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I bet the is curious what is being spread around 'other' accounts about his sorry old arse.
LMFAO!!! Who is laughing now birdbrain. |
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| Missed Connection: You were dangling from a cliff. I was scrambling for my cell phone. You fell before I could take a picture. |
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| Finding the perfect amount of booze for annoyingly stupid, but funny(to me) tweets. |
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Eventually the chase gets old.
You want it, come and get it. |
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| Not saying Lois Lane is a shitty reporter but my friend showed up without his glasses on today and I recognized him after like 20 minutes. |
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| Birds are fucking annoying shitting on ebody and everything. Fucking parasites. Love when they slam into shit. |
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| I was BLOCKED by a woman who refers to herself as CAPTAIN THUNDER CUNT. My most sincere apologies to the Captain and the entire Cunt family. |
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| They should make little red check marks for verified assholes. |
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| trust me, i get more satisfaction out of watching me succeed than watching you fail |
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| Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting the Spanish Inquisition. |
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Anyone want to buy my twitter account?
— My dignity is worth very little to me. |
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| I realize I'm new here & all but I'm slightly disappointed in the fact I've not been stalked or been the subject of a subtweet! wtf y'all ?? |
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When I was a kid I always dreamed of running away from my life and joining the circus.
I guess twitter is pretty close.... |
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| I like you so much I'm gonna wait until the third date before I start acting like an asshole. |
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| Just read that the state insect of New Mexico is the Tarantula Wasp...yeah, I don't know what that is exactly, but fuck that place, man. |
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| If I don't follow it's not because I don't like you, I just don't want to read negativity everyday. |
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| This has been my most successful day on twitter ever, I think smugly to myself as I sit alone with Netflix and my cat on Saturday night. |
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| I am not a drunk. I am a medicinal user of ancient Egyptian medicine that remedies all kinds of shit. |
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| Anybody care how to pronounce Stihl ? |
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| Sometimes all you can do is brace for impact & hope like hell the crash isn't as bad as you think. |
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