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@
ImageNameLocationTwitter sinceLinks
Dane CookDirect2Dane@DaneCook.com2009-02-16
@DaneCook2,073 days
When I tweet, I tweet to kill.
FollowersFollowingTweetsListsFavorites
3,042,3286109,55020,941400
Dane Cook @DaneCook
.@tomgreenlive said: Dane Cook Talks Early Internet: youtu.be/ZcikzRkh8LI
Thanks @DaneCook for stopping by the show!

- Anytime Tom!
3h               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
If anyone has any #DaneCook #Troublemaker memes post them here with those hashtags and I will RT or FAV a bunch now.
4h               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
@LaLaLeisha Nope look it up LL it's bye week.
5h in reply to LaLaLeisha               
Dane Cook @DaneCook
That irritating "time of the month" for men is when our football team has a bye week.
7h               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
A few women I know are having their periods.
I'm guessing most of you have synced up & sexually for men this is a bye week.
7h               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
Spending some quality minutes over the weekend with a few funny kids, a club owner & a… instagram.com/p/uY4f28AAgr/
8h               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
You’re always the best in your field if you’re creating the field.
8h               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
I did dozens of interviews last week. This quote accidently fell out of my mouth. I wanted to share it with you all. It might just help.
8h               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
You can't rain on my parade because I've already designed it to be aquatic themed.
9h               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
UPDATE on sweaty butt in front of me. After a sprint it now looks like a reservoir filled with Macintosh computers.
10h               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
@LensPunk: @DaneCook should this be the first face I see heading to the crapper? pic.twitter.com/xWqd8e8COY

-- Ha. That's so wrong.
10h               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
This person at the gym sweat a Rorschach test on their ass.
I see an industrial complex with a moat of ninja stars & trombones.
10h               
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Co.Create @FastCoCreate
How @DaneCook learned to say no, slow down, and change the conversation: f-st.co/9uEcrgC by @JoeBerkowitz pic.twitter.com/t3kVTrMobU
13h Retweeted by DaneCook               
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LaughSpin.com @laughspincom
The @DaneCook episode of The Laughspin Podcast is now live! Check it out. laughspin.com/2014/10/20/dan… pic.twitter.com/jj3uRwuExl
13h Retweeted by DaneCook               
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Liz @standinNsmilin
@DaneCook Did NOT think anything would ever top Vicious Circle for me, but damn if I wasn't hysterical watching Troublemaker. #thanks dude!
13h in reply to DaneCookRetweeted by DaneCook               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
Guess where I'm not?
22h               
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Larry King @kingsthings
The @DaneCook Special on Showtime is terrific.
23h Retweeted by DaneCook               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
@mrgarelick: @DaneCook dot com! Ha! Laughing my ass off at the new special #Troublemaker

Thx brother !
1d               
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K. Davis @1KDavis
I am DYING laughing at @DaneCook #troublemaker freaking HYSTERICAL! 😂😂🎉💐🍌🔫
1d Retweeted by DaneCook               
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Belle Martorano @missleelabelle
Immediately bought tickets for @DaneCook at the @BeaconTheatre after watching #Troublemaker tonight. No regrets.
1d Retweeted by DaneCook               
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Julia @JuJuBeeGrrl
@DaneCook That last joke...holy shit. lol!
1d in reply to DaneCookRetweeted by DaneCook               
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K. Davis @1KDavis
"Textplanation" what a great word! #troublemaker @DaneCook
1d Retweeted by DaneCook               
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Paul Thomas Stephens @pspackers715
@DaneCook when can I get #Troublemaker on DVD?? I need to watch it so I can laugh hysterically for hours on end
1d in reply to DaneCookRetweeted by DaneCook               
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Shane Puhlman @SPuhlman
Just watched @DaneCook 's new special and the king is back...you are the man Dane
1d Retweeted by DaneCook               
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Debbie Dillard @debbie_dillard
@DaneCook you are a very funny man & all kinds of wrong. Continue. Yes, please. ❤️#BatchOfBitches
1d in reply to DaneCookRetweeted by DaneCook               
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SweetLee @Lisak07
@DaneCook So after watching #Troublemaker with my mom she now is on to Vicious Circle and MSG. She just pulled her rib from laughing
1d in reply to DaneCookRetweeted by DaneCook               
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Melissa McCarty @MelissaMcCarty1
@DaneCook #Troublemaker was hysterical! Well done. You've still got it. 😂 & people don't realize all the charitable work u and Jamie do! 👍💩
1d in reply to DaneCookRetweeted by DaneCook               
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Chance Nichols @ChanceTheActor
@DaneCook great special dude, #Troublemaker solidifies your place in comedy history. Also, if I need fatherly advice, can I come to you?
1d in reply to DaneCookRetweeted by DaneCook               
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JJxx101 @JJxx101
Fuck you @DaneCook now my wife wants to see my phone.
1d Retweeted by DaneCook               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
Hey east coast why dontcha hashtag #DaneCook & let the west coast know some of your fav lines in the special starting at 7:30 on Showtime 2.
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
@RjMitte @MatthewZiff you too man
2d in reply to RjMitte               
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A V @AV_1998
New favourite word: Shit Bum @DaneCook
2d Retweeted by DaneCook               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
.@McKaylaMaroney it actually airs tonight at 7:30 on Showtime 2! This link has all the dates/times for reairing: sho.com/sho/comedy/tit…
2d in reply to McKaylaMaroney               
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McKayla Maroney @McKaylaMaroney
OH YAH GUYS don't miss the hilarious #Troublemaker w/ my friend @DaneCook tonight at 10 on showtime!! #DaneCook youtube.com/watch?v=9_FTdK…
2d Retweeted by DaneCook               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
Last message. instagram.com/p/uSKTiogArP/
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Sara Scheppmann @SaraScheppmann
Lessons learned from @DaneCook don't let yourself get racist hungry #Troublemaker
2d Retweeted by DaneCook               
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Bryce Fresquez @Bfresquez30
@DaneCook you are the only reason why I have been on Twitter in months just to tweet how funny #Troublemaker is everyone must watch this
2d in reply to DaneCookRetweeted by DaneCook               
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Joseph Reyes @goomysone
@DaneCook You had the greatest closer ever....your a true Trouble Maker
2d in reply to DaneCookRetweeted by DaneCook               
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shae baby @mrsxrager
fucking @DaneCook is my king
2d Retweeted by DaneCook               
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Jessica Gray @GraphicJGray
I was having a spectacularly horrible week and needed to laugh, so thank you to @DaneCook #Troublemaker had me rolling!
2d Retweeted by DaneCook               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
@Handsofjoymsge: @DaneCook and saw you live in Vegas- 2008. Congrats and thanks for the hilarity!!”

-- More to come!!
2d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
@stevenontour: @DaneCook will troublemaker air in Europe or do I need to download it *ahem* "legitimately"?”

-- soon
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
@TerikaaaBabyy: @DaneCook Ugh I haven't laughed that hard in months!! Thank you so much for that #Troublemaker

-- you're welcome!!
2d               
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James Hallinan @JamesHallinan
Only 23 minutes in and @DaneCook's new special is awesome
2d Retweeted by DaneCook               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
@petedavidson: @DaneCook great special man!!! So glad to see you back in action”

-- thx Pete and you are doing it now! Onward.
2d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
@mpratl17: Find myself quoting @DaneCook very often these days”

-- me too
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
I love this part where I talk about my ex. All this computer stuff was so crazy when it was happening I was upset but knowing it was funny.
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
@rahymundoe: You are one funny motherfucker, motherfucker. @DaneCook

-- I try
2d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
@Courtneyylynn97: Just a small town girl in a snow globe world. Let's shake things up 💁 -@DaneCook

- Real shit I found
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
@_leilaniii: Seriously.. If you don't like @DaneCook we can't be friends. He is a comedic genius! 😂😭 #Troublemaker

- We can be friends!
2d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
@courtney_j24: Let's be real @DaneCook is the funniest mother fucker alive!!!!”

-- awww Thx girl
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dougbrowning @freshmaker43
@DaneCook I've watched all your specials over the years and this was the best by far dude,Bravo Dane Bravo #Living Legend
2d in reply to DaneCookRetweeted by DaneCook               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
@G4ND4RA218: @DaneCook trouble maker was amazing. So much good info. I must watch it again lol.😂😂”

-- 2nd viewing you see whatcha missed.
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
@NoelElaineOTH: .@DaneCook's description of #GirlDepression is so on point. He's been reading my diary. #Troublemaker

-- YES!!!
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Can Kulahcioglu @CanKulahcioglu
@DaneCook you are the prince of stand up, the is the king of stand up kingdom >>> @CMYLMZ
2d in reply to DaneCookRetweeted by DaneCook               
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Rene Laurin @LaurinRene
@DaneCook is a fucking comedic genius #troublemaker knows my life problems #lol
2d in reply to DaneCookRetweeted by DaneCook               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
@punkscience3: #Troublemaker Admit it, you all have those big old sad sweatpants......@DaneCook

-- stained with tears and treats
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Tori Saylor @tori_saylor
SCREAMING with laughter! How's it feel to be back on your rightful comedy throne, @DaneCook? #DaneCook #Troublemaker
2d Retweeted by DaneCook               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
@Datbitchjen: @DaneCook has the greatest female impersonations #Troublemaker

- thxsssssss
2d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
@huffman_morgan: @DaneCook never disappoints #FridayNight #Troublemaker 😆”

-- i aim to please
2d               
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D.J. Crosby @DarianCrosby23
@DaneCook troublemaker is hilarious. You still got it boss!! pic.twitter.com/ollBXcF2G0
2d in reply to DaneCookRetweeted by DaneCook               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
@carlyaquilino: Laughing hysterical at #Troublemaker on showtime!!! @DaneCook A dolphins smile (🐬🐬)!!! 😂I'm fucking done.”

-- spot on?
2d               
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Stephanie Innello @Stepha_nello
Can we just take a moment to realize how funny @DaneCook is?! #Troublemaker =hilarious! And it made me come to terms on being a racist.
2d Retweeted by DaneCook               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
@ShondaCedeno: @DaneCook Talking about HATER PAGES is so funny. Soul Crusher 11. #LOL #Troublemaker

-- I had to delete SoulCrusher11.
2d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
@OhhhLahhh: Why is @DaneCook talking about my life right now?! #Troublemaker

-- ha
2d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
That's one of my fav moments of the show.
"Relax, I got this. This isn't open mic."
I realized at that point in #Troublemaker I was on.
3d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
@TheJulieRoberts: I'm watching @DaneCook on tv. He is so good (& hot) & bc he's talking about emojis, I'll have to use this 😂😂!”

- 😉
3d               
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Fernanda Romero @FernandaRomeroo
Time to watch guys @DaneCook #Troublemaker on @SHO_Network time to laugh! Venga y felicidades!! pic.twitter.com/Xpv1Tx80Dr
3d Retweeted by DaneCook               
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Savie @Calcio52
@DaneCook really proud of how far you have come. Found you in 1998 and have been a fan ever since. Great Special Man!
3d in reply to DaneCookRetweeted by DaneCook               
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Brandon C D'Ambrosio @DAMbrosio757
@DaneCook is one of the good dudes in the celeb world. He made it through hard work and doing what he loved. Made respect man #Troublemaker
3d in reply to DaneCookRetweeted by DaneCook               
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kimmijax @kimmijax
Everyone should be watching @DaneCook #Troublemaker on @SHO_Network! It is F'ing hilarious!I❤️#DaneCook! #LaughterIsTheBestMedicine
3d Retweeted by DaneCook               
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Ricardo Cervantes @Tr0ubLeSomE
Didn't know @DaneCook 's troublemaker was today till I heard his #unmasked show with Ron #Bennington and loved it! @RonandFezSXM
3d Retweeted by DaneCook               
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Event Diva @EventDivaSC
"Dane Cook Troublemaker" = awesomely politically incorrect and HYSTERICAL! @DaneCook #Troublemaker
3d Retweeted by DaneCook               
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Dakota Allen @kodallen
@DaneCook stoked I get to relive this awesome performance. Btw me and that girl broke up. You the man! #Troublemaker pic.twitter.com/LoZTryq1Up
3d in reply to DaneCookRetweeted by DaneCook               
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Ryan Kelly @kelman26
@DaneCook was hysterical in his new special "Troublemaker". Most definitely a comeback! Watch his showtime special! #DaneCook #Troublemaker
3d in reply to DaneCookRetweeted by DaneCook               
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Spencer Kirksey @Pablo_El_Diablo
@DaneCook was as funny as ever in #Troublemaker! #BatchOfBitches
3d in reply to DaneCookRetweeted by DaneCook               
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Richard schaefer @REDzZz3113
@DaneCook troublemaker was one of the best stand ups I've seen.
3d in reply to DaneCookRetweeted by DaneCook               
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Chip Douglas @CasinMason
@DaneCook bro. The exploding pussy line made me blow salsa through my nose. Hilarious!
3d in reply to DaneCookRetweeted by DaneCook               
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Megan Brown @MegBbaby
DC I'll never look at 👬 or 💩 the same way again!!! Bahaha #Troublemaker #DaneCook @DaneCook
3d Retweeted by DaneCook               
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HannahRose @hnnhrose
Now watching: @DaneCook Troublemaker... And loving it. Missed this dude 🙌
3d Retweeted by DaneCook               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
I want you all to hear it from me here. #Troublemaker broke the Internet tonight. Wow. Fucking crazy.… instagram.com/p/uR8UNMgAsA/
3d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
West coast we are 1 hour from #Troublemaker and if you saw the east coast going berserk online you know it's a can't miss!
3d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
@mariamenounos @undergaro - haaaaa you two need to go have a baby
3d in reply to mariamenounos               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
.@FloydMayweather thx for the tweet champ but I'm still gonna kick your ass in @MikeTyson Punch-Out!
3d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
.@carlyaquilino I appreciate the social love girl keep kicking' code -- oh and block @deztrogan he should not be allowed in our circle of ha
3d in reply to carlyaquilino               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
.@BethBehrs you're the bethst
3d in reply to BethBehrs               
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UFC @ufc
Hey @DaneCook- No fights for us tonight. We'll be checking out #Troublemaker tonight on @SHO_Network!
youtu.be/9_FTdK29l50
3d Retweeted by DaneCook               
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Larry King @kingsthings
Don't miss the hilarious #Troublemaker w/ my friend @DaneCook tonight at 10 on @SHO_Network . #DaneCook youtu.be/9_FTdK29l50
3d Retweeted by DaneCook               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
@mynamesholly_: S/o to @DaneCook for being one of the funniest mother fuckers alive.”

-- thx so much so great the feedback
3d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
@DisneysBestCM: @DaneCook I'm watching the special on @SHO_Network soon and I'm soooo excited wow. #DaneIsLife #SoFunny

-- Adam enjoy it
3d               
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Amanda Cerny @AmandaCerny
Watching @DaneCook #troublemaker special 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
3d Retweeted by DaneCook               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
I fully agree with myself about watching porn in your relationship together. #Troublemaker
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
@ATFKa: @DaneCook KILLING IT!”

-- working hard MF loving this night
3d               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
@DsmithRVA: Watching @DaneCook on showtime funny as shit #troublemaker #showtime

-- thx man!!
3d               
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Melyssa Kennedy @TheMelyssaK
I challenge you to read the "about me" section of my twitter & see if you cringe. I promise it hasn't changed it since this tweet. @DaneCook
3d Retweeted by DaneCook               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
@19SqueakyKitty: @DaneCook has some big feet. #Troublemaker

- size 22s in European women's sizes.
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
I'm so proud of this special and your comments tonight. Thank you for making #Troublemaker a great debut.
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
#Pussa
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Joe Tricarico @TrickPixels
I'm all done with text jokes now. @DaneCook is still murdering with his texting bit. In tears. #DaneCook #Troublemaker
3d Retweeted by DaneCook               
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Dane Cook @DaneCook
💩
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