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Outrageous Jokes2011-12-01
@outrageousjokes868 days
Follow me for all the most outrageous jokes you will hear! Retweet the ones you like! Business Enquiries: outrageousjokesmgmt@yahoo.com
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Girlfriend: give it to me now I'm so fucking wet!!!

Boyfriend: fuck off this is my umbrella
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
How do you fit 4 gay guys on a bar stool?
Flip it upside down.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
What's the difference between A gay guy & a fridge?

A fridge doesn't fart when you take the meat out.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
This is so true haha! #Girls #FriendZone pic.twitter.com/Fro7BzWqp8
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
The extremely awkward moment when an ugly person calls themselves ugly.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
What's the difference between a penis and a bonus?
Your wife will always blow your bonus!
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Emily Osment @emosmen
@outrageousjokes Just voted
546d in reply to outrageousjokesRetweeted by outrageousjokes               
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
One of the funniest gif's i've ever seen images.cheezburger.com/completestore/…
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
I wonder what fish smelled like before women went swimming?
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
If you're gonna be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
A guy says to a salesgirl, "I want to buy some toilet paper." She says, "What colour?" He says, "Just give me white, I'll colour it myself."
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
My sexual preference is often.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
via @Bar_man_larry What does a pizza boy and a gynaecologist have in common? They can both smell it, but they can't eat it.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Yo mamma's so fat, she's on both sides of the family.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Yo mamma's so fat, her picture weighs ten pounds.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Yo mama is so ugly she walked into a huanted house and came out with an application.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
How do five gay men walk? In One Direction.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
What was the biggest oxymoron of the 1990's? Microsoft Works!
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Mdonna66 @hayward_donna
@outrageousjokes Sex is like wine. When it's good, it's VERY GOOD. When it's bad, it's still pretty good!
749d in reply to outrageousjokesRetweeted by outrageousjokes               
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Lee Kenny @cufcblues
@outrageousjokes
What do women and dog turds have in common?The older they get the easier it is to pick them up.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Tell me your favourite jokes and I'll retweet the best ones!
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Q: What's the difference between light and hard?
A: You can sleep with a LIGHT ON.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
#jokeoftheweek When I'm bored, I send a text message to a random number saying, "I hid the body, now what?"
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Like us on facebook and help us grow! Will be updating on there too from now onwards. facebook.com/pages/Outrageo…
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
#That1FriendThat always backs out of going out when you're on the way to their house.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Fat, single and ready for a pringle!
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Dear Karma,
I have a list of people you missed.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
No. I am not lazy, I am just very protective of my seat.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Next time a bully asks for your lunch money, tell him you left it on his mothers dresser.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Tune in to NBC's brand new fashion reality show. Click here >> mylikes.com/l/1tQPQ - spon
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Roses are red, The grass is green, I want you in my bed, If you know what i mean ;)
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
I didn't slap you... I high-fived your face!
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
I dream of a better tomorrow... where chickens can cross the road without being questioned about their motives.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Are there sex exercises that can make you own the bedroom? Here's how to strengthen the right muscles: mylikes.com/l/1tPFP - spon
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Honestly I DON'T hate you, but if part of you was on fire and I had a glass of water.. I'd drink it.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Teachers call it "cheating" but we call it "teamwork."
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
You know you're ghetto when you wash paper plates.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
They say you are what you eat but I don't remember eating a sexy beast this morning.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Announcer: You've been married for 50 years? Do you have any tips for the ones to be married next.
Old guy: It helps if you're deaf.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
If I were stranded on an island... I'd take Dora with me... she has everything in her bag!
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Exaggeration is like telling the truth but with little sprinkles of lies in it.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
If you're gonna be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Someone told me to go to hell... so I looked back and said, "Sweet let's be neighbors!" with a huge smile on my face.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
When I'm bored, I send a text message to a random number saying, "I hid the body, now what?"
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Zombies are looking for brains. Don't worry. You're safe.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Don't make me mad then tell me to calm down. That's like stabbing someone then wondering why they're bleeding.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Arguing with a woman is like punching a wall she won't care, she always wins and in the end you just end up hurting yourself.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures." -George W. Bush
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take that chance?
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
All generalizations are false, including this one.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
When you're courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. Thats relativity
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Worst excuse for not doing homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
How do five gay men walk?

In One Direction.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
When a man says ladies first it really means you go while I stare at your arse.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
I can't hear you, so I'll just laugh and hope it wasn't a question.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Click here to find out about the new reality show premiering tonight on NBC! mylikes.com/l/1tJRQ - spon
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Ready for an exciting new reality show? The new style competition NBCFashionStar premieres tonight at 9:30/8:30 mylikes.com/l/1tJIR - spon
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hannah @the_wmpk
Volleyball is just a more intense version of "don't let the balloon touch the floor"
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
@TikiTimeBrands hit me with it and we'll see if it is.
765d in reply to ElectUncleTed               
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Send in your jokes and I will retweet the best ones!
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Fat, single and ready for a pringle!
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Click to find out about NBC's brand new fashion show starting this Tuesday mylikes.com/l/1tJaL - spon
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Why did the blonde write "TGIF" on her shoes? To remind herself that "toes go in first"
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
The most over the top and weird cell phone covers ever! LMAO mylikes.com/l/1tFbu - spon
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
What do you call it when you throw your laptop over the side of a cruise ship? A Dell rolling in the deep.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
The most used sexual position amongst married couples is doggy style.

The husband sits and begs, while the wife rolls over and plays dead.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Q: What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

A: You can unscrew a light bulb.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris........ After 5 days of extreme pain........ the snake died.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
2of2: "You get worse and worse every day!" yelled his boss.
"That's because the bucket gets further and further away every day." said Paddy
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
1 of 2: Paddy got a job as a road line-painter. He paints 5 miles on the first day, 2 miles on the second day and 1 on the third day.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Hollywood is the stomping ground for some seriously beautiful women. Check out the top 10 hottest here! mylikes.com/l/1tDmR - spon
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Why did the blonde get on the roof of the bar?
She heard drinks were on the house.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Q: What's the difference between light and hard?
A: You can sleep with a LIGHT ON.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
How tragic is it that Snooki looks a lot better without makeup haha!
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Check out these star celebrities WITHOUT their makeup. What the heck happened?! mylikes.com/l/1tCTE - spon
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Boy - "dear Santa, for Xmas, I would like a baby brother."
Santa - "Send me your mother."
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Girls are like Internet Domain names, the good ones I like are already taken.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
America once tried to make a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take sh*t from nobody.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
#jokeoftheweek Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with Battery.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
#ThingsWomenCanDoThatMenCant 1. Bleed for a week and not die. 2. Give milk without eating grass. 3. Bury a 8 inch bone faster than any dog!
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
Why do blondes hate M&M's? Because they're hard to peel.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognised.
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Outrageous Jokes @outrageousjokes
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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Check out the 10 Best Places on your Body to get a Tattoo! Number 9 would definitely get you some attention! mylikes.com/l/1tx17 - spon
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