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| "You need to understand," Waynette LaPierre spoke, "We French folk are a romantic sort; Simba has a Paris gun that fires out roasted snails" |
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| Android informed Wayne LaPierre's daughter her choice was highly illogical after she picked Simba Obama over him on the Bachelorette. |
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| I painted a whole series during that period which I called, "Dictators Naked Riding Llamas." I think Herb stole my Pinochet though. |
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| The value of a portrait of Jorge Videla naked on a llama painted during Operation Condor only stands to skyrocket with his death. |
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| This week's poll and mirth! -> |
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| I knew about your thing with Liz Smith ("or someone damn well like her"). Now you're saying you bedded Bea Arthur too? Wow Granny! |
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| How about a story for stupid people about an hourglass shaped can of beer and sleeve of greasy breakfast sausage rolling to Vegas? |
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| You might be right Granny. Stupid people have done so much to entertain me over the years. Maybe it's time to give something back. |
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| Why enslave yourself to the opinions of stupid people? So what if they might think Conservatives care about saving owls? |
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| I already told you I don't like to be called 'Conservative'---stupid people will think I care about saving owls. |
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| I'm surprised to see you sympathize w/ reporters as disenfranchised people with rights. You're a true compassionate Conservative. |
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| The AP reporters are angry, disenfranchised people also. You should apologize to them like the tea baggers. |
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| This week's poll and belated greetings! |
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| But Pappy strongly defended the amphibious diner concept: "Do you know how many diners in Jersey could've been saved by this during Sandy?" |
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| The Dutch are taking applications for a one-way trip to Mars. You have to keep your finger in a hole the whole way if the ship gets a leak. |
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| Juan Carlos was dead-set against Pappy converting the SS T Boone Pickens into an amphibious Greek diner in Sioux Falls, called it emotional. |
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| "Perhaps Juan Carlos was right," Pappy pondered, "maybe it would be best to off-shore the magical Amish heater manufacturing to Bangladesh." |
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| Now, with his relationship with Bea Ledbetter in tatters and his Amish shed and magical Amish heater companies in disarray, Pappy pondered. |
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| Since 2009 Pappy had picked the Catskills as his place of Amish exile, where the poor quality of soil and tourism could not be challenged. |
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| Pappy feared it was only a matter of time before his grandson faced Amish exile also to a land far away with poor soil and bleak tourism. |
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