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Before people get to know me: Oh my god you're so shy..and quiet...it's adorable.
After we become friends: DEAR GOD DO YOU EVER SHUT UP ?" |
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The sound of children laughing makes me happy.
Unless I'm home alone and my power goes out." |
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Me: “Mom… dad.. I decided to live on my own from now on.”
Them: “Ok, cool.”
Me: “Your bags are outside.”" |
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oh hey look a text message from.......
*the network service provider*" |
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| Sorry sir you can't smoke here" "But I bought the cigarettes from your shop" "We also sell condoms. But you can't start fucking here" |
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| *DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!* ..... Okay, I will go to my best friend's house and try it." |
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| The mini heart attack when you're in bed half asleep and you suddenly feel like you're falling." |
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| Now hurry up and text me back so I can ignore you." |
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| Marijuana is not a gateway drug that leads to harder drugs. It's more of a drive thru drug that leads to french fries and frosties." |
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| My six pack is protected by a layer of fat." |
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| "Haha you blinked!" "of course I blinked you clapped your hands in my face..... idiot."" |
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| I hate it when I'm trying to text someone but the person beside me tries to look at my screen." |
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| Sometimes its really hard to believe that everything happens for a reason." |
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| That awkward eye contact you make with your teacher while trying to cheat on a test." |
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| Spongebob: | ( • )( • ) | Patrick: / ( • )( • ) \\ Squidward: ( (•)(•) ) Plankton: | (•) | Mr. Krabs: |•||•| RT if can you see them!" |
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| I saw someone tweet "I can't wait until 13/13/13." Let's take a moment and pray for this dumbass." |
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| I smile and act like nothing is wrong, it's called putting shit aside and being strong." |
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| Some people will never appreciate what you do for them." |
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