Twopcharts
Last 100 tweetsCheck out the last 100 tweets of the user, with videos and, thumbnails of the pictures, and expanded url's embedded in the tweet.
@
ImageNameLocationTwitter sinceLinks
Dane CookDirect2Dane@DaneCook.com2009-02-16
@DaneCook1,888 days
When I tweet, I tweet to kill.
FollowersFollowingTweetsListsFavorites
3,043,4823177,73121,069181
Dane Cook @DaneCook
Every time this commercial comes on all I think is Captain Big Win here's gonna get rolled in the… instagram.com/p/m9hvJjgAhF/
5h               
26
7
Dane Cook @DaneCook
I don't have a spirit animal but I do have a shitty neighbor.
8h               
592
337
Dane Cook @DaneCook
If a girl has a little freckle on her nose she is basically down for whatever.
9h               
543
295
Dane Cook @DaneCook
#TheBestPartAbout being a comedian is all the free buffalo wings.
10h               
353
58
Dane Cook @DaneCook
Hey .@Abercrombie can you maybe pump some more of that cologne into the air?
I reek so bad my girl think I'm sleeping with you.
12h               
350
132
Dane Cook @DaneCook
Why the disabled person gotta have a smaller head? instagram.com/p/m8yZFNAAi1/
12h               
78
42
Dane Cook @DaneCook
I don't win because I'm better.
I succeed because you're worse than you give yourself credit for. And I know how to adapt.
14h               
460
317
Dane Cook @DaneCook
I would love to see DeNiro lying to get out of a ticket.
17h               
295
153
Dane Cook @DaneCook
I'm headlining the Laugh Factory Hollywood at 10 tonight and tomorrow. Get down there.
18h               
128
21
Dane Cook @DaneCook
"Who the fahk give care buddy. Be like a ball. You go higher des people essplode demselves." - Masada
I just literally laughed my face off.
1d               
124
27
Dane Cook @DaneCook
Whenever you spot a moving van in your neighborhood there's always a wooden chair in the back that you never see when you visit the house.
1d               
165
42
J.D. Karpicke @jaybles21
About 14 years ago I went to see @DaneCook at the #houston #laffstop following the release of his… instagram.com/p/m5hdmEPKw-/
1d Retweeted by DaneCook               
23
5
Laugh Factory @thelaughfactory
Old-school, we love it! MT @valle5 #TBT to the time me & @_kittysoftpaaws caught @DaneCook at the laugh factory instagram.com/p/m5mVC3RA48/
1d Retweeted by DaneCook               
11
4
Marycela Nochez ッ @WannaChela
Surprise drop-in at @ImprovComedyLA: @DaneCook & @amyschumer! Freakin' awesome!
2d Retweeted by DaneCook               
17
16
Dane Cook @DaneCook
I wish there was a stay lost and not found.
2d               
523
478
Dane Cook @DaneCook
I was never a cutter but I was a stirrer.
2d               
132
58
Dane Cook @DaneCook
If all of your dreams came true?
ALL OF THEM? That'd be a fuckin' hassle.
Managing one dream is hard enough. But ALL of them?
2d               
308
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
Sometimes when I have sex I pull my own hair.
2d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
I made a gift horse look into my mouth.
2d               
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78
Dane Cook @DaneCook
@theskylerstone @IamLuisGuzman or we could skip that and watch Children of Men instead.
2d in reply to theskylerstone               
1
Dane Cook @DaneCook
Some people grow old gracelessly.
2d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
If you do a tiny bit of what you love every day it grows.
My career started off with one 5 minute set at a dark hole in the wall.
2d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
4-Year-Old Boy Honored With Touching Star Wars Funeral
cinemablend.com/new/4-Year-Boy…
via @cinemablend

May the force be with you Jack.
Always.
2d               
285
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
The term "nothing personal" means "this is 100% totally personal."
2d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
This is just incredible.

Jeff Bauman: Thank you Boston! bostonherald.com/node/1064177496
via @bostonherald #BostonStrong
3d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
@PatrishRauccio very next one is so good
3d in reply to PatrishRauccio               
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1
Dane Cook @DaneCook
@ShantelleSuave it's something you're just born with
3d in reply to ShantelleSuave               
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1
Dane Cook @DaneCook
@gutowhatever 8th grade
3d in reply to gutowhatever               
1
Dane Cook @DaneCook
@JoNoo_ feels nice
3d in reply to JoNoo_               
2
1
Dane Cook @DaneCook
@bdeavenport every one of them
3d in reply to bdeavenport               
Dane Cook @DaneCook
@emsio23 I like the one with the ending that feels good
3d in reply to emsio23               
3
2
Dane Cook @DaneCook
@Chance_Dummitt yup
3d in reply to Chance_Dummitt               
3
1
Dane Cook @DaneCook
@GarrettParkerrr it all just clicked onstage
3d in reply to GarrettParkerrr               
Dane Cook @DaneCook
@beauch60 in front of a pack of wolves
3d in reply to beauch60               
2
1
Dane Cook @DaneCook
@LJLiner myself
3d in reply to LJLiner               
1
1
Dane Cook @DaneCook
@robertorlando13 soon
3d in reply to robertorlando13               
5
1
Dane Cook @DaneCook
@ambern1984 most likely
3d in reply to ambern1984               
7
Dane Cook @DaneCook
30 minutes of #AskDane starting now. *please include the hashtag #AskDane or #AskDane
3d               
113
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
I wonder if Superman ever has to shit.
3d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
I have not been sexually active since noon.
3d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
#BostonStrong instagram.com/p/m0lQiogAss/
3d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
#Bloodmoon sounds like an unreleased AC/DC album.
4d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
Huge loss for the comedy world.
@OttoAndGeorge - Truly funny.
4d               
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20
Dane Cook @DaneCook
7 years ago today my pops passed away. George Cook was so old school that he actually saw it being… instagram.com/p/mx_hbCAAu0/
4d               
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40
Dane Cook @DaneCook
You know you over pray when you hear a booming voice from the sky say, "NO."
4d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
I feel you outside of me.
5d               
247
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
There are a lot of sluts online today.
5d               
649
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
Something about the sound of distant sirens makes me feel like I'm home.
5d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
Okay.
Since all other theories are garbage.
That missing plane?
Maybe it flew straight up and is orbiting?
Might as well check it out.
5d               
539
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
#Coachella Is insane! instagram.com/p/mvjAcSgAqb/
5d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
Your feelings are important.

To you.
6d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
My show at the Laugh Factory Hollywood 10 show is filling up fast. Come have times that are a nice.
6d               
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10
Dane Cook @DaneCook
@attell Good luck with the thing on the thing.
6d in reply to attell               
58
10
Dane Cook @DaneCook
Describe your ex in 3 emoji.
Use --> #DescribeYourExIn3Emoji
6d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
🌚💸💩
6d               
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57
Dane Cook @DaneCook
Describe your ex in 3 emoji.
6d               
205
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
@dominiquepiek you're a mangy lookin' broad with #nofilter but at least you have a 1/4 personality.
6d in reply to dominiquepiek               
3
1
Dane Cook @DaneCook
#NoRestForTheWicked #NotEvenOnSaturdays instagram.com/p/mtlyRzgAgl/
6d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
My fellow Boston pal .@ChrisEvans friggin' killed it in Captain America: The Winter Soldier.
A political thriller with superheroes. #seeit
6d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
Nothing described as "mid-air" ever has a positive conclusion.
6d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
My foreplay is so advanced and well executed that I'm actually doing it to you right now.
6d               
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340
Dane Cook @DaneCook
#wow instagram.com/p/mtL0GJgAjK/
6d               
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10
Dane Cook @DaneCook
@TheRichardLewis what an outstanding ceremony today. Great seeing you man.
#Fearful
6d in reply to TheRichardLewis               
5
Dane Cook @DaneCook
The Laugh Factory - 10 show - in Hollywood tonight is gonna be an insanely good lineup. I'm closing it out. Come. Laugh. Be.
7d               
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26
Dane Cook @DaneCook
If you are at Coachella I hope you have an amazing conclusion as to why you went there in the first place.
7d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
Sometimes during sex I call 911 and report an "emergency awesome in progress."
7d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
Back when I was a mash up of Huey Lewis and the News lead singer and Styles from Teen Wolf. (Shirt:… instagram.com/p/moh-nDgArm/
8d               
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29
Dane Cook @DaneCook
Are there any warm blooded killers?
9d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
If you don't write down your goals how will people know what you were trying to accomplish when you suddenly die?
9d               
568
406
Dane Cook @DaneCook
Sometimes during sex I call out my own name in vein.
11d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
You know you're a great hater when you have fans who love you for it.
11d               
518
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
So many huge updates coming for you guys.
I toldja 2014 was gonna be a big one. #StayTuned
11d               
278
33
Dane Cook @DaneCook
If your movie doesn't have a bonus scene after the end credits you really have not made a satisfying movie.
11d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
John Pinette and I worked on a film together. He was one of the most generous people I've ever worked with. A hilarious comedian. Sad loss.
12d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
I'm at the Laugh Factory tonight and tomorrow - 10 o'clock show. Come get Cooked.
14d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
I just got mistaken for Dane Cook.
15d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
A half dozen of my proudest career moments, appearing on Late Show w/ David Letterman. Thx Dave for my network debut. #BroadcastingLegend.
15d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
Sometimes right before sex I watch Avatar.
15d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
My first threesome.
#tbt instagram.com/p/mVs_euAAqj/
15d               
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44
Dane Cook @DaneCook
Women deserve more credit for putting up with us men and our bullshit.
Hey ... fellas lets all thank women!!!
#ThankYouWomen
16d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
I'm not saying my last relationship was bad but we referred to each other as soul inmates.
16d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
Surprise someone you love today by threatening their life!
16d               
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KristenHanchett @maui808hulagirl
@DaneCook OH YES!! He is funny as hell! Thanks for making me laugh every time I watch ur movies or shows pic.twitter.com/cCSdO5iOUB
16d in reply to DaneCookRetweeted by DaneCook               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
Hey pups... The trailer for my new indie film Graduation Day is here: youtu.be/bbjRORN4htM
17d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
Sometimes during sex I pretend I'm a scared virgin and I cry into her open mouth.
17d               
517
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Darth Vader @DepressedDarth
Tomorrow's weather on Alderaan pic.twitter.com/vnnilyDm6b
17d Retweeted by DaneCook               
999
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
Look at what .@amyschumer just text me. pic.twitter.com/IPug8Kl2fE
17d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
My mom, Donna, would have been 74 today. Happy bday to my biggest fan and my toughest critic.
Her… instagram.com/p/mQdXdlgAok/
17d               
485
41
Dane Cook @DaneCook
If you just bought the No No Pro you've lost all hope.
18d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
.@QueenBrieVee86 said: "@DaneCook old school drawing. Can I call u Dane Cock?" pic.twitter.com/MySL7VXf2d
18d               
89
6
Dane Cook @DaneCook
Never let them see you die.
18d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
LA via drone. instagram.com/p/mOstiSgAkX/
18d               
48
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
.@TheKevinHBrand: "@DaneCook what's your opinion of Amy Schumer?”
- 1 of my favs. She makes me laugh out loud. But she's a horrible wife.
18d               
92
10
Dane Cook @DaneCook
There are a lot of original new comedians working today.
A couple of hacks too.
But most of these guys are top notch.
18d               
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27
Dane Cook @DaneCook
Sometimes during sex I like to hold on super tight and pretend we are inside a tornado.
18d               
591
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
I hate recaps.
Once again.
I ... meaning me.
Hate ... as in deep loathing.
Recaps ... you know, like a reiteration.
18d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
Shout your dreams from a mountain plateau alone at the top of your lungs.
Listen to them echo and fade.
Now THAT'S how life works.
18d               
329
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
Getting in shape for my next film.
I play a young Jewish girl during a very magical summer in 1968. instagram.com/p/mOPXCmAAsR/
18d               
149
38
Dane Cook @DaneCook
If you live in a sketchy area and wear noise canceling headphones at night you're the injured prey the tiger is about to pounce on.
19d               
528
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
Fine, I'll say it.
Panda bears come across fucking dumb as shit.
20d               
745
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