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| GOOGLE SEARCH HISTORY: WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN A WASP WATCHES YOU FOR HOURS AND THEN FALLS OFF THE WALL |
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| I compensate for my small penis by talking about "dry rot" and "this gal I used to bang back in college" |
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| Thanks for leading me on all day only to bail at the last minute when I’ve got my shoes on ready to go. Prick. |
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| Nadine ready to bitchslap you |
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Him: What are you talking
Him: Taking
Him: At school |
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| I’d have more chemistry with a goldfish |
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| They gave me the wrong sandwich and I didn’t know till I got home ;_; |
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| it sounds creepier than an old woman whispering in your ear that she wants to cut you up into tiny pieces |
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| Rob Ford is the kind of politician I could have a beer with. Smoke a j with. Snort some lines with. Freebase with. Smoke rocks with. Shoot u |
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| Men should be banned from saying making love |
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| if you had a line of Beats I imagine they would ooze sound producing jizz into the ears of the wearer for noise cancellation |
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| That 2 hours of sleep last night is feeling super refreshing right now. |
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| My girlfriend is really bad at math.. She just tipped the pizza guy $10 for an $18 order. Well I guess we made his night! |
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Twitter Quiz -
"Tomorrow! Tomorrow! I love ya, tomorrow!"
Is a quote from:
A) Your mom
B) Annie
C) A procrastinating prostitute |
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| The Niagara Falls of precum |
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| Molluscs, molasses, same thing |
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| Following your society, your politicians and your religious institution, will transform your individuality into an illusion. |
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