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| I'm not playing "hard to get"... I'm playing "I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole." |
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| That awkward moment when something's serious, but you still laugh at it. |
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| Me: Okay, I'm gonna get home, get all my homework done, have dinner and then go to bed early. Twitter: Lol, no. |
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| I'm dying of laughter.. ellen in my last tweet. she is the best ^.^ |
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| Just because I'm nice to you, doesn't mean I'm fake. It means I'm mature enough to tolerate my hate towards you |
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| When you text someone and they don't text back, they obviously got so excited they fainted |
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| I don't want a job, I just want money. |
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| When someone gives you food out of nowhere, the first thing you say is, "What did you do to it?" |
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| Checking the fridge every 10 minutes to see if any food magically appeared. |
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| Husband = [H]e [U]nderstands [S]ituations [B]etter [A]nd [N]ever [D]isappears. |
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| If your parents never have kids, I swear to God you won't either. |
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| No one cares unless you're pretty or dying. |
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| You're 13. You smoke, you're not a virgin and you wear more makeup than you do clothes. Your mom must be so proud! |
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| *alarm*...*snooze*....*alarm*....*snooze*....*alarm*..*checks time*..."Oh sh!t" |
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| Boyfri(end), Girlfri(end), Fri(end). Everything has an end except Fam(ily) |
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| When you say 'I love you', you are making a promise with someone else's heart.. Try to honor it. |
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| Finding Nemo 2 is coming... These little kids better get their asses OUT OF MY WAAAY! |
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| Say it to my face, not through your status |
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| "Are you home?" "No, I just answered my home phone from a bat cave" |
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| Emergency call: "911, What is your emergency?" "Two girls are fighting over me!" "So what's the problem sir?" "The ugly one is winning..." |
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