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@
ImageNameLocationTwitter sinceLinks
Seth MacFarlaneLos Angeles2009-01-13
@SethMacFarlane2,054 days
The Official Twitter Page of Seth MacFarlane - A Million Ways to Die in the West available on blu-ray soon!
FollowersFollowingTweetsListsFavorites
5,846,9442413,76730,9330
ClickHole @ClickHole
Amazing! This Boy Saw Heaven During His Near-Death Experience! clickhole.com/r/830tsd pic.twitter.com/vUNpe551Wl
4d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
410
312
Spencer Porter @porters
One of my parents' friends just told me, face to face, that he saw my profile while on Facebook. That was it.

If I die tonight, he did it.
5d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
712
234
Kevin Seccia @kevinseccia
When did they decide that every razor had to look like a piece that fell off a Transformer?
6d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,750
869
Dana Gould @danagould
The good news is, God has a plan.

The bad news is, it's called, "Operation: Awful Bullshit"
7d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,722
1,268
The Onion @TheOnion
Did you know that @Arbys is now offering roast beef you can vape? onion.com/1vmuMS2 pic.twitter.com/aQEB6AaBUv
7d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
493
569
Damien Fahey @DamienFahey
It's never your successful friends posting the inspirational quotes.
8d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
6,549
5,998
Kevin Seccia @kevinseccia
I need a new gimmick. What if I'm always just inexplicably shuffling a deck of cards? Would you buy that? Like "whoa, who's that drifter?!"
8d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
757
375
Damien Fahey @DamienFahey
Remember high-maintenance women, it's yell into phone, sip from straw in giant iced coffee and repeat until Range Rover gets to destination.
8d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,247
706
PETA @peta
SO GOOD. @ConanOBrien speaks the truth about #SeaWorld on air last night 🙌 #SeaWorldSucks pic.twitter.com/hsPJut52MF
8d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,077
824
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
#Cosmos pic.twitter.com/tAzYPn2lOq
8d               
2,699
1,836
The Onion @TheOnion
Study Finds 79% Of Statistics Now Sobering onion.com/1tlV5Yl pic.twitter.com/nwYUl5HD0b
8d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
504
657
Mike Scully @scullymike
"Jesus Christ, get a look at these fucking idiots." - if my dad had introduced The Beatles instead of Ed Sullivan
8d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,982
869
Ted @Rikans087
@SethMacFarlane ALS Ice Bucket Challenge...in the West! pic.twitter.com/nBL7oGXZ4y
8d in reply to SethMacFarlaneRetweeted by SethMacFarlane               
2,923
1,883
Chris Regan @ChrisRRegan
Have you guys seen Rick Perry's mugshot? pic.twitter.com/Hti5PFvJhj
9d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
609
421
Chris Regan @ChrisRRegan
Ferguson PD starts press briefing with a prayer. "I'll take a question from the man rolling his eyes. No, the other one."
9d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
811
523
Chris Kelly @imchriskelly
So sad to hear about Don Pardo. He'll be missed. Every time I heard his voice growing up, I knew my very favorite thing was about to start.
9d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
770
375
Kevin Seccia @kevinseccia
I think I'll be a pretty great dad one day, on weekends and some holidays, depending on how crazy stuff at work is. We'll see.
10d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,192
716
Mark Leggett @markleggett
You know something is truly stupid when it becomes popular on Facebook.
10d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,534
1,262
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
With ongoing events in Ferguson, I once again recommend Michelle Alexander's "The New Jim Crow." Sheds objective light on the big picture.
10d               
1,322
843
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Nothing like a vigorous abdominal workout at the 1800s gym. pic.twitter.com/KXERV9uDlx
11d               
1,717
877
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
RT @shaun_01759_835: @SethMacFarlane I think famliy guy is bloody funny pic.twitter.com/f6RveWwDkx // Thanks for including the Sears portrait.
11d               
503
91
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Alan Silvestri and Annie Druyan w/ their Emmys for Cosmos pic.twitter.com/sNQ0rkUz2V
12d               
1,802
486
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Ooo and yet Cosmos was defeated for best non-fiction series. Get it together, Emmys. Get it together.
12d               
1,634
516
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Congratulations to the brilliant Ann Druyan on her Emmy win for writing Cosmos!!!!
12d               
1,820
632
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Congratulations to Alan Silvestri for his 2 Emmy wins!! Best main title theme, and bes... tmi.me/1eFkHH pic.twitter.com/9GbVTBLNFi
12d               
846
234
Gary Janetti @GaryJanetti
It's Madonna's birthday today. Her assistants must be so fucking stressed.
12d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,414
620
Julius Sharpe @juliussharpe
Buddhism defines enlightenment as, "Watching TMZ and not recognizing a single person they're talking about."
14d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,965
1,632
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
@_jessicabarth_ killed it yesterday in Ted 2 as Tami-Lynn
14d in reply to _jessicabarth_               
73
22
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Weird Bobby Goldsboro lyric of the day: "She comes to me softly with crackers and beer"
15d               
770
248
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Thank you, Lauren, for teaching us all how to whistle. You will be missed, but more than that, you will be celebrated.
16d               
3,427
1,244
Mark Leggett @markleggett
For most of my childhood, I wanted to be Mork from Ork. I still do.
17d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,721
400
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
The world just got a lot less funny. Robin Williams is a tragic loss.
16d               
17,856
11,263
Patrick Stewart @SirPatStew
And my first music festival is over. pic.twitter.com/zB9GvnFHXD
17d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
11,291
4,827
Mark Leggett @markleggett
Vin Diesel calls it "Groot, and the Galactic Guardians - a VIN DIESEL Film: Written/Directed/Starring VIN DIESEL as 'Groot', the Main Hero".
17d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
534
286
Damien Fahey @DamienFahey
The opposite of doing ecstasy is hearing a band say, "This next one's off the new album".
18d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
2,810
1,869
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Stop shouting, Mel B. There's a mic right in front of you.
18d               
1,716
329
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
RT@redfabiuz: Peter is doing great on an Italian Mall shelf. @SethMacFarlane pic.twitter.com/cmVDsDQ3Lk // Had no idea this existed. Delightful.
18d               
2,647
1,245
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Hey follow my pal and Oscar/Sound of Music Live producer @craigzadan!
20d               
234
44
Alec Sulkin @thesulk
Thanks for always being on the other side of the goddamn socket, lamp switches.
20d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
593
227
Rudy @unleashedmario
@neiltyson some one colored that drawing of you by @SethMacFarlane pic.twitter.com/Fs6DJilfbP
20d in reply to neiltysonRetweeted by SethMacFarlane               
675
276
Dana Gould @danagould
Like most of those stricken with worry over the missing Nigerian schoolgirls, I've moved onto making snide remarks about the new fall shows.
21d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
449
231
dom bianchi @BigDomIdiot
Pretty cool there's a Banksy in my neighborhood. pic.twitter.com/JYKx9IKe22
22d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
2,367
1,654
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
I want to see the scene just before this, when the three of them were planning the choreography. pic.twitter.com/CHvMAbDfuI
24d               
3,305
1,341
Mike Scollins @mikescollins
E-BO-LA... pic.twitter.com/mJOANOcWq0
24d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
3,530
3,447
Crutnacker @Crutnacker
Next Republican that bitches about environmental regulations should be handed a bottle of Toledo tap water.
24d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,297
1,203
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
RT @Lilliewassell: @SethMacFarlane Who would you like to play you in a film about your life? // Grover.
24d               
578
160
Guy Endore-Kaiser @GuyEndoreKaiser
Do you have any motivational books?

Yeah, they're in the back.

(long pause) Do you have any that are closer?
27d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
2,682
1,841
Damien Fahey @DamienFahey
The Notorious B.I.G. seemed real tough until you realize he spent part of a song bragging about eating brunch.
24d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
930
634
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Scooby Doo comes off like such an asshole when he shouts his own name.
25d               
5,606
3,147
Barnaby Smith @barnaby_smith
August 2nd and it's already football weather in Boston. What gives?
26d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
183
48
The Onion @TheOnion
GlaxoSmithKline Releases New Drug To Treat People Who Just Feel Sort Of Weird Sometimes onion.com/1pJOi6u pic.twitter.com/f6tYEdfONb
28d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
976
1,228
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
pic.twitter.com/k8TUOUSvgD
28d               
7,005
4,975
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Once again my pal @neiltyson sets the record straight. It's irrational to fear GMO foods. m.youtube.com/watch?v=1ecT2C…
28d               
963
743
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Mark Wahlberg and Amanda Seyfried are awesome in Ted 2. Just an update.
28d               
3,547
1,542
David Goodman @DavidAGoodman
Congress is taking the President to court because he fit the description.
28d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
757
595
The Onion @TheOnion
In Focus: Offended Customer's Huffy Walkout Goes Unnoticed onion.com/WMZSqD
29d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
292
223
The Onion @TheOnion
FDA Approves First Artificial Tumor onion.com/WM98ew
29d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
238
207
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
1st day of filming on Ted 2: Back in the Habit
31d               
6,200
3,777
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
RT @Vadwalas: @SethMacFarlane can you make it funny and yet family friendly? // No. Go watch HOP.
33d               
2,046
675
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Filming for Ted 2 begins Monday! Don't worry-- it ain't the same movie twice.
33d               
6,155
3,785
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
You should all be following @markleggett. The guy is hilarious.
34d               
381
112
The Onion @TheOnion
Obama To Cut Costs By Packing Lunch Every Day For U.S. Populace onion.com/UvK49H pic.twitter.com/94gKR78SYt
35d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,532
1,497
Guy Endore-Kaiser @GuyEndoreKaiser
It's absolutely horrifying that Arizona took two hours to put a man to death yesterday. Silver Lining: He no longer has to live in Arizona.
35d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
948
577
Mark Leggett @markleggett
Give your cat a bath if you want to find out that it has a weird little goblin body.
35d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,997
1,336
Jen Statsky @jenstatsky
God, I would read the shit outta a new email right about now.
35d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
493
190
Mike Scully @scullymike
"Cheers" would have been a funny show if they had been allowed to say penis and vagina.
35d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
354
107
Julius Sharpe @juliussharpe
Congratulations everyone yelling about politics on never changing one single person's mind, ever.
37d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,873
1,563
Julius Sharpe @juliussharpe
I would have started hinting E.T. should find his own place on day three.
38d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,132
619
Jay Polk @polkmusic
Great article on the music for Cosmos.
projectorandorchestra.com/scoring-the-co…
39d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
155
57
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Congrats to the whole Cosmos team on the TCA Award win!
40d               
1,668
351
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Dabney Coleman is the only Dabney I can think of.
40d               
660
196
Julius Sharpe @juliussharpe
Amazing how quickly I go from anxiety over the lie I'm going to tell for running late to rage when the other person is later than I am.
42d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,257
790
Julius Sharpe @juliussharpe
There's nothing better than when someone you know walks by without recognizing you.
44d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,620
1,076
The Onion @TheOnion
God Pledges $5,000 For Cancer Research onion.com/1wBmTHp
42d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
661
633
Bill Maher @billmaher
One thing you never hear in the middle east: I just can't stay mad at you
42d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
2,745
2,223
Jessica Steele @SoulSteeler652
@SethMacFarlane my dad is mr Pewterschmidt #Rollcall pic.twitter.com/JWfHi9P1IX
43d in reply to SethMacFarlaneRetweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,582
366
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Follow Cassini imaging leader @carolynporco! Your best ticket to Saturn. And check out her interview w/ @neiltyson at bit.ly/1cuyiC1
43d               
248
84
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Sorry I haven't tweeted in awhile-- Been immersed in pre-production for Ted 2! I think you're gonna like it.
43d               
5,543
2,339
Mark Leggett @markleggett
Remember when you used to say "cray"? What a fuckin' idiot.
47d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,216
983
Faces in Things @FacesPics
Patrick Stewart is hiding in this bed pic.twitter.com/RPk0G4TO71
48d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
8,664
7,023
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
RT @Hecoxanator: The episode Brian & Stewie has helped me through some dark times and I just want to say thank you / Well this is a new one.
48d               
924
190
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Very excited for Ann Druyan, @neiltyson, and the whole COSMOS team for our 12 Emmy nominations!
49d               
1,881
637
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Ted 2 begins
51d               
15,563
12,836
Epcot Centre @EpcotCentre
I think the Founding Fathers of the United States would have gotten a real kick out of Epcot.
54d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
987
452
Pauly Casillas? @PaulyPeligroso
Dudes that flip off the camera in pictures want you to know that they're tough and strong and not afraid of any fucking camera.
57d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,981
1,778
The Onion @TheOnion
The Onion’s Independence Day Fireworks Spectacular onion.com/1o27P0Y pic.twitter.com/1Kb4ij2shQ
57d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
172
111
The Onion @TheOnion
TIP: Remember that fireworks can’t hurt you when you’re drunk. Nothing can onion.com/1kaU52E pic.twitter.com/HHHfGhQJ0S
58d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,537
2,825
Luke Adams @luketadams
Hobby Lobby has agreed to continue to pay their employees a salary on the condition that they don't spend any of it on alcohol or porn.
58d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,096
1,101
Dan McCarthy @dmccarthy7
this is our son, Ryder Kade Ace Hypermasculine Overcompensation for Daddy’s Fears Jones-Rendenburg
58d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
417
198
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
RT@pickledouche: @WFinchner Vasectomies are, and so is Viagra and other penis helping devices. / Does it cover the second helping of penis?
58d               
225
67
The Onion @TheOnion
In Focus: Nation's Boyfriends Dreading 'Free Event In The Park' Season onion.com/1mNvF3T
59d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
555
521
Joe Bianchino @Joe_1045
@SethMacFarlane Do I get a line-item veto on my taxes, now? I'm Catholic, am I paying for road work done on the Sabbath?
58d in reply to SethMacFarlaneRetweeted by SethMacFarlane               
440
272
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Religious freedom is a right everyone deserves, but the Supreme Court has set an nasty precedent with this one. pic.twitter.com/H5sfTAmOZI
58d               
5,131
5,732
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Rarely-sung final lyric to "There's a Hole in the Bucket": "Goddammit Henry, figure it the fuck out yourself, I'm giving birth!"
60d               
1,418
473
Mark Leggett @markleggett
Before drinking an "energy drink", pause to consider this: How are you going to use that extra energy to better serve Christ?
60d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
2,076
1,612
Damien Fahey @DamienFahey
If you're selling a Hummer, don't forget to put a sign on it that says, "For Sale by Asshole".
60d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
1,432
863
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
I would probably watch something called "The Adventures of Milo and Otis and Jack Bauer".
60d               
1,516
609
David Goodman @DavidAGoodman
The closest feeling I get to being a soldier in war is when I'm accidentally in the path of a thrown football.
62d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
746
379
Seth MacFarlane @SethMacFarlane
Woke up this morning to find that Facebook stole one of my kidneys.
60d               
2,312
891
Julius Sharpe @juliussharpe
The people telling you about their massage always deserve a massage the least.
63d Retweeted by SethMacFarlane               
808
357
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