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| I never poop at school but the one day I have no choice I get stuck between two men(sounding very large) who apparently have bowel problems |
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| I came from my fathers balls. |
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| Blowjobs are like flowers for men. |
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| I'm doing alright for a fifteen year old with wife and a baby. |
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| Watching the departed. Great flick! |
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| Some people just like soft noodles. |
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| Caught the shampoo bottle in the shower today....I think I just leveled up. |
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| I like taking my clothes off like a porn star. |
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| If you want her to stop complaining about the toilet seat being up, try peeing with it down a few times. |
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| These new "energy saving" light bulbs are rip offs. They take just as much effort to screw in as the original ones. |
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| With all the new car technology you think they could produce a side mirror that could show where an object actually appears. |
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| I can't believe it's the year 2012 and I still have to bend down to pick things up. |
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| oh man can't believe I was so off!! I'll never make that mistake again! Thanks! |
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| Animal testing is horrible. They get all nervous and give the wrong answers. |
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| How do you find Will Smith in the snow?? Look for the fresh prints.... Ba dum chh |
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| When I'm on my deathbed, I want my last words to be, " I left one million dollars in the..." |
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| Jesus freaks need to put down the bible and pick up a drink. |
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| Where are the sheep we keep getting all the steel wool from?! |
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