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ImageNameLocationTwitter sinceLinks
ihatejokes2010-03-15
@ihatejokes1,167 days
Jokes in 140 characters or less. Start your joke with @ihatejokes and we shall retweet (if it's good).
FollowersFollowingTweetsListsFavorites
14,80715,383153520
ihatejokes is currently not listed in any of our charts.  

ihatejokes @ihatejokes
How much does it really cost to get married? No one knows, everyone is still paying for it.
5d               
3
ihatejokes @ihatejokes
Why does a room full of married people look so empty? Because there's not a single person in it.
13d               
13
ihatejokes @ihatejokes
I love it when I buy a bag of air, and the company is nice enough to put chips in it.
14d               
9
ihatejokes @ihatejokes
"I wasn't speeding officer, but I passed several people who were!"
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5
ihatejokes @ihatejokes
Passwords are like underwear; change them often.
16d               
6
ihatejokes @ihatejokes
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
17d               
4
ihatejokes @ihatejokes
My extra sensitive toothpaste doesn't like it when I use other toothpastes.
18d               
3
ihatejokes @ihatejokes
French people give me the crepes.
18d               
1
ihatejokes @ihatejokes
How do you organize a space party? You planet.
22d               
4
ihatejokes @ihatejokes
When I laugh at jokes on the internet, I don't even laugh. I just blow more air out of my nose than usual.
22d               
11
ihatejokes @ihatejokes
No matter how amazing you are at something, there will always be an 8-year-old Asian who is better.
22d               
8
ihatejokes @ihatejokes
Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.
23d               
7
ihatejokes @ihatejokes
If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit by me and we can make fun of people together.
23d               
14
ihatejokes @ihatejokes
I love pressing F5. It's so refreshing.
25d               
8
ihatejokes @ihatejokes
I just started a band called 999 Megabytes. We haven't done a gig yet.
25d               
3
ihatejokes @ihatejokes
There are 3 kinds of people: those who are good at math, and those who aren't.
25d               
4
ihatejokes @ihatejokes
There's a new app that tells you how smart your dog is. Here's how it works: if you bought the app, your dog is smarter than you.
26d               
2
ihatejokes @ihatejokes
Never trust an atom. They make up everything.
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3
ihatejokes @ihatejokes
I'm not lazy; I just really enjoy doing nothing.
26d               
12
ihatejokes @ihatejokes
How does Jesus make tea? Hebrews it.
29d               
6
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