11d in reply to WhizzpastRetweeted by SethMacFarlane               
184
82
Julius Sharpe @juliussharpe
I've wasted a lot of time, but at least I'm not "liking" fiber on Facebook. pic.twitter.com/uXzfGsmBwp
11d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
791
476
Spencer Porter @porters
Twitter:
"I'm outraged!"
"Then why don't you do something about it?"
"I am doing something! I'm being outraged!"
11d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,325
1,065
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
...and yes, it's the unrated version.
11d               
868
122
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
A Million Ways to Die in the West is now available on iTunes!
11d               
1,407
272
Kevin Seccia @kevinseccia
Just stopped and rewound a movie to get a better look at a cheeseburger a guy was eating.
11d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,159
399
The Onion @TheOnion
Nation’s Huggers Announce Plans For You To Get Over Here onion.com/1qih5V6 pic.twitter.com/lFDCvs7Jpk
11d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
946
994
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
The excitement and anticipation I feel at the thought of my post-lunch coffee is way too intense for someone under 50.
11d               
2,391
1,101
Brian Scully @BrianRScully
Hey, Apple, calm the fuck down... it's a wrist watch, not a flying car.
12d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
2,834
2,657
Mark Leggett @markleggett
WACKY FACT: The sky in Sarajevo is around 5 ft. off the ground. pic.twitter.com/GMUNG6h2GH
12d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
820
517
Brian Scully @BrianRScully
I understand how medicine cures diseases and how we landed a man on the moon... But I still don't understand how soap gets things clean.
11d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,041
798
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
"A Haunting" should just be called "Look At These Batshit People We Found".
13d               
2,082
829
Julius Sharpe @juliussharpe
Every time I turn on CNN, it's a concerned-looking woman talking to a bald guy.
15d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,848
921
Jen Statsky @jenstatsky
If I ever find myself wearing a bathing suit with high heels I will know I made some serious wrong turns in my life.
15d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,918
971
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
No, Mio Water Enhancer. No.
15d               
1,661
545
Alec Sulkin @thesulk
This is crazy, this is crazy... pic.twitter.com/NUFyT4SOSZ
15d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
4,320
4,293
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
The doctors may have to surgically remove this thought bubble over my head with the piece of pie in it.
15d               
2,297
782
Brian D. Earp @briandavidearp
Deep dog thoughts ... pic.twitter.com/cb8MyoyEOt
16d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
9,327
10,687
Mark Leggett @markleggett
No offence intended, but if you put your white baby next to an Asian baby, your baby is definitely going to look like crap by comparison.
16d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
794
407
Mel Brooks @MelBrooks
Joan Rivers never played it safe. She was the bravest of them all. Still at the top at the end. She will be sorely missed.
17d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
3,407
2,082
Mike Scully @scullymike
Despite tragic passing of Joan Rivers, she'll be performing four shows this weekend at Foxwoods Casino.
17d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,403
709
Anthony Jeselnik @anthonyjeselnik
Joan Rivers once told me she would die before she'd ever apologize for a joke. I'm glad she made it.
17d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
7,728
5,065
The Onion @TheOnion
I-90 Adds Lane For Drivers Traveling Cross-Country To Stop Woman From Marrying Wrong Man onion.com/1qA8niE
17d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
538
374
The Onion @TheOnion
Death Row Guard Has Always Had Soft Spot For The Innocent Ones onion.com/1qoGFXl pic.twitter.com/j1ZgRdVVlH
18d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
705
659
Mark Leggett @markleggett
People in the office near mine like to loudly discuss questions they could easily google because I work in Hell with a billion Hitlers.
21d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,509
700
Mark Leggett @markleggett
"I believe that people make their own luck in life. Anyone can achieve anything if they truly want it enough…" - Someone with rich parents.
20d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
3,721
3,323
Larry King @kingsthings
Hey @mark_wahlberg & @SethMacFarlane I'm watching Ted for the 45th time. This is one of the greatest movies. Ready for Ted 2.
19d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,070
329
Julius Sharpe @juliussharpe
Women, don't tell us about your boyfriend. He's a guy. We know what he's like.
21d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,568
983
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Thrilled to be performing at the Hollywood Bowl tonight with my idol John Williams. Childhood wish fulfilled.
22d               
2,121
333
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Really looking forward to Fox's new half-hour comedy "Oh, Edgar!" pic.twitter.com/g5G66yrXLh
22d               
708
201
CHRIS KELLY @imchriskelly
A fun party game would be to have everyone write down on a slip of paper what they think ISIS is and then read them aloud during the party.
22d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
2,045
1,206
Mark Leggett @markleggett
Yesterday I wanted to take a photo of bras in a store and tweet it to you guys with the hashtag #HonkHonk, but a lady was staring at me :(
22d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
574
181
ClickHole @ClickHole
Amazing! This Boy Saw Heaven During His Near-Death Experience! clickhole.com/r/830tsd pic.twitter.com/vUNpe551Wl
28d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
410
322
Spencer Porter @porters
One of my parents' friends just told me, face to face, that he saw my profile while on Facebook. That was it.

If I die tonight, he did it.
29d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
743
240
Kevin Seccia @kevinseccia
When did they decide that every razor had to look like a piece that fell off a Transformer?
30d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,813
889
Dana Gould @danagould
The good news is, God has a plan.

The bad news is, it's called, "Operation: Awful Bullshit"
31d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,799
1,313
The Onion @TheOnion
Did you know that @Arbys is now offering roast beef you can vape? onion.com/1vmuMS2 pic.twitter.com/aQEB6AaBUv
31d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
498
577
Damien Fahey @DamienFahey
It's never your successful friends posting the inspirational quotes.
32d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
7,797
7,471
Kevin Seccia @kevinseccia
I need a new gimmick. What if I'm always just inexplicably shuffling a deck of cards? Would you buy that? Like "whoa, who's that drifter?!"
32d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
780
384
Damien Fahey @DamienFahey
Remember high-maintenance women, it's yell into phone, sip from straw in giant iced coffee and repeat until Range Rover gets to destination.
32d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,304
715
PETA @peta
SO GOOD. @ConanOBrien speaks the truth about #SeaWorld on air last night 🙌 #SeaWorldSucks pic.twitter.com/hsPJut52MF
32d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,096
836
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
#Cosmos pic.twitter.com/tAzYPn2lOq
32d               
2,840
1,945
The Onion @TheOnion
Study Finds 79% Of Statistics Now Sobering onion.com/1tlV5Yl pic.twitter.com/nwYUl5HD0b
32d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
508
659
Mike Scully @scullymike
"Jesus Christ, get a look at these fucking idiots." - if my dad had introduced The Beatles instead of Ed Sullivan
33d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
2,030
887
Ted @Rikans087
@SethMacFarlane ALS Ice Bucket Challenge...in the West! pic.twitter.com/nBL7oGXZ4y
33d in reply to SethMacFarlaneRetweeted by SethMacFarlane               
2,983
1,925
Chris Regan @ChrisRRegan
Have you guys seen Rick Perry's mugshot? pic.twitter.com/Hti5PFvJhj
33d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
616
424
Chris Regan @ChrisRRegan
Ferguson PD starts press briefing with a prayer. "I'll take a question from the man rolling his eyes. No, the other one."
33d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
814
521
CHRIS KELLY @imchriskelly
So sad to hear about Don Pardo. He'll be missed. Every time I heard his voice growing up, I knew my very favorite thing was about to start.
33d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
772
374
Kevin Seccia @kevinseccia
I think I'll be a pretty great dad one day, on weekends and some holidays, depending on how crazy stuff at work is. We'll see.
34d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,218
725
Mark Leggett @markleggett
You know something is truly stupid when it becomes popular on Facebook.
34d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,562
1,277
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
With ongoing events in Ferguson, I once again recommend Michelle Alexander's "The New Jim Crow." Sheds objective light on the big picture.
34d               
1,329
850
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Nothing like a vigorous abdominal workout at the 1800s gym. pic.twitter.com/KXERV9uDlx
35d               
1,776
918
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
RT @shaun_01759_835: @SethMacFarlane I think famliy guy is bloody funny pic.twitter.com/f6RveWwDkx // Thanks for including the Sears portrait.
35d               
511
94
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Alan Silvestri and Annie Druyan w/ their Emmys for Cosmos pic.twitter.com/sNQ0rkUz2V
36d               
1,839
492
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Ooo and yet Cosmos was defeated for best non-fiction series. Get it together, Emmys. Get it together.
36d               
1,640
515
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Congratulations to the brilliant Ann Druyan on her Emmy win for writing Cosmos!!!!
36d               
1,824
638
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Congratulations to Alan Silvestri for his 2 Emmy wins!! Best main title theme, and bes... tmi.me/1eFkHH pic.twitter.com/9GbVTBLNFi
36d               
860
240
Gary Janetti @GaryJanetti
It's Madonna's birthday today. Her assistants must be so fucking stressed.
36d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,434
622
Julius Sharpe @juliussharpe
Buddhism defines enlightenment as, "Watching TMZ and not recognizing a single person they're talking about."
38d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,999
1,651
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
@_jessicabarth_ killed it yesterday in Ted 2 as Tami-Lynn
38d in reply to _jessicabarth_               
79
26
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Weird Bobby Goldsboro lyric of the day: "She comes to me softly with crackers and beer"
39d               
768
250
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