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ImageNameLocationTwitter sinceLinks
E=mc²2011-08-04
@samalmightysam686 days
Comedian, Writer, Rocket Scientist.
FollowersFollowingTweetsListsFavorites
108,49636,0841,5771,801268,134
E=mc² is currently not listed in any of our charts.  

Plus500
E=mc² @samalmightysam
Don't try to explain yourself to stupid people. You're not stupid, remember? Or are you?
13h               
47
E=mc² @samalmightysam
I hate having a lot of imaginary friends because I always have to pay for the beers.
14h               
25
E=mc² @samalmightysam
In hell, for your birthday, they give you socks in an iPhone 5 box.
1d               
46
E=mc² @samalmightysam
RT if you were born because your parents had sex
2d               
57
E=mc² @samalmightysam
RT if you're a dinasaur
2d               
56
E=mc² @samalmightysam
RT if you weren't invited to your parents wedding.
2d               
52
E=mc² @samalmightysam
RT if you like big butts and you can not lie.
2d               
40
E=mc² @samalmightysam
RT if you're mermaid
2d               
104
E=mc² @samalmightysam
I'm responsible for what I do, not for what people say I do.
5d               
225
E=mc² @samalmightysam
It doesn't matter how ugly, weird, big nose, short or stupid you are, if you can make a woman laugh, she's yours forever.
5d               
99
E=mc² @samalmightysam
Twitter is my serious account, the funny one is my bank account.
6d               
727
E=mc² @samalmightysam
RT if you're Chewbacca
6d               
55
E=mc² @samalmightysam
— Could you close the window please, it's cold.
— Sure, *Alt + F4*.
6d               
80
E=mc² @samalmightysam
Behind silence, there is a hidden love.
6d               
49
E=mc² @samalmightysam
Don't tell me you miss me, tell me at what time you're coming over.
6d               
78
E=mc² @samalmightysam
For a person you love to appreciate you, you have to prove to them you're also able of stop loving them and of moving on.
6d               
60
E=mc² @samalmightysam
If you're not in my future I'm coming back.
6d               
79
E=mc² @samalmightysam
Only love can make us do stupid shit like waiting for someone to change like if we're gonna live forever.
6d               
52
E=mc² @samalmightysam
This having to wake up every morning and doing real life grown up shit is some bullshit.
6d               
139
E=mc² @samalmightysam
Don't attack others when the war is against yourself.
7d               
138
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