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| The twitter app is weird with emoji tweets sometimes. Anyways... |
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Morgan Freeman does full-length commentary for a film where he narrates a day in the life of famous narrators.
*closes powerpoint & sighs* |
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| Stop whining, you never interacted with me either, it isn't some one-sided thing. I don't need NHL play-by-play. |
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| I think Tony Soprano just died. Is it too soon to make a joke? What if it's not even that funny? How long do I have to wait? |
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| My facial hair has a certain "I wouldn't be trusted near your children" quality to it. |
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| I'm figuratively killing you and literally dying of happiness. |
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Passing off others words as your own isn’t that bad.
It’s not like you stole pix & pretended to be them.
Oh wait, it’s exactly like that. |
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Maybe some purity rings are defective, maybe some girls just think the ring looks pretty on their finger. Who knows. Thanks !
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When someone tells you you're hot, see who else they think is hot before getting too excited about it. Thanks, !
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| Stick around long enough & you get to see everybody be a hypocrite. |
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| True Life: I Married a Dorito |
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| Maybe instead of building a mystery you should have been building a dog shelter this whole time, Sarah McLachlan. |
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| Ladies! Make your new boyfriend feel special by calling 47 times per hour, then proceed to purchase a puppy and refer to it as your child. |
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| Ever fart & you're like "that's weird cause I don't REMEMBER eating a demon" yea me neither how embarrassing. |
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| Looks like I'm gonna have to open up a can of smartass. |
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I don't really embarrass people in public unless I'm trying to, so stay on my good side when we're outdoors. Thanks, !
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IS IT WORTH IT
LEMME TWERK IT
NO SERIOUSLY BACK OFF LEMME TWERK IT I WAS GONNA TWERK IT ANYWAYS |
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