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| I woke up too early and now I have to go back to sleep to finish the dream about the mean old lady and her dogs. |
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| I always opt for the Oxford comma. But I didn't think of the line as a 3 part list. I thought 1) look to the past 2) rem & smile |
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| 4am club, Paris chapter. C'est la vie. Je vais a la plage. |
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| With my son. He got mad I didn't include his effort. Please have him play the theme at my funeral. On an ocarina. |
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| If I ever die, please play the theme from Ordon Village at my funereal to commemorate the time I beat Twilight Princess over a weekend. |
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| every third day. at most. |
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"You need an attitude adjustment. Are a fondue? Or a fondant?"
I'm so sorry. |
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| Look. We've gone over this time and time again. What don't you get? PAUL IS YOUR FAVORITE BEATLE!! |
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| How did The Office finale end? Did they get off the island? |
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| HOW COME NOBODY EVER PLAYS CHOPIN'S SONATA FOR PIANO NO. 2 IN B-FLAT MINOR OP 35 AT MY SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTIES?! |
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| Can you even IMAGINE the posthumous shame of someone laying on a coroner's table knowing their unbleached butthole is near to be discovered? |
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| TBT New York City, circa 2001. |
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| Are you fucking kidding me?! This whole time I thought it was "Knights in White Satin." I'm so stupid. Sorry about me. |
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| Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't "fuck, marry, kill" just the normal course of a relationship? |
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| I still think it's weak that one of The Unsullied trained his whole life just to have his nipple cut off to prove a point. |
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| your haircuts win football trophies!! |
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| I still smoke cigarettes in my dreams, but I wake up relieved it wasn't real. Quitting smoking is the best thing I've done. |
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| True. Chelsea was outplayed. Much respect to Benfica. Glad to win but sad to add to Benfica's European finals curse. |
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