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| Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities. |
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| It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense. |
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| The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug. |
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| It is easier to stay out than get out. |
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| Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it. |
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| To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal. |
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| It is not best that we should all think alike; it is a difference of opinion that makes horse races. |
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| Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid. |
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| It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected. |
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| Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run. |
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| A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way. |
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| Work is a necessary evil to be avoided. |
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| When in doubt tell the truth. |
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| The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. |
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| He is now rising from affluence to poverty. |
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| Necessity is the mother of taking chances. |
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| Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial "we." |
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| Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get. |
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| Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned. |
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| There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist. |
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