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@
ImageNameLocationTwitter sinceLinks
The Onion2008-03-04
@TheOnion2,424 days
America's Finest News Source. Subscribe on YouTube: http://t.co/5h833w1KO1
FollowersFollowingTweetsListsFavorites
6,396,9161332,16772,3311
The Onion @TheOnion
Pueblo Indians Can’t Keep Pace With Area Mom’s Appetite For Earthenware onion.com/1xauUEw pic.twitter.com/E0gJqyOqWH
1h               
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The Onion @TheOnion
Area Man Released After Being Wrongfully Employed For 9 Years onion.com/1xauNca
2h               
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The Onion @TheOnion
New Census Study Finds That 40% Of U.S. Population Is Filler onion.com/1xauEFD pic.twitter.com/AFGZyAXFHe
3h               
342
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The Onion @TheOnion
Second-Grader Likes To Save Purple Pills For Last onion.com/1xauvlE
4h               
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The Onion @TheOnion
Cake Left Out In Break Room With No Instructions onion.com/1xaqkWY pic.twitter.com/L8hK0IFG7Y
5h               
613
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The Onion @TheOnion
Midterm Candidates Distancing Selves From United States onion.com/1xaqjlL
6h               
76
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Hammond Morris @OnionAdCzar
I would compete in the Schick Xtreme Comfort Games but I think I’m already competing by laying down on my couch? onion.com/1xacYda
9h Retweeted by TheOnion               
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The Onion @TheOnion
Man’s Whole Job Undoing Handiwork Of Self-Checkout Machine onion.com/1xaqdKU pic.twitter.com/LbN7TeQ3XS
7h               
263
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ClickHole @ClickHole
7 Female CEOs Who Inspire Us All To Be Cogs In The Capitalist Machine clickhole.com/r/1242tsd pic.twitter.com/rAkgfrtHT8
11h Retweeted by TheOnion               
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The Onion @TheOnion
Here are some tips for finding the right doctor: onion.com/1xaiOv5 pic.twitter.com/rRB4Y6QdEO
8h               
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Hammond Morris @OnionAdCzar
What’s worse than rats? Singing rats. I don’t care if they are a Soprano. onion.com/1xacELx
9h Retweeted by TheOnion               
25
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The Onion @TheOnion
[American Voices] Toys ‘R’ Us Pulls ‘Breaking Bad’ Action Figures From Shelves onion.com/1xadTKG #WhatDoYouThink?
9h               
66
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The AV Club @TheAVClub
Goodfellas actor sues The Simpsons for allegedly stealing his likeness avc.lu/ZNUGUq pic.twitter.com/KsqYPsaKLR
12h Retweeted by TheOnion               
385
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The Onion @TheOnion
Pueblo Indians Can’t Keep Pace With Area Mom’s Appetite For Earthenware onion.com/1wkY9oW pic.twitter.com/H0TDx3p0aF
9h               
478
264
The Onion @TheOnion
Area Man Released After Being Wrongfully Employed For 9 Years onion.com/1rqDeeW pic.twitter.com/sJyCUSoByq
10h               
323
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Onion Sports Network @OnionSports
Curt Schilling’s Family Urges Him To Finally See Doctor About Bleeding Ankle onion.com/1rqBzpO pic.twitter.com/N8hVVz65VG
10h Retweeted by TheOnion               
299
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The Onion @TheOnion
New Census Study Finds That 40% Of U.S. Population Is Filler onion.com/1rqAXAl pic.twitter.com/hzh93LER5B
11h               
323
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ClickHole @ClickHole
We Put 700 Red Dots On A Map clickhole.com/r/947tsd
13h Retweeted by TheOnion               
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The Onion @TheOnion
If you never click this link to our sponsor’s content, you’ll never know if it’s shameful, embarrassing or both onion.com/ZNX4KH #SPON
11h               
40
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The Onion @TheOnion
Second-Grader Likes To Save Purple Pills For Last onion.com/1zkM5J1 pic.twitter.com/0Es3NTKkiC
12h               
301
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The Onion @TheOnion
Reports indicate that the cake definitely isn’t big enough for the entire office onion.com/1zkKSBw pic.twitter.com/6nFE5HKXAg
12h               
299
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The Onion @TheOnion
Cake Left Out In Break Room With No Instructions onion.com/1zkKgMi
12h               
144
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The Onion @TheOnion
Midterm Candidates Distancing Selves From United States onion.com/1CWolHB pic.twitter.com/QnANIIckWi
13h               
164
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The Onion @TheOnion
In Focus: Johnny Depp Now Completely Made Of Scarves And Bracelets onion.com/1CWg9ac pic.twitter.com/hwxXOFFjT5
13h               
2,166
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The Onion @TheOnion
Man’s Whole Job Undoing Handiwork Of Self-Checkout Machine onion.com/1nz7CbJ pic.twitter.com/Vhf7LopBsc
13h               
291
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ClickHole @ClickHole
Did we get this right? #GamerGate clickhole.com/r/1241tsd pic.twitter.com/GP1Q67V5Xx
14h Retweeted by TheOnion               
1,759
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The Onion @TheOnion
[American Voices] Facebook To Test Jet-Sized Wi-Fi Drones By 2015 onion.com/1nz67tY #WhatDoYouThink?
14h               
40
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The Onion @TheOnion
First, ask yourself what your goals are when you see a doctor. Do you want to live, or die? onion.com/1nz4Bbf pic.twitter.com/jLboW83iIb
14h               
178
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The Onion @TheOnion
In Focus: Man Appalled At Date Who Lied Slightly More Than Him On Online Dating Profile onion.com/1nyYKmg pic.twitter.com/UPRDXXTChy
16h               
306
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The Onion @TheOnion
Astronomers Celebrate 300th Anniversary Of Discovering Sky onion.com/ZFpwyc pic.twitter.com/CUWQjz1CUE
1d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
Flu Clinic Selling 2009 Version Of Vaccine For A Few Bucks Cheaper onion.com/ZFpeHq pic.twitter.com/Jhz6a5Lpa2
1d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
Moronic Mailroom Worker Worked Way Down From CEO onion.com/ZFparo pic.twitter.com/HALOTWUBTy
1d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
New Election Ruling Allows Candidates To Remain Completely Anonymous Throughout Campaign onion.com/ZFoW3h pic.twitter.com/DRpKjCGc11
1d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
Bud Selig Awoken From Cryosleep In Time For World Series onion.com/1t4d0o7 pic.twitter.com/g4dnpFSMh4
1d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
"You wouldn’t scare Abbott and Costello with these ham-fisted ostentations." onion.com/ZFoDW8 pic.twitter.com/Amxgw3qKXr
1d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
ONN Exclusive: One-On-One Interview With God onion.com/ZFooKV pic.twitter.com/eR2dTn2GrC
1d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
On the latest #ToughSeason, the fantasy football matchup of the year is here: onion.com/1t4fgvu #SPON pic.twitter.com/NU8rYPNgw4
1d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
Media Stumped On How To Handle Missing Mixed-Race Woman onion.com/1t4fa73 pic.twitter.com/f10IbQHtSk
1d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
[American Voices] Led Zeppelin Accused Of Plagiarizing ‘Stairway To Heaven’ onion.com/1t4c9nd #WhatDoYouThink?
1d               
74
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ClickHole @ClickHole
WATCH: A Recap Of Last Night’s Episode Of ‘Spaderville’ clickhole.com/r/1246tsd #Spaderville pic.twitter.com/nGWjSM7EwP
1d Retweeted by TheOnion               
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The Onion @TheOnion
In Focus: "I'll be honest, I'm not 22 anymore. I got responsibilities." onion.com/1or6nfm pic.twitter.com/pQ8tij3lNU
1d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
Behold the terrific beast: part original content, part corporate bile, part reader shame. See the monster here! onion.com/1or4vn0 #SPON
1d               
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The AV Club @TheAVClub
Hannibal Buress called Bill Cosby a rapist on stage avc.lu/10j0S7P pic.twitter.com/SeW0WZFRZe
1d Retweeted by TheOnion               
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The Onion @TheOnion
Astronomers Celebrate 300th Anniversary Of Discovering Sky onion.com/1s3Y9o0 pic.twitter.com/x6ZpJtRXXi
1d               
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Onion Sports Network @OnionSports
In Focus: SI Investigation Reveals Oklahoma State An Awesome Place To Play Football onion.com/1s3Sdva
1d Retweeted by TheOnion               
41
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The Onion @TheOnion
Flu Clinic Selling 2009 Version Of Vaccine For A Few Bucks Cheaper onion.com/1s3SJcJ pic.twitter.com/IwLfhp9XPc
1d               
195
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Hammond Morris @OnionAdCzar
Did some searching online and found this promo video for @BLAHAirlines. My struggle is real flyblahairlines.com
1d Retweeted by TheOnion               
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The Onion @TheOnion
Moronic Mailroom Worker Worked Way Down From CEO onion.com/1s3MOnX pic.twitter.com/EG3FXBYZPA
1d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
New Election Ruling Allows Candidates To Remain Completely Anonymous Throughout Campaign onion.com/1s3FXuP pic.twitter.com/msHJ6Kj4C4
1d               
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ClickHole @ClickHole
It’s Time To Have A National Conversation That Doesn’t Include Input From Celebrities, Because Yikes clickhole.com/r/1206tsd
1d Retweeted by TheOnion               
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The Onion @TheOnion
"I am horrified, and not in a good way." onion.com/1wsEu7E pic.twitter.com/ffDoTcya54
1d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
ONN Exclusive: A One-On-One Interview With God onion.com/1wsCVXc pic.twitter.com/xps3bLenH3
1d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
[American Voices] Funeral Home Offering Drive-Thru Open Casket Lane onion.com/1wsBdVR #WhatDoYouThink?
1d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
#Sponsored: Read The Onion's special coverage on breakfast, brought to you by Chobani: onion.com/1wsAtjF
1d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
In The News: onion.com/1wsAbsW pic.twitter.com/kBS7fBk0Ef
1d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
Media Stumped On How To Handle Missing Mixed-Race Woman onion.com/1wszbFc pic.twitter.com/ZaVm7uOuzX
1d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
9% of poll respondents said, "Yes. It’s awkward when my boss is paid less than me." onion.com/1yfw3vF pic.twitter.com/wEl1BkJVy0
1d               
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Hammond Morris @OnionAdCzar
Leftover pizza doesn't have to define your mornings. Join the fight. #StopSadBreakfast with @Chobani onion.com/1yfrmSI
1d Retweeted by TheOnion               
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The Onion @TheOnion
In Focus: Oscar Pistorius | The Onion's Tips For Not Accidentally Murdering Your Girlfriend onion.com/1yfpYiK pic.twitter.com/36AArQPvFU
1d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
Buck up: You still have a lot of life ahead of you, even if the good part was over years ago. | Your Horoscopes: onion.com/1yfmZqw
1d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
From The Archives | Report: States Quietly Raising Speed Limits Near Failing Schools onion.com/ZEx1W2
1d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
Man Coasting Through Life Entirely On Benefit Of Doubt onion.com/1yclidx pic.twitter.com/kbMrS44Yoz
2d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
Nurse Being Treated For Ebola Impressed With Health Workers’ New Gear onion.com/1yclg5v
2d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
Man Now Too Exhausted To Repress Both Anger And Sadness onion.com/1ycl4TO pic.twitter.com/iflNFSKe2N
2d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
"By our estimates, the crop is now consuming 100 acres of land per hour.” onion.com/1yckCVy pic.twitter.com/OPqQ5aNi2a
2d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
After Careful Thought, Teen Applies To College Where Family Donated Building onion.com/1ycknKa pic.twitter.com/y0uF4qmo3u
2d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
Here is an up-to-date map that can help you track Ebola across the U.S. onion.com/1ycjL7a pic.twitter.com/4OKNTYjhJ8
2d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
[American Voices] Pope Francis: ‘God Is Not Afraid Of New Things’ onion.com/1tFL4sB #WhatDoYouThink?
2d               
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Onion Sports Network @OnionSports
Onion Sports presents its winners and losers from the seventh week of the NFL season onion.com/1tFIbYw pic.twitter.com/riCIrL5Wmj
2d Retweeted by TheOnion               
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ClickHole @ClickHole
WATCH: clickhole.com/r/1236tsd pic.twitter.com/XrrhSlKl7v
2d Retweeted by TheOnion               
466
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The Onion @TheOnion
Man Coasting Through Life Entirely On Benefit Of Doubt onion.com/1uvgWdP pic.twitter.com/LGb0O6L6NQ
2d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
Nurse Being Treated For Ebola Impressed With Health Workers’ New Gear onion.com/1uv7ZRE pic.twitter.com/8H1bzUpIUu
2d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
On #ToughSeason, Brad finally gets knocked back to Earth by rising Cameron The Intern onion.com/1uv2xyo #SPON pic.twitter.com/7oCqxFH7Mc
2d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
In Focus: Nazi SS Cemetery Desecrated By Pro-Semitic Graffiti onion.com/1uuZ7vn pic.twitter.com/YBvzWRDHBS
2d               
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Hammond Morris @OnionAdCzar
You haven’t witnessed sport until you’ve seen the Teddy Bear Cage Fighting event at the Schick Xtreme Comfort Games onion.com/1w6Hsi3
2d Retweeted by TheOnion               
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The Onion @TheOnion
Disillusioned Hollywood Sign Moves Back To Small Iowa Farm Town onion.com/1uuPPj2 pic.twitter.com/iJ8Up43vtb
2d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
Man Now Too Exhausted To Repress Both Anger And Sadness onion.com/11YkSx4 pic.twitter.com/Ex0HHZS9x1
2d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
Officials say Indianapolis is now 60 percent corn onion.com/11YfUQI pic.twitter.com/9L6C0BDhLW
2d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
Monsanto Harvest-Resistant Corn Now Engulfing Most Of Midwest onion.com/ZD0Hmj pic.twitter.com/rwsFsZAlwQ
2d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
After Careful Thought, Teen Applies To College Where Family Donated Building onion.com/1r1HXEy pic.twitter.com/auqjesnQb5
2d               
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ClickHole @ClickHole
Get ready for a trip down memory lane! clickhole.com/r/1171tsd pic.twitter.com/oyEL8EAhYD
2d Retweeted by TheOnion               
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The Onion @TheOnion
Post-epidemic tribes will refer to this site as “the darkness lands” | Track Ebola in the U.S. onion.com/1tF9vGp pic.twitter.com/dwLVnQMIyl
2d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
Here is an up-to-date map that can help you track Ebola across the U.S. onion.com/1tF5S3e pic.twitter.com/b2XjlqC0Tv
2d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
Smoke Detector Saves Family From Buying New Batteries For Remote onion.com/1tF4eyO pic.twitter.com/4y2Jr0B7El
2d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
The Week In Pictures – Week Of October 20, 2014 onion.com/1tF1jpI pic.twitter.com/w1U3F0ZaS5
2d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
[American Voices] “Once I die, I’m going to be so beautiful.” onion.com/1tEY15V pic.twitter.com/gQIFGrqxPI
2d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
Editorial Cartoon: 'Vampire Diaries' onion.com/1tETxw3 pic.twitter.com/W0QrXDfzIT
2d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
From The Archives: Loser Friend Sort Of Doing Better onion.com/1wqI7uO
2d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
Jerry Jones Vows Cowboys Stadium Will Be Most Spectacular Ebola Quarantine Center Ever onion.com/1wWT850
3d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
Bitter Concession Speeches The Only Things Americans Looking Forward To In Upcoming Midterms onion.com/1wWSQv0
3d               
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ClickHole @ClickHole
This Man Accidentally Took A Photo Of The Inside Of His Pocket Every Day For A Year clickhole.com/r/1199tsd pic.twitter.com/x8NcuNYFEm
3d Retweeted by TheOnion               
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The Onion @TheOnion
Top Story | Report: More Americans Saving Money For Child’s Unemployment onion.com/1wWSiVP
3d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
University of Notre Dame: Connection to God now five times deeper onion.com/1FlZmS7 pic.twitter.com/A15MtXIvuu
3d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
In Business News: Facebook Offers To Freeze Female Employee’s Newborn Children onion.com/1FlYz3v pic.twitter.com/fsWsoCoBwG
3d               
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ClickHole @ClickHole
Finally! A Social Media Site With No Ads, Pictures, Words, Colors, Or Content clickhole.com/r/1170tsd pic.twitter.com/UV6fMa5y7v
3d Retweeted by TheOnion               
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The Onion @TheOnion
Study: NFL Referees May Be Biased Toward Disciplined Teams onion.com/1FlXyIH pic.twitter.com/QAgYwYrQaL
3d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
In Local News: Man Realizes He Only One Of College Friends Falling Out Of Touch onion.com/1FlSZOK pic.twitter.com/ambXvL5ffZ
3d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
This Week Last Year: 10 Sandwiches That Look Like British Novelist Martin Amis onion.com/1FlSAM9 pic.twitter.com/RjA4C8G9H6
3d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
Fantasy guru @PerryBigwell says @JoiqueBell is Week 7’s Must Start, which means Bell is doomed onion.com/1FlRuQr pic.twitter.com/lsH1JQHACe
3d               
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The Onion @TheOnion
In Local News: Lifelong Dream No Match For First Brush With Adversity onion.com/1FlPiIO pic.twitter.com/Gz4YEUKy9h
3d               
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