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ImageNameLocationTwitter sinceLinks
mitch hedbergHollywood, FL2010-11-10
@mitchhedbot922 days
Created by @neilkod.For more info visit http://t.co/5dbqN7mml0.
FollowersFollowingTweetsListsFavorites
14,729033,8722570
mitch hedberg is listed in charts for:  Los Angeles

mitch hedberg @mitchhedbot
Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, Im gonna go shave, too.
1h               
17
mitch hedberg @mitchhedbot
I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
3d               
45
mitch hedberg @mitchhedbot
I was gonna have my teeth whitened, but then I said fuck that, I'll just get a tan instead.
4d               
29
mitch hedberg @mitchhedbot
I had the cab driver drive me here backwards... the fucker owed me $27.50!
7d               
9
mitch hedberg @mitchhedbot
I had the cab driver drive me here backwards... the fucker owed me $27.50!
10d               
24
mitch hedberg @mitchhedbot
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
11d               
24
mitch hedberg @mitchhedbot
Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.
14d               
32
mitch hedberg @mitchhedbot
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
17d               
31
mitch hedberg @mitchhedbot
I like Kit-Kat, unless I'm with four or more people.
18d               
28
mitch hedberg @mitchhedbot
Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.
21d               
38
mitch hedberg @mitchhedbot
I like Kit-Kat, unless I'm with four or more people.
24d               
16
mitch hedberg @mitchhedbot
Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day.
25d               
56
mitch hedberg @mitchhedbot
Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show.
28d               
14
mitch hedberg @mitchhedbot
I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.
31d               
48
mitch hedberg @mitchhedbot
Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.
32d               
36
mitch hedberg @mitchhedbot
An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs.
35d               
56
mitch hedberg @mitchhedbot
When I was on acid, I would see things like beams of light... and I would hear sounds that sounded an awful lot like car horns.
38d               
19
mitch hedberg @mitchhedbot
I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.
39d               
43
mitch hedberg @mitchhedbot
I bought a seven-dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.
42d               
25
mitch hedberg @mitchhedbot
I bought a scratch-off ticket, but then I accidentally spilled some cortizone cream on it, so it did not need to be scratched.
45d               
31
Chart history Los Angeles
Date Followers Following Tweets Avg daily total New followers New following New tweets Avg daily month Follow rank Tweet rank
2013-05-2014,729033,87236.753090.54,283638
2013-04-3014,676033,86337.5920130.44,283638
2013-03-3114,584033,85038.81300140.54,309574
2013-02-2814,454033,83640.23310130.54,170535
2013-01-3114,123033,82341.6370100.34,154484
2012-12-3114,086033,81343.22890120.43,951437
2012-11-3013,797033,80145.0-26060.23,844390
2012-10-3113,823033,79546.943070.23,518321
2012-09-3013,780033,78849.0640140.53,541317
2012-08-3113,716033,77451.27660391.33,521320
2012-07-3112,950033,73553.65420601.93,324251
2012-06-3012,408033,67556.35480571.93,129208
2012-05-3111,860033,61859.23670401.33,108199
2012-04-3011,493033,57862.53540491.62,966171
2012-03-3111,139033,52966.15690622.02,720131
2012-02-2910,570033,46770.31,1830561.92,55195
2012-01-319,387033,41174.75350581.92,35366
2011-12-318,852033,35380.28790581.92,11349
2011-11-307,973033,29586.5----2,14242

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