Oof. One of my all time favorites...
Mazel tov! First dance song?
My friends at want to hear stories about random acts of kindness. Use the tag and share your story!
When you wake up to rap-singing over the Isley Brothers, you know it's gonna be a good Tuesday.
Most of my understanding of the contemporary American workplace I get from watching The Office.
Holy lord. Just re-watched Last King of Scotland...Movies don't get too much better than that.
How has no one started an unreliable sleeper-sofa chain called The Pull-Out Method?
I've spent 25 years puzzling over the hidden meaning of skidda-ma-rink-a-dink-a-dink, skidda-ma-rinky-doo.
I heard this recently & was touched by his humility, candor & grace. WTF with Marc Maron Interview- Robin Williams VIDEO
As a 30 year-old white American male, I am at least 20 percent douchebag.
Today I am retiring from service one history's great pairs of leisure trousers. You will be missed, Chillster Pants..
Staying Ebola-free is as simple as avoiding the steam room at your local 24-Hour Fitness.
I remember the 80's, when a salad was a salad: Just some wilted iceberg lettuce & a couple carrots floating in a sea of Zesty Italian.
The Middle East is imploding, Russia is shooting passenger planes out of the sky & Ebola is an actual thing. On the plus side, Sharknado 2.
Very excited to be a special guest on THIS Wednesday at 8pm in Hollywood... You should come. Unless you live very far away.
A fascinating read on the politics of failed diplomacy... via
But Israel's "right to defend herself" is starting to look a whole lot like her "right to annihilate Gaza".
To be clear: I don't condone Hamas' actions either...
Brand new Captain Planet single premiered today at ! "In The Gray" is "a…
Dear Mr. Netanyahu,
There is a word for an 80 percent civilian casualty rate: terrorism.
A concerned Jew
As we dissect Lebron James' future prospects in Cleveland, let's take a moment for Gaza, currently being reduced to rubble...
The crowd camera is a total creeper.
Kinda seems like South America JUST discovered the mohawk.
Once you hit 30 Tiger Balm doubles as body lotion.
Obviously Brazil is gonna win this thing. They've got Fred, Hulk & a young Sammy Davis Junior.
Watch and pay tribute to the city of angels (and themselves):
When I adopt a child, I'm gonna go around in that super self-righteous tone telling everybody he's a rescue.
At this point I feel confident that Game of Thrones has validated my Magic: The Gathering phase.
The end of Edge of Tomorrow makes total sense. Just like the guy at the bus stop wearing the trash bag muumuu & Hello Kitty slippers does.
Kinder: It's Tinder. For small children. Eat your heart out, Zuckerberg.
In a shocking twist, sources reveal Sgt. Bergdahl spent the last five years in his father's beard.
Maybe not surprisingly, witnessing another man's skull implosion minutes before bedding down for the night leads to some EFFED UP dreams.
The long nightmare is over. You can now watch 's L.A. Rangers on YouTube:
My Thursday nights are decidedly less funky these days... Wish I had been there.
Yeah!!! RT : premieres the brand new Captain Planet () single featuring
Holy Mother of God! The finale is LIVE!!! Featuring the inimitable ... Like whaaat? All the meta magic on
The finale is tonight. No biggie.
See like you never have before on L.A. Rangers:
I'm pretty sure Donald Sterling played the bad guy in Iron Man 2.
My ABSOLUTE favorite ep of is LIVE! It's Anime-zing. (See what I did there?) Watch it. Like right now.
I don't think my mom watches Game of Thrones, but she sure seems to understand the principle of trial by combat.
Get locked up with on a sci-fi themed episode of his new comedy, L.A. Rangers:
Oh. AND there's BRAND NEW episode of on !!!!
Cancun International Airport may just be the world's best advertisement for sunblock. And birth control.
Run to your nearest internet-sponsored appliance! 2 NEW EPISODES of are LIVE on
See the L.A. Rangers embrace their inner-Tarantino on two new episodes at :
Check out my big bro 's new muzics. Saucy retro-pop goodness just in time for summer… Get Gone by Shana
Mad drama on tonight. If you're into that sorta thing.
Super excited to be part of 's live show tomorrow night! Big ups to badass young women writers!! Buy tix:
Be kind to animals: watch LA Rangers. ": was awesome. can't wait for the next episode!! ”
Holy smokes! It's REALLY HAPPENING! The first 2 episodes of L.A. RANGERS are streaming on : …
"Man Cuts Off Penis, Jumps Off North Hollywood Balcony, Lives ” Looks like somebody had a bad case of the Wednesdays.
. & went acoustic at the premiere of their new comedy L.A. Rangers, coming SOON to .
Hallelujah! The first 5 episodes of are FINALLY up on YouTube!!!! Final 4 will drop next week... VIDEO
'L.A. Rangers' from 's will premiere on this week
Aaand later today will FINALLY be available on YouTube in all it's dumb fresh glory! Booyah! via VIDEO
Plus this amazingness: LA RANGERS premieres NEXT WEEK on the ! Whet your whistles with psychedelic magic...
LOTS of big news. Starting with the obvious: returns TONIGHT at a new time. 9pm after ... So that's rad.
EXCLUSIVE: 's 'L.A. Rangers' Comedy Series Debuts New Trailer, First Poster
L.A. Rangers is coming… Stay tuned.
An unwavering love of R. Kelly is perhaps my greatest moral deficiency.
"Black eye" will never not sound like "black guy".
Raspberry vinaigrette used to be my shit. Then I realized I was basically covering my salads with melted sorbet. Now I stick with ranch.
Many thanks to for hosting a beautiful birthday dinner for my family and friends... Needless to say, we go…
Some people call it Turning 30. I call it Turning Awesome... Thanks for all the birthday wishes.
Dear Guy in the Elevator,
You can ride a Segway or you can wear Google Glass. But you can't do both.
Ziggy is totally the Jermaine of the Marley clan.
Sure, I still rock out to Counting Crows from time to time. Who doesn't? ... No, seriously. Who doesn't??? Because fuck them.
At this point, the only criteria for giving a TEDtalk is that the speaker has a basic understanding of PowerPoint & owns a blazer.
I always kinda felt like telling Desire'e to mind her own damn business. Who the fuck is SHE to tell me who I'VE gotta be?
Who? Who will be the American hero to re-issue the entire Co-Ed Naked t-shirt catalogue?
A. O. Scott on Philip Seymour Hoffman
Spark doobie. Mute "Her". Wait till third lion roar. Cue Zapp & Roger "Computer Love". Get mind blown.
I don't hug. I touch nipples.
My Pinterest board is a cry for help.
I'm pretty sure that by clicking "okay" to my iTunes user agreement, I'm authorizing the NSA to unconditionally fuck me in perpetuity.
is on TONIGHT. But you probably don't care. You follow me to for my endlessly insightful musings on life.. No? Fine. Viva Wade!
Nothing like a good old fashioned early-nineties boob job.
Come on, guys. If your name translated to Shitty TheBeef, you'd be a jerk too.
Is it weird that the Virgin America safety instructions song is my favorite track of 2013?
I just realized that I have more Twitter followers than Donald Rumsfeld. Which is, I think, a victory of some kind.
Purchase tickets and contribute to this wonderful charity today. (Use promo code "HOPE" for discounted tix).
Come swill champagne with me & my pals & @rochellesaytes at the Saving Innocence Gala this Thursday 12/5.
My shaman is doper than your shaman.
Thrilled to be joining the cast of "The Columnist", running November 14-17th in LA. Grab tix at !
God knows why, but the have invited me to sully their venerable stage tomorrow night. 8pm. Grab tix online.
Radio Shack: Serving No One since 1988.
I knew Gravity was going to be intense... but nothing could have prepared me for ol' Sandy Bullock's booty shorts.
This will be a day for the history books. returns at 8pm... aaaand I had my first ever .
An open letter to House Republicans: I want my country back. Thank you.
Sure, his life is a smoldering heap of shit... but at least Jesse Pinkman is the proud owner of a 1985 El Camino.
I spent my weekend watching Degrassi re-runs, hoping to learn from a young whether or not nothing is, in fact, the same.
Syria is gassing civilians, Miley Cyrus is considered a role model & global warming is real...on the upside, pumpkin spice lattes are back.
Nobody talks about Dr. King's OTHER dream. The one with the talking squirrel & the pancake buffet & the US women's gymastic team...
Bradley Manning: "Sometimes You Have to Pay a Heavy Price to Live in a Free Society"
By which I mean I have complicated business relationships, enjoy cooking & consider character growth both inevitable & perhaps dangerous.
My life is just like Breaking Bad... minus the meth, the sidekick, the murderous rampages, and even a basic understanding of chemistry...
When somebody says "long story short", find a comfortable seat. You're about to hear a very full-length story.
I will always remember the summer of 2013 as the time I was introduced to every girl in America's lower butt crease. Thanks jorts!