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Check out the last 100 tweets of the user, with videos and, thumbnails of the pictures, and expanded url's embedded in the tweet.
@
ImageNameLocationTwitter sinceLinks
Korsen JanneyChicago2010-03-15
@AtomsOnBroadway1,683 days
A dinosaur, probably. Also, the least Polish member of Atoms on Broadway. By far.
FollowersFollowingTweetsListsFavorites
39,6392134561198,473
Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
@TJJanney Happy 21st, T-Bone! Heaven's loss (you in angel form) was our gain (you in boy form) the day you came into our lives.
177d in reply to TJJanney               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
.@DrOz What if the raccoon just gives you a hickey? Still a rabies concern?
703d               
4
Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
Dreamt that a blind Ted Danson and I battled vampires. Ted insisted that, if he couldn't see them, they couldn't see him. He died violently.
713d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
The stock market is down today but that's not really a problem for me since I have all my money invested in Disney Princess snow globes.
714d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
.@BarackObama Congrats on winnin' black prez! U think you'll run for white prez one day? It will be tough cause we are super racist! LMFAO!
715d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
.@BarackObama I'm at Wendy's if u wanna Baconator lemme know. I got a coupon. Don't stress bout calories today! Diet can wait! Just be u!
715d               
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Sarah Y @SarahAlyousha
@AtomsOnBroadway @BarackObama There is no election next year...
715d in reply to AtomsOnBroadwayRetweeted by AtomsOnBroadway               
1
Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
@BarackObama Voted 4 u but I didn't get a sticker. Guess this is wut they mean bout politisians bein liars. Prolly won't vote 4 u next year.
715d in reply to BarackObama               
1
Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
The best thing about drug abuse is forgetting what happened in movies you've already seen. Is Tom Hanks really gonna fuck this volleyball?
716d               
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Sam LW @DoubleBerg426
The woman cutting my hair decided that I'd look best as a lesbian.
716d Retweeted by AtomsOnBroadway               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
Any sites show how the candidates feel about potential movie sequels? Like if Obama is ok with a Hotel 4 Dogs 2 if this time it's personal?
716d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
For the record, I ain't votin' for shit until America apologizes for its unjust persecution of Willie Nelson, our greatest living ginger.
717d               
4
2
Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
"More like high FUN-ctioning alcoholic--right gang!?!" {prances down sidewalk, tries to hurdle parking meter, destroys nuts, shames family}
718d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
Aspiring rappers: when forming an entourage, don't overlook the quiet Eastern European guy in the Adidas warm-ups. He'll get shit done.
719d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
Just set the DVR to tape an infomercial in case anyone was wondering what rock bottom looks like.
720d               
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2
Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
No lady, it's not creepy I gave your kid a mixtape of 90s R&B jams rather than candy. Ginuwine's "Pony" never gave anyone type 2 diabetes.
721d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
@melissajune Well happy fucking Halloween to you too. Did you dress up?
721d in reply to melissajune               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
Sorry kids, no candy but who wants to come in, crack open a room temperature Bud and hear about the 7 Jewish bankers who control all media?
721d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
Now Billy, do you think the REAL Iron Man wears Nikes? Mistakes like that are probably why your dad doesn't live at your house anymore, huh?
721d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
Remember kids, the best Halloween costumes always combine two disparate ideas. Like Professor Ed Hardy. Or Non-Date Rapist Ed Hardy.
722d               
2
Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
@TJJanney You guys look awesome! Nice job!
723d in reply to TJJanney               
Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
@melissajune It's surprisingly satisfying. I highly recommend it.
723d in reply to melissajune               
Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
When someone responds to bad news by saying "God has a plan," a fun thing I like to do is gently insert all of my fingers into their mouth.
723d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
Now I'm at K-Mart. No deals but the guy at the register said I could have a Faygo if I watch the place while he goes outside and cries.
730d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
Sorry to interrupt. I'm at Walmart. Deals galore. Anyone wanna go halfsies on a quarter-ton of Kit-Kats? Page me! #nobama420 #bieberdid911
730d               
5
Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
Sometimes I'll consider selling stuff on Craigslist but is getting $8 for this ottoman worth the 50% chance I'll be murdered in my own home?
730d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
Whenever I feel too good about myself, I remember that I'm saving a DVR'd "Bigfoot: The Definitive Guide" for a "special occasion."
731d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
@BigTex182 pic.twitter.com/JmA6hZjo
733d in reply to BigTex182               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
My relationships blow up in my face with all the grace and dignity of an alka-seltzer bloated seagull in a Wal-Mart parking lot.
734d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
If I ever get arrested I hope the cops have a time machine. The only phone number I have memorized is for my parents' house in 1993.
737d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
I’d like to congratulate @melissajune on turning 27 for a fourth consecutive year! You’re truly an inspiration to young women everywhere!
738d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
There's nothing wrong with ranking a woman numerically as long as you're rating the likelihood that she has a flask in her purse.
742d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
@melissajune My favorite part of this text is that you have your brother saved in your phone as "John McGowan." Very professional.
743d in reply to melissajune               
Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
@melissajune Thanks! Don't beat yourself up. I like to think of you as twitter handi-capable.
744d in reply to melissajune               
Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
@melissajune He's going to bury us all.
744d in reply to melissajune               
Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
Morgan Freeman has been in his 60s longer than I've been alive.
745d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
That's a low blow, Panda Express. Judas bastards. pic.twitter.com/G7oRoXZ9
750d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
Fuck you, the internet. You're a collection of badly lit porn and wacky cat videos. I'm not capitalizing you in a sentence.
752d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
If you don't think it's possible to be a teen grandma, you probably don't spend much time at the Golden Corral.
753d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
"Sick deep v-neck, bro!"..."Thanks, bro. It's my Aunt Edna's Easter vest."..."I miss us, bro."..."No, you just miss the idea of us, bro."
754d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
Pretty crazy how literally every single kid who had to call his dad "sir" can now only get off by paying hookers to stomp on his balls.
755d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
I don't know why women get so mad when you tell them they look like another woman. So you look like Korean Ally McBeal? So what? It's fine.
756d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
Spent 5 minutes googling which McDonald's Monopoly pieces are "the rare ones" so don't tell me I've got no plan for my future, every woman.
757d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
@BigTex182 Nervous breakdown? If he starts calling the vacuum cleaner "Bud" call my mom.
757d in reply to BigTex182               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
I mix Diet Coke with Coke Zero because I'd hate to miss out on that sweet class action lawsuit for the brain tumors we develop in 20 years.
758d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
Mice ate my grandma's Beanie Babies. We replaced them with some condoms full of fruity pebbles cause that's all my sister had in her purse.
759d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
@iamlark The hours suck but the office Christmas party gets pretty wild.
760d in reply to iamlark               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
"Ah Sunday. Time to make the donuts." {punches time-clock, puts on old-timey scuba suit, falls face first into kiddie pool full of Jim Beam}
760d               
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franklin lopez @franklin23234
Fallow me justin bieber
760d Retweeted by AtomsOnBroadway               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
I spend most afternoons trapped in a Piggly Wiggly, trying to avoid donating to the Boy Scout troop lurking near the exit.
763d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
This library sure has a lot of Cowboy Junkies CDs. That feels right somehow.
763d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
One minute you're feelin' pretty good about yourself, the next someone asks you to sign a birthday card.
768d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
I miss the old days of sci-fi special effects when they just found a guy who looked like John Waters and painted him green.
771d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
@melissajune Sounds good! Hope Reno is treating you well.
772d in reply to melissajune               
Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
@melissajune @BigTex182 John is like the army. He says cunt more times before 9 AM than most people do all day.
772d in reply to melissajune               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
The secret ingredient in my prize-winning vegan chili is a half pound of ground beef.
772d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
Is wearing a red shirt still considered a power move if there's a picture of the Millennium Falcon on it? What if it's bedazzled?
779d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
Just a quiet Sunday at home, hoping my life never depends on explaining how the British educational system works.
780d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
@TJJanney That should be the name of the band we'll one day form.
780d in reply to TJJanney               
Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
ON AN ALL NEW WEEDS! FRANCIS FINDS A PAN FLUTE. ABBY KICKS IT WITH HUNTER. THE CASE OF THE MISSING PINKY RING TAKES A TURN FOR THE SEXY!
781d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
Don't post "check out this hot action!" and then have it be a picture of a reuben. I only have like 3 more hours to jerk off today. Grow up.
793d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
If I were Tom Hanks and some astronaut tried to talk to me, I'd be all "Wasn't that like a MILLION years ago?" Then speed off on my segway.
798d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
Watching my nana gum-fuck this taffy apple makes me wonder if perhaps a horse didn't bang a chimp somewhere along our evolutionary ladder.
799d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
Pinterest is kinda like a women's bathroom. I have no idea what's going on in there and it's probably best I don't try and find out.
810d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
I'm at my most racist when I learn someone can speak 9 languages and then get disappointed when it turns out 7 of them are African dialects.
814d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
So nice when rest areas have one of those coffee vending machines. Nothin like a piping hot mocha latte before being stabbed by a transient.
815d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
Law & Order Pro-Tip: If you see Eric Roberts actin' all casual and shit in the first 5 minutes, there's little doubt he strangled that hoe.
821d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
Alcohol kills brain cells so slowly that you don't even notice and then one day there you are--buttering a waffle with a pizza cutter.
828d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
@OfNorthAmerica @BrittanyLauren5 We did it again!
832d in reply to MrOrenWagner               
1
Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
I sometimes think about how much thinner I'd be if I'd been born Amish. Plus, I'd probably have like a deaf son named Josiah or some shit.
833d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
"Hey, these fat bastards just want orange chicken. Let's make 2 trays of that!"- the non-existent greatest manager in Panda Express history.
836d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
OMG did u know original fairy tales are different from the Disney ones?! Cinderella cut off her feet! Buzz Lightyear ate a baby! WE GET IT.
836d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
You're not allowed to get upset I called your bar a dive if I just watched you wash your dishes in the sink because you live upstairs.
837d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
Losing my remote in bed is probably the closest I'll ever come to understanding the complex emotions involved in being a teenage girl.
843d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
People love Apple but I believe in brand loyalty. That's why once a year I smash my shitty, frozen Dell against a wall and get a new one.
848d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
I feel like stretching could do more harm than good at this point. Like when you refold a road map too many times and it rips at the seams.
850d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
Lots of people say they miss Game of Thrones but I don't see anyone else walking into this Great Clips and demanding the "Brienne of Tarth."
852d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
Smart they put "only in theaters" at the end of this Dark Knight trailer. Woulda gone to the petting zoo. Baby goat be all "bad news, brah."
855d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
The great thing about these caramel apple suckers is that they instantly melt your teeth--providing the calcium & minerals my body needs!
857d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
It's sad that Matthew Perry's son thinks the only way he can get his dad to love him is by making terrible movies for black people.
858d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
Just shaved my forehead in case anyone out there is trying to track down Wolf Boy's illegitimate, albino son.
858d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
whenever I see a baby doing some awesome acting I'm like so what big deal there are probably 2 of you
862d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
I find that the most elegant way to avoid playing charades is guessing Freddy Got Fingered every 5 seconds until the hostess starts crying.
864d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
What's the point of even having an open casket if you can't dangle little kids over it and ask "Who wants to take a nap with Auntie Edna?"
868d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
This forest preserve should be renamed Waving-at-the-Elderly Trails.
869d               
2
1
Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
Hey classic car owners! It's a beautiful day to get out there and show the world you peaked as a human being in 1972! Get after it!
887d               
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2
Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
Screw supplements. I get my vitamin D the old-fashioned way. Day-drinking a fifth of Dewar's and passing out on my neighbor's trampoline.
887d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
The great thing about living next to one of those cereal cafes is that there's a 100% chance the manager knows how to fix your vaporizer.
888d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
Meanwhile, deep in his underground lair, Charlie Kaufman toils over a screenplay in which Nick Cannon somehow shoots himself out of himself.
888d               
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1
Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
I know too many people named Stanimal.
889d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
The smartest guy I know once ate a sandwich covered in saran wrap in case anyone was wondering why you don't see me at the opera more often.
889d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
Road Warrior Hawk's male-pattern-baldness mohawk taught an entire generation what it means to turn lemons into lemonade.
889d               
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1
Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
If you ever see me gazing whistfully into the sunset, give me a moment. I'm thinking about all the discontinued chips I've loved and lost.
890d               
8
Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
The world record chicken flight is only 13 seconds. Pathetic. Get me a chicken with a little goddamn moxie and I'll double that in a week.
890d               
3
1
Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
I bet a lot of bromances start at BW3 and end with the local newspaper headline: "Basically Thelma & Louise But Fatter And With 3 Dudes."
891d               
5
Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
A fun thing I like to do on first dates is interrupt the girl and pretend I'm going to order for her. Misogyny can be a GREAT icebreaker.
893d               
11
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
Think Johnny 5 but with EVEN MORE SASS. LIKE AN ALMOST UNREALISTIC AMOUNT OF SASS and more input than a clown car full of Einsteins.
893d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
And don’t forget Siri (voice of Jim Jarmusch in a career-making performance) as the mischievous lil matchmaker of our star-crossed lovers.
893d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
Zooey D plays a precocious field mouse (puppetry/muppetry from Jim Henson Co. with voice provided by the Desch).
893d               
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Korsen Janney @AtomsOnBroadway
Ace recently lost his wife to the nefarious yet limber charms of a Chilean tango instructor and now fears he will never love/dance again.
893d               
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