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| #1: If higher taxes on cigarettes are meant to decrease smoking, what are higher taxes on business supposed to do? |
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#1: I tell every new hire the same thing. Spend that cash. No one needs a $100 million funeral.
#2: Or a $50 million ex-wife. |
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| 1st lawsuit comes from 's son, who "works" in Special Sits. Alex didnt appreciate his Twitter mention. |
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| #1: Whenever someone asks how I'm doing, I usually just lie and say 'good', even though I'm doing a lot better than that. |
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| #1: There are no feminists when the ship hits an iceberg. |
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| #1: In all fairness to extra IRS scrutiny, the Tea Party groups did name themselves after an illegal tax revolt. |
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| #1: My 10yr old made a birdhouse. We're so screwed. 10yr olds in China are making iPhones. |
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| #1: There's no telling how much of an asshole I'd be if I were Ryan Gosling handsome. |
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| #1: In sensitivity training, they say we should avoid sports analogies bc they're sexist... Which seems even more sexist. |
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| #1: Anyone can pretend to be serious, but you can't pretend to be witty. |
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#1: We're going to Smith & Wolly's for dinner.
#2: Can u steal me one of those jackets?
#3: What the Hell for?
#2: Henley. |
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| #1: I’m sick of 21yr olds thinking they’re special for being hot. At 21, you’re supposed to be hot. Call me when you’re 40 and hot. |
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| #1: Not only did I forget her name in the morning, I forgot what I told her my name was too. |
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| #1: Justin Bieber is to music what Justin Bieber is to Marine Biology. |
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[Associate (#1) to few classmates]
#1: Doctor.
#2: Doctor.
#1: Doctor.
#3. Doctor.
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| #1: If I wanted to experience The Great Gatsby in 3D, I wouldn't go to the movies. |
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| #1: Anyone who says 'Beer o'clock' deserves to get punched in the balls. |
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| #1: I'd don't care if Bloomberg knows my favorite functions are USPO and NI ODD. As long as they don't tell Pablo. |
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| #1: Don't worry, some people are their own punishment in life. |
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| #1: There are only 2 paths to happiness in life. Stupidity or exceptional wealth. |
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