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| "If I was a sculptor, but then again no..." Elton you can just sing the final draft, you don't have to show your work. |
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I twittercided for a bit......
FYI The Real world sucked - you haven't missed a thing. |
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| Everything i do is on the don't do/ eat / say lists. Just Don't It |
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| "the best thing about twitter is you can make shit up" Abraham Lincoln |
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| Trail Mix should just be called "Dig around until you find the M&M's" |
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That moment
When you discover someone who's really sweet and lovely
Is also naughty and sexy as hell
And then you know trouble is brewing |
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| glad they had your extra small size on hand :-) |
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| Saturday afternoons... limbo between recovering and re-drinking |
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| My finger gun beats your finger gun - I cock mine with Rubber bands ... Pew, cock, pew, cock, pew. |
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| Who’s drunker? The dude in a lawn chair oblivious to a kid throwing cat turds at his face? Or me, who’s handing said cat turds to said kid? |
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| the difference between hanging out with friends or entertaining company is weather or not you have to hide the bong |
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| If the dude has an egg shaped head with short bangs - don't idiot up and sell him a gun. |
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| I wouldn't say that any of the women I've ever dated were mistakes. Now the guys that were dressed like women, those were mistakes. |
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| I want to be the reason you pee in six different directions every morning. |
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I've had a bug up my ass all day.
Waaay cheaper than gerbils. |
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| I'm in no condition to thrive. |
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| Duck is a four-letter bird. |
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| You can't turn back the hands of time, but you can high-five them. |
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| Drinking & Tweeting and Other Blunders' - A cautionary tale w/ a few F Bombs - Tweeters can relate |
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| Shout out to the clap of thunder that hit as I opened my door this morning. It's cool. That underwear was old & needed to be trashed anyway. |
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