 | |
| I just realized I can bench more than the average sized car ... Mainly because I'm HUGE, and the average sized car can't bench shit. |
| |
| |
| I'll only join a hotel's "loyalty program" so they don't call the cops on me for the shit I do. |
| |
 | |
| Man on death row. Accuser RECANTS! But Mississippi court won't release DNA proof that could free him. Dies TOMORROW |
| |
| |
| I like looking at random girls and imagine being in a relationship, then fast fwd'ing to that time where we're married and hate each other. |
| |
| |
| I feel like I need to curse more to make my points more relevant. Because that shit fuckin' works. |
| |
 | |
| Used app for tickets ready for Friday night 3/29 at the Sheraton support… |
| |
| |
| I've decided to come up with nicknames for all the Fragmob employees. |
| |
 | |
| For every player who credits God for the win, a player from the opposing team can logically blame God for the loss. |
| |
 | |
| The podcast today with today may very well have been our most mind-blowing yet. A true honor to speak to an amazing person! |
| |
| |
| The number of gifts I give out this yr is directly correlated with the number of things I bought for myself that "looked better in the ad" |
| |
| |
| Just dropped my iPhone in the toilet. Could it be I'm not as smart as I tell everyone I am? |
| |
| |
| I see what you did there ... I like it ... I like it. |
| |
| |
| My lack of Christmas shopping efforts rival even the most homeless of people. |
| |
| |
| So Instagram is selling photos? Jesus, FINALLY ... I've been begging them to sell and distribute my mirror/flexing photos for months. |
| |
 | |
| Everytime something bad happens, people cry out for safety, and the government takes rights away from good people. |
| |
| |
| I like to use facts and logic ... In order to confuse people. |
| |
| |
| If you happen to enjoy the uniqueness of 12h 12m 12s 12/12/12, then don't forget 12h 12m 13s 12/12/12. It's just as rare. |
| |
| |
| Employees are not a cog in a wheel ... They are a critical component of something great |
| |
| |
| topless beach volleyball in jeans. Obvi. |
| |
